ive been in the community for about a year. started with david d and moved to diff puas. my game went up to number close. its my fault for not giving 100%. my friend told me that when i go out it should be fun talking to hb/women not like a job. ive noticed when i heard about the dj community, i was excited. i start day daydreaming being the best dj out there. teaching guys how to pickup chicks, giving seminars, the problem was my game was just starting. it backfired cause it put more pressure on me. i just found that out yesterday after doing it for a year. well its never too late. well im 27 and i should start dating by now. before i go out i revise my material and than go to mall/bar/bookstore. when i see a women i want to ask opinion or game i freeze. for the past couple of months, ive been going out only once a week. i keep on delaying going out and than the day ends. it feels like a job. the other problem is that there so many women out there and me approaching every single one of them is like...so much work. usually when i go out im thinking i hope i dont see that many women, cause in my mind if i see a women i like i have to approach them, i have to approach every single one of them. thats one of the reasons i dont go out that much. cause if i see a women i have to approach her. and than the pressure is on so i freeze and than bite my tongue when i dont say a word. no offense but guys who go out,have fun, and got game i would them to tell me what there mindset is when they go out sarging. there so many women there and do u guys approach all of them. if i havent confused u yet with my problem, HELP!!!!
this pua/DJ game feels like a job. HELP
- Thread starter daguru
- Start date
Fortunate_Juan
Senior Don Juan
Its all in your head man. It's a job because thats how you're framing it. I think the only reason you are having so much trouble with it is because you are not fully embracing the ideas. I used to have to think about "acting non-afc" now... it's a natural reaction. You have to get out there and practice! Thats how it becomes fun! And don't set your self up for failure. Work on progress, you don't just instantly change in to a player by coming to this site, it can take awhile. You already blamed yourself for not giving it 100%. The only one you're hurting is you, when you do that. Get out there, HAVE FUN, work on your game and plow chicks. In that order.
WC2
Master Don Juan
While others swear upon picking up a certain amount of numbers a day, or initiating conversations with X amount of women, I don't.
I tend to find that your best chances of picking up women come naturally.
Throw out your material, it's useless.
Memorizing lines or methods is just draining your brain. You don't need others materials to succeed. Everything that you need to pickup a woman is already inside you. You just haven't gotten it to come out.
When you go out, the only thing that should be on your mind is having some fun. If other things are crowding your mind, how on earth are you going to have a sincere conversation with another human being? You're not using your material, but someone else's! While it may work once or twice, you can't be someone else the rest of your life.
Next time you go out with your friends, don't even worry about women. It's OK to say, "I'm going to just go out and socialize and if I succeed in gaming a woman, then fine. If not, no big deal."
You see, in midst of you not caring, you let off massive amount of stress and give off a better vibe to those around you, believe it or not. Do you think the best DJs out there go out thinking, "I have to lay a girl tonight, and that's that."
NO! DJs know how to go out and naturally talk to women without even thinking about it. Make some eye contact with a woman, smile at her and ask her what her name it. Keep the conversation sincere and funny. Don't worry about being the Alpha Male. If you are that confident that to where you don't have to worry, YOU ARE THE ALPHA MALE!
Don't give yourself expectations. Let things flow naturally. Women have a sixth sense for men who are trying to be something they are not. Every man has confidence and game in them. It's just that most men don't know how to play their own game and play someone else's, unsuccessfully.
I tend to find that your best chances of picking up women come naturally.
Throw out your material, it's useless.
Memorizing lines or methods is just draining your brain. You don't need others materials to succeed. Everything that you need to pickup a woman is already inside you. You just haven't gotten it to come out.
When you go out, the only thing that should be on your mind is having some fun. If other things are crowding your mind, how on earth are you going to have a sincere conversation with another human being? You're not using your material, but someone else's! While it may work once or twice, you can't be someone else the rest of your life.
Next time you go out with your friends, don't even worry about women. It's OK to say, "I'm going to just go out and socialize and if I succeed in gaming a woman, then fine. If not, no big deal."
You see, in midst of you not caring, you let off massive amount of stress and give off a better vibe to those around you, believe it or not. Do you think the best DJs out there go out thinking, "I have to lay a girl tonight, and that's that."
NO! DJs know how to go out and naturally talk to women without even thinking about it. Make some eye contact with a woman, smile at her and ask her what her name it. Keep the conversation sincere and funny. Don't worry about being the Alpha Male. If you are that confident that to where you don't have to worry, YOU ARE THE ALPHA MALE!
Don't give yourself expectations. Let things flow naturally. Women have a sixth sense for men who are trying to be something they are not. Every man has confidence and game in them. It's just that most men don't know how to play their own game and play someone else's, unsuccessfully.
Take a break form the game. Just go out to be with your boys. And game will naturally happen to you... If you already read up this sihit you will implement it with out even thinking about it... Def cut out reviewing bullsihit before going out. For sure though take some time off the game.
WC2: Nice Post! Spot on!
Yep, chuck the tactics out the window and don't come back to em until after you have had some experience.
First off I would say that inner game stuff is probably what you should be concerntrating on. Do things that will improve your life AND help you meet women.
I strongly suggest learning to salsa.
Think about it, you'll meet girls (you'll even have to touch them! Yuk!!!), you'll meet other guys who are probably in a similar head space, its good exercise and it will teach your body to move with confident graceful movements.
Secondly do a few things that would scare the **** out of you. Trust me on this one.
There is all this bull**** and ego and materialism in our society that trys to tell us that we are not complete human beings unless we are either ****ing a different girl every night or a supermodel. Thats such bull****.
You're right, you are putting too much pressure on yourself. Its okay to just be yourself. Its even okay to not to WANT to be like that. You don't have to be one of these ego driven wankers whose self esteem depends on nailing every chick that falls for their game.
It doesn't even sound to me that success in this Game will bring you happiness.
Just get on with your life without trying to live up to ****ed up imagined ideals.
JJ
Yep, chuck the tactics out the window and don't come back to em until after you have had some experience.
First off I would say that inner game stuff is probably what you should be concerntrating on. Do things that will improve your life AND help you meet women.
I strongly suggest learning to salsa.
Think about it, you'll meet girls (you'll even have to touch them! Yuk!!!), you'll meet other guys who are probably in a similar head space, its good exercise and it will teach your body to move with confident graceful movements.
Secondly do a few things that would scare the **** out of you. Trust me on this one.
There is all this bull**** and ego and materialism in our society that trys to tell us that we are not complete human beings unless we are either ****ing a different girl every night or a supermodel. Thats such bull****.
You're right, you are putting too much pressure on yourself. Its okay to just be yourself. Its even okay to not to WANT to be like that. You don't have to be one of these ego driven wankers whose self esteem depends on nailing every chick that falls for their game.
It doesn't even sound to me that success in this Game will bring you happiness.
Just get on with your life without trying to live up to ****ed up imagined ideals.
JJ
LA_Chico
Senior Don Juan
It is a job bro, except u get laid and theres no food stamps
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
Wait until you're actually developing rapore with girls and doing it like a reflex. You'll be going on dates and managing intrest from so many angles with so many people you'll have trouble keeping track. That's when DJing becomes a chore and more like work. Honestly it's a better state to be in rather then the first phase but still managing your time after you're a serious player in the game is far more stressful then doing series of approaches.