This is why girls flake on guys so much!

[skip2mylou781]

Let's say you go out and get 10 #s from HB's, and in each case you got the # close in less than 10 minutes. I gaurantee you that if you follow the "rules" and wait more than 3 days to call, you will prob never see that girl again due to the following reasons:

1)she wont pick up and never call you back.
2)she'll pick up and say whos this and thats basically a knife in the back if ur tryin to go out with her
3)she'll pick up and talk for a minute and say she's busy and will call u back (which 9 outta 10 times she wont).
4)other scenarios like this

WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN? Simple, because if u get a girl's # really quickly and THEN play the waiting game, then likely with little rapport, she really doesnt give a f#ck about u and who u r and wat u want from her, so she'll end up flaking and probably come close to forgetting about you.

CALL THE NEXT DAY WHEN # CLOSING A GIRL U'VE BARELY TALKED TO!!!!

This is not desperate, because as long as you talk to her like ur sauve, then she will understand that u 2 barely had a chance to talk and ur callin to get to kno her slightly better AND to offer to hang out.

You cant just call in a week and ask for a date, THAT IS HOW FLAKES HAPPEN.


THE MORE YOU TALK TO A GIRL, THE LESS LIKELY SHE'LL FLAKE, AS LOGN AS YOUR NOT TALKING WAYYY TOO LONG.


Girl will not wanna go on a date with a guy she doesn't know at all just because she gave him her #. However, if the guy calls soon after getting the #, he can build some common connections aka rapport for a few minutes, the connection that he didtn have time to build when doing the pickup, and then chances will descrease greatly that the girl will flake.


BOTTOM LINE - if you # close really fast aka hi, where u from, wats ur name, and a couple of minutes of convo, then you BETTER call the girl SOON because you have not given her enough in person to care about your phone call. Waiting 3 or more days to call only applies when lots of rapport has benn built and SHE HAS A REASON TO LIKE YOU.


If the girl is hot (no reason to get #s of girls that arent hot anyway), then she will get picked up many times while ur sittin there waiting a week to call trying to be a "challenge", and by the time u do call, she'll think of you as last week's news and will not care much for you, cuz she's got newer fresher prospects lined up who got her # and DID call her before you did.

 

[flippinfreak]

If you play it like your speed dating, than you will get flaked...

If you play it like, I want to get to know you better, better as in, better than the other chumps, she won't flake.

If you do go off and spend less than 5 minutes on the phone, while having NOTHING in common, than there is going to be no INTEREST for her to go on a date with you. No matter how interesting YOU are as a person, she wants to be INTERESTING TOGETHER...

If you ask for a date, period, on the FIRST call you make to the girl, you sound desperate... no matter HOW well you speak.

 

[speedo_meme]

If you do go off and spend less than 5 minutes on the phone, while having NOTHING in common, than there is going to be no INTEREST for her to go on a date with you. No matter how interesting YOU are as a person, she wants to be INTERESTING TOGETHER....

Most likely she will go out with you in this situation.

If you ask for a date, period, on the FIRST call you make to the girl, you sound desperate... no matter HOW well you speak.

Wrong again. When I call a girl for the first time, it's one-two sentences of small talk, then I ask her out....if she says yes, great, if she says no, oh well....

I don't call girls to bullsh!t. I have enough friends. I'll leave that to you pretty boy

 

[Jariel]

From speaking to female friends and ex girlfriends, a lot of them say they give their number out because A) they're caught in the moment or B) they have difficulty saying no face to face (esp if he's pushy). But afterwards, they realise it's not wise or safe to go out with a stranger or really don't know him well enough to take a chance. They also fear it might just be awkward, meeting one on one with someone they don't even know and back out for that reason. If you think about it from her perspective, this is perfectly understandable and very sensible behaviour.

One way around this is to take more time getting to know her during the pick up (a 10 minute pick up just won't do, which is why I've always had more success from picking up women I've spoken to before). Another way is to invite her and her friends out casually in a group: i.e. "I'm gonna be in x bar or Y club with some friends on Friday if you want to join us". Group dates are never great, but this will be your chance to build more trust and comfort before going on a more personal date. Alternatively, you might try inviting her for coffee during the day, but make sure it's casual.

Despite what idealists believe, the timing of your call will rarely influence her decision. It's a scary world for women and don't forget that. The best thing you can do is build trust and work on making it as comfortable as possible for her to see you again.

 

[flippinfreak]

Most likely she will go out with you in this situation.

Wrong again. When I call a girl for the first time, it's one-two sentences of small talk, then I ask her out....if she says yes, great, if she says no, oh well....

I don't call girls to bullsh!t. I have enough friends. I'll leave that to you pretty boy

I know Jariel is respected, so read his answer...

 

[True Realness]

Skip made a few valid point actually; flakes are more likely to occur if the proper rapport was not established in the intial approach. This is why leaving a lasting first impression on a pickup is imperative because she'll need a reason to even pick up the phone on your first call and even more reasons to carry a conversation with a stranger. If a guy made a quick # close, It probably won't be such a bad idea to to call back a little sooner so that she doesn't forget who you are (not neccessarily on the very next day but maybe the day after). Once she realizes who you are, she'll remember how short the interaction leading up to the # close was and should be more receptive to chatting just a bit.

 

[speedo_meme]

I know Jariel is respected, so read his answer...

......yet, you quoted my post. I'd say you read it. Being wrong is ok, IF you learn from it. Nonetheless....


David Deangelo says to always call the girl the next day, and most of his material is about cold approaches and picking up complete strangers with which you have no rapport whatsoever. I think it's a good idea, but even then you should keep the conversations short, ask her out, get your point across, "bam, done" as he says. If you have rapport with a girl, say, you met her through a friend, I think you should ALWAYS wait at least 3 days, after which the regular rules apply.

 

[flexion_]

The more interested she is in you the easier it will be to contact her.

 

[flippinfreak]

......yet, you quoted my post. I'd say you read it. Being wrong is ok, IF you learn from it. Nonetheless....


David Deangelo says to always call the girl the next day, and most of his material is about cold approaches and picking up complete strangers with which you have no rapport whatsoever. I think it's a good idea, but even then you should keep the conversations short, ask her out, get your point across, "bam, done" as he says. If you have rapport with a girl, say, you met her through a friend, I think you should ALWAYS wait at least 3 days, after which the regular rules apply.

I quoted you because your all about the git philosophy. Speed seduction, get her done fast, get her done dirty.

If David Deangelo is all about getting it done fast, why does he recommend gatting numbers, or even dating the girl? You go on the date, and have nothing but lines and expectations of instant rapport, than you are wrong. A girl will flake on you if she thinks there is nothing there... Jariel said establish rapport, so I said read his post.

 

[Wiesman44]

it can go either way guys, there's no point in arguing about this. Each girl is different.

 

[minda]

Can I clear anything up for you guys?

You guys are so funny.

I joined this site to learn more about men, not because I have trouble meeting men (I don't, they stop me in the street) but because I have to work with men, only men, every day, and I am still learning how men operate in a work environment.

You may ask me anything you want about women. I'm the kind of gall you guys would enjoy dating - I'm exceptionally cute, smart, funny, have a great bod, and, oh, I'm arrogant, but only on this website.

Anyway, I am confused. Women feel like men are always "playing" them, and I am starting to see why! Women can pick up on whether a guy has deliberated over whether to call them one day or three days later!! We have amazing intuition.

It is offputting to sit at the other end of the phone thinking to yourself that this guy, who is now asking you to invest an evening and your attention in him, took his sweet lazy time to get back to you. I would not go out with a guy who had waited three days to call. You should ask yourselves whether you'd actually want to be with a woman who is happy to sit around waiting for a guy to call three days later...she may not have that much self confidence!

On the other hand, a guy who calls the next day (not morning, we are talking late evening here) comes across as chivalrous and interested in you. If he calls while out with his buddies, even better - you get the impression that he currently doesn't have a serious girlfriend whom he is seeing that night. Guys, if a girl is rude to you simply because you have called too soon, she is obviously not a great person and she'd end up dumping you later anyway. You don't look desperate calling too soon, you look keen. If you are worried about looking desperate, get one (or two) of your female buddies to call you up while you are out on the hot date, just get off the phone quick.

Hope this helps!

 

[flippinfreak]

HA! Minda...

What a crock, you don't know what girls want! No girl knows what they want, they think a guy who calls the next day is needy and pushy!

Whenever I am in the dating mood, I've already got a date for the next day, if one of the women I date has enough intuition to know and respect that, than three days down the line, if she's home I open the conversation there, and begin to seduce. I wait three days before I set up a date... nothing else...

You are absolutely right about the first day though, I never knocked that. I'm just saying speed seduction is BS because it's used for all the wrong reasons and makes guys think 'funny'.

I call the day after to make sure I got a legit number, than I go out and do what I've already planned on doing...

 

[everywomanshero]

I never understood this waiting to call rule. Sometimes it works, I've called girls back 3 weeks later and made it work. However, I've also called girls when I got a chance (within) a day or two and gotten good results, so why wait if it seems to make no difference in your conversion ratio? This is one of those silly things that some tool like Doc Love must have started.

I don't remember if I've tried calling when out with friends, I'm sure I have as a matter of course but I'll track that for a couple of weeks and see if it seems to make any difference if I can rememberto.

 

[minda]

Flippinfreak, I tell you exactly what I want, as a woman, and then you tell me that I don't know what I want, and decide to tell me what it is that I DO want? Wait, who's the woman here?

I know what I want and it isn't you sweetiepie, you're a player.

 

[flippinfreak]

Maybe you can explain to me what a player is Minda... most guys on this site contradict themselves...

Why is a player unwanted by you?

How do I make you happy?

 

[skip2mylou781]

minda your right!


In my experiences, I can get away with not calling a girl for 3 days if we had a REALLY good nite 1st time we met (im talkin bout 2 hours of convo, and 1 hour of "other" , but seriously, if a girl KNOWS im interested and i kno SHES interested, then there is no point to play a game and wait on purpose, just call her up and confidently say "wassup baby hows life? we r chillin again SOON...i like to give a girl wat she wants ".....thats not desperate, thats just a ****in turn on to any girl, and ive done it b4 many times in different variations, always callin the girl the next day. I also called girls whos # i got withint 5 minutes the next day and THATS when it works best,,,,i been flaked on wayyy too much ever since tryin to apply these call waiting rules (just to see if they work) and its stupid, i aint doin it....


ITS BETTER TO CALL IN 1 DAY AND SAY UR BUSY THE NEXT 4 DAYS THAN TO CALL IN 4 DAYS AND SAY UR FREE

 

[everywomanshero]

The call rules were created by nerds who don't get laid or guys who could've gotten laid calling whenever and just had this superstition, no one will ever be sure which. I am reasonably certain it is BS, though. I "break the rules" all the time and no negative consequences ensue. I have tried these things before.

Honestly, it didn't really make that much of a difference. I personally feel timebridging is the best thing to do, but I often don't bother. If I'm not that interested, I just take a number in my phonebook and call it when I can get around to it. Sometimes I forget who I called back and who I haven't. If I can't remember any details at all by the time I get around to calling, I just shoot out a default txt msg rather than get trapped on the phone.

One thing I about timebridging is I don't like making commitments in case something else comes up. This causes me to flake alot but I've found I can usually reschedule them. No treally a problem at all. My golden rule is if something comes up with an existing connection that I know is about to fade away or I am on the verge of laying, I always flake on the timebridged girl, so i can practice my sexual technique. If I were a real player, I'd schedule both and try to tag em/3sumethem/or have a backup in case on flaked Maybe one day I'll start doing that more! I've closed enough women that I am satisfied with 3-4 new ones per month now.

 

[jigga23]

I dont know it could go either way I guess. I had/have this girl jock my nu*s like crazy. I was acting really ****y and stuff to her everytime i was around. then one time she came up to me and we talked kissed etc. shes like heres my phone number and i want yours but you gotta call me first its the mans job. so yea i call her 1 day later cause i was like fvck it i aint going to wait a week. she flakes. call her next weekend. nothing. so i say fvck it. then she calls. weve hung out couldve boned but i couldnt cause of the liquor demons didnt even attempt. but now ive contacted her twice last week just to show im interested. now im not going to call her this weekened. if she calls or she doesnt i know either way. But overall i might have called her too early.

 

[Marlimus]

Whilst a HB may be picked up a few times and get lots of attention from other men, you're the only one who's given it 3 days to a week to phone her back. This shows that you have a life and possibly other women.

Almost every guy and his dog waits three days. Calling the very next day might be too soon, but don't just cite scripture blindly.

 

[everywomanshero]

Women flake all the time on the average guy. However, I don't think it's often related to when he has chosen to call. Some things can help a brotha get a callback (see Craigs MSG) and other things can increase the odds of her answering (when she is called), but ultimately if she flakes there is probably a reason for this beyond the choice of calling the next Monday or on Wendesday.

You have to go back to the secudction sequence and figure out what went wrong. Thats also why it's best to get a lot of #s, so you can find patterns. If you see a pattern, then you change it. Now, go out and get 12 new #s. DId it solve the problem? NO? OK now you have to form a new hypothesis and take another stab at it.