This is what happens to me when a woman doesn't answer.

[T|CK]

When I call a woman and she doesn't answer, I become very insecure. Help me correct this issue. Tell me what is the best way to change. I've had this happen just now, and I felt many feelings and thought many thoughts.

My thoughts after my call goes unanswered:

1. I think she doesn't want to talk to me.
2. I think bad thoughts about myself.
3. I think she doesn't like me.

What feelings these thoughts trigger:

1. Panic - I worry, and have a desire to call again until she answers. I know this is something I shouldn't do, and nothing turns a woman off quicker, but I get the urge to do it. I would love to know how to keep myself from paniciin.
2. Anger - I would become angery and wonder why she didn't want to answer. I would question myself, asking if there is something wrong with me.
3. Worthlessness - I feel unwanted.

It's sad that I feel this way when a woman doesn't answer my phone call. I wish there was something I could do to divert these feelings.

I know the less I care, the more she will probably care. That's usually how it works.

This time I got busy doing something else, and she did call. I talked for a little bit and let her go, but I want to get rid of these God awful feelings that I have. These feelings and thoughts are the same feelings that have run off every woman I've ever dated, and I HAVE to change.

 

[cockerdumbnuts]

yo bro,
I use to feel the same way. You just have to think that she's busy doing something else and it has nothing to do with you, which in reality it doesn't. Either she wants to talk with you and she'll get back to you, or she doesn't. If she doesn't then you're just wasting your time.

What also helps is having other girls to call.

 

[T|CK]

Another question is this... I've noticed that when I don't call a girl even though I told her I would, she will become more interested in me. Why the hell is that?

It seems like she would have a reason to be mad at me or not like me, but instead she starts liking me more. It's happened on many occasions.

 

[Single_Sucks]

to a degree it is natural to have feelings like this in the face of rejection, so don't kick yourself too much.

What matter is how you respond to the feelings. If you get bullsh1t then NEXT her straight away, she can get back to YOU.

 

[Warrior74]

You have to realise that she has a life just as you do. You do have a life right? Right? No? Start getting one ASAP. If she is interested, leave a message and she will call back. You can't let your self worth depend on if she anwsers or not. You have to value yourself more than that. If she never calls, too bad, her loss. She never got to see what a great cool guy you really are. She gave herself the next and lost a great opportunity. Don't put so much stock in one girl and one phone call.

Also immediately after, call a friend to just chat. I used to buffer my calls to girls between calls to friends....takes off the pressure and you know you'll talk to a friendly voice at some point, so no worries.

 

[CFERD]

My guess would be that because she expects a guy to call when he says he will her ego takes a hit when he doesn't call. Suddenly her mind starts racing wonder why she didn't get the call she was expecting. There is the mystery that is so often mentioned. While she is considering you a jerk for not calling, she is also questioning your interest level, and the possibility that she is being rejected. Her emotional rollercoaster gets going faster now that the drama has started......Men are stereotyped as being afraid of rejection and having fragile egos, I think women are more impacted by rejection and their egos are in constant need of validation.

 

[Metaphysical]

Of course. This is the way human brains work. It works the same way for women. When you pull back, they panic and feel unworthy of you.

If you do not learn to control yourself, you will never get out of this negativity.

 

[Jitterbug]

When I call a woman and she doesn't answer, I become very insecure. Help me correct this issue. Tell me what is the best way to change.

This won't happen if you raise their interest level high enough before you get their numbers. To put it another way, don't bother getting numbers unless you detect sufficiently high interest level.

When I call a girl with a high IL, she always picks up the phone. If she isn't there, she will call me back asap.

While you're working on detecting high IL, just get more numbers. Plan something on a certain date and call 5+ girls to ask them out. If one doesn't pick up, BFD, move on to the next.

 

[Jeffst1980]

The way to conquer this is simple: Don't make women the focus of your life.

Start living a life of ABUNDANCE. Plan your weeks so that you're too busy to even HAVE a woman. Take classes, learn new skills, get in shape, go out to social events--stop coasting through life and start wringing every drop from it. When you do this, you will notice that rejection doesn't bother you nearly as much--this is because you are establishing strong inner game without realizing it.

When you meet girls, get in the habit of planning an activity with them during your first encounter, no matter how mundane. Tell her you want to take her shopping with you to pick out a present for your niece---anything will work. The point is to take the pressure of the first phone call. Also, don't just get one phone # and be done--get a TON of phone #s.

Be prepared that EVERYONE gets flaked on. What separates the guys that get lots of women from the guys that get none is the ability to reframe rejection.

There is a psychological trick where you consciously replace negative thoughts with positive ones. At first, it feels like you're trying to fool yourself, but over time, you will find that you begin to do it NATURALLY. It truly is amazing how much conscious control we have over our minds.

In your case, every time you start feeling rejected, stop feeling bad for yourself and start feeling bad for HER. After all, SHE'S the one that is missing out on hanging with this awesome guy with such an abundant life and, like most women, will most likely have to settle for an AFC in the end.

She's not really rejecting YOU, because you're not even sold on her yet. We don't offer ourselves to women, we offer them OPPORTUNITIES. When a woman doesn't call back, she forfeits her opportunity.

As you think, you shall become, so think wisely...

 

[T|CK]

This won't happen if you raise their interest level high enough before you get their numbers. To put it another way, don't bother getting numbers unless you detect sufficiently high interest level.

When I call a girl with a high IL, she always picks up the phone. If she isn't there, she will call me back asap.

While you're working on detecting high IL, just get more numbers. Plan something on a certain date and call 5+ girls to ask them out. If one doesn't pick up, BFD, move on to the next.

This is a girl I've been banging for about 3 weeks now. Also, she came to me.

 

[Rhoto]

This is a girl I've been banging for about 3 weeks now. Also, she came to me.

3 Weeks are you're an emotional wreck? What the fvck dude?

Are you a man? Really are you? This is COMPLETE nonsense.

What is stopping you from going out tonight and getting laid? Lack of game? Become more interesting, and less pathetic.

 

[T|CK]

3 Weeks are you're an emotional wreck? What the fvck dude?

Are you a man? Really are you? This is COMPLETE nonsense.

What is stopping you from going out tonight and getting laid? Lack of game? Become more interesting, and less pathetic.

Did I say I was in love? NO!

This **** happens with every single chick I become interested in, and I'm fvcking simply asking for help to change it. Not to be talked to like I'm nobody. Talking down to me won't help me at all or anyone else for that matter.

 

[Rhoto]

Did I say I was in love? NO!

This **** happens with every single chick I become interested in, and I'm fvcking simply asking for help to change it. Not to be talked to like I'm nobody. Talking down to me won't help me at all or anyone else for that matter.

How many chicks do you get for them to fvck you up this much? Many?

Help?

Click the link in the sig.

 

[Mr. Me]

Tick, it's insightful of you to know what you think and feel when your calls go unreturned; it's a good first step in changing things for you.

What you're describing are your self-esteem issues.

Let me give you a key in turning this around for yourself, okay?

The thing about this:

My thoughts after my call goes unanswered:

1. I think she doesn't want to talk to me.
2. I think bad thoughts about myself.
3. I think she doesn't like me.

Is that YOU are doing these things to YOURSELF. A girl not answering your call merely triggers YOU into doing it.

So you're permitting a source outside of yourself and over which you have no control, to have control over YOU.

But only YOU have control over YOU. You can't let other people's whims dictate how you feel about yourself. Not if you want to enjoy your little time here on earth.

Then, FEELINGS follow THOUGHTS. Think the negative thought and soon enough, the negative emotions come.

And it hits hard because you FEEL the emotions. That's why they're called FEELINGS. Duh.

And because you're FEELING it, and you have a basis founded in fact of why you feel that way (she didn't return my call) you then make the mistake of thinking this must be REAL.

When the reality is, FEELINGS aren't FACTS.

That's why feelings can change, but facts stay consistent.

Do you see how you can now deconstruct your negative reactions?

If the gal doesn't return the call, this is not a valuation of you, this says something about her.

Even if she doesn't return the call because she's not interested in you, that's her stuff, not yours.

Bottom line is, when you sense your trigger being set off, run through this process mentally right away: identify the trigger, understand that's why you're having the negative thought, and knowing that dwelling on this will bring the negative feelings, make the healthy decision to change your thoughts immediately to something else, something positive. You can't control what other people do anyway.

This is a girl I've been banging for about 3 weeks now. Also, she came to me.

Lots of guys hold onto other peoples' previous patterns as if they can never change. She may no longer be interested. Who knows?

I've noticed that when I don't call a girl even though I told her I would, she will become more interested in me. Why the hell is that?

Lots of reasons, but more importantly, what are you going to do forward going with that insightful observation of human behavior, hmmmm?