This is weird, Now I can't even make girls friend platonically.

Plank

Don Juan
Joined
May 4, 2021
Messages
29
Reaction score
21
This is the first time I am experiencing this. I have been a dork through school and since I was a late bloomer, I got into the game later. In school I could easily make girls friend but romantically I could not progress.

Fast forward now a days, The only chicks I could make friends with are the one that are dating someone else. When I start talking to single girls for a few days, I seems they get more attracted to me, and even If I try to be friends with them they kind of feel an offense why I am not progressing things with them (It's because cause I'm not interested in them.)

This has happened to me multiple time, and even on Instagram, I connect with girls, and just have casual convo and share some reels. After a few weeks they unfollow me and we stop talking. I do not know If this is something right. or it's just my vanity.

what do you guys think?
 

Igetit!

Moderator
Joined
Jul 13, 2008
Messages
2,873
Reaction score
908
Location
The United State of Texas
Fast forward now a days, The only chicks I could make friends with are the one that are dating someone else.
Umm.......why would you even want to make friends with women in the first place? I mean if it happens,it happens.....but you seem to have it as some sort of goal.

When I start talking to single girls for a few days, I seems they get more attracted to me, and even If I try to be friends with them they kind of feel an offense why I am not progressing things with them
That's because they feel REJECTED by you. A woman is displaying SEXUAL interest in you,but you're responding back with FRIENDSHIP.

How well do you like it when you ask a woman out,ask for her number,or display SEXUAL interest towards her in some other way,only for her to NOT show interest back?

You said when you start speaking to them,they seem to get MORE ATTRACTED to you.......only to have that attraction NOT be reciprocated. So she doesn't feel attractive,wanted,or desired by a man she's attracted to,wants,and desires.

And you scratch your head as to why these women seem to take offense?

(It's because cause I'm not interested in them.)
Umm.....yeah. They sense that. It likely also confuses them,cause women aren't used to men coming up to them...... talking to them and starting conversations because the guy wants to be their friend. They're used to guys talking to them out of sexual interest.....not for friendship.


This has happened to me multiple time, and even on Instagram, I connect with girls, and just have casual convo and share some reels. After a few weeks they unfollow me and we stop talking. I do not know If this is something right. or it's just my vanity.

what do you guys think?
You're trying to do something STRANGE to 99% of women. They're not used to guys doing approaches to be THEIR friends. That's WEIRD.

Women are used to being friends with OTHER women.....and men friends with OTHER men. Guys don't typically go up to girls seeking friendship......and girls don't go up to guys to find new friends either. That may have happened in school.......cause you're around the same people day after day....for years.....so friendships with the opposite sex aren't as uncommon there,but once you're an adult and out in the world.....men and women don't go to bars,gyms,dancing classes,supermarkets,and/or other places seeking friendships with the opposite sex. They seek out romantic/sexual relationships in their encounters.
 

kavi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 2, 2022
Messages
764
Reaction score
649
Age
40
Yes this has happened to me recently.

The reason is when you are happy with friendship you are depriving the woman of power over you, because as a friend she cannot have sexual or romantic power over you, so its boring for her, cos you are not chasing her and now you have friendzoned her.

Back in the old days women loved to friendzone guys. Nowadays they wont let you be friends cos they in that 'frame' you do not need more and hence she has no power over you. Back in the day men hated being friendzoned cos it was seen culturally as a loss, but men dont care anymore and so women no longer see friendzoning as a form of power, and they just wont allow interaction unless there is romantic 'tension'.
 

kavi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 2, 2022
Messages
764
Reaction score
649
Age
40
This behaviour from women is very irresponsible and immoral. In the modern world, we are moving towards more community-oriented rather than tradional culture. In the community-focused system, men and women will need to socialise and be friends, cos there are many benefits to this, and friendship can definitely lead to romantic connections in the future. So women will need to be respectful and interact with men without drama.

The reason women are not being friends is, in the current environment, women see all forms of socialising and interaction with men as some kind of power negotiation. A women will simply not be cool with a guy unless she can have him in the frame that he is lucky to talk to her, and that she is above him. But for a society to be functioning correctly, esp a modern non-traditional one like where we are going, men and women do need to interact in non-romantic ways.
 

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
4,696
Reaction score
7,734
Location
USA, Louisiana
When a woman meets a man she immediately puts him in one of two categories: Useful or Not Useful.

Now here is the twist... useful can be anything... fvck boy useful... male friend that can fix sh1t... dude you call when another dude won't go away... dude that provides comfort.... dude that provides resources. Really any basic human need.

If you don't go along with what they want... they shut you down. If she sees you as a sex toy... and you just want to be friends... you are done. If you want sex and romance and she sees you as a friend... you are done.
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
4,261
Reaction score
4,762
Age
44
This is the first time I am experiencing this. I have been a dork through school and since I was a late bloomer, I got into the game later. In school I could easily make girls friend but romantically I could not progress.

Fast forward now a days, The only chicks I could make friends with are the one that are dating someone else. When I start talking to single girls for a few days, I seems they get more attracted to me, and even If I try to be friends with them they kind of feel an offense why I am not progressing things with them (It's because cause I'm not interested in them.)

This has happened to me multiple time, and even on Instagram, I connect with girls, and just have casual convo and share some reels. After a few weeks they unfollow me and we stop talking. I do not know If this is something right. or it's just my vanity.

what do you guys think?
Women get pissed off and resentful when they don't get what they want. I've had many experiences when I couldn't bang a girl on the day she wanted to do it and after that she wouldn't even talk to me.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,304
Reaction score
11,275
When a woman meets a man she immediately puts him in one of two categories: Useful or Not Useful.

Now here is the twist... useful can be anything... fvck boy useful... male friend that can fix sh1t... dude you call when another dude won't go away... dude that provides comfort.... dude that provides resources. Really any basic human need.

If you don't go along with what they want... they shut you down. If she sees you as a sex toy... and you just want to be friends... you are done. If you want sex and romance and she sees you as a friend... you are done.
I believe I have been categorized as "Not Useful" many times. I do not partake in platonic friendships with women who I find attractive. I think women perceive this and if they don't want to date me, they deem me "Not Useful" and ghost/flake. This would explain many of my "one date, no sex, no second date" type interactions. Most of those "one date, no sex, no second date" interactions occurred on dates arranged from swipe apps.

Over the years, I've had some odd interactions from approaching strangers that I can't explain. One instance involved me (photos rated online as a high 6/low 7 range) getting a number from a woman I deemed as a 5.5. This 5.5 woman agreed to go on a date, then flaked over text prior to the date. Another interaction involved a woman at fitness class who I deemed around an 8 agreeing to a date, giving me her number, and then not acknowledging a text I sent. In each of those cases, maybe both women deemed that they could find better first dates.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,304
Reaction score
11,275
Umm.......why would you even want to make friends with women in the first place? I mean if it happens,it happens.....but you seem to have it as some sort of goal.
Female friends can be useful. I've never really had them so I can't comment. Sometimes, a female friend can provide an introduction to someone who you end up dating for a while.

There's one thing from my life that I find strange. Since living in my current city for the past 10+ years, I have had male friends with girlfriends and later wives. I'm on reasonably good terms with them even if I might not like them. Anyway, not one of these girlfriends/wives has ever introduced me to a woman and it resulted in even one date. Zero viable introductions.

You're trying to do something STRANGE to 99% of women. They're not used to guys doing approaches to be THEIR friends. That's WEIRD.
I agree that it is weird.

Women are used to being friends with OTHER women.....and men friends with OTHER men. Guys don't typically go up to girls seeking friendship......and girls don't go up to guys to find new friends either. That may have happened in school.......cause you're around the same people day after day....for years.....so friendships with the opposite sex aren't as uncommon there,but once you're an adult and out in the world.....men and women don't go to bars,gyms,dancing classes,supermarkets,and/or other places seeking friendships with the opposite sex. They seek out romantic/sexual relationships in their encounters.
I agree that a lot of male-female friendships are a result of the school years. Primarily, they are a result of the K-8 years, much of which occur prior to puberty. It's possible to go to the same schools with girls from K-8 or even K-12 and have them as friends. If this happens and both you and her stay in the same geographic area as adults, this can be the basis of a friendship. What I just described is a how a lot of beta males get girlfriends. They have a female friend that extends 10-20 years (or more) who introduces them to some woman who would have never given him a chance on a swipe app or from a stranger approach.
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
4,261
Reaction score
4,762
Age
44
I'd say that not having lots of platonic friendships with women is an improvement over the previous situation. It's good to have friends, but it's not good to be friends with lots of pretty women because those women are just using you and/or wasting your time and you're deluding yourself if you think otherwise.

You can still have friends - but they should be men and fat, old or ugly women. Women you're attracted to should either get with the program or get lost.
 

Bokanovsky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 7, 2012
Messages
4,827
Reaction score
4,503
When a woman meets a man she immediately puts him in one of two categories: Useful or Not Useful.
Exactly. A woman will only want to be "friends" with a guy that she can somehow take advantage of. If you're not sending the sucker vibe, she will have no interest in being friends.
 

Stanley

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 6, 2022
Messages
1,119
Reaction score
1,325
I don't see a problem here. Why are you actively trying to befriend women? Every girl that has ever been 'friends' with me later only wanted to get with me when things didn't pan out with their relationship or the moment was right. Why do you want female friends? The only girls I am friends with would be my buddies gf's when we go out and the occasional childhood friend here and there.

Most girls that want you as a friend want something out of you. Attention, money, shoulder to cry on and in some cases a backup or hookup. I think it's good to have a few girl 'friends' you keep at arms distance since some of them will introduce you to other women and bolster your social circle.

This has happened to me multiple time, and even on Instagram, I connect with girls, and just have casual convo and share some reels. After a few weeks they unfollow me and we stop talking. I do not know If this is something right. or it's just my vanity.
Why you hitting up girls online?
 

FlexpertHamilton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
2,715
Reaction score
3,142
Location
US
Not sure, but if anyone else can chime in please do, because I've been trying to get female friends for a while now and it's literally impossible unless they're fat but then they still end up wanting to fvck anyway so I end up having to end it.

Women can be good to have as friends because they can wing you and raise your SMV when you're out with them, or hook you up with their female friends. Plus you can ask them about relationships you're in and get advice. Plus, just being around women all the time can make you learn to stop being thirsty and be more experienced with them in general.
 
Top