This is unchartered territory for me; LTR asked me for a two-week break

[Shivastorm_88]

We have been dating for nine months or so. Things have always been great between us, apart the fact that we fight a lot due to us two being very opinionated and hard-headed, but we would always make-up real quick. She said she needed the break because she needed time as she still had some issues from her previous break-up (it was pretty brutal) and she didn't find it fair to impose them on me.

The thing is, I was aware that she had had a rough break-up, and I was aware that we jumped into a relationship too early after her break-up (it was only after 1.5 months, and she had been with the guy for 2.5 years), but I had ignored those red flags -_- At first, because I wasn't expecting anything serious from her, simply going with the flow and thinking "if things get more serious and she hasn't resolved her issues, I will end this", but obviously that didn't happen as we grew on each other quite fast.

In the end of our talk, I:

Showed her that I was understanding and that I'd give her the two weeks she asked for, but I also told her she cannot expect much more time from me as it will not happen.

Deleted her off Facebook, told her I wouldn't contact her for those two weeks, and we set up a date (in two Sundays) when we would sit down together and talk

Made her clear that if things do not work out, I walk away from her life without any hesitation (and she knows me capable of this, she knows I have done that with previous girls)

And we didn't leave each other giving the cold shoulder, she was basically bawling in my arms before I told her I was going to go, and see her in two weeks (I made sure to be the one saying: "that's enough, I am leaving now").

Now, I need to know, and please, no misogynist posters who will jump on the occasion to tear a new ******* to women, I want serious, mature replies from people who have been in a similar situation. How would you have reacted, what more would you have done, what would you have done differently, and most importantly, what do I do next?


Edit: I think I slipped when I told her, after going to the bathroom, that I punched a hole in the wall as I was upset and felt like I had to blow off some steam?

 

[Married Buried]

Whenever they ask for a break, it means the relationship is over. A "break" means she is going to mess around with other guys she is interested in. You should dump her for this. If you don't, she will dump you first. She already did dump you basically.

Go completely no contact. Each contact you make will turn her off more. Don't even think about going back to her after the 2 weeks is up. I would have told her "how about a permanent break?" and walked away.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Yeah man I'm not a whole lot experienced in this sort of thing.

Perhaps you could wait out the 2 weeks and see what happens.

But know after this sh1t probably won't be the same.

 

[papawapa]

Beat her to the punch and flake on this "date" you have set up in two weeks. Dont contact her for the next two weeks. On the morning of the date send her a text..."Sorry but something came up and I cant get together today." Ignore her all of Sunday and if she is still chasing on Monday then engage her.

 

[narcissist]

I agree with Malice.

Just go No Contact from here on out.

In fact when the two weeks is up do not contact her or try to initiate any form of communication. You should just have the mind state that this relationship is over.

If BY CHANCE the relationship is not over and she really does want you back AND she did not sleep around on this break (which I believe she probably will) go an extra week or two no contact if you MUST get back with her.

To me personally, she is showing us that she is not really interested in you anymore. No girl who is interested in someone asks to go on a break.

Realistically she probably is in contact with her ex of 2.5 years and is getting railed by him right now, and seeing which one she likes more.

If it was me, I would not settle for a girl who is keeping me on the back burner so she can find out if she has potential with either her ex or some new guy. That shows major lack of respect.

Sorry to say it man, but cut your loses and move on.

Start sleeping with other women.

And if BY CHANCE she really does want to get back with you, do it on these conditions and only these conditions.

1. You can sleep with other girls
2. She cannot sleep with other guys

And DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT initiate contact for at least 3.5 weeks.

In fact I wouldn't initiate contact at all. And if she does contact you at the two week mark, wait it out. Let her grovel.

Personally I doubt she'll contact you, and if she does it will be to end things. Otherwise she'll contact you WAY sooner then 2 weeks if she wants to be with you.

Good luck man.

 

[Tomo]

It's only been 9 months between you and her so the 'honey moon' period must be drawing to a close. My sneaking suspicion is your gut instinct may have already told you how this will end but your brain and heart think otherwise. I concur with the drop her part. No girl who is interested in a guy will 'take a break'. Take a friend of mine - I was observing her relationship - she went on a long trip and mid way, took a 'break' from her boyfriend. It is easy to assume why and they'd been seeing each other for years! Don't get me wrong she is a great person but all girls are the same. Once they reach that point, there's simply no return.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Keep us updated OP.

 

[joker79]

I agree with narcissist, you're her backup. GTFO. And use papawapa message on the day of the date, if she doesn't chase you after, it's game over 100%. But be prepared.

 

[Married Buried]

She is shopping for another man. If she finds that she likes another c0ck more than yours in this 2 weeks, she won't come back. If she doesn't find someone better, she will come back. Do you really want her back after this? No, you don't.

 

[ProDJ26]

Sorry to say but you brought this all on yourself...you ignored the signs OP. When a woman wants a break that means she wants a break from YOU. I'd cut my losses And move on to tendency there's so many girls out there.

 

[Nostalgic.]

I was really expecting more from a "senior DJ", did you even read Pook's "you're a Prince" ?

For god's sake, YOU ARE THE PRIZE.

AND NO, YOU DON'T TELL A CHICK YOU WILL LEAVE HER. YOU JUST DO.

a man simply won't tell what he's going to do, he just does it.

NO CHICK WILL EVER ASK THE PRINCE FOR TIME TO BANG OTHER DUDE'S AND SEE IF SHE STILL WANTS THE PRINCE.

just go on no contact, and AFTER ONLY AFTER, she called you a thousand times and message you non stop. Give it a week and ask her if she wants to bang.

phuck her brains out, the best sex she's ever had, and forget her.

or keep her as a phuck buddy.


no turning back m8, there's no RS after this.

If you go back to her, you're basically telling her that it's okay for her to cheat on you.

Just read this and do it without hesitation:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=155594&highlight=dumped+guide

don't argue obey. Already tested it many times , trust me. It works, will drive her insane and she will be your toy to play with.

Now think about this,

and tread lightly.



PS: Yes, I went through this when I was younger and I took the easy way out. I wasn't aware of the red pill and was a beta. Didn't worked as I though and as you're hoping it will.

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

First, listen to the board's collective wisdom. They know of what they speak.

Second, ask yourself, "If a woman really thought of her man as 'high value', would she ever ask for a break? Would she ever do anything that might jeopardize her losing him?"

The answer to those questions tells you everything you need to know....

 

[trent_afc]

If you really like this chick, and aren't ready to walk away just yet, do what papawapa said. At least make her work for it.

 

[ludis]

She's either already ****ing another guy, or is planning to.

The """break""" puts you on hold in case the new option turns sour, or she gets buyers remorse for whatever reason, or she already knows the fresh stuff is just a fling. Plus, if you get all possesive about her during her distancing, she may/can use you for jealousy bait, in order to draw the new guy in harder.

Go ghost.

 

[Bible_Belt]

www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=126471

 

[VladPatton]

Things seldom go back straight when a girl says this, man. Almost a sure bet she's got her eye on another dude. Next time, agree on 'taking a break', and rephrase it for her by calling it a 'permanent break'. Listen to the guys here, they're not all crazy to say this chick should be pointed towards Dumpville.

 

[NewToTheGame]

The relationship is over. Finished. Kaput. Sayonara.

You could try to rationalize her behavior, try to analyze where you went wrong, and plot some scheme to get her back.

DON'T. There will be a time in the future to reflect on how this happened. But right now, its time to accept that its over. I mean, really accept it. No doubts, no lets see what happens in 2 weeks, no "maybe if I do this".

You need to accept the loss immediately and completely. Indulge in the sadness a bit if you must. Do not accept any communication from her, unless it is "come fvck me now", and you can do it without having feelings. If she comes back, *on her own*, and is willing to be your FB, with no strings attached, and you feel *no attachment whatsoever* then that would be ok. But I highly doubt that is the case here.

This is a really critical point. You can keep talking to her, prolonging this "relationship", your hopes, and ultimately your misery. Or you can accept the loss, shrug it off, and go meet other women.

You deserve a woman who is not going to up and take a two-week "break" out of nowhere. Repeat that in your mind until you believe it. And if you don't believe it, you need to identify what in your thought process or life is preventing you from doing so. Best of luck.

 

[foreverAFC]

i had a female friend back in the day, she fcked 6 different guys when her and her bf went on a one week "break"

that sucker still took her back though

 

[gravityeyelids]

like everyone has said, a "break" is an excuse for her to out and find better quality guys and sleep with them while she keeps you on hold until you mess up by begging for her back. Dont play into this. Usually they already have a guy in mind when they do this. She doesnt have the balls to break up with you directly. And just because she's upset and cries doesnt mean she's not going to go through with it.

 

[Don_Dom]

The balls on these broads never ceases to amaze. I would love to see the reactions we would get from women if guys, en masse, started proposing taking breaks. The first words out of their mouths would be "who is she?"

Guarantee she hopped on another dude's **** with hours of you agreeing to the break, if not sooner. They don't ask for these "breaks" because they have some nebulous general need for fresh air...they have another guy or guys lined up that they want to **** and don't want to cheat or the guy won't. Women HAVE to feel justified in everything they do so, instead of just telling you "I met somebody else, sorry" and dumping you, they pull this BS so they can have their cake and eat it too. This way, they get a free pass to **** and get to keep one foot in your door to come back in the event the new guy sucks. Or just blame the breakup on you because you don't handle the "break" in a "mature" way, wtf that means in a situation like this. Win win for them, especially since they know that it will probably take you most of the "break" to get your head around even looking for another woman, much less banging one.

Regardless, the entire concept of "taking a break" is complete BS and only modern western women could dream up something like this and, with a straight face, expect men to swallow this level of blatant disrespect. It plays entirely on the differences in how sexual dynamics work differenly for the sexes and the propensity of men towards wanting to cling to a belief that the women they love are noble and innocent creatures. While you are sorting all of this out and hoping and praying for the best during the break, not getting laid althewhile, she, by contrast, is riding **** like it's her job and has been from the moment go. What's more is she CONSPIRED to do this long before springing it on you. Just by proposing such a thing means exactly two things and the only two things you need to know about this human being: She has no respect for you because she thinks you are stupid and thinks she can manipulate you with it. And she is trash not worthy of another moment of your time or ounce of your consideration.

What you should do: Go no contact. When she contacts you give her one single response informing her that she can find any stuff she left at your place in a box on your front porch and she is free to pick it up for 48 hours, after which it is going in the trash. NC after that. Next.

Tough to do, I know but this will make it easier for you. You know that feeling you get in your head and gut when you think about her dropping this on you to **** some other guy? She did that to you! This woman you are worried about losing would rather have you feel that way so she can be with another guy than be with you. She's a sick, twisted, ***** who doesn't care about you. Focus on that.

Good luck. Let us know how it goes.