This is trouble...

[The Comeback Kid]

I think I mentioned her before, but in one of my classes, there is this attractive-but-pretentious chick. The first time I tried breaking the ice with her in class, she got a defensive and went on to disagree with anything I had to say. The next time, she was mumbling and looking away when we walked out of class together (I asked about what paper topic she was going to write about). So this episode is over, I can move on, she's not worth it...

...unfortunately, that wasn't the end. Starting the next week, she began unleashing the kitchen sink strategy. We didn't talk, but she was doing things to get in my eye sight. The first time, she tried and was unable to open the big lecture door as I was closing in (I made some C+F remark and opened the door). The next time, she timed herself to enter the room at the same time as me (she had been sitting down, I come along and she gets up). Both of these times, I get no reaction whatsoever from her. Interceptor went to town on saying I over-analyze too much, and he's right - I do. What happened today may change that thought just a little.

Today I made sure I wasn't going to fall into any of these "games" and I was in the clear! I felt good about myself. I walk out of class with an aquaintance of mine, we're walking into the beautiful weather...and BOOM! she comes up to us. :trouble: She asks if either of us bring a laptop to class, because she missed one of the classes and needed the outline. I know she knows I use mine in class, so I couldn't really say no. I told her I should be able to help out (since I don't want to be a prick). My aquaintance guy immedately runs away and this girl seems like she wants to keep pace with me, which means I gotta talk to this girl for a minute or two For w/e reason I was caught off-guard, I decided to quit while I was ahead (I bring up 1 or 2 things and if I get a good reaction, I call it quits), I also didn't want to appear TOO friendly since she normally doesn't talk much, if at all (remember those past times I had tried talking to her). I told her I had an advising appointment and I really had to get going (I really did, but I had more time than I implied). The only not-smooth thing was that the only way to go was straight ahead, so I made it as if I was on a time constraint.

So here's the deal. My policy with note-helping (in general, but especially with girls) is I will usually help once bcause I'm a decent person. However, if they come to me again asking for notes, I send them away. A girl trying to use her looks and charm only to draw notes from me is not something I like. Therefore, I want to get creative with this one. 1/2 of me wants me to illustrate my rule to her in a C+F way and end it at that. For some odd disturbing reason, the other 1/2 of me wants to go all-or-nothing and see if we can study together or something for the midterm coming up. :crazy:

What should I say to her (this would be via e-mail)? I'm going to be C+F regardless, but I want to have some fun with this one.

 

[PhatE1vis]

You're getting trapped inside your own head with this girl, which is hurting the natural flow that should exist between a man and a woman.

I want to ask you two questions. Really think about your answers:
1. Are you extremely attracted to this girl?
2. Does she intimidate you?

I'd bet anything that the answer is a resounding YES to both because of the level of overanalyzing of minutiae that you're doing here. No shame - it's happened to a lot of us.

Some painful truth: you think she's playing games with you, but I'd bet anything that she rarely thinks of you. And if she does think about you, it's probably because you're acting so goofy around her.

I'd personally call this a lost cause. But if you do e-mail her about the notes, keep it short and straightforward. Something like "hey, I've got the notes - let's meet at (some place on campus) and I'll give them to you." Then when you meet, suggest an instant date like grabbing a cup of coffee or something. Don't try to be funny in this e-mail - it's NOT going to work because you have ZERO rapport with her right now and the written word is so easily misinterpreted.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

I'm definitely not intimidated by her, I can tell you that. In high school, I'd be intimidated - not now. As I may have mentioned, I find this all amusing because we're opposites in the class. She usually doesn't talk to anyone while I think I'm Jerry Seinfeld (this is during discussion; we have a lecture too).

As for the attracted part: she's attractive, yes, but I think some it is the name-behind-her-back I gave her - yes I know this sounds goofy. You see, I came up with a new stigma for girls like her. She's attractive, but the only reason I notice her is b/c of her looks. The nickname is catchy, so it's always in my head like a song.

You are correct about the over-analyzing and most likely so on the "games" part. However, I don't really do much involving her in most of the classes, so I'm not sure she thinks of me as some goofy oddball. I have another friend in the class, most of the time I'm just talking to him.

What you'd like me to say in the e-mail is good, but I would be sending these online. She uses her laptop and so do I, so that's how it's going to be. My idea was actually to set up a study group of sorts...I can get a couple other people to go along with it (atleast one person, maybe two).

My last thought: As you can tell, I am conflicted, moreso here than with a girl I would normally just ask out. Half of me wants to smash her head in b/c she is pretentious, the other half of me wants me to go all-or-nothing and get something going because she's more tolerable than other girls of this sort.

 

[StephenG7585]

if you're set on sending an e-mail, whatcha think about something like this

"blah blah blah i'm setting up a study group of sorts and I'VE DECIDED i'd save you a seat, you obviously need it - we're going to be at ______ at ____ P.M. bring some paper because (brace yourself) you're ACTUALLY GOING TO BE TAKING NOTES! perish the thought!"

maybe that's a little d*ckish, depending on how you can talk to this chick, but i've had success with tones like that with her type

 

[The Comeback Kid]

if you're set on sending an e-mail, whatcha think about something like this

"blah blah blah i'm setting up a study group of sorts and I'VE DECIDED i'd save you a seat, you obviously need it - we're going to be at ______ at ____ P.M. bring some paper because (brace yourself) you're ACTUALLY GOING TO BE TAKING NOTES! perish the thought!"

maybe that's a little d*ckish, depending on how you can talk to this chick, but i've had success with tones like that with her type

Well I actually HAVE to e-mail her. I'm leaving for home this weekend, and I normally wouldn't even see her until the midterm.

Your wording is pretty good actually. As I said, I walk around acting like I do stand-up in discussion , so she'll probably know I'm cracking C+F jokes here. I don't think it's that d*ckish...she's a bit of a b!tch and I blew her in the dust today when I had my "adivising appointment." It goes both ways. I'm still resolving in my head if this is even worth it...it really is 50/50.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

I know this thread is a week old, but some funny things happened in the last day or two with this particular girl. :crackup: I don't think there's really much to do here, but I felt I'd share with you anyway.

The girl did accept my invite to the study session. I told her when and where it would be, she said that sounds good. Well...take a guess who didn't show up and blew the whole thing off. That would be her. I don't have her number, so I didn't call or anything like that.

Today was the midterm for this class. We have to wait for an earlier class to get out. I'm talking to one of my friends in there, and when this girl walks into the building, we made eye contact. I could read her lips slightly and she was talking about something in regard to not being at this study thing the day before. She also started talking to the "nerdy-ish" guy who always talks in our discusson group (I didn't mean to sound egotistical there, but it's true)...she would not be "interested" in him by any means - trust me on that one, but they were both LOOKING DIRECTLY AT ME for a good part of their chat.

No idea why that would be, who cares (it was probably nothing, but my friend and I both noticed it). She's already been nexted, but lately I've been confronting anyone who's being disrespectful. I did not get a chance to see her during the class because of the test, so I played it off in an e-mail saying, "Too bad we didn't see you at our little "study group. Perhaps we should swap numbers, that way you can give me a head's up the next time you plan on flaking. "

Again, it's more comedic than anything else, but lately I've developed a mean streak...anyone who disrespects me will be hearing from me about it. It won't be a tirade by any means, but I'll let my discontent be known. She'll probably miss the point of what I wrote to her...she will believe I'm asking for her number, but I'm actually giving her a little sh*t for flaking. I don't want to show her the wrath until/unless she gives me a pretentious response - once a person gets baited in, I attack.