This is how it’s done fellas!

[biggoal]

Right on, this is great advice. I hope he listens to it. i meant he physically needs to get off the apps and computer and be out in public. He seems to lack social skills at all and that may lower his confidence. i suggested meet males, females, go to group events just to get more confidence. not to pick up chicks.

your advice applies to females as well. just because it’s easier for us to “get laid” doesn’t mean we have built in confidence. it truly does come from within. love your post!

Females if they're half way decent looking, like yourself for example don't need to have game like guys do. It's just the way it is.

Anyway, I was talking to a guy friend from the market in Ft. Myers about where to meet chicks at. He suggest going to some clubs down there with him that he goes to and meet chicks that way. Usually cost about $40 he spends. Granted these might be kind of slutty younger ones though but if they're halfway decent looking then what the hell, right?

 

[biggoal]

I took him off ignore. he seems harmless just clueless. I offered to help him by going out with him and being a sort of wing women. But i changed my mind and just can’t get involved. Everyone has different levels of self awareness and i hope he catches on.

Next time you go to one of those music things in Ft. Myers can I tag along with you? Please?

 

[ubercat]

@stormrider yeah the guy does seem a bit timid but I don't see anything wrong with a bit of a convivial chat up. And let's face it in the metoo era it's probably best to come down on the side of caution. Yes she got the ego strokes but he got a bit of practice. And be kind to ladies because in the famous words of Bill Burr the wall is coming and it hits hard. This lady has five years max before she becomes invisible. So you can't blame her for being in beta speed shopping mode.

 

[RangerMIke]

I never mix dating with business. It gets too complicated.

Hard to really say what this guy is all about. It could be he is just naturally flirty... I'm actually the same way. If a women is open to me and I'm interested I'll push for a date. But I've been dating for 30 plus years, and I can pretty much tell right away if a woman is attracted and available. It could be he sensed you were not open so he didn't try anything. But I wouldn't have been stealing glances or creepy @ss stuff like that, as soon as I get a sense a chick isn't interested I just turn it off.

Sometimes, when I turn it off, women will try a little harder because they like the attention, if this happens, then I just go into direct mode and try to make a date. That is the ONLY way to know if she is really interested or just wants some sexless attention. If she is interested she will say yes... if not that usually shuts things down pretty quick... after all she can get safe free attention and validation from any number of dudes out there so she can go elsewhere. Me... well now I am free to focus my attention on women that are really interested.

Or he could be a guy that likes to play it safe... in his line of work I'm sure he's come across women that will make the first move if the timing is right, and since it works for him sometimes, he just sticks with what he knows. If you were going to make something happen with him, you would have to make the first move... then you could get some free electrical work from him. Not saying you would, but I would be willing to bet he's done this before.

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

I never mix dating with business. It gets too complicated.

Hard to really say what this guy is all about. It could be he is just naturally flirty... I'm actually the same way. If a women is open to me and I'm interested I'll push for a date. But I've been dating for 30 plus years, and I can pretty much tell right away if a woman is attracted and available. It could be he sensed you were not open so he didn't try anything. But I wouldn't have been stealing glances or creepy @ss stuff like that, as soon as I get a sense a chick isn't interested I just turn it off.

Sometimes, when I turn it off, women will try a little harder because they like the attention, if this happens, then I just go into direct mode and try to make a date. That is the ONLY way to know if she is really interested or just wants some sexless attention. If she is interested she will say yes... if not that usually shuts things down pretty quick... after all she can get safe free attention and validation from any number of dudes out there so she can go elsewhere. Me... well now I am free to focus my attention on women that are really interested.

Or he could be a guy that likes to play it safe... in his line of work I'm sure he's come across women that will make the first move if the timing is right, and since it works for him sometimes, he just sticks with what he knows. If you were going to make something happen with him, you would have to make the first move... then you could get some free electrical work from him. Not saying you would, but I would be willing to bet he's done this before.

makes sense. physically i never make the first move. it’s just what i prefer. agree with your other points. thanks for all the feedback here, it was interesting to read.

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Next time you go to one of those music things in Ft. Myers can I tag along with you? Please?

No.

 

[redskinsfan92]

My personality is top notch. I am fun and smart etc. I don’t care about that. Seriously NO points for job?! I mean I won’t need to mooch, I have money for fun trips, weekends off and 25 paid days off. Doesn’t that count for anything?! I always thought it showed that I am dependable and motivated. Maybe I am projecting though because a mans career is important to me. Not that he makes a lot (that’s just a turn on) but that he has steady employment and has enough money so we can do fun things. I pay half but I will not pay for him. I am devastated with this news! Plus, I like my job and I need it to boost my HB status.

We literally do not care about a woman's job at all. Unless she is a stripper or something. That could outright disqualify her (for anything long term)

 

[redskinsfan92]

My personality is top notch. I am fun and smart etc. I don’t care about that. Seriously NO points for job?! I mean I won’t need to mooch, I have money for fun trips, weekends off and 25 paid days off. Doesn’t that count for anything?! I always thought it showed that I am dependable and motivated. Maybe I am projecting though because a mans career is important to me. Not that he makes a lot (that’s just a turn on) but that he has steady employment and has enough money so we can do fun things. I pay half but I will not pay for him. I am devastated with this news! Plus, I like my job and I need it to boost my HB status.

The good news is, we do care about personality. Especially for anything longterm.

 

[Atom Smasher]

"Just go out" is often the number 1 advice given to social retards in the manosphere/PUA seduction community.

To me, this is dangerous advice because of how guys are. If you give any guy a ladder system/hierarchy and tell him if he tries hard enough, he will reach the top and become king and all the spoils of victory (including women) will be bestowed upon him, he would be 100% committed to it.

It's built into every guy to seek to become great in something. However, seeking to become great at being a seducer is short sighted and a complete waste of a man's potential.

And I would argue it is a complete waste of a woman's potential as well.

A man should have a higher purpose and seek greatness in that. Play a higher stakes game where the reward is actual abundance like money and high status. Not a kid's game where the reward is flakey phone numbers from the clubs.

And a woman should seek internal validation so that when she sees this great man, she can recognize him. Game recognizes game. If she goes out and seeks validation, she wouldn't know her left from her right and a great man would pass right by her.

@stormrider , you're killin it in this thread. All your posts are so well articulated. Everyone should read them again.

I must observe, though, that these days, very few women are even remotely able to achieve internal validation. Three years ago I would have said that no woman is capable of this, but then I met my future fiance and I realized that she possessed a good degree of it. It's so horribly rare, and you are right, if they don't possess some degree of it, they cannot tell when they are in the presence of a great man.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Next time you go to one of those music things in Ft. Myers can I tag along with you? Please?

You know, I was going to defend you against a few members who are pretty much going over the line in what they're saying to you, because you seem like a very good-natured guy and you don't retaliate (although it would be understandable if you did). You also demonstrate that you are here to learn. All great things.

However, this statement is off the charts inappropriate on several levels. You should NEVER beg a woman, ever. Just as a matter of principle. This is demeaning to you.

Secondly, she has clearly said no, and you need to accept that. Please don't continue to pursue this with her on the forum, publicly or privately. I'm sure she got your hopes up before she changed her mind, and I get that, but this is the typical flakiness of women. They have great difficulty making decisions and even greater difficulty sticking with them once they're made.

She's a good egg and I understand why you would want to meet up, but she said no and as a man you need to accept that and mentally move on. Asking a woman, "Please [this or that]..." is incredibly weak and a complete turnoff to them.

Your a good guy, my dude, and I respect the fact that you're trying to figure this stuff out. You might do well to read the Book of Pook. Have you read that yet? It can be life-changing.

 

[biggoal]

You know, I was going to defend you against a few members who are pretty much going over the line in what they're saying to you, because you seem like a very good-natured guy and you don't retaliate (although it would be understandable if you did). You also demonstrate that you are here to learn. All great things.

However, this statement is off the charts inappropriate on several levels. You should NEVER beg a woman, ever. Just as a matter of principle. This is demeaning to you.

Secondly, she has clearly said no, and you need to accept that. Please don't continue to pursue this with her on the forum, publicly or privately. I'm sure she got your hopes up before she changed her mind, and I get that, but this is the typical flakiness of women. They have great difficulty making decisions and even greater difficulty sticking with them once they're made.

She's a good egg and I understand why you would want to meet up, but she said no and as a man you need to accept that and mentally move on. Asking a woman, "Please [this or that]..." is incredibly weak and a complete turnoff to them.

Your a good guy, my dude, and I respect the fact that you're trying to figure this stuff out. You might do well to read the Book of Pook. Have you read that yet? It can be life-changing.

And people want women in leadership roles when they can't make rational decisions. I see this in my retail business too. Even buying a simple phone case is a task for them while men will just pick one up and buy it.

 

[Spaz]

"Just go out" is often the number 1 advice given to social retards in the manosphere/PUA seduction community.

To me, this is dangerous advice because of how guys are. If you give any guy a ladder system/hierarchy and tell him if he tries hard enough, he will reach the top and become king and all the spoils of victory (including women) will be bestowed upon him, he would be 100% committed to it.

It's built into every guy to seek to become great in something. However, seeking to become great at being a seducer is short sighted and a complete waste of a man's potential.

And I would argue it is a complete waste of a woman's potential as well.

A man should have a higher purpose and seek greatness in that. Play a higher stakes game where the reward is actual abundance like money and high status. Not a kid's game where the reward is flakey phone numbers from the clubs.

And a woman should seek internal validation so that when she sees this great man, she can recognize him. Game recognizes game. If she goes out and seeks validation, she wouldn't know her left from her right and a great man would pass right by her.

A man needs to find his worth whilst a woman knows her worth.

 

[Trump]

A man should have a higher purpose and seek greatness in that. Play a higher stakes game where the reward is actual abundance like money and high status. Not a kid's game where the reward is flakey phone numbers from the clubs.

And a woman should seek internal validation so that when she sees this great man, she can recognize him. Game recognizes game. If she goes out and seeks validation, she wouldn't know her left from her right and a great man would pass right by her.

Good points. But I would argue the one point: “higher purpose and being great, playing the high stakes game, etc.” I think Spaz and I crossed over it in a previous thread.

By the time a man reaches the high status game and money and power and all that, all the younger hot women are gone. They have gone with the younger guys, the genetically blessed guys, the guys who were lucky to get them pregnant fast, the guys from rich families, etc.

That’s why I would advocate to get the girl fast, even if that means playing the numbers game, and then focus on being great. Even in your late 30s or 40s, you can always make more money and reach the high status game, but in your late 30s or 40s, you are going to have much more difficulty finding young hot girls than in your 20s who are fertile and want to get pregnant.

 

[Medina]

Absolutely zero. It amazes me that most women seem to think that men are impressed with what they do for a living. We could go our whole lives without even asking or caring. We pretty much ask out of politeness. It counts for nothing in our assessment of your value.

Women project so much on us men that they have an entirely distorted view of us. We are so vastly different that it's a wonder that we can even communicate at all. Your career is the last thing we would look at to determine your dependability and motivation. Our question is, "Are you going to be dependable for me within the context of our relationship? Are you motivated to be submissive to my leadership and to do whatever is necessary (and reasonable of course) to make things work?"

It amazes me that women try to impress men in ANY sense AT ALL

Mine looks for praise over the most mundane tasks like reversing the car into the garage or actually potting a pool ball that isnt the white one

 

[Focal core]

@stormrider , you're killin it in this thread. All your posts are so well articulated. Everyone should read them again.

I must observe, though, that these days, very few women are even remotely able to achieve internal validation. Three years ago I would have said that no woman is capable of this, but then I met my future fiance and I realized that she possessed a good degree of it. It's so horribly rare, and you are right, if they don't possess some degree of it, they cannot tell when they are in the presence of a great man.

He killed it in lots of thread mate.. His knowledge were absolute best, rare quality did man has today.

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Well played. You let him know he could contact you. Could lead to some great secs. He can bring his tools back over.

i thought it was a good interaction and still do and yes may lead to possible sex or him as plating each other. lol. but i get what everyone here is saying too that is wasn’t much “game” on his part.

still, as usual, it was a good discussion here and i learned quite a bit!

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Frugal and cheap are both fine, it’s theirs money. But if you’re going to attract me with your BMW and “hinting” how much you make, you bette take me to an expensive vegan restaurant once in a while! Are you serious?? Because a person bought a nice car they have an obligation to spend a lot of money on you? Don’t bait and switch. Even though women do this continuously? Honestly power and money are a fetish of mine. Maybe not for a real LTR but for a less serious relationship. I just am attracted to strong men with tough, dominate ( not overtly) personalities and they also tend to have money and garner respect and power.

But okay, my job isn’t helping me attract better men than. Booo.

[/QUOTE]

i think you misunderstood me. you probably aren’t one of these men. they purposefully usr their wealth to attract women. they know what they are doing and so do we. i don’t know what they are looking for because i can’t mind read but they seem to attract gold digger types or younger women. it’s all very obvious. if everyone is in the know it can be fun. some men “get off” by flaunting their wealth and spoiling women and making a big show of it. i couldn’t date long term these men, but it’s a fun phase once in a while as long as you know what it is. some men have money and don’t play this game. thats NOT who i am talking about here.

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Everyone miss the part were he asked if your single? IS GAME to some guys. You told him lets go out sometime. You have contact info. He didn't creep you out so I'd say he did ok.
Guy goes into girls house. Alone doing the repair and leaves with an option for possible secs. I know dudes that would royaly fck that up.

i still am impressed with him. he did many things right where he could have been creepy or just not even tried. that was the point of my thread. he was obviously nervous (and has a new GF) but seemed attracted to me and went for it. i was thinking of this forum as i was observing him. even at the end when he was leaving and hugged me i thought took some guts. afterall, i called him randomly for service so that was risky for him as a business owner but also as a man. yes i was being friendly and fun and open (it’s just how i am i wasn’t flirting at all) but he took it further. i liked and admired that and it made me think hmm this guy would be fun to date.”

i am impressed because men do mess this up all the time! yes! you are right. i get hit on quite a bit i have so many stories of what men did “wrong” in that they turned me off. i am pretty picky as well but i an also open to meeting people and new adventures. but i shut 98% of men down. so maybe only i know the context of this and me saying lets go out sometime is rare for me to say. ever.

i stand by my sentiments but maybe not my title. but i can’t edit it now. lol

 

[Epic Days]

A man needs to find his worth whilst a woman knows her worth.

Insightful. His whole life should be an upward progression. He can never rest.

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

I am well aware some men do this, and some women exploit it. I guess I just consider it very shallow on both parts.

I work VERY hard for my money, and make about double the average income in my country.

But I have learned some very hard lessons about woman, their loyalty and Briffault's Law and no longer spend a lot of money on women.

And if I buy a new vehicle, and they like it and think I have money? I STILL won't spend a lot of money on them. We are in the "age of equality" where each person should expect to contribute/pay their own way. I will pay for a first date, after that we can boith contribute to our ability.

If I make more, then I will contribute more to the "dating" costs. But I certainly won't pay all of it because I make more.

My internal mindset regarding dating/women is "If you went out with your GF for lunch, would you always expect her to pay? Of course not. So don't expect me to. My time has value, and I don't need to pay people to spend time with me"

correct, it IS shallow. it is also fun like one night stands and buying hookers. We don’t all go for serious, LTRs all the time or marriage. Many of us just have fun once in a while. This is what i meant. Personally i don’t like these type of men because they tend to be needy, insecure and they require a bunch of atrention which i don’t have time for. but i have dated them for a short time and damn its fun, trips and expensive cars and fun places. To each their own in their journey.

Again this does not apply to YOU. you are making it personal and you aren’t the kind of man i am describing. i understand its not something you do. and thats okay. You keep saying you wouldn’t stand for it. i get that, it’s not what you do. i am not saying i would ever try to make you that. stop taking it and applying it to you. everyone are adults and most of the time know what’s up. if i date a much older man with money as i describe (he uses his wealth to attract), he knows what i expect from him and conversely him from me (sex, dressing sexy in public, being shown off, treated like meat). I am very pro “to each their own as long as it’s consensual.”

it would like me getting all offended because you had a one night stand with a random girl (maybe she has a BF) just for sex. how dare you do that, it’s so shallow and you never called her again! “well *i* would never be a part of that and you shouldn’t either!” no, if you both were on the same page, both knew it was a one time thing for sex and fun, enjoy. who am i to interfere, condemn or judge you? Enjoy it, shallow is okay sometimes.