This is as real as sex talk gets with an attractive female.

[Masculinity]

To tell or not to tell, that is the question.

I have been in a relationship for two years with this girl. She's really nice and cute and I really like that in her. About a year ago, however, she brought up the fact that I have never called her sexy and how she wants me to call her that. I call her beautiful, cute and even pretty sometimes, but never, ever sexy. She is an hb9.

A few nights ago, she brought up the same subject. " I have been the cute and nice one all my life; I want to be sexy." "I don't care what others think of me, I just want YOU to find me sexy"she said. Now, I know I'm in control and have her by the vag with this one, but the question is should I tell her, not tell her or tell her once in a blue moon?

The reason why she's getting self-concious is because of a medication that will make her lose weight. She asked me if that would affect us and I said "as long as you keep it under control I won't dump you." I'm worried though, that if I tell her then she'll get what she wants and the IL would decrease. On the other hand, knowing the female mind, she could also get enough of it and give in to some guy who tells her she's sexy. Maybe I should find a balance and tell her only during sex?

She sent me a text message today saying:
Her: I wish we were one of those couples who sends texts in the morning saying "Good morning handsome : )" "Good morning beautiful ;]"
Me:"Im not the guy who floods a girl with compliments. You can go find one if you want a guy who is like that and tells you you're sexy, then take him home & thank him, though. (I know I'm an a-hole)
If we said those things every day, they would lose their meaning.
Her: In those pictures you have naked of me and s*cking your (woohoo) do you think I'm sexy or just cute?
Me: Hah, if you don't think when I tell you how hard you make me is because you arouse me, you're slow.
Her: Well I don't feel sexy enough for you to begin with and that's why I don't dance for you or like being on top. I wish you found me sexy because when you hangout with your pretty girl friends I ask myself if you find them sexy. I get scared that you will find them sexier than you find me. : (

When we first started seeing each other she mentioned: I love how you don't flood me with compliments like other guys I've dated because it makes it so meaningful when you do say something. Also, when we started seeing each other, she said she lost interest in me because I showed interest in her and told her I missed her making her feel like she had me in her hands. This girl loves me and she's told me many times she wants to spend her life with me, have my child and live with me. I love her back, but respond with the following: you aren't getting me married, ever. I love you and I want to be with you and maybe if we're still together we can talk about housing and a child in 10 years, but not now. I feel I have handled the problem well thus far;however, more heads think better than one.

I'm undecided on what to do. Have no mercy in your constructive criticism!

 

[SandHawk]

Why not turn this a bit around and have her act more sexy in the first place? I mean, get her to dress up in hot lingerie, get her to do vile acts.

Reward her dirty acts by telling her she is sexy. Have her work for the compliments she craves. I would take advantage of this and live out my sexual fantasies. Then again, I normally don't have to tell them that, they'll get dirty anyway.

 

[Ease]

Me:"Im not the guy who floods a girl with compliments. You can go find one if you want a guy who is like that and tells you you're sexy, then take him home & thank him, though. (I know I'm an a-hole)
If we said those things every day, they would lose their meaning.

This is too much explanation.

If you tell her this, then it loses its meaning. She knows you're holding back on purpose, as opposed to it being genuine.

Whenever she tests your game, be vague. If you're unsure of what to say, say nothing. As for her requests, dont change anything. If you try to respond to everything she says and wants, you will die a painful death.

 

[Masculinity]

Why not turn this a bit around and have her act more sexy in the first place? I mean, get her to dress up in hot lingerie, get her to do vile acts.

Reward her dirty acts by telling her she is sexy. Have her work for the compliments she craves. I would take advantage of this and live out my sexual fantasies. Then again, I normally don't have to tell them that, they'll get dirty anyway.

This has crossed my mind before SandHawk.:yes:

I convinced her of a 3sum about 6 months ago, but I cancelled it. She said with a worried & sad face " I don't want you F*cking another girl, especially in front of me." Also, the whole girl-on-girl action turns me off unlike most guys. She already does all the sexy things without telling her she's sexy.

I'm pinned against the wall with this one; I have opposing answers thus far.

 

[Masculinity]

This is too much explanation.

If you tell her this, then it loses its meaning. She knows you're holding back on purpose, as opposed to it being genuine.

Whenever she tests your game, be vague. If you're unsure of what to say, say nothing. As for her requests, dont change anything. If you try to respond to everything she says and wants, you will die a painful death.

This is true; I have said nothing before too and it works. She has been asking me non-stop why I don't call her sexy and I was deciding what answer to give her when this answer came out.

I don't respond to all of her requests because I know it works against me.
Why shouldn't I respond to this one specifically, though?

 

[Alien]

As for her requests, dont change anything. If you try to respond to everything she says and wants, you will die a painful death.

this is 100% true.

Her: In those pictures you have naked of me and s*cking your (woohoo) do you think I'm sexy or just cute?
Me: Hah, if you don't think when I tell you how hard you make me is because you arouse me, you're slow.

I would say: -i think you are someone who is sucking my woohoo
dont always answer with logic.

"This girl loves me and she's told me many times she wants to spend her life with me, have my child and live with me."

These things mean 0. i mean 0, zero.

 

[Masculinity]

this is 100% true.

Her: In those pictures you have naked of me and s*cking your (woohoo) do you think I'm sexy or just cute?
Me: Hah, if you don't think when I tell you how hard you make me is because you arouse me, you're slow.

I would say: -i think you are someone who is sucking my woohoo
dont always answer with logic.

"This girl loves me and she's told me many times she wants to spend her life with me, have my child and live with me."

These things mean 0. i mean 0, zero.

The last part of your response was funny, haha.

Geting back on topic, I tend to answer with logic sometimes. I am ashamed of it and I'm working hard to get rid of it, but it isn't easy; I'll keep working on it until I can answer with vague or simple responses though.

I must ask, why do you agree with Alien think that if I fulfill her requests I will suffer a painful death, though?

I seem to be missing something that you guys see clearly.

 

[Alien]

The last part of your response was funny, haha.

Geting back on topic, I tend to answer with logic sometimes. I am ashamed of it and I'm working hard to get rid of it, but it isn't easy; I'll keep working on it until I can answer with vague or simple responses though.

I must ask, why do you agree with Alien think that if I fulfill her requests I will suffer a painful death, though?

I seem to be missing something that you guys see clearly.

Its OK to answer logic with sometimes. But there are questions which scream for misinterpretation or funny answer.

Her: In those pictures you have naked of me and s*cking your (woohoo) do you think I'm sexy or just cute?

Decoded:
Im sexy and cute and you should be glad that im sucking your woohooD) not someone elses. Tell me you are sooo glad! Tell me you need me! tell me you need me and you will FAIL!

Its just a little innocent test. If you feel you are being tested dont answer with logic, throw in some funny answer.

 

[Ease]

Because this isn't important. Go ahead and make her feel better, 2 weeks later something new will come up.

It's more of a test to see how you will react to the situation. If you try to please her, she will know how to manipulate you to get what she wants. Whether it be compliments, money, jealousy, its all the same. It's never good to be manipulated.

 

[hansol]

An old-timer once showed me how it was done:

His wife was constantly nagging him one night about catching the next ferry to the mainland. "We are going to be late" blah blah blah and all that. The old boy smiled and nodded, all the while ignoring whatever the wife said. Finally she made so much noise that he had to act.

This next part has stuck with me: he reached across the table where us boys were smoking cigars and relaxing, grabbed the cordless phone, and gave it to his wife. She forgot what she was *****ing about as she proceeded to go put the phone on the charger, and stopped nagging.

Basically, he smiled, nodded, and continued what he was originally doing. When it got so bad that he had to switch it up, he gave her something else to take her mind off whatever the concern was, and went back to what he was doing.

I've used this techinque ever since I saw the old boy bust it out, and it works wonderfully.

 

[Masculinity]

Its OK to answer logic with sometimes. But there are questions which scream for misinterpretation or funny answer.

Her: In those pictures you have naked of me and s*cking your (woohoo) do you think I'm sexy or just cute?

Decoded:
Im sexy and cute and you should be glad that im sucking your woohooD) not someone elses. Tell me you are sooo glad! Tell me you need me! tell me you need me and you will FAIL!

Its just a little innocent test. If you feel you are being tested dont answer with logic, throw in some funny answer.

I figured out it was a classic sh!t test, but I wasn't sure how to respond.

I never though of the decoding either, although I knew it was there. I'm back

on track with these responses. Sometimes I don't want to know ANYTHING

about women! :cuss:


By the way, that was a well-explained example Alien, thanks!

 

[Masculinity]

Because this isn't important. Go ahead and make her feel better, 2 weeks later something new will come up.

It's more of a test to see how you will react to the situation. If you try to please her, she will know how to manipulate you to get what she wants. Whether it be compliments, money, jealousy, its all the same. It's never good to be manipulated.

Hmm...I never saw the scenario from that perspective. You're right though;

my room mate is and AFC living with his wife. She calls his name every 5

minutes giving him commands. Sometimes when they're in the room and he

comes out it literally takes her 3 seconds to call his name (AFC?!) to which

he responds "coming." I even saw her give him a command once and he said

"ok" and then she said "do it NOW." I couldn't believe how little self-respect

this guy has; it is very sad to witness, yet alone experience it.



Ever since I have seen these examples I swore and promised myself not to

EVER, EVER, EVER allow anyone to disrespect me or speak to me in that

tone, especially a woman. I rather be castrated than to go down that

road! :cuss:



Manipulation exists and it is all around us. It takes failing little sh!t tests to

start being manipulated by women. Good point Ease!

 

[horaholic]

I think you should wait until the next time you have a blow out fight, and say "Damn, you're sexy when you're pissed." lol. That'll ruffle her feathers!

 

[horaholic]

Oh, wait... I got a better one: the next time she's nagging you or bytching about something stupid, say "You know... You're really sexy when your mouth's closed."

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

I wouldn't say it for a while and let it go on the back burner. Down the line when she actually looks or is doing something very sexy, then you can bust it out. She'll probably just melt. It sounds like she has low self esteem and needs more validation through you constantly reminding her how hot she is. You already know you shouldn't be that person, and part of why she's with you in the first place is because you're not.

 

[Bible_Belt]

http://www.snaz75.com/

 

[dj_china]

Oh, wait... I got a better one: the next time she's nagging you or bytching about something stupid, say "You know... You're really sexy when your mouth's closed."

+1

keep it light

 

[Masculinity]

I think you should wait until the next time you have a blow out fight, and say "Damn, you're sexy when you're pissed." lol. That'll ruffle her feathers!

Oh, wait... I got a better one: the next time she's nagging you or bytching about something stupid, say "You know... You're really sexy when your mouth's closed."

:crackup: It is priceless when someone with a good sense of humor replies with these kind of good stuff! ^^

 

[Masculinity]

I wouldn't say it for a while and let it go on the back burner. Down the line when she actually looks or is doing something very sexy, then you can bust it out. She'll probably just melt. It sounds like she has low self esteem and needs more validation through you constantly reminding her how hot she is. You already know you shouldn't be that person, and part of why she's with you in the first place is because you're not.

Well said, BucketofTruth. I have thought of telling her a few months from now.
I'm coming home from school after not seeing her for a long time. She got a new set of underwear for me. How did I respond to that?

I booked a night at a very nice hotel for when I arrive today. She said she's gonna jump on when she picks me up at the airport; you know what's gonna happen later I'm writing this while I'm flying home, by the way. There is this cute hb7.8 flight attendant; we have been going back and forth through both of my flights, haha. She's actually nice and makes strong ice contact with me. This is how more flight attendants should be.

Just as Mulroy said in The Terminal by Steven Spielberg: "Flight attendants going through many time zones messes up their biological clocks. They are always ready for sex; why do you think they can't stop smiling? Hahah.

 

[Hakuna]

Quote from "The Art of War" that I think applies perfectly to the subject of fighting in relationships or handling shyt tests:

"To win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill."