this is a little weird

[monster squad]

I had this kinda... rocky friendship with this girl over the last year and a half (friendship basically meaning her coming on to me, me reciprocating only to get the dreaded "speech", then spending the last 14 months trying to get out of the friendzone, to varying degrees of success, but never quite getting there).

Two months ago I invited her out for some drinks, and she obliged. First she pissed me off by showing up two hours late, which was ok, because I spent those two hours getting to know this other girl better. Then she pissed me off further by allowing some guy to take my seat when I went to get another drink. I vanished for a while after that, only to return to her making out with some other guy on the other side of the bar.

To say that I overreacted would be an understatement. I tried just walking away at first . Afterall, it wasn't really any of my business. We weren't out on a date or anything, but a night of drinking, and a childish attitude got the best of me, so... I called her a hoe. Not only did I tell her this, I texted it to her (to drive home whatever intoxicated point I may have had), then said some rather rude things out in the parking lot. A proud moment indeed. Then when I got home I wrote her some rambling e-mail, went over to some chicks house, got even more trashed with her, and our respective roommates, then started texting her friends to tell them all the ****ty things she said about them at 9 in the morning.

She lost a lot of friends as a result of my bizarre behavior. I am truly ashamed of how I reacted then. I think it was all more of a defense mechanism than anything. A desperate and ill-conceived reaction, as a means of making her hate me to the point of no return in an effort to end the torment she's put me through.

A week ago was the first time I really saw her since then (besides a few awkward run-ins). Her friends took her by the hand, led her over to me, sat her down, told me that she constantly talks about me, and left us to talk. Basically, despite my little moment of insulting her, and costing her a few lifelong friendships, she said she still can't hate me. She said something about that night being a reality check for her. She claimed that she ended up not sleeping with the guy, but just fell asleep on his bed (which I'm not stupid enough to totally believe, though I'm sure I killed the mood). She told me she couldn't stand me not being around.

Then she left to drive her at that point hammered friend home, but not before kissing me on her way out.

Now she wants to go out for a some drinks this week. I'm really not sure what I should do here. This is all so surreal. I don't understand why she doesn't hate me, and I don't understand why she's the only girl I've ever had any feelings for. Even in the last two months, every other girl bores me. Is there a reasonable way out of this dilemma? Right now, my only gameplan is to be blunt with her, and either hit it, or scare her off for good. Either end is fine with me.

 

[Ace of Flames]

She showed up late, she gave away your seat, she made out with some other guy, and you finally got all pissed. Well duh, she fvcking owned you. She came late and then she took control right away. You had no input that night at all. She might as well have been there alone, because you didn't mean sh!t to her. Then you come out of nowhere and start screaming and yelling because some guy had enough game to start making out with her right then and there. I give props to that guy. So you make a scene inside the bar, out in the parking lot, even send her a text. Then you get home and write her emails? Why are you talking to this "hoe" so much? And then, to top it all off, the best thing to do is go see some other girl and get wasted. What kind of bright idea was that? Did you show up on her doorstep, half-drunk, spouting off about how that hoe did you wrong, and how you came over to drink your sorrows away? This other girl probably thinks you're pretty sad. But whatever, she let you in and got wasted with you, so its all good, right?

Wow, you had a bad night.

So now, this girl that you previously thought of as a "hoe" comes to you, talking about how she wants you, she needs you, she can't live without you, blah blah blah. You of course, sat there quietly and listened to every word of her BS. To tie the preverbial bow, she sealed the whole charade with a kiss, and left to take her 'hammered' friend home. Right. That's convenient, eh?

...Do I need to say anymore? This girl has been fvcking with your mind from the start. You were her syringe of attention. Whenever she needed a hit, she just grabbed you, and you were happy as hell to be there. You've only had feelings for this bytch because you don't know any better, or maybe you like being used. No other girls have been fvcking with you like she does, so you don't like them. And now, you're sitting there asking if you should hit it or quit it? Please, you'll never screw this girl unless you rape her. There's no chance in hell, heaven, or even limbo.

Get the fvck away from this hoe.

 

[monster squad]

Thanks for your concern, but I think I'm alright. I'm not the same person anymore. I realize that she is what she is, and I am what I am. I just have to see for myself where this goes. This feels different than before. Maybe I'm setting myself up again, but I really don't care. This is something I have to experience.

We did go out for drinks a couple times this week. No big deal. A little flirting last night (slid my finger down her asscrack to point out that her jeans were riding a little low, drunkenly stuck her lighter down her cleavage, I was looking for some songs in the jukebox and she came over and put my arm around her, ect...), but she had a friend with her (she was already out to dinner with her friend somewhere else, and decided to call me and see what I was doing). Her friend got emotional over a past relationship of her own, and she of course had to drive her home. How redundant.

I invited her over for dinner tomorrow with my roommate and her boyfriend. She seems pretty much into the idea, even though I have a feeling she might stand me up since she was getting bad vibes from my roommate and doesn't feel particularly invited. We'll see.

 

[squirrels]

No drinks. If she REALLY wants to spend time with you, from now on, she does it on YOUR terms. She's got two and a half strikes.

Personally, it may just not be worth the time, but if you want a piece of her, give it a try, on your terms. At the first sign of BS, walk out.

You've got too much emotion invested here. Take a step back and get yourself collected...and whatever happens with her, just expect it.

 

[monster squad]

Repeating cycles. I gave her a last chance, and she blew it.

Now for some help. I've done everything I can think of to keep this ***** away from me in the past, besides flat out physical violence, and she just won't stay the **** away. What on god's green earth can I do to prevent her from EVER coming within kicking distance?

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

This girl is trouble... she'll keep doing to you what she's been doing. The "reality check" part was not to comfort you n'or did it have anything to do with the value of your "friendship" No, rather, the reality check made her wake up and realise that you weren't going to be her little toy anymore, and she doesn't want that to happen.

Tell her to fvck off, seriously.

Screw burning bridges and costing friendships... this, my friend, is no friendship.

 

[JJMcLure]

Let me just WARN YOU right now, this chick will burn you badly if you let her! Don't think she is all cool with what you did and doesn't dislike you for it!

I know this might sound hard to believe - would a chick really go to all this effort and put on such an act only for revenge? Damn straight! (not every chick, but definitely the kind of attention wh0re you've described). Ever heard the saying "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"? - it's well known for a reason.

This chick is an attention wh0re. She gave you a mindfvck for 18 months. Now she wants to continue it. These chicks cannot stand to not be in control and have someone not liking them. But that doesn't mean she can't dislike you - once she has you where she wants you - BAM! Their biggest concern is having their behaviour "discovered", that's when they really go to town and have to "prove" it's not true (to themselves as much as anyone - they live in denial) by getting the "discoverer" back on side (i.e. you). These chicks are experts at generating feelings - they show all the right signs and they modify their behaviour (mirror you) to elicit the best reaction from you, to get you to like them. The extreme form is called histrionic personality disorder.

You said yourself you were ashamed of what you did. You are confused - almost in disbelief - as to why she would not have any hard feelings over it. You say it seems surreal - and that's because it isn't real. Always trust your gut! She sees this as payback time.

She is not into you, she proved that by her actions over the 18 months and by the night when she made out with the other guy. She also disrespected you by showing up late. Chicks who are into you DO NOT do these things. She KNOWS you want her. Now she will use that to suck you in, get your emotions involved and then drop you hard for revenge. If you let her execute her plan you will be in a bad place.

Be on guard, do not trust her and do not get any feelings for her. In fact, for your own good, I'd recommend staying away.

 

[Vince]

Thanks for your concern, but I think I'm alright. I'm not the same person anymore. I realize that she is what she is, and I am what I am. I just have to see for myself where this goes. This feels different than before. Maybe I'm setting myself up again, but I really don't care. This is something I have to experience.

We did go out for drinks a couple times this week. No big deal. A little flirting last night (slid my finger down her asscrack to point out that her jeans were riding a little low, drunkenly stuck her lighter down her cleavage, I was looking for some songs in the jukebox and she came over and put my arm around her, ect...), but she had a friend with her (she was already out to dinner with her friend somewhere else, and decided to call me and see what I was doing). Her friend got emotional over a past relationship of her own, and she of course had to drive her home. How redundant.

I invited her over for dinner tomorrow with my roommate and her boyfriend. She seems pretty much into the idea, even though I have a feeling she might stand me up since she was getting bad vibes from my roommate and doesn't feel particularly invited. We'll see.

You are causing your own mental demise.

 

[Krang!]

Dude - stay the fvck away from this girl - she is the devil!

Tell her!: Do NOT call me, do NOT e-mail me and if we ever bump into each other act like you don't know me!

 

[Bvbidd]

You could always just ger her drunk and fvck her and leaving her feeling like sh!t. If she really is as evil as you say.

No need to freak out and never talk to her again because she kissed some guy.

 

[monster squad]

I've decided to just confront her. Not get all emotional or anything, just to tell her to get the **** out of my life. I'm not buying her act anymore. Everything came into focus friday night.

We had our little dinner thing. Her, my roommate, her BF, his best friend, and myself. After a bit of wine, she got stuck on the topic of sexual orientation. Seems everyone there has had at least one homo experience under their belt, besides me, as I've not once doubted myself. She was the only repeat offender. Something about her hooking up with one of her friends, then doing it again, and again, and on and on. Then she said something about how she doesn't consider herself a lesbian, or even bisexual, but totally straight and "open minded". Whatever. She said she wouldn't want a relationship with a girl, only with a guy, but she would still want to... blah blah blah.... I'll cut to the point:

She claimed that if she was with a guy, he would be the only man in her life, but she would still be prone to her little dyke endeavors, and he would not only have to accept that she will still have sex with girls at her leisure, but he would have to be monogomous with her.

A) I wasn't raised to share. Sharing is for hippie communes.
and
B) I find double standards unacceptable.

After this, I distanced myself from her.

Soon after was when everything became totally clear; she's using me to get close to my roommate.

The evidence:
she's always asking me where she is or to invite her out
she goes to the same hairstylist and gets damn near the same hairstyle (Single White Female syndrome)
everytime I get pissed off at her, she calls my roommate to see if she's still alright with her
and the most obvious, she mentioned that she's been attracted to her for years, and she "jokingly" said she'd hit it, or have a three way with her and her BF, oh, and she left as soon as they went to bed

Besides the fact that my roommate is disgusted by this idea (she had her one gay moment when this girl was still in diapers), she doesn't even like her. Can't stand her. Her BF and his friend didn't like her by the end of the night. None of my close friends like her. Why the hell was I so blind?

So.... she still won't leave me alone. Sent me a text to get together tommorow night (and don't forget to invite the roommate!!!). I told her where I'll be. All that's left is to let her know that I'm staring right through her smoke and mirrors.