This guy needs us ..

[jophil28]

Well, since you're fishing for it with this whole thread, I'll bite.

Her provisioning was already taken care of. You mention she'd been with the husband for 20 some years, with 2 homes, solely in her name, worth over $2 million. I'd say that provisioning need has more than been met. In fact, this is the very problem "professional women" often confront; they become so self-reliant for their own provisioning that the only men capable of exceeding their self-provisioning are guys more "professional" and affluent than themselves.

However, you're committing the cardinal sin of presuming that 'provisioning' means financial wealth. Women have an innate need for security, but that's not limited to money. It's definitely a factor, but it may be a lower or higher priority depending upon her conditions.

You've tried to qualify the husband in your long-story-short synopsis as a combat veteran; and presumedly a tough Alpha, good genes male. And perhaps he was. Perhaps this original perception the wife had was what attracted her to him. However 20 years later he's a definite AFC and not the Man he once was as we can see by his response to her first infidelity. Not only this, but you attempt to disqualify the 'weedy' lover as both a bad provider and a beta bad-genes male. Ha ha, an exception to the Schedules of Mating ideology! Furthermore, to better set the trap, you challenge us (me?) to guess what type of guy she goes for, fully expecting the "oh she must've ƒucked the pool boy" answer without any more information or background on your characters than the sketchy "abridged version".

Really JOPHIL, I expect better from you.

Frankly I am not surpised that you needed to weigh in to this. No challenge to your opinions goes unpunished..
The opportunity to have a dig at me was just too tasty to ignore wasn't it ? :nono: Nice attempted slapdown Rollo, but no cigar..

The lover guy was "weedy" and did not fit any of your criteria. He was some kind of "fling" who somehow became, in her delusion, her "future husband".
He was the office sleasebag with a reputation for chasing tail and cheating on his family.

Her "provisioning" was certainly NOT assured because her entitlements under Australian Law require a property settlement to access their money . Under Family Law her husband is guaranteed a 50% split in most cases (regardless of whose name is on the titles) when there are no dependent children. IN this case HE was the custodial parent and she was the breadwinner and therefore he is the beneficiary of a greater share..(or will be whene their divorce proceeds)
Secondly as a veteran , he is entitled to significant financial and medical benefits and our law provides for her to receive exactly the same benefits should he die. She forfeited all that .
Her 'provisioning' was highly 'at risk' by running off like she did.
Husband is now entitled to make a claim for spousal support as well as several other minor claims against her income. She will wind up paying him a monthly stipend.

Their houses are about to be auctioned (a court order is in progress) and she will wind up with a minor share of the proceeds, no marriage and no place to live.

 

[SXS]

Jophil, are you a friend of this man ? What is your relation with him ?

 

[jophil28]

Jophil, are you a friend of this man ? What is your relation with him ?

Yes, he is a close friend of an old army buddy of mine.
I see and talk to this guy often when I run into him at the roulette wheel.
In the past few months I have heard his story almost weekly.

 

[SXS]

I feel like you can really help him. You know, giving him some advice.

 

[Luthor Rex]

When it comes to women with mental problems, bipolar or whatever, I would assume that 'normal' evo-psych / schedules of mating goes out the window. Look at it this way, when a woman is a head case she is seeing the world in a skewed way. Maybe to her that office guy really was some superman, because her ability to see reality is so screwed up.

I know a bi-polar woman who married (and divorced) a man who was an outrageous loser because in her mind he was superman. Her mental disorder really made her think that this guy was the sh!t. She rejected all information that didn't match what she wanted to see, or re-interpreted events in such a way as to make the guy look glamorous.

The sane people who knew her thought she was nuts to marry him. Oh, it was only after her explosive divorce that we all found out she is bi-polar.

 

[jophil28]

When it comes to women with mental problems, bipolar or whatever, I would assume that 'normal' evo-psych / schedules of mating goes out the window.

This woman has shown several symptoms of both Histrionic PD and NPD.

Many years ago she tried to defraud her own father out of his money. SHe wound up in court with her own brother as an adversary. He sued her to protect his father. She lost.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Jophil,
A very interesting situation....I think that the generalisations about people,and how they will believe in various emotional situations,are just that...Generalisations....People are all a little bit different to each other,and our behaviour at various times in our life changes dramatically,we all of us behave at times as if we are Mad....I give you A story about C..... a really good looking Lady about 50 but really well preserved,the body of a teenager and ultra fit....I used to go Bushwalking with C... No one could say a bad word about this Woman,though a very good Dancer,she did not go out much,did not encourage Males at all....She suddenly disappeared off the Scene,turns out that after just a couple of fleeting visits to A guy she met on the Net,she threw in her Government house(A one off deal where a single Mum gets a very nice Suburban cottage for about US$30.00 a Week,fully maintained for life)went to live 400 miles away with a Guy who claimed to be a Financial Advisor,but in reality was a Menial hand in Stables,a weedy guy,who sold Pet Food for a few extra bucks...This a Woman who could have picked and chosen from a number of highly desirable guys..Eventually she came back with nothing,has to start her life over again....Why do they do it?....Any way Jophil,in an Emotional Foxhole,This poor guy, couldn't want a better Mate than you.

 

[PSYCHO]

Let me guess - her "Lover" pimp was her son?

Your friend is a fool and deserves the hor!

Quit labeling hordoms as a disease - that sounds stupid!

She found a man that was as conniving and cheating as her - except she found out that he was MORE conniving, and now seeks a fool to comfort her from her distress of being the victim of her own betrayal!

So she acts as a victim even though she is THE victimizer - and her victimized husband takes her back and now he is the victim eternally - the victim of his own foolishness and emasculation!

 

[jophil28]

Update.
I saw this same guy a few nights ago at the casino.
He saw his lawyer recently who is pushing for a court hearing to force the wife to sell their two houses. The lawyer also did a property titles search and discovered that she is still the sole registered owner of the marital homes AND she and he boyfriend have purchased another house on a few acres in May..

So the husband is still living with his frail elderly mother with no money except his service pension, and the cheating wife is in control of two houses worth over $2 mil and she has also snared her boyfriend into signing a note at the bank for another house.
She also holds a British passport and can freely leave this country and live there forever if she chose to do so.

This all came about because the husband took her back a few years ago when she cheated the first time.
Back then I told him strongly to swallow the pain and the loss and dump her, but he would not listen,took her back because she cried a lot, and now he is in a very vulnerable financial situation.

Hard lessons !

 

[DJDamage]

Back then I told him strongly to swallow the pain and the loss and dump her, but he would not listen,took her back because she cried a lot, and now he is in a very vulnerable financial situation.

Hard lessons !

Crying is a women's ultimate weapon, no matter how guilty she is as soon as she drops these tears we are taught (through society's brainwashing) that these are signs of genuine remorse and the crying woman deserves our forgiveness because she is now helpless. If we don't forgive her then we become the bad guy.

If a man starts to cry however he ultimately being precieves as weak and guilty.

That's why if a woman has ever done you wrong and she is asking for your forgiveness, never allow her to cry in front of you. She needs to know right away that you aren't going to be moved by her emotional display (manipulation) and that she should go to the bathroom to clean herself up and when she is ready to talk to you after composing herself then she can come back.

 

[jafyk]

I love how "WJH" Mentions Rollo and then the camera pans to the left and reveals the dark brooding figure of Rollo Tomassi in the shadows as he lights his cigar and then speaks in his raspy voice....lol

Anyway, DJDamage I once read a book title "You don't say" it talks about women crying etc and then I read another book "What Men still don't know about Women , love and relationship by Herb Goldberg" The latter says that most times a man is a victim of his own nature. In other words the values that make him successful in society tends to be his undoing in a relationship. In the end the books states that it's more about how u r perceived than what you do or don't do when it comes to women. Perhaps I'm not doing the book any justice but you guys can read it and send me a PM on what you think. It's a good book for women to read too.

Anyway, Jophil as one of the posters above stated the only resolution to this tragedy is death. Not that I agree but this is a sad story and this stories reinforce why men don't wanna get married. Still it seems like a western culture thing cos I dont hear these stories amongst Africans where I am from. Not saying we are better just saying with this kind of story you shared with us.

 

[scrouds]

Doesn't matter that the houses are in her name, as any semi-competent judge is going to declare them marital property anyways.

In fact, if he has a halfway decent lawyer, he should get a piece of that new house if any marital property (money) was used to fund its purchase or upkeep.

Also depending on the state, he could get preference since she cheated on him.

And if she's still working and he's not, he should get alimony. Child support too if he files for custody and for child support payments.

This all assumes they are in the US, ignore me if that's not valid.

 

[alphaace]

Whatever became of this jophil? Been almost 6 months.

 

[jophil28]

Whatever became of this jophil? Been almost 6 months.

Quick Update-

I saw the guy two weeks ago. He and his wife have made no progress on a property settlement split. The lawyers are still writing to each other ( love those billable hours) because he does not have the kahunas to even talk to her and force her to get off her entitled butt and sell their houses. They have had not ONE offer on their real estate because she priced the houses way above market value, and she did it deliberately to stall for time.
In this country, the Family Court makes itself available for one year and one month after nisi to hear disputed property claims . After that time the parties are left to sort out there squabbles between themselves. So if he and she cannot sell up the real estae and cash up, then she gets control of those houses forever.

He divorced her a few days just before last Christmas Eve.
He claims that he and she are "going to court" in two weeks time to set up a date for "mediation"...and so it just drags on.

HE is still living with his mother or his daughter occasionally.
HE has NOT even begun to grasp why his passivity and weakness allowed this whole mess to fall on him.

So yet another chump gives in to another cheating wife and the toxic bytch will walk with the gold.
She cheats and she wins.

 

[Nutz]

I had a somewhat similar story, but with a every different ending:

A married couple.
She, blond, extremely hot, simpatic, skinny, very tall, taller than me.
He, also very tall man, extremely good looking, good job, big house.
3 kids, nice girls. Church goers.
Anyone would tell they are the perfect couple. He then starts suspecting that she is cheating. Plugs his phone, and, this way, he discovers everything. He confronts her, she confess to have another man. She run away with him, leaving behind her 3 kids for him to take care of. Never heard of her again, nobody knows who is the guy, or where she went. He looks for confort in the church community, and was seen more than once crying like a baby...

FYI, the odds are that one of your kids isn't actually yours. I suggest getting a paternity test.

I think the real problem is we've been taught the WRONG morality.

I would agree that the morals most men in the West are brought up learning turn them into wimps.

Read The War Against Boys. It explains why & how we got there.

The lawyers are still writing to each other ( love those billable hours) because he does not have the kahunas to even talk to her and force her to get off her entitled butt and sell their houses. They have had not ONE offer on their real estate because she priced the houses way above market value, and she did it deliberately to stall for time.
In this country, the Family Court makes itself available for one year and one month after nisi to hear disputed property claims . After that time the parties are left to sort out there squabbles between themselves. So if he and she cannot sell up the real estae and cash up, then she gets control of those houses forever.

Read Taken Into Custody. The way the family court system operates in the US (and will be soon in the UK) is nothing short of criminal. But it's so steeped in misandry and cronyism that nobody is willing to do anything about it. It's so bad that officials that have tried to investigate have been reprimanded and the isolated incidents of judges cutting through the BS and actually being fair to men were removed from the bench because they threatened the system's gravy train--men are traditionally the higher earning spouse so it's in the courts best interest to give kids to the mother. This forces dads to pay through the nose in court to get visitation or custody. That's not even counting the forced couseling by specialists which can run into the 10s or 100s of thousands of dollars. Good money the men never agreed to pay, but were forced to cough up. If they can't afford the fees they're tossed in jail. This is why "deadbeat dads" exist as much as they do. They're forced into debtors prison. The stereotypical deadbeat dad you hear about on TV are such a small number it's statistically irrelevant. Good luck ever hearing about that nugget of truth in a feminist controlled Western media.

If anyone ever needs reason not to get married, it's this book. Matter of fact I think this should be mandatory reading for every. single. man. considering marriage in this day and age. I've never read anything even remotely close to laying out all of the risks one would face getting married in Western society. Canada, America, Australia, and the UK are more or less all in the same bad state. America certainly takes the cake for the more blatantly misandrist system though.

 

[Nutz]

http://www.newsreview.com/sacramento/content?oid=587522

Forget marriage. This is just a glimpse of what's to come if you have a kid and split. If she ends up on welfare guess who gets to pay the govt for her bad choices. That's right, YOU!