This girl means everything in the world to me

[Stars2001]

... and she doesn't feel the same way about me. We always talked at work, and even flirted quite a bit... but when I asked her for her phone number, she said no. And it's never been the same between us. I didn't talk to her after that, I even said some things I regret. We still don't talk.

But it's way deeper than just asking a girl for her number. I am so attracted to her it's driving me nuts. She is everything I could ever want in a girl. I've NEVER in my life felt this way about ANYONE. She is the only one I want, but I'm not gonna get her. I asked for her number about 2 months ago by the way. And one of my female friends was talking to her a few days ago, and my friend said "When are we gonna meet him?" It made me sick to my stomach to think she's interested in someone. I haven't told anyone how I feel about her. Everyone just thinks it was asking for a measly phone number. The pain is so bad I wish I would have never met her. I've been a viewer of this forum for a loong time, and occasionally seen threads similar to mine, and thought "wow, it's just a girl", but then... it happened to me. I wouldn't even feel right dating another girl because my mine wouldn't be on them. Will this ever go away? She rejected me two months ago, but I've been attracted to her like this for 8 months. Man does this suck. I want her so bad. I just can't describe what I'm feeling. No matter what I do, I can't get my mind off of her. She is someone I'd want to grow old with.

 

[Engetsu]

The best advice you will receive here is: the girl is not interested. Get over those feelings and go after 10 other women. Also, in the future, stop being such a wuss, and seize the first occasion you have to create romantic interest. We're not in grade school anymore to be keeping secrets

By the way, you need to do some serious bible-reading before posting here, because your thread is most probably going to be closed, or you're going to be flamed.

Best of luck in the future

 

[chad2k5]

Wow Stars, that post actually made me sad.

I know how you feel man, I've been there. And hopefully I can help. Most of the time there are patterns to these situations, and this case is no exception. The number one pattern (and problem) is that you continue to see this girl... DON'T. It's essential that you find another job (if you can), because if you continue to see this girl - it won't go away. It's like window shopping, you're so close to something you want, but you're not going to get it. It's torture on yourself, and it's not heathly. It's rare when someone is this attracted to someone, and unfortunetly, more rare when two people feel the same way about each other. One thing you have to remember is... she's a person, just like you. She does normal things, she isn't a goddess.

Time is your best friend... WITHOUT seeing her.

 

[cave dweller]

work.....

Hey,

Rule number 34 is:

"Don't put your meat where you get your bread."

Forget her and move on.


cave dweller

 

[Stars2001]

I know I need to forget her. How come co-workers rarely date each other?? I never understood that.

 

[t00dumb]

its best to take these guys advice, and i know how you feel. i can see emotionally attached to her, most of the time it's a bad thing if you don't know how to control it. it's like an ex dumping you and you can't get over her because she did mean everything to you. best remedy is absence and find things that will take ur mind off her, stuf u like to do. and yes, start meeting new people. it's just another sad case of oneitis, level 5 haha. sorry bro but you know what to do.

 

[cave dweller]

work place.......

Stars,

Hey, I am for real here, you don't want an 'ex' in your place of work.

cave dweller

 

[squirrels]

How old are you, man? You sound like you've got some serious growing up to do.

Anyway, you've GIVEN this girl so much of your respect and power you have none left for HER to see in YOU.

Honestly, when you haven't even DATED a girl and think she's THIS perfect, it's because you haven't spent any time with her. You're taking a guess at what's in her head based not on time put in, but on what YOU want to believe.

You'll NEVER be able to see inside of her, man. Other people's hearts are closed unless they give you keys, and she's not giving you any.

In the end, though, this means precisely JACK. This girl can't define who you are. She can't validate your existence. You're being unfair to her putting that kind of pressure on her and you're being unfair to YOURSELF by giving away that right to someone else.

Before you can even THINK about women, you need to learn to stand on your own two feet and take charge of your OWN life...to become a better man and enrich your OWN life for your OWN sake.

If you rely on HER to make your life "special"...that essentially means that you can't make your life special on your own. So what could you POSSIBLY have to offer her??

Learn to LOVE, not NEED, and the women will come to YOU.

As for this girl...you lost. Kudos to you for at least TRYING to get her phone number, but she declined. I doubt you'll find any "magic tricks" on this site that will make her suddenly turn around and swoon for you, especially if she's seeing another guy. It sounds like you're bitter toward her...don't be. She's not a MEAN person for not liking you. I'm sure you've had women YOU were not attracted to try to hit on you before.

When I was a chump, before all of this, I had cried myself to sleep over many a lady. Seriously...none of them deserved it. Relax and understand that this event is nothing but a flashback in the grand story of your life.

 

[Sexus]

Learn to LOVE, not NEED, and the women will come to YOU.

Boom! B*tch goes down! Beautiful....

 

[Mischka]

Stars, I can feel your pain. I once was in "love" and it cost me valuable time of my life (in my twenties) dreaming we could get together. She was pretty, she was intelligent, she could talk, she was educated, she was social. And you know what: I thought I was not nice enough, I thought I was not intelligent enough, I thought it was a sign she liked me, when she told me a lot about herself. I had not a single clue what was going on.

Of course all of you know, what was going on. It is all on this site.

Now, Stars, listen to the people giving you advice here. They are right. Force yourself not to think about her. Every time you think about her, you make it worse. It is not she who makes you love her, it is yourself. You turn the wheel yourself. Be nice to her, but move on. Chances are 99% you will NEVER get her. Consequently, use 1% of your time on her, and 99% of your time on improving yourself and dating other women.

 

[Underoath]

Originally posted by Mischka
Consequently, use 1% of your time on her, and 99% of your time on improving yourself and dating other women.

This is a very nice quote. It is highly unlikely that you will get her. I haven't even read the original post and just scrolled all the way to the bottom. It's like the red pill - blue pill analogy. Once you take the one you want (which you have by going on this forum), then you can't turn back. She's DEAD to you now.

 

[PRMoon]

Just be her friend, if that's possible. If you get another girlfriend and she sees how good you are to her or what not she might change her mind. But from this stand point there really isn't too much you can do.

I admire your courage though. Everytime I meet a girl I really like and can see myself being with for a long time, My bachelor gene kicks in and I totally blow them off. Well I suppose my recent attraction has gotten under that radar somewhat, but she's a serious challange so I pursue. None-the-less you should move on there are tons of girls out there for you. These feelings of pain and anguish will subside with time.

If you want to speed things up go to a stripclub and let the ladies do their magic. You won't even remember her name after a few lapdances.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

If this girl means everything in the world to you, then this world you speak of is a hopeless one. It is not the world I live in. It shouldn't be the world you live in either.

 

[Wubbman]

I feel for you Stars, I've been in this same situation a few times. My best advice would be to do your best to move on (someone suggested getting a new job, which is drastic, but it is for the best). I would also recommend that you learn from this. Never, ever, give them your heart (ie, becoming attached to them, like you are with this girl). It took me many, many heartbreaks to realize that. Only after a real relationship has developed is it alright to become attached.

I've recently gone through a situation similar to yours. I'm in band here at college and I got a huge crush on this chick that I marched by. I thought she was the perfect woman too. I would talk to her some and she seemed interested. I became attached to her and was subsequently crushed when she started dating someone else in band. Over the course of the rest of the semester I dreaded going to band because she was always there with her boyfriend. It was torture, much like what you're going through right now. But, the semester ended and I see her rarely now. Its the best thing that could have happened.

Your best bet is to simply get away from her. You will soon forget about her and move on. Hopefully you won't make the same mistake again. Good luck.