This girl 'hates' her bf but won't leave him.

[Tyson420]

Here's a snippet of my convo. That will sum up the whole point.

[02/04/2011 10:29:08 PM] David : so ur scared a boy might leave u
[02/04/2011 10:29:26 PM] David : i doubt it, he depends on u, he would be scurred you'd leave
[02/04/2011 10:30:28 PM] Yolanda: than he would have a sense urgency
[02/04/2011 10:30:32 PM] Yolanda: to find what
[02/04/2011 10:30:48 PM] Yolanda: what am doing..or up...or to where he stands..or to know if we are together
[02/04/2011 10:31:21 PM] Yolanda : i dont know
[02/04/2011 10:32:15 PM] Yolanda: im thinking as long as im his bbm....he will never that urgency or even call...like look how long i havnt said a word to him
[02/04/2011 10:32:30 PM] Yolanda: im on his bbm&^
[02/04/2011 10:33:20 PM] Yolanda: and he hasnt said a word..or call..cus hes not feeling that any sense urgency he probably still thinks ya she will never leave
[02/04/2011 10:33:26 PM] Yolanda: ill have her forever
[02/04/2011 10:34:27 PM] David : maybe
[02/04/2011 10:36:11 PM] David : r u scared he'll leave u or something
[02/04/2011 10:36:22 PM] Yolanda : yes
[02/04/2011 10:36:26 PM] David : lol ridiculous
[02/04/2011 10:36:35 PM] Yolanda : or he might think ok than..it is really over than
[02/04/2011 10:36:35 PM] Yolanda : lol
[02/04/2011 10:36:45 PM] Yolanda : like shes done
[02/04/2011 10:36:49 PM] David: do u think hes better than u
[02/04/2011 10:37:07 PM] Yolanda: but how wuld he come up to that ..if he hasnt talked to me to find out
[02/04/2011 10:37:26 PM] David: do u think ur worthless without him
[02/04/2011 10:37:35 PM] Yolanda Virgo: no
[02/04/2011 10:37:47 PM] Yolanda: i just love him gohsh
[02/04/2011 10:38:19 PM] David: aw

Her man hasn't called her in 3 weeks. So we know he's left her.

I've already given up and theres the convo, slightly spiteful. But do you think I've given up too early?

 

[Tyson420]

I think you're friendzoned.

And even if you somehow did get her, she'd still pine for the guy that just left her.

That outcome is possible. But the guy is an ex-con, broke, and he uses her for money... What could she possibly.

**** it, I give up.

 

[Tiguere]

That outcome is possible. But the guy is an ex-con, broke, and he uses her for money... What could she possibly.

**** it, I give up.

You talking logic here my friend. When dealing with women EMOTIONS is what reigns.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

That outcome is possible. But the guy is an ex-con, broke, and he uses her for money... What could she possibly.

**** it, I give up.

I would hardly call the above alpha behavior. I know plenty of women who stay away from or won't even bother with loosers like that, because they are denitely not "alpha" in their eyes; meaning, the women have enough self esteem to spot a clown like this one. Sounds more like a girl with extremely low self-esteem, who doesn't believe she deserves better, and will sabotage a good thing she gets going on in the future.

Why would you want somebody with such low self esteem to drag you down? She won't get better, you will get worse. If you want a girl with low self esteem, just looke everywhere else, as most women have low self esteem, just stay away with the very messed up ones, like this one.

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

This girl 'worships' her bf and won't leave him.

Fixed

 

[DJDamage]

She doesn't "hate" her boyfriend, she feeds on the drama he gives her like a heroin addict.

You are nothing but an emotional tampon/girlfriend to her at this point.

NEXT this pathetic b1tch.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

GOL,

I agree that he is almost certainly not a good catch. But hey, self-esteem and perception of alpha qualities are two very different things, especially when it comes to the perceptions (feelings) of a woman.

It is not about self-esteem, it is about gina-tingles. And you can bet that this loser clown can vibrate her oh so well, where-as the better catch (the OP) gets left with the emotional baggage.

Has to do with BOTH. All that matters is what she likes. She likes the abusive guy. She does not have high self esteem. As DJDamage said, he gives her the high like a heroin addict. These people are never of high self esteem. She perceives him as alpha, but she also has extremely low self esteem.

Not disagreeing that he gives her the gina-tingles. Because that is the type of guy she likes. Doesn't mean she does not have low self-esteem. My guess is she's a mess herself. Digging into her past, would not be surprised if she was abused early on.

Do the type of women you date only like looser, low lifes, who come out of jail? If they do, and you are not that type, they will not be interested, unless you are an abusive mental case too.

Some women go for that. Guess what, NONE of those women are what I would consider of substance and/or quality. Given the choice between a looser nice guy, and an abusive looser, most of them will choose the abusive. The dominant/masculine always wins. Then there are women who want the masculine qualities, yet need their man to have something going for them. I happen to require the woman have something going for herself with at least average self-esteem (or at least much higher than the woman the OP is talking about).

I wouldn't do well trying to pick up women who go for looser, abusive, violent types. I am not their type. Not my demographics and visa versa. Not because I am not strong, confident, assertive, alpha, etc. More to do with the fact that she is wired at this point in her life, to aim low and/or need someone to keep her in place. Even if I am dominant, and don't put up with $hit from people, I don't get them going, and they do nothing for me either, even if they are attractive.

These women, wether you agree or not, do not have high standards, nor high self esteem, but that is what tickles their pickle. What they consider attractive or dominant, wouldn not be found in me or similar guys. I don't have the time to beat up my bitsh. Get what I'm saying? I do better attracting higher self-esteem women, while not breing good with girls who like the abusive/thug type.

Some women need a domineering man. I go for the ones that want/like a dominant man.

It is about self esteem. Believe me, there are plenty of women who will not bother with these loosers, just not their thing. Guys like that are not their type. Yet another preference people use when selecting a mate.

The better question is why this guy would a low quality, baggage infested woman in his life.

 

[Tyson420]

I really just want to hit it with no strings attached. TBH, that's why. I know she has low self-esteem, I'm not trying to marry the b1tch.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

I really just want to hit it with no strings attached. TBH, that's why. I know she has low self-esteem, I'm not trying to marry the b1tch.

Oh, when you put it that way, it might be easier than I thought. All you need to do is give her what she is looking for. You need to become the type of guy she loves: an abusive, low life, thugh, with nothing going for himself. Become even more of what she wants. Be better at it than her man. Then, and only then, will she be able to "Upgrade", and willing to leave, cheat, and/or risk loosing him for you. I mean, women don't leave unless their (perceived) alternative is better.

Right now, YOU ARE NOT HER TYPE. Just like a hairy, fat broad would not be able to persuade you to just have sex, even if it was just no-strings attached.

 

[bukowski_merit]

There's been hundreds of these same threads over the years... They all read the same (and most likely end the same too)... Just some basic stuff...


1) Only inquire about a woman's boyfriends/boyfriend to gather information about how she's been treated and what she expects. You can do the same gathering of information about how her dad treated her, and how her parents got along (and you'll most likely see a connection between all 3). But DO NOT try to convince a woman her man or the guy she's chasing, etc is bad for her! That's f'ing insane! That's the same as a boyfriend telling his woman not to hang out with a man.... This causes him to become Forbidden fruit... It also creates a mentality of: Us (the bf/gf) vs. Them (everyone who thinks they don't belong together).... < - Neither of those are good for you!


2) If she has a history of being mistreated - that is what she expects. That is what she associates with love. She will get bored with niceness, and cannot get horny for it. If she just happened to end up with a bad guy and the rest of her dating history is pretty solid with decent guys - you MIGHT be alright.

And fyi: Trying to convince her that she's with a bad guy = niceness.


Just some things to remember in the future. Wouldn't advise you to advance with this one, unless you can step your game up A LOT.

 

[f283000]

And fyi: Trying to convince her that she's with a bad guy = niceness.

Correct. That's why we have to use different tactics in this situation. We have to manipulate the female psyche

What are 2 things women hate?

a) nice guys
b) creepy guys

So instead of trying to convince her of how he's such a bad guy (which will make you seem like a nice guy and get her more attracted to him, yes the female brain is f***ed up) what you need to do is convince her THAT HE IS CREEPY!

I want you to implant that thought into her brain. Every time you talk to her about him mention how creepy he is, how creepy are the things he does. Give concrete examples of his creepyness.

Once you repeat something often enough to anyone they'll start believing it.

Because of the way the female brain works she can't allow herself to be attracted to someone that is creepy. Right now he's a bad boy, he needs a makeover to creepy.

Test this out and if you're persistent you'll get her disinterested in him. Just make sure you always come at her from a point of view of not looking like you're hating on him but actually giving an honest opinion. You don't want to sound like you're purposely trying to make him look bad cause she can tell.

 

[Tyson420]

Correct. That's why we have to use different tactics in this situation. We have to manipulate the female psyche

What are 2 things women hate?

a) nice guys
b) creepy guys

So instead of trying to convince her of how he's such a bad guy (which will make you seem like a nice guy and get her more attracted to him, yes the female brain is f***ed up) what you need to do is convince her THAT HE IS CREEPY!

I want you to implant that thought into her brain. Every time you talk to her about him mention how creepy he is, how creepy are the things he does. Give concrete examples of his creepyness.

Once you repeat something often enough to anyone they'll start believing it.

Because of the way the female brain works she can't allow herself to be attracted to someone that is creepy. Right now he's a bad boy, he needs a makeover to creepy.

Test this out and if you're persistent you'll get her disinterested in him. Just make sure you always come at her from a point of view of not looking like you're hating on him but actually giving an honest opinion. You don't want to sound like you're purposely trying to make him look bad cause she can tell.

I've tried a method like that, I didn't make him look creepy. But someone who is typically 'nice'

She asks "Why he never calls her anymore?"

Before that I defended him, and pretended to be on his side. For this she calls me sick and twisted for defending such an EVIL guy like him.

Can you see the level of stupidity of dealing with here? Lol...

Later on I just say that he's emotionally sensitive and scared what she might say and might leave him.

NOW she doesn't believe that at all. I'm guessing she caught onto that game and thought that was all bull****.

So now he's a jerk, an ass for not calling her for 3 weeks and probably left her for someone else. I think she's blaming me, thinks I'm trying to cause problems.

[3:15:35 PM] Yolanda: dont need it
[3:15:41 PM] Yolanda: stop makin trouble
[3:15:52 PM] Yolanda: first u tell me mathew cares now u tryna tell me
[3:16:05 PM] Yolanda: ....psssh
[3:16:13 PM] David: wtf
[3:16:46 PM] Yolanda: ...........
[3:17:34 PM] David: omg whaaaaaat
[3:18:02 PM] David: i have a bit of time left so tell me what ur problem is now
[3:18:20 PM] David: im a professional.
[3:18:53 PM] Yolanda: how do i get matthew to get to talk to me
[3:19:00 PM] Yolanda: how do i fix a disaster that has been done
[3:19:18 PM] Yolanda: dont give me tha hes emotional and sensitive
[3:19:39 PM] David: oh u just want ur favorite ex-con back well...
[3:20:09 PM] David: lol why do you want him back? you can't just 'fix' people
[3:20:10 PM] Yolanda: u know this ! stoooop it
[3:20:36 PM] Yolanda: im not tryna "fix" him goosh im not tyrna change im
[3:20:38 PM] Yolanda: him
[3:20:48 PM] David: well in that case
[3:20:50 PM] David: pick up your blackberry
[3:20:57 PM] David: select his name from your contact list
[3:21:00 PM] David: push dial

If she won't believe that he's a nice guy, I doubt she'll believe that he's creepy.

She's a masochist, I'm here to smash in her moment of weakness. I think the only way is to treat her even worse than he did.

 

[Igetit!]

Tyson....you're behaving like a FOOL.


You couldn't be wrecking your chances with this girl more if you purposely tried. The hell is goin' on here???


This whole thing is off. I was actually wondering what it was you wanted with the girl. You said....

I really just want to hit it with no strings attached.

So you just want to get in,have sex,then get out with "no strings". You want to make the girl sexually interested in you so you can have sex with her.


That's understandable. Well if that's what you want,then why is the WHOLE CONVERSATION between you two all about HER BOYFRIEND?


Maybe I can learn something here. Tell me....how does talking about another guy supposed to make her sexually attracted to you?



You're not flirting,you're not teasing or negging her. You haven't complimented her on anything. You haven't done anything to demonstrate any type of value you may have. In fact,all your conversations have done is put this other guy on her mind even more.



If you were generating any attraction in her,she'd be coming to you to DESTRACT HER from her chaotic relationship instead of DISCUSSING IT.


I mean sheesh dude,she's asking you how to go about making this other guy talk to her again. You're talking about whether or not she's trying to "fix" or "change" the dude.



Maybe I'm getting old or something,lol,but could you tell me how the subject of her "fixing" this guy and her "getting him to talk to her again",could you tell me how these subjects are supposed to get her wet for you?

Cause I'm not seeing it.

Before that I defended him, and pretended to be on his side. For this she calls me sick and twisted for defending such an EVIL guy like him.

Hmm.....she called you "sick and twisted" for defending this so-called "evil" guy. Now that's funny.


You're "sick and twisted" for defending him,and yet,she's asking you for advice on how to get this "EVIL GUY" to speak to her again,lol.




You're waaaaaaaay off in left field somewhere man. Danger,Tiguere,DJDamage....they're all right.


Danger said you're friendzoned. BINGO.
Tiguere said you're speaking logic to the girl. BINGO.
And DJDamage said the girl is thriving off the drama. BINGO.



I've been where you are,so I'll just say this flat out.....

You're NOT getting the girl.


She may call you
She may text you
She may even try to meet up with you to talk about and discuss all the drama she's going through,but don't IN ANY WAY mistake any of this as interest because it isn't so.