"This date is going to be purely platonic, right???"

[BigSmooth]

I've had a girl say this to me before when I asked her out. We were clearly flirting with each other and she replies with, "this is a friendly dinner right?"

I told her "nah, I have enough friends" then gave her a knowing wink.

Fvcked her later that night.

This whole interaction was in person by the way...not digitally so who knows what your girl is implying. However, I do not think your situation is the same as mine.

Go with Danger's reply. And asking her to a steak dinner was a huge mistake.

It's ok. You'll learn.

 

[nismo-4]

I like Danger's response, but this is an early Friendzone frame. Bad strategy to suggest steak. Then she was trying you to see if she could get a free dinner!

Dinner dates are only for women you've f**ked.

Case closed.

 

[purebred]

This reminds me of the "I don't play games" tactic many women play.

 

[Bokanovsky]

This is somewhat of a sh1t test.

Just go with it. "sure" is just fine. or "that's cool, I just want to get out." Then don't press for anything.

I put this in the same realm as "you can come in, but we're not having sex." Which usually means an automatic lay.

Also, make sure she pays her half And if she complains say in a serious way: "I liked your idea of us just being friends."

I disagree with the above advice.

My reply would simply be "wrong". Or, as another poster suggested, say "no, platonic would be mcdonalds" (at least it would be pretty funny, even if she gets offended). Inviting a chick for dinner to a fancy restaurant (and presumably paying for her) on a "platonic" date is extremely beta and tantamount to spitting yourself in the face. Remember: if you don't respect yourself, women will not respect you either.

 

[bigneil]

Her: "This is purely platonic, right?"
You: "You're paying for everything, right?"

Her (unoriginal, lame) comment is the equivalent of "Can we be just friends?" for which the answer is "No."

Is she from a different country or something? Maybe it was a bad translation.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Option#1: Don't reply. Be sure, she KNOWS you want a date and is diffusing it ahead of time because she doesn't want you to try any moves, but wants to go have steak at the same time. I'd cancel at the last minute. Steakhouse? After that comment? Fück that, go cheap and ask her to go to a cafe. I'm willing to bet she'll say no or flake on you. This chick is lookin for a free steak dinner.


Option #2: Reply. Say, ''actually this is a 100% pure date''. And she what she says. If she wants Platonic, hit the nuke button and kill it right there. Refuse anything but a date. It'll show she's not going to steer you and get a free steak dinner. I've done this before. No hard feelings, bıtch, you wanna bang her, not be her girlfriend with a penis.

Good luck and let us know how it turns out.

+1
RACK HIM!!!

This is all the advice you need at this point; after getting yourself in this jam.

Best thing to do is to prevent this stuff from happening in the future. You don't imply its a date, she either is interested or not, no need to label it, don't do dinner, you don't "upgrade" to steakhouse, you don't let her take control of the frame.

For the sake of the learning experience, go with the advice given to you by vladPatton, and get a response and learn from it.

In the future, as soon as you get this type of lack of interest, you eject, and ironically, that might help you regain some of the frame.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

God yes, you have to do this one. Awesome comeback. Major props to Danger.

This is a great comeback, WHEN done immediately, not a few hours or days after checking in at SS forum for advice, and when there is some kind of interest/attraction. That type of response will amplify what is there. Zero to the tenth power is still zero.

 

[plate's_empty]

After she says these words: "This date is going to be purely platonic, right???"

What is your goal eventually?

You've got two options:

#1 don't go out with her

#2 go out with her

What happens between the time she says those words and you go out with her is up to you. Will her, by making an official statement that it's a date, change how she feels about you? If you force her to say it's a "date" will her attraction for you go up?

I honestly don't know. Does it change her frame of mind? Does she say, wow this guy means business.

I understand the point of view of most of the posters.

I feel this is just one of the many $hit tests girls like to give, as I've said before. Also, she may be saying that to take the pressure off of the both of you. Getting all dolled up for a first date at a nice restaraunt (you've already gotten whipped for this one OP by previous posters so I won't rub salt in your wounds) can be a little too much for her. What if during the date she decides doesn't like you? What happens when you walk her to the door and go for a kiss at the end of the night?

Making that statement is an exit strategy for her. She doesn't want to lead you on. She doesn't know how she feels about you....yet. That's what the date is for.

I also feel that hanging on her words of whether or not it's a date, and only going out with her if she decides it's a date....is beta.

Alpha: "whatever babe, just make sure you look nice. I'll take it from here."

Last thing you want to do right now is get your panties in a bunch and start crying about it until she labels it an official date. You don't know if you want to be any more than friends with her either (that's the frame right? or did you already profess your love to her?). I guess if you already have a wedding date in mind you might want to make her say it's a date. That way, at least until the date, you'll feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

 

[Trump]

She agreed in principle to go out to dinner. (Yes, I know, rookie mistake, should have proposed a light lunch instead since it's less involved. I should not have proposed a steak house either.)

So I kept her in suspense for a while until the week of the planned "date".

Today I asked her if she likes a certain restaurant. She replies that she likes it a lot.

But then she also writes back, ""This is purely Platonic right????"

What the heck do I say?

Zarky is right, she is trying to bait you and set the frame, have to put it back on her.

Don't get hooked and answer her question and talk about yourself. Focus on what you want. Otherwise she'll find holes in your response and get you frustrated.

 

[TheKongoEmpire]

Option#1: Don't reply. Be sure, she KNOWS you want a date and is diffusing it ahead of time because she doesn't want you to try any moves, but wants to go have steak at the same time. I'd cancel at the last minute. Steakhouse? After that comment? Fück that, go cheap and ask her to go to a cafe. I'm willing to bet she'll say no or flake on you. This chick is lookin for a free steak dinner.


Option #2: Reply. Say, ''actually this is a 100% pure date''. And she what she says. If she wants Platonic, hit the nuke button and kill it right there. Refuse anything but a date. It'll show she's not going to steer you and get a free steak dinner. I've done this before. No hard feelings, bıtch, you wanna bang her, not be her girlfriend with a penis.

Good luck and let us know how it turns out.

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