I got my sh1t together at the age of 34, after many years of crippling depression.
This sheds a lot of light on things. You suffer(ed) from a clinical mental illness. You need to be aware how this affects your worldview.
Maybe you are generating too much negative energy and high quality women are picking up on that.
^^^ and not just high quality women. Women in general. They can smell insecurity and low confidence like a shark can smell a drop of blood from a thousand miles away. They pick up on it better than we can. It's a biological sixth sense they have to screen for weak males.
What I'm reading is a refusal to take complete ownership for yourself. You blame women, blame social media, blame yourself. You consume
way too much of the red pill stuff to the point where it's poisonous. I'm not saying the red pill is poison -- the poison is in the dose. You're ODing on this sh!t dude.
Here's a healthy way of framing your situation.
"I suffered from mental illness throughout my life, and finally managed to get it handled at 34. I realize that I must have put a lot of people off, including women, with my negativity. I can't blame them. I wouldn't have wanted to be around me either.
Once I had my illness under control, I began grinding on a career path that I wanted. I met a few women online, nothing came of those dates. I'm sure I wasn't acting as confidently and attractively as I could have. I was just getting out a decades-long funk and my game wasn't exactly A-level. Regardless, I let those few failed dates discourage me from approaching more women -- online, and in person -- because it depressed me. I felt defeated. I tried ignoring the nagging voice that the only reason women were turned off was because I didn't yet have a secure career, but I let it get the better of me.
However, now I have the job I was after. My confidence shot up, my happiness shot up, and women have definitely picked up on that. I realize that all my bitterness and frustration at women wasn't their fault -- it was
mine. I also got a hair transplant which worked out, and I'm now on a dedicated exercise regimen to get into the best shape of my life. Maybe I won't settle down and marry, maybe I will, who knows. If that right woman comes along, I'd like to. It would be nice. But for now, I'm living life for me."
Take responsibility for your life. That means taking responsibility for your attitude. It's a choice.