This absolutely baffles me about dating

[Atom Smasher]

how is that different than women? like I said, you can't even get a date on a dating site or bar/club scene nowadays unless you're nearly perfect looking (and then personality/character come in to play)

I found my girl on a dating site, and she is gorgeous, the true essence of the word, "pretty". I had one picture up, not even a close-up.

She sent a "smile", because it was my words that attracted her. I demonstrated my value by expressing my true essence in my profile.

I think bars/clubs are an exercise in futility. These are places that are packed with ultra-low quality women and hungry, desperate men. How can a woman differentiate men in such a scene? That's where looks come into play more than anywhere else. She can't gauge your personality in that environment. It's all ridiculously superficial, and it's a no-win situation for most men.

I believe in fishing in less fished waters. Women can easily be reeled in when you have a chance to use the enormous leverage of personality with women whom you find attractive. In my case of OLD, I simply created a well-written, thoughtful profile that would attract my kind of girl, and simply let it sit there as bait. I would get plenty of nibbles from ugly and average women, and an occasional good one.

Men cannot be universally attractive like women can. Every average man can only be attractive to a subset of women. If you gear your life to attracting that subset, you will not experience lack.

One of the most damaging beliefs that men have is that they need to be universally attractive. Mother nature doesn't allow that, so it's futile to try. Men start acting like women when they believe this. They don't even know they are acting like women.

Be a man of boldness, strike the right balance of good appearance without primping, set up your life to attract your kind of woman, and watch what happens. Suddenly you will find yourself getting much better results.

 

[bigdave17]

I found my girl on a dating site, and she is gorgeous, the true essence of the word, "pretty". I had one picture up, not even a close-up.

She sent a "smile", because it was my words that attracted her. I demonstrated my value by expressing my true essence in my profile.

I think bars/clubs are an exercise in futility. These are places that are packed with ultra-low quality women and hungry, desperate men. How can a woman differentiate men in such a scene? That's where looks come into play more than anywhere else. She can't gauge your personality in that environment. It's all ridiculously superficial, and it's a no-win situation for most men.

I believe in fishing in less fished waters. Women can easily be reeled in when you have a chance to use the enormous leverage of personality with women whom you find attractive. In my case of OLD, I simply created a well-written, thoughtful profile that would attract my kind of girl, and simply let it sit there as bait. I would get plenty of nibbles from ugly and average women, and an occasional good one.

Men cannot be universally attractive like women can. Every average man can only be attractive to a subset of women. If you gear your life to attracting that subset, you will not experience lack.

One of the most damaging beliefs that men have is that they need to be universally attractive. Mother nature doesn't allow that, so it's futile to try. Men start acting like women when they believe this. They don't even know they are acting like women.

Be a man of boldness, strike the right balance of good appearance without primping, set up your life to attract your kind of woman, and watch what happens. Suddenly you will find yourself getting much better results.

You got very lucky dude. Didn't you say you are in your 50's? How old is your woman? If she is over 33-35, then this conversation is irrelevant. Women over 35 have no standards. The conversation here is the 22-29 age range (which have nearly impossible standards)


I work very very hard on having a nearly perfect appearance but it's a masculine perfect appearance. I have big muscles, thick neck, very heavily masculine facial features with a strong jawline but I balance that with having near perfect skin with no blemishes, nice hair, nice teeth, etc... The key is I don't make it look like I really try. It looks like I just have perfect skin naturally. I dress very very stylish/upscale but it's mostly masculine colors like black and dark grey and dark blue. My hands are rough and calloused from lifting heavy weights. Still, I would never get any replies on dating sites considering I want somebody really cute and my age range with no kids. I'm like a 7.5/10 and women who are 7-9s my age on dating sites want a 10/10 male


when you say set up your life to attract that kind of woman, what do you mean? I feel like my life outside of dating is pretty damn close to perfect. I make a ton of money, have a super fun/active/busy lifestyle, etc...

 

[Spaz]

You got very lucky dude. Didn't you say you are in your 50's? How old is your woman? If she is over 33-35, then this conversation is irrelevant. Women over 35 have no standards. The conversation here is the 22-29 age range (which have nearly impossible standards)


I work very very hard on having a nearly perfect appearance but it's a masculine perfect appearance. I have big muscles, thick neck, very heavily masculine facial features with a strong jawline but I balance that with having near perfect skin with no blemishes, nice hair, nice teeth, etc... The key is I don't make it look like I really try. It looks like I just have perfect skin naturally. I dress very very stylish/upscale but it's mostly masculine colors like black and dark grey and dark blue. My hands are rough and calloused from lifting heavy weights. Still, I would never get any replies on dating sites considering I want somebody really cute and my age range with no kids. I'm like a 7.5/10 and women who are 7-9s my age on dating sites want a 10/10 male


when you say set up your life to attract that kind of woman, what do you mean? I feel like my life outside of dating is pretty damn close to perfect. I make a ton of money, have a super fun/active/busy lifestyle, etc...

Wrong.

Atom is spot on ( @Atom Smasher, the shoes thingy - in that we think alike).

What's he's trying to convey, is the essence of manhood. A part if it.

Manhood is not something you are born with or able to fully comprehend just by reading but its something tangible that needs to be mentored in by a village of manly man and it takes years of practice to fully sink into your psyche.

The essence of manhood attracts all females - not only beautiful young women but also female babies. It's timeless in its attractions.

When you have that essence, you'll automatically have presence - an aura that even animals will sense.

 

[Atom Smasher]

You got very lucky dude. Didn't you say you are in your 50's? How old is your woman? If she is over 33-35, then this conversation is irrelevant. Women over 35 have no standards. The conversation here is the 22-29 age range (which have nearly impossible standards)


I work very very hard on having a nearly perfect appearance but it's a masculine perfect appearance. I have big muscles, thick neck, very heavily masculine facial features with a strong jawline but I balance that with having near perfect skin with no blemishes, nice hair, nice teeth, etc... The key is I don't make it look like I really try. It looks like I just have perfect skin naturally. I dress very very stylish/upscale but it's mostly masculine colors like black and dark grey and dark blue. My hands are rough and calloused from lifting heavy weights. Still, I would never get any replies on dating sites considering I want somebody really cute and my age range with no kids. I'm like a 7.5/10 and women who are 7-9s my age on dating sites want a 10/10 male


when you say set up your life to attract that kind of woman, what do you mean? I feel like my life outside of dating is pretty damn close to perfect. I make a ton of money, have a super fun/active/busy lifestyle, etc...

“But too often does youth think that age knows only the wisdom of days that are gone, and therefore profits not. But remember this; the sun that shines today is the sun that shone when thy father was born, and will still be shining when thy last grandchild shall pass into the darkness.”
~Arkad from "The Richest Man in Babylon" by George S. Clason

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I need someone a few years younger than me

Poor people need money. Starving people need food. Most never get it. Let that sink it.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

who told you this?

Basic common sense. Women read body language a billion times better than men.

One study showed a bunch of men a bunch of baby pictures and had them guess the emotions based only on the baby's facial expression.

Men guessed about 3-4 different emotions. (happy, sad, scared, angry)

Women guessed a couple dozen different emotions.

When you are standing on one end of the bar contemplating all the BILLION obstacles, every girl can READ THAT on your face. You radiate, a VERY UNATTRACTIVE mix of entitlement, desperation and fear.

Most DUDES on this board read all that through your text.

Consider that women read this same UNATTRACTIVE mix of emotions a thousand times more powerful in REAL TIME.

And spare us all the details of all the hot girls who you aren't attracted to who keep throwing themselves at you.

Talking to girls you are ATTRACTED TO with a calm sense of detachment is the game.

One you absolutely SUCK at.

 

[bigdave17]

No offense, but you sound very negative. You harp on: good looking men (10's you call them even if no one else does, especially women) who date down, or conversely, ugly men who date up.

You must have had at least ONE positive dating experience, one girl you dated in your life. Probably a lot more than that at some point in your life. What were you doing right? How do you replicate your past success now? Let's start there.

I've had tons and tons of women in my life who've liked me, the problem is none of them have been my type. I want a quality mid to late 20s cute, hot body, ethnic woman (preferably spanish or middle eastern) with no kids

dating is easy...until you have standards

 

[HankHill]

Can we just block @bigdave17 from creating new threads here because this is futile. I'm serious. I don't want him banned but I think the repeat of the same saga is becoming overbearing.

 

[devilkingx2]

I see couples in public where the man is very mediocre in every way and the woman is attractive/high quality in most ways. How does this happen considering that you can't even get a date on a dating site nowadays unless you're a solid 8+/10, 6'0+, white (ethnic only ok if you look heavily European like mixed), etc... Real life approaching is about the same - you're not getting any kind of reasonable success rate unless you're the super elite. I'm very good to elite in most areas and even I'm not good enough.

Have you considered that because you're not gay you have no idea what an attractive man actually is/looks like?

Have you also considered that evaluating a man's looks is only a part of the package? Not every girl solely dates on looks. Sometimes you just gotta look good enough and make it up elsewhere

 

[devilkingx2]

loooool


I can go to Chicago and easily get a hot mid 30s career women. That's the age range they finally have reasonable standards

If you could do that you would do that.

 

[sosousage]

I see couples in public where the man is very mediocre in every way and the woman is attractive/high quality in most ways. How does this happen considering that you can't even get a date on a dating site nowadays unless you're a solid 8+/10, 6'0+, white (ethnic only ok if you look heavily European like mixed), etc... Real life approaching is about the same - you're not getting any kind of reasonable success rate unless you're the super elite. I'm very good to elite in most areas and even I'm not good enough.

So these guys who are very average in every regard with quality women, what are they doing?

1)are they just approaching a billion times and being okay with 1 yes for the billion rejections?

2)are they meeting these women through friends or work or school to where they can interact with them over and over? So why do these women settle for a 4/10 when they can get a 10/10 rich chad in 30 seconds going on match.com? Does the daily interaction make them fall for the avg male even despite her easily having a million times better options?

I'm very curious what you guys say about this?

through friends llike most people probably, likely have ok jobs and likable characters

 

[zekko]

I dunno if I believe this nonsense that women care more about personality than men do

There are more factors at play when men attract women. Usually they talk about Looks, Money, Status, Game. Men are only attracted by looks, so the fact that there are more variables for women means that they HAVE to care more about personality than men do. It's a mathematical certainty.

That's not to say that men don't care about personality, they do. It's just not an attraction factor, it comes into play AFTER you are attracted, in what I call the filter stage, when you start to filter out/qualify attractive women based on their traits.

 

[bigdave17]

Men are only attracted by looks

What??? I'm more picky on non looks things than most women are


Character
Morals
Religion
Smoking
Whether they have kids or not

etc...

 

[Spaz]

Zekko has already mentioned it in his post.....