Thinking of your ex? Nuke it for good.

[Onion]

You love her, she's the best girl you've ever been with. No other girl could even come close to her. You've shared many memories, great places, lots of history together. You even introduced her to untie Maggie ... you get the picture!

While you have been daydreaming a life together, out of the blue she says she wants a break. This site has thought you what it means. Deep down you know the relationship is doomed. You know she wants out. You know she's gone.

You jump from site to site looking for the best article to win her back. You watch endless videos on how to keep no contact in the hope that she'll miss you. You ask friends how she's been and what's she's been up to. You'll do anything to have the girl of your dreams.

Getting back together with an ex: haven’t we all considered it at one point or another? It would be so easy to slip right back into that comfortable routine, picking up where you left off. So it is a bad idea. Here are some of the reasons why.

The fights are the same
The physical attraction might not be there anymore
Other options have got her attention
A percentage of your time together genuinely made you very unhappy
She f**ked someone else in the interim
your friends and family hate her
Stats prove it's a bad idea. Yes 99% of the time it will fail and fail badly causing you even more anguish and hurt than before

So now that we established it's a no no getting your ex back, how do you make sure you get over her quickly and move on?

Nuke it! Yes you read that right. Nuke it badly. You see part of your drive trying to get your ex back is these lingering thoughts you Harbour telling you she's still loves you and she's not totally over you even if you know she's probably dating a rebound or even f**king around. You feel given enough pressure and incentives she'll see the good side of you and change her mind for a second, third, fourth chance. Your best bet is to make sure she'll never ever reconsider her decision to have you back.

You tell her exactly what you think of her. Tell her how conniving, heartless b!tch she has been and how much she was inconsiderate she was when she broke up with you. Tell her everything she's wronged you and how she made you feel. Tell her you'd never ever look back and you'd never ever consider getting back together again.

Then you walk away. This, not only will help you to kill off any remaining thoughts of 'she loves me she loves me not' bs but helps you to get things of your chest and walk away with dignity and pride intact.

I did that...

 

[Atom Smasher]

In other words, tell her what a weak, affected victim you are.

That's not gonna play here. All you're doing is making it easy for her to convince herself that she made the right decision to dump you as you're demonstrating weakness in this behavior.

This allows her to get "closure" and feel just fine about her decision to dump you.

Better is to flip the script. When she says, "I need a break", you agree and even tell her you were going to suggest the same thing. Act like you're relieved. Then you go ghost. She will go into a tailspin of self-doubt, and will start reaching out in one way or another.

Unloading anger and hurt on a girl always paves the way for her to convince herself that she shouldn't be with you and that her decision was the right one.

 

[miketan70]

If you see that she really REALLY is not interested anymore. Let her go. If you try, you will get her back, MAYBE. But for how long, month or 2? So, once things are not good anymore between 2 people, let it be! Work on your personality to be able to move on as fast as possible. I never understood why people do not accept the fact that it is over.

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

In other words, tell her what a weak, affected victim you are.


- who gives a sh|t what she thinks ?

That's not gonna play here. All you're doing is making it easy for her to convince herself that she made the right decision to dump you as you're demonstrating weakness in this behavior.

This allows her to get "closure" and feel just fine about her decision to dump you.

- who gives a sh|t what she thinks ?

Better is to flip the script. When she says, "I need a break", you agree and even tell her you were going to suggest the same thing. Act like you're relieved. Then you go ghost. She will go into a tailspin of self-doubt, and will start reaching out in one way or another.

-WTF ? OP is right and you are wrong - you should never allow to reach for yourself if you got hurt.It means your feelings means nothing.

Unloading anger and hurt on a girl always paves the way for her to convince herself that she shouldn't be with you and that her decision was the right one.

- WHO gives a sh|t what she thinks ?

The OP is right.You should not giving slightest fvck about her thoughts, she thinks she did right ? So what ? What I see here is NC is used as tool to get ex back, how many months and years will be wasted with secret hope that -you did the 'alpha male breakup' - she will come back ?

Your strategy is very risky as you must lose months,years, and many many great women because deep down you know door is still open.

SHUT THE DOOR AND BE FREE.NEVER LET HOPE LIVE - IT WILL LIMIT YOUR LIFE AND YOUR HAPPINESS.SHE DIDNT GIVE YOU SECOND CHANCE SO SHE DESERVE NO SECOND CHANCE TOO.YOU GUYS NEED TO STOP BEING PUSSIES - IF SOMEONE SLAPS YOU IN THE FACE THERE IS NO PLACE FOR HER IN YOUR LIFE EVER.HAVE SOME HONOUR.

 

[Atom Smasher]

When she says she wants a break there is no hope. It's over.

You avoid regret and obtain the stronger frame by not dumping your little girl emotions on her. It's already over. Your job now is to move on.

Moving on is that much easier when you flip the script and act like a man. Why have her running around thinking and telling her friends what an out-of-control loser you are (after your unloading your hurt feelings on her)?

More importantly, your crying to her about how mean she was to you also makes YOU feel weak inside, because it is in fact weak.

Instead you go away, live your life, and let her wonder forever if she made the right decision.

You say the OP is right, but in fact he is talking about demonstrating to her that he cares a whole lot about what she thinks by dumping out his emotions on her.

My point is that when she asks for a break, it is OVER. Leave with dignity by leaving in an unaffected way. Don't give her the satisfaction and gratification that comes with your crying out your heart to her about how bad she hurt you.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

In other words, tell her what a weak, affected victim you are.

That's not gonna play here. All you're doing is making it easy for her to convince herself that she made the right decision to dump you as you're demonstrating weakness in this behavior.

This allows her to get "closure" and feel just fine about her decision to dump you.

Better is to flip the script. When she says, "I need a break", you agree and even tell her you were going to suggest the same thing. Act like you're relieved. Then you go ghost. She will go into a tailspin of self-doubt, and will start reaching out in one way or another.

Unloading anger and hurt on a girl always paves the way for her to convince herself that she shouldn't be with you and that her decision was the right one.

Wow, posts like this are why I legitimately feel fortunate to have found this site.

 

[SmooveMooves]

When she says she wants a break there is no hope. It's over.

You avoid regret and obtain the stronger frame by not dumping your little girl emotions on her. It's already over. Your job now is to move on.

Moving on is that much easier when you flip the script and act like a man. Why have her running around thinking and telling her friends what an out-of-control loser you are (after your unloading your hurt feelings on her)?

More importantly, your crying to her about how mean she was to you also makes YOU feel weak inside, because it is in fact weak.

Instead you go away, live your life, and let her wonder forever if she made the right decision.

You say the OP is right, but in fact he is talking about demonstrating to her that he cares a whole lot about what she thinks by dumping out his emotions on her.

My point is that when she asks for a break, it is OVER. Leave with dignity by leaving in an unaffected way. Don't give her the satisfaction and gratification that comes with your crying out your heart to her about how bad she hurt you.

Like seriously. You think people on SS would know this by now. NC wasn't even made for guys to get there chicks back. Its just so effective at maintaining frame and power that often times that's what it can lead to.

However, NC is for the man. It's so he can move on, forget about her, and rewire his mind. Knowing that he left a relationship with pride and respect. Not like a pūssy like you're advocating for.

Crying, er... 'Telling her what she is' like a pūssy when you get dumped is not a nuke. It's just a pūssy move. It also makes you look stupid, cause if she's the conniving little bítch you say she is, then why tf were you dating her?

Then she goes and run around to tell the neighborhood how hurt you were when she left you.

You may not think what she thinks matters, but how you're perceived and how you perceive yourself plays a factor into being a HVM. (High Value Man)

I wouldn't think very highly of myself if told off, er 'nuked' a woman whose dumped me.

How about having the will power to simply, not talk to her. No that'd be to easy.

 

[Yorkex]

When I broke up with my ex & she started dating again I panicked and tried to get her back. We talked and I even sexed her but I figured she was into the dude and wanted me as back up. I took 1 week NC & i called her to meet up ; I'm guessing she thought I was going to pour my heart out to her again.

I simply told her , I wish her luck and I'm moving on. I found a new chick I'm going to take serious...she asked about what the future & i told her to forget about it because after what I seen it won't work out.

Difference is I completely meant every word I said to her. I found a few plates I'm spinning now. Working on my self & confidence ; enjoying the things I used to love again. I showed her that she was a low value to have a boyfriend and sleep with me then I moved from her obiters role. Didn't acknowledge her birthday or graduation. Simply put , I don't care about IT anymore.

If she reaches out , I will reject again & if she doesn't who cares .

 

[EvilSpirit22]

A man should always have a strong frame and should always be in control of his emotions. What OP is saying, would actually show how weak you are that you cannot deal with a breakup and lose your control just because of a silly thing.


Your gf would solidify her opinion about you. I agree you don't want her but then why would you act like a jackass who just lost control of his emotions.


If you don't care you are never going to NUKE her... You would rather be happy that she made this decision.

 

[Onion]

The idea that you 'shouldn't show emotions' or 'agree and amply' is flawed in my opinion. You cared enough to be in a relationship with her and no matter how much you try and hide your true feelings, she's no fool. She knows you are hurting. If you didn't want the relationship you'd be the one not her calling it off in the first place , so why pretend all is well when she chooses to pull the plug on it?

Showing indifference is good and I agree but only in a functional relationship when you are subjected to endless sh!t test. When she finaly decides to end it why do you have to care what she thinks? Some of your views above doesn't and wouldn't prove a point. In her eyes you are an expired good she's happy to see the back of and trying to emulate or pretend emotionless is weak and pathetic.

Of course don't shout or scream or treaten her physically. That would be stupid. But be calm collective and make a strong point about what made you unhappy in the whole affair making sure she gets the point she's never ever welcome in your life again. Not only it will help you to move on but teaches her a valuable lesson in things she fvcked up in this relationship. More importantly you know and confirm to yourself that there is no way back to her, ever.

 

[Onion]

Remember, this is about you and not her. This is reinforcing to you there is no way you'd consider this girl back in your life. If you're concerned what she thinks afte the breakup, you lost. If you want her to regret her decision, you lost. If you're worried what she'd say to your circles, you lost. This advice is entirely for you and about you only, not her.

 

[djthiago1]

Remember, this is about you and not her. This is reinforcing to you there is no way you'd consider this girl back in your life. If you concerned what she thinks afte the breakup, you lost. If you want her to regret her decision, you lost. If you're worried what she'd say to your circles, you lost. This advice is entirely for you and about you only, not her.

Makes sense.

 

[Onion]

I agree with this advice especially for beginners for whom no contact is not realistic
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=207528

Brilliant! Didn't realize there's such a post but he said it better than I could.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

I use to do what OP is saying in my late teens early 20's. Being dumped out of the blue does suck so I understand why he feels the needs to do this.

Some day you will need to break this cycle, otherwise you will continue to do this in all your relationships. You would be surprise how much better you feel when you do take the "higher" road and not tear into them & rip them a new a**hole. The relationship is over f*ck it. Take that energy and put it into something productive not negative. Read about emotional intelligence, expand your mind.

With age, experience, wisdom you will become better with relationships and see when and if they start to fall apart so you are not the one being dumped.

DUMP them first and avoid this whole "Nuke it for good" epiphany.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Agreed with Smasher on this one.

'Nuking' in this sense is an emotional response. Nine times out of ten, she nuked you first because you were being too emotional in the first place. There is only room for one emotional response in a given situation. Nine times out of ten, she needs room to be emotional; if a man is emotional, there is no room for her to be.

As the old adage goes, better to say nothing and be presumed a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

To those who say, 'Who cares what she thinks (if I 'nuke' her)?', I say, if you truly didn't care what she thinks, you wouldn't feels the need to say anything at all. You'd just move on. In silence.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Just an addition: I absolutely advocate telling a woman what you're displeased with. I believe very strongly in holding women responsible for their words and actions.

It's all in the delivery. A calm, matter-of-fact statement of what bothers you about her is all that is necessary. This kills women because they want to draw you into an argument in order to confuse you and get that closure. When you lose your cool, they win.

When you calmly state why she didn't live up to your expectations she can barely stand it because you're maintaining your controlled, masculine center, and therefore in her mind YOU MUST BE RIGHT! She would never admit this, but she feels it.

You walk away with self-respect, and she walks away schooled.

 

[zorg198]

Let me tell you this ,

My ex told me she needs a break, she dose't know how she feels. all the common phrases.

I begged , cried , she didn't care. i was a mess. i moved on. 3 months in NC- no peed out of her. she cares? hell no! she moved on after one week with another dude , sucking his c0ck.

I wrote her i will never contact her again , so i did - 3 months.

Now i'm dating another chick . it was hard? hell yeah... but that's life.

Joe.