Well, I wasted nearly all of my 20s. I'm 28 now. Long story short, yeah, I've never had a girlfriend. I'd amassed nearly a million dollars in my early 20s with a massive business I spent every last minute on, and it's all gone now. Before that, I had been religiously indoctrinated. I have been working for so long trying to continue on. While everybody else is having fun, I'm looking at a grim future. I'm actually living at my parents house right now working on my degree. Nobody really understands my situation. I'm sure they just think I'm stupid or something. I was on top, and now I'm on bottom. Sometimes I think about moving to another country or something. Help guys. Need encouragement.
Thinking of giving up. Somebody think they have it worse? I don't know about that
- Thread starter esun
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Why are you looking at a grim future? You're working on a degree!esun said:
Who else out there is having fun? What are they doing that you aren't to have so much fun?
Dude, you've done fantastically financially in the past; it can and will happen again. Especially with that degree you're working on, and the experience you already have. Hello?
I'm going to guess that the religion you've been indoctrinated with is Catholic, one of the most psychologically damaging ones out there.
If you think you can cut it better in another country, why the hell not? With your experience and future degree, I'm sure that there's a country out there that'll give you the opportunity of a lifetime.
As for never having a girlfriend, this is going to take time. I personally reccommend David DeAngelo's material, because it tailored EXACTLY for guys like you. Just download some of his stuff from BitSeduce, grab a notepad, and watch a few of his programs, namely Deep Inner Game and One Being A Man.
killahpl
Don Juan
Hi there,
if nothing else, I think it's great that you've come here!
Let me digress for a moment and say that this is what happens when a person focuses too much on one area of their life and ignores another - especially as important an area as relationships with women!
We're men! We want them, we want sex from them, but somehow many of us do a great job of committing our minds to something else entirely, possibly not to have to face the fact that we suck at attracting women so badly; whether its focusing entirely on our job, on playing games, on writing fiction - I bet many of the guys who come here who are no good with women have some other area of interest that precludes them from facing the music. By your own admission, yours was you work.
That being said, you're 28 now and you've got no experience. I've got little experience, but I probably feel no better than you.
But you know what? That Master of the Universe guy has started a thread with a challenge for guys struggling with women. Sign up for it! I already have!
Because you know what, when guys like you and me still have little or no experience at this age (and a lot of pent-up frustration to boot, I bet), IT'S GOING TAKE NOTHING LESS THAN DOING SOMETHING RADICAL to let us snap out of it.
I'm already feeling anxious just thinking about what that guy has planned for those who take him up on his challenge.
Listen, novody's going to feel sorry for you here - believe, I've tried playing that game here, and the guys here, they don't play that game!
This is what I'm saying to you; if your frustration and anger are bigger than your fear and insecurity, sign up and fvckin' do whatever it takes to turn your life around!
if nothing else, I think it's great that you've come here!
Let me digress for a moment and say that this is what happens when a person focuses too much on one area of their life and ignores another - especially as important an area as relationships with women!
We're men! We want them, we want sex from them, but somehow many of us do a great job of committing our minds to something else entirely, possibly not to have to face the fact that we suck at attracting women so badly; whether its focusing entirely on our job, on playing games, on writing fiction - I bet many of the guys who come here who are no good with women have some other area of interest that precludes them from facing the music. By your own admission, yours was you work.
That being said, you're 28 now and you've got no experience. I've got little experience, but I probably feel no better than you.
But you know what? That Master of the Universe guy has started a thread with a challenge for guys struggling with women. Sign up for it! I already have!
Because you know what, when guys like you and me still have little or no experience at this age (and a lot of pent-up frustration to boot, I bet), IT'S GOING TAKE NOTHING LESS THAN DOING SOMETHING RADICAL to let us snap out of it.
I'm already feeling anxious just thinking about what that guy has planned for those who take him up on his challenge.
Listen, novody's going to feel sorry for you here - believe, I've tried playing that game here, and the guys here, they don't play that game!
This is what I'm saying to you; if your frustration and anger are bigger than your fear and insecurity, sign up and fvckin' do whatever it takes to turn your life around!
I've heard so many stories from people that were in very similar situations; at one point they're "on top of the world" living large and the next it's all gone. You're missing the real issue here completely, though. Why is it that you are feeling so sh!tty? Is it really because you "lost everything"? Well, that is part of the answer, certainly. But that is not the krux of the issue here; the real reason that people that are in your situation feel so negatively is not simply because they've "lost everything". It is much deeper.
The real reason is because through losing everything you realized that what you focused your entire life on building and what you put all of your effort into for years was merely a means of filling a void in your own self consciousness, and so now that you've lost it all you not only have to deal with the problem of having that void once again but also you have to deal with the realization that all the work you put into filling that void was completely misdirected and not a real solution to your problem.
I mean damn, I'd probably feel pretty ****ty for a while too if I lost a million dollars; I'd feel really ****ty. But eventually I'd realize that it's not a huge deal in the bigger picture, that I'm still me and I still have my friends and family (which is what really matters to me) and that I need to pick myself up and move on. The reason I can do that so quickly, regardless of what happens to me, is because I'm confident in myself and am content with who I am. The money to me was an enhancement to life, and so because I wasn't using it to fill a void and to prop myself up with, it's not as essential to me.
This obviously isn't the case for you. You depended on the money to help prop up your self esteem. Losing that prop not only made you fall but also made you realize that your prop was a complete farce. That is where all of your pain is coming from.
You need to work on yourself. You need to reevaluate your self and figure out how to not fill the void but to remove it entirely. When you learn to be completely content in yourself success will organically follow (and of course as you become more confident and content in yourself success will take on a new meaning entirely).
The real reason is because through losing everything you realized that what you focused your entire life on building and what you put all of your effort into for years was merely a means of filling a void in your own self consciousness, and so now that you've lost it all you not only have to deal with the problem of having that void once again but also you have to deal with the realization that all the work you put into filling that void was completely misdirected and not a real solution to your problem.
I mean damn, I'd probably feel pretty ****ty for a while too if I lost a million dollars; I'd feel really ****ty. But eventually I'd realize that it's not a huge deal in the bigger picture, that I'm still me and I still have my friends and family (which is what really matters to me) and that I need to pick myself up and move on. The reason I can do that so quickly, regardless of what happens to me, is because I'm confident in myself and am content with who I am. The money to me was an enhancement to life, and so because I wasn't using it to fill a void and to prop myself up with, it's not as essential to me.
This obviously isn't the case for you. You depended on the money to help prop up your self esteem. Losing that prop not only made you fall but also made you realize that your prop was a complete farce. That is where all of your pain is coming from.
You need to work on yourself. You need to reevaluate your self and figure out how to not fill the void but to remove it entirely. When you learn to be completely content in yourself success will organically follow (and of course as you become more confident and content in yourself success will take on a new meaning entirely).
do yourself a favor bro.
read this book
man's search for meaning
by victor Frankiln
promisse you will learn something
there is always people that have it worse....think germany, WWII. concentration camps. that book will open your eyes... there is more to life than meets the eye. You just need to realize that you are alive
how many people would be joyful of the thought of being alive, many people have terminal diseases, people are getting killed in earthquakes every year.... think last month's chile's earthquake.
how many people are would do anything to go back to school have a degree. or live with their parents for support, because they can't support themselves.... you are only 28, I'm 25.... if i was single again, I'd just pick myself up and walk out the door to meet some women
dude, it doesn't matter if you are 90 years old, you get to decide how you wanna live your life, and how attractive you are, and how women see you... its UP TO YOU.
i think you need some work to do,, I would suggest you seek a psychologist, and do some CBT cognitive behavior therapy to get you started in changing the way you see yourself, your life, and the future.... you need to learn to change your beliefs, your emotions, and your behaviors. If you take care of this now, you will live your 30s with great success..
if you didn't know 30s are the years of ultimate maturity for males, it represents manhood, and women look for guys in their 30s, hell i look forward to being 30 in the future as a better man than I am today
take care bro and seek help.
it's worth it
read this book
man's search for meaning
by victor Frankiln
promisse you will learn something
there is always people that have it worse....think germany, WWII. concentration camps. that book will open your eyes... there is more to life than meets the eye. You just need to realize that you are alive
how many people would be joyful of the thought of being alive, many people have terminal diseases, people are getting killed in earthquakes every year.... think last month's chile's earthquake.
how many people are would do anything to go back to school have a degree. or live with their parents for support, because they can't support themselves.... you are only 28, I'm 25.... if i was single again, I'd just pick myself up and walk out the door to meet some women
dude, it doesn't matter if you are 90 years old, you get to decide how you wanna live your life, and how attractive you are, and how women see you... its UP TO YOU.
i think you need some work to do,, I would suggest you seek a psychologist, and do some CBT cognitive behavior therapy to get you started in changing the way you see yourself, your life, and the future.... you need to learn to change your beliefs, your emotions, and your behaviors. If you take care of this now, you will live your 30s with great success..
if you didn't know 30s are the years of ultimate maturity for males, it represents manhood, and women look for guys in their 30s, hell i look forward to being 30 in the future as a better man than I am today
take care bro and seek help.
it's worth it
Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
DJDeMarco32
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Move to another country and START OVER. A fresh start can be amazing.
I could recommend Europe, Canada, Australia as continents/countries with booming diverse cities, that are saturated with young, smart, good looking available women.
Also Asia, Africa, and South America will provide you with the most amazingly beautiful women without needing your million dollars. Your earning POTENTIAL is enough. LOL
LEAVE NOW.
DeMarco
I could recommend Europe, Canada, Australia as continents/countries with booming diverse cities, that are saturated with young, smart, good looking available women.
Also Asia, Africa, and South America will provide you with the most amazingly beautiful women without needing your million dollars. Your earning POTENTIAL is enough. LOL
LEAVE NOW.
DeMarco
The Decay of Meaning
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We are actually in a quite similar situation. I'm moving either to Tokyo, Singapore or Barcelona next year. I need a fresh start but so do you.
I've been doing quite okay in business as well. I have a feeling maybe not all is lost? What kind of business was it? Even if "all is lost", you managed to make that amount of money before, and you probably will again. It's in the nature of capital allocators.
Decay's 5 step cure for depression:
1. Style yourself up
Pluck eyebrows
Get a cool haircut
Get some cool clothes
Fix skin if you don't have a good complexion
2. Learn a few dance moves from youtube and practice in front of a mirror
3. Get drunk
4. Hit the bar
5. Make out with girls
Repeat until reasonably happy, and then try to fix your life slowly but steadily.
I've been doing quite okay in business as well. I have a feeling maybe not all is lost? What kind of business was it? Even if "all is lost", you managed to make that amount of money before, and you probably will again. It's in the nature of capital allocators.
Decay's 5 step cure for depression:
1. Style yourself up
Pluck eyebrows
Get a cool haircut
Get some cool clothes
Fix skin if you don't have a good complexion
2. Learn a few dance moves from youtube and practice in front of a mirror
3. Get drunk
4. Hit the bar
5. Make out with girls
Repeat until reasonably happy, and then try to fix your life slowly but steadily.
its easy to overlook your abilities when it seems like your experience a low point along your life path. You will only succeed when you recognize the actions you took that got you to the high point in your life. Sometimes these painful moments, as awful as they are, are just marking points that teach you what to avoid in life. Always a yin and a yang; a good side and a bad side, a happy and a sad to each situations in life. Being that you've encountered serious failures after great success can teach you serious lessons in your behavior and life decisions when rebuilding success in your life. Hang in there man. I've had down times in my life and now I'm really starting to pick up momentum. I hope you learn to move past your failures. May you be blessed
NeedToImprove
Senior Don Juan
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i feel your pain bro im in the situation
Obviously you have never been outside of your country. Africa? Huh? You want a guy to travel to Africa? Sure.DJDeMarco32 said:
Europe is massive. America has more in common with Germany than Germany has in common with Ukraine.
Just move to Ukraine, Latvia, Estonia, or Belarus. End of game. You will never need this board again. You will laugh at the chumps who are depressed and horny in America. It is actually great fun to read this stuff. You will forever be as young and cool as you want in my places. An American guy never ages and never loses his stylish ways in my places either. Many places let you into the hottest clubs/discos simply by flashing your passport. Your passport will get you things that you could only dream of in America. I promise you that!
need more info.
I lost a lot of money since the beginning of the year - more than a lot make in a year...
BUT my game is pretty good, yet trust me finances are MORE important right now imo...well close actually. u want both.
here is simply the best tip i can give you. read this, it will work for you.
http://www.bristollair.com/outer-game/techniques/tactics/push-pull.html
http://www.seductiontuition.com/swinggcat/push-pull-examples.html
http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/how-are-you-going-to-push-pull-vt27005.html
I lost a lot of money since the beginning of the year - more than a lot make in a year...
BUT my game is pretty good, yet trust me finances are MORE important right now imo...well close actually. u want both.
here is simply the best tip i can give you. read this, it will work for you.
http://www.bristollair.com/outer-game/techniques/tactics/push-pull.html
http://www.seductiontuition.com/swinggcat/push-pull-examples.html
http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/how-are-you-going-to-push-pull-vt27005.html
ATX1001
Don Juan
No matter how bad you think you have it, someone, somewhere has it worse.
Even if we exclude all the 3rd world nations, if you have the use of all 4 limbs and people can talk to you without visibility recoiling, then you don't have a problem.
Even if we exclude all the 3rd world nations, if you have the use of all 4 limbs and people can talk to you without visibility recoiling, then you don't have a problem.