Yes, my wife was a virgin before I met her.
You have NO CLUE what a valuable trait this is in a woman. She has only fvcked you. You're at the top of her high score list. She will NEVER find another man to displace you in her mind.
If your wife wasn't a virgin when you met her, I'd have no problem supporting your decision to leave her. However, this very fact changes EVERYTHING. I'm dead fvcking serious. Having yourself a virginal wife means she's NEVER been negatively influenced or fvcked over by another man she's had a deep emotional connection with. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE. That is the only reason why I'm advising on making your marriage better than throwing it away for some cvm-dumpster you've been flirting with at work.
Now let me tell you this... If you decide to get rid of this woman, you will need to give up the idea of EVER being in a committed long term relationship. You will age on your own, have nobody to tend to you when you're sick, and have to rely on others who do not live with you for assistance. Women who have rode the c0ck carousel know that they can easily replace the men in their lives. Instead of being with a woman who finds you irreplaceable, you will be with many women who will have no problem throwing you away.
Is leaving your wife worth all of this???
When I say I don't feel challenged, what I mean is that she doesn't stimulate me mentally. We never engage in witty banter, she never teases me, etc. May not seem like a big deal, but to me, it's a key part of what makes being with a woman fun
A woman follows her man's lead. You cannot expect her to initiate this in your relationship. YOU have to be the one to do it. YOU need to teach her how to be fun. If you make this part of your personality, it will influence her and it will grow into her personality. Women are trainable to some extent.
We have had conversations about our goals and what we want out of life, and she is aware that mine are different than hers. To be fair, I'm still trying to figure out my passions and dreams, but I know that they go beyond the typical American dream of house, kids, and a dog. I also find it hard to respect someone whose sole objective in life are those things. She very explicitly told me multiple times that her "goal" in life is to have a big house (think multi-million) but instead of wanting to make a lot of money herself, she puts pressure on me to pursue a lucrative career.
The problem is you're paying attention to what this woman is saying. NEVER take a woman's words seriously. She may say she wants something, but her emotions will push her to do other things. DO NOT take her seriously here. If you work at making your dreams a reality, she will follow them. Women respect a man who knows what he wants and works towards getting it.
the only reason I started considering leaving my wife is because I recently found myself becoming attracted to another woman at work.
As someone who's engaged in having a mistress during marriage, you must be told that ANY interests outside marriage rarely last. Trading in a vehicle you got brand new with NO mileage is NOT less valuable than a vehicle that's seen upwards of 10 owners and has been worn out from repeated use.
I hate the idea of leaving my wife because of/for another woman, but more than anything else, she's helped illuminate the fact that my wife is not my type.
Working at customizing your wife is better than having one that is likely jaded from all the other guys who've fvcked her over. YOU are NOT at the top of that woman's high score list, and you never will be. Some other alpha male has taken that spot, and she will always hold a much higher regard for him than she ever will for you because she is NOT a virgin.
Reading people's responses, I think I was probably too kind in my characterization of my wife in my original post. Here are some additional faults I find in her:
- She loves to spend money on herself but is not generous with others
You WANT a woman who gives away your money? WTF is wrong with you?
- She sees the worst in people, and always seems to find some sort of drama. She's quick to assume the worst intentions in others. As a result, she has no close friends
Drama comes with women. It's a given. The fact that she has no close friends means that she's not heavily influenced by anybody but YOU. You have the most influence on this woman's life, and you should be using that to make her a better person.
- She is fixated on appearance and material things
Ummm..... Yeah, and????
You cannot expect this woman to behave like a logical man because she's NOT a logical man. She's an emotionally-driven woman. Things that look good make her feel good. However, you do NOT have to provide these things to her on a constant basis. She will respect you more if you're able to say 'NO' to her.
Ultimately, the problem is I don't admire her as a person.
You're not supposed to admire her. She's a woman. She's supposed to admire YOU. You're the leader, she's the follower. However, she'll only follow you if she feels that you ARE a leader. If you're not confidently leading your relationship and marriage, she won't respect you.
Pook advocates that each man should live the life that he wants and pursue his dreams. If I stay with my wife, I can't help but feel that I am giving up my life for her happiness, yet I don't know if I can muster up the courage and the will to face the short-term turbulence (as Samspade put it) that comes with leaving her.
As I mentioned earlier, if you choose to eliminate your wife from your life, you will have to dedicate yourself to solitary living. It's unlikely that you EVER will find another decent woman to settle with. The men here realize that most women out there are bottom of the barrel garbage who've been fvcked too many times by too many men.
My biggest suggestion is to give your wife a couple of years to be influenced by you while you improve yourself in becoming a confident, interesting, fun alpha-male.
As a side note... All that stuff you mentioned you don't like about your wife? I want a woman with ALL those qualities.
