Think your woman is BPD? Unlikely...

[BMX]

It does not matter what her "disorder" is.

Stop analysing women, but sure be wary of some red flags from a distance.

Reward good behaviour, Create appropriate distance for bad behaviour.

This will ensure the right kind of remain in your life.

The rest will get vetted out.

Keep spinning playahs.

This is the only place I see 'BPD' getting thrown around every fkn day. Most can't tell their as$ from a hole in the ground, much less give out a diagnosis or credible advice.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Men love idealistically/ Women love opportunistically, realistically and pragmatically.

The main difference appears to be that Men suffer from "the sunk cost fallacy" and struggle to let go of a woman he's invested in - even if she becomes fat and old (wife goggles).
Women have evolved to not suffer from sunk cost fallacy, and have instead evolved to move on very quickly - see "war brides theory".

Great points - and all very true. Now that you mention it, it jogs my memory from TRM.

 

[Billtx49]

What typically happens is this:

1. Guy with Game meets a girl and seduces her
2. Girl gets tingles and "bonds" to him through sex
3. She goes through a stage of idealising the man (this can last anywhere from a few months to a few years)
4. Girl worships the guy and becomes his Love Slave. Guy gets addicted to this validation from her.
5. Guy gets drunk on validation, becomes comfortable, stops Gaming her and starts to go Beta.
6. Girl loses the tingles and stops idealising him (Guy freaks out and becomes needy).
7. Relationship deteriorates and the Girl dumps him and goes completely cold
8. Guy thinks "WTF? What about all the good times baby? How could you just go cold like this?"
9. Guy then rationalizes it as NPD/BPD, when in reality it's just a normal relationship cycle.

Yes, normal cycles still apply, but usually at a much higher emotional level for both, and btw your ‘normal’ list doesn’t include her seriously cutting herself with a knife or trying to kill her man with one.
Mental illness denial is strong in those that have not seen…

 

[metalwater]

What typically happens is this:

1. Guy with Game meets a girl and seduces her
2. Girl gets tingles and "bonds" to him through sex
3. She goes through a stage of idealising the man (this can last anywhere from a few months to a few years)
4. Girl worships the guy and becomes his Love Slave. Guy gets addicted to this validation from her.
5. Guy gets drunk on validation, becomes comfortable, stops Gaming her and starts to go Beta.
6. Girl loses the tingles and stops idealising him (Guy freaks out and becomes needy).
7. Relationship deteriorates and the Girl dumps him and goes completely cold
8. Guy thinks "WTF? What about all the good times baby? How could you just go cold like this?"
9. Guy then rationalizes it as NPD/BPD, when in reality it's just a normal relationship cycle.

I assume the solution is at step 5? one set of theories tells that if we navigate correctly at step 5 then no problem. other theory tells that it doesn't matter and just accept this is the cycle. what do you think?

 

[Billtx49]

All I'm saying is we live in a society that pathologizes normal human behavior/feelings. Mental Health is an industry that earns billions a year through therapy and medication. I'm pretty sure previous successful civilizations like the Romans didn't need a gigantic mental health industry to tell the citizens of Rome how to behave.

We live in a sick world now and it's not surprising that people are mal-adjusted to it.

Very interesting, but we don’t share the same reality. Btw, you didn’t behave in Rome, you were killed or sentenced to slavery …

 

[BackInTheGame78]

All I'm saying is we live in a society that pathologizes normal human behavior/feelings. Mental Health is an industry that earns billions a year through therapy and medication. I'm pretty sure previous successful civilizations like the Romans didn't need a gigantic mental health industry to tell the citizens of Rome how to behave.

We live in a sick world now and it's not surprising that people are mal-adjusted to it.

Nope...their emperor just played the fiddle while his capital burned around him.

 

[Dash Riprock]

All women have BPD and NPD. It's otherwise known as Briffault's Law/ the lightswitch effect.

Personally, I feel Briffaults' Law only kicks in at a high level once the man loses his leverage in the relationship. A man's #1 weapon is his ability and willingness to walk away. Yet, few have the balls to actually do it. BTW, I've done it on a number of occasions and it feels great.

But, once a man gets married or becomes blue pilled, feminized, and beta-ized from being in a relationship/LTR too long with the wrong woman, he loses all leverage in the relationship. Sure, married men leave marriages all the time, but it costs them BIG TIME and women know it. Other men are so insecure that they're "nothing" (in their mind) without their woman so they stay and cater to the woman.

Men, the Number One thing you can do is develop and maintain your leverage in a relationship and employ the ability to walk away (but NEVER use this as a threat or tool in an argument, etc., or it will lose all impact) if you're not getting the treatment you deserve.

 

[Pandora]

Ive only met 3 true BPD in my life. One was in a psych clinic and the other one I dated. The third was at a strip club. When you meet one you will know it. They go from agreeable to high conflict very easily. They take offense to things easily and everyone is out to get them. They are rare.

 

[dk1990S111]

Yes, normal cycles still apply, but usually at a much higher emotional level for both, and btw your ‘normal’ list doesn’t include her seriously cutting herself with a knife or trying to kill her man with one.
Mental illness denial is strong in those that have not seen…

funny you say that lol when thinking if my ex was a BPD, among other things I always think back to one fight where she broke glass from a small picture frame with her bare hand, grabbed a knife out of the kitchen threatening to cut her wrist, and then decided to go in the bathroom and take a bunch of pills. Ya, normal relationship cycle stuff

 

[Baibars]

What typically happens is this:

1. Guy with Game meets a girl and seduces her
2. Girl gets tingles and "bonds" to him through sex
3. She goes through a stage of idealising the man (this can last anywhere from a few months to a few years)
4. Girl worships the guy and becomes his Love Slave. Guy gets addicted to this validation from her.
5. Guy gets drunk on validation, becomes comfortable, stops Gaming her and starts to go Beta.
6. Girl loses the tingles and stops idealising him (Guy freaks out and becomes needy).
7. Relationship deteriorates and the Girl dumps him and goes completely cold
8. Guy thinks "WTF? What about all the good times baby? How could you just go cold like this?"
9. Guy then rationalizes it as NPD/BPD, when in reality it's just a normal relationship cycle.

It depends WHAT happens during these times especially in 9).
Why do some girls just monkey branch while others react differently.
I think that it's not correct to say that all women act the same regardless of their history and that it was the man alone that made her do something. Women shouldn't go to jail ever then.

 

[Baibars]

Didn't you know that a woman is never responsible for her choices?

In all seriousness tho, a relationship's success and/or failure is all down to the man because it's the man who sets the frame. If a woman isn't coming into the man's frame then it is the man's job to end the relationship.

Too many men ignore the warning signs of an impending relationship failure. For example - Women send pretty clear non-verbal signals and subcommunicate their intentions pretty well in advance before monkey-branching.

That's right but objectively she is still responsible. I can't control her, i can only control myself but that doesn't mean that it was just me that made her do this or that. Women use this argument all the time and i don't think it's right to put all the blame on men for womens bad choices.

Do you think in middle age they cared about hypergamy when she cheated on her husband? She got sentenced to death and she could complain all day that didn't help her. Did they kill the husband because he wasnt high value enough?

 

[Pandora]

"agreeable to high-conflict" = hot/cold/hot/cold - All Women do this.
"take offense to things easily/thinks the world is out to get them" = Victim mentality - All Women have this.

It's all on a spectrum. Generally speaking, the more a woman misbehaves is in direct correlation to the amount of bad behavior she feels that she can get away with.

Pan87 trust me bro its a noticeable difference when its a bpd. Only an ignorant man would confuse a normal girl with BPD. BPD is a whole different animal than normal female behavior. I have a lot of medical knowledge and I rotated in a psych ward as a med student while I was dating this chick. This chick was definitely bpd.

Once you truly been through it....you can spot it clear as day. I have a post up from years ago. I put a Youtube video of a girl that is obviously bpd. My homie sent it to me and asked me guess her diagnosis.

A good pornstar called Kelsi Monroe exhibits signs of it in interviews.

A big sign is when they get overly attached to a guy very quickly ( 1 or 2 interactions). They talk about it in very juvenile unrealistic terms. Another thing they do is splitting. Normal girls dont split that much. BPDs have uncontrollable fights of anger for the slightist thing. They often have very dirty rooms, drug addiction, highly promiscuous. Their sex is detached. Its mechanical.

Ive been with a decent amount of women and I know what I am talking about on this topic. It is easy to spot a BPD once you dated one.
I do agree that most men have never encountered one and they over label them.

 

[Pandora]

The RedPill is not an opinion-based theory. It's about viewing male/female behavior in an honest way (even if the truth hurts). We strive not to develops theories that appeal to the idealistic bluepill beta inside of us.

All women are narcissistic and have an ability to drop a man on a dime if they aren't feeling the Feelz "in the moment."

Men are disposable, and this is just a fact. Women can be narcissistic and flakey NPDs/BPDs because they have extreme abundance and the market allows for this behavior. It's getting more extreme by the day with heightened connectivity and a global marketplace of men who are willing to do anything for them. Pretending that the resulting female behavior from this crazy market is some kind of a disorder (NPD, BPD) is intellectually dishonest.

A Woman is very simply all about how you make her Feel at this very moment. If she isn't getting those feelz from you anymore then you're useless to her.

I will agree with you that BPDs do what they think they can get away with. They also tend to behave at work but you can still see the cracks. They tend not to hold jobs down too long. They also tend to have sex with multiple co workers.

BPDs behavior comes from a fractioning of the persona due to extreme trauma growing up. This is why you find them among strippers, pornstars etc. Unless you hang in those circles its rare to find them.

The biggest sign of a BPD is the " leave me but dont leave me" behavior.

This is the #1 red flag. They will literally tell you to leave, and as you walk out the door....they will grab you and beg you to stay. This will happen like clockwork multiple times a week. Its creepy. They enact abandonment cycles they faced as a child.

Normal girls dont do this my brother. Normal girls will tell you to leave....then may not call you for a couple days. BPDs will be waiting for you in the bushes. Trust me.

 

[Pandora]

The chick in this video is classic BPD. Often very attractive, they speak in tangental juvenile speech patterns etc. They also become obsessed with guys to the point of idealizing them very quickly. Look at her eyes. Those are BPD eyes. If you see it you know. My friend sent this to me years ago and he didn't even have to say a word. This is not just a normal chick acting out.

Btw notice the " leave me but dont leave me" pattern of behavior. Once you been through dating a girl like this you will never deny its existence again. It changes you fundamentally as a man. Its like looking in the face of the abyss. Pure chaos incarnated.

 

[Pandora]

i don't believe you have as much experience as you claim to have, if you think anyone would ever confuse this for a NPD or BPD cycle. Its like confusing the common cold with malaria.

It never even crossed my mind that the relationships i've had that mirrored this were BPD or NPD. Experienced men know the difference...because they have the experience to know what is the norm(this cycle is fairly normal) and what is not (suicide attempts, verbal abuse, pathological, abnormal cheating, hoovering, extreme hot/cold cycles within the span of a few hours or days, severe abuse in background, etc). Healthy women do not do this. Show me one example of a normal relationship cycle like this being called (by a plurality of posters) a BPD or NPD relationship.

If you think you can claim to date a lot of hot women, inevitably some of which are from broken homes, with natural DDs and great asses, and those women did NOT develop narcissism or BPD to cope with the homelife...taking advantage of their looks....well, you have no credibility.

100% facts on what you say about BPDs La Raider. Pan87 my have credibility but he was lucky enough not to encounter these demons. Men take their lives or end up in jail dealing with these monsters. It is truly a scary thing. This is not joke. These women are tragic messes.

 

[Billtx49]

I will agree with you that BPDs do what they think they can get away with. They also tend to behave at work but you can still see the cracks. They tend not to hold jobs down too long. They also tend to have sex with multiple co workers.

BPDs behavior comes from a fractioning of the persona due to extreme trauma growing up. This is why you find them among strippers, pornstars etc. Unless you hang in those circles its rare to find them.

The biggest sign of a BPD is the " leave me but dont leave me" behavior.

This is the #1 red flag. They will literally tell you to leave, and as you walk out the door....they will grab you and beg you to stay. This will happen like clockwork multiple times a week. Its creepy. They enact abandonment cycles they faced as a child.

Normal girls dont do this my brother. Normal girls will tell you to leave....then may not call you for a couple days. BPDs will be waiting for you in the bushes. Trust me.

Ditto. Had a suspected BPD woman break it with me one night then overnight actually found my truck in the across town motel room lot where I spent the night. Next morning I find an under the wiper note stating ‘I love you’…

 

[Pandora]

Ditto. Had a suspected BPD woman break it with me one night then overnight actually found my truck in the motel room lot where I spent the night. Next morning I find an under the wiper note stating ‘I love you’…

oh bro that is CLASSIC BPD. The I love you note. Overly attached to the point of stalking. She prob just met you 2 weeks ago. They love HARD... but they rage HARD too.

 

[Medina]

Let's not conflate BPD with NPD which is totally different and more prevalent to the gender

I know it might be a surprise in this Instagtam world to learn that Narcassism is more common in men but you gotta remember... women don't actually like themselves

Where as men do. A lot. In fact. I would put good money on most of the guys on this site being on the NPD spectrum (low empathy, dreams of grandeur, heightened ego and self image)

And I would also put good money on most of the women we've had dealings with... being on the BPD spectrum

This is because NPD and BPD attract each other very well, as the BPD can finally get obsessed and fuel the bottomless pit-ego of the NPD

It never ends well, because neither side ever really wins

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Btw notice the " leave me but dont leave me" pattern of behavior. Once you been through dating a girl like this you will never deny its existence again. It changes you fundamentally as a man.

Well, I hear you but if that is the case, I’ve had LTRs with two BPD women. One for 6 years when I was blue pilled and one for one year that I just ended. The first one manifested a bit differently because I was beta - so while she had the fear of abandonment, it didn’t quite manifest itself in the leave me don’t leave me way. Instead it finally ended a couple months after I had a serious conversation with her about how miserable her constant complaining and negative abusive behavior was making me, and that it was becoming difficult to love her. That triggered her abandonment fear and she dumped me two months later by simply going to work like normal but not coming home - ever again. She had nearly all the BPD characteristics including lack of self identity, self-harm, impulsive, extreme emotional swings, explosive rage, etc. Is this BPD or just how most women are? Difficult to say.....

The girl I just dropped had all the characteristics too except lack of identity and self harm. VERY pronounced leave me don’t leave me cycles. Idolize me, yet constantly complain about me and get angry with me for anything and everything, constantly tried to control who my friends were, how often I could talk to them or see them, and tried to give me all sorts of rules on what I was or wasn’t allowed to do on social media. Would constantly threaten breakups and say, “I don’t know.... I just don’t think we are compatible. I just don’t see this working.” Of course, unlike in my blue pill days with the previous girl, I let this most recent girl get away with absolutely ZERO of that sh*t and it only reinforced my high value to her which only further triggered her insecurities and jealousies. When I would dump her for violating my boundaries, she would show up at my doorstep ringing my doorbell in rapid succession for 15 minutes until I finally answered the door, where I would find her shaking uncontrollably and crying hysterically. I open the door and she would latch on to me and not let go and beg and beg me back. When I finally broke it off with her for good this last time, and blocked her everywhere, she has resorted to calling me from other peoples phones, texting me from new email accounts she created, and DMing me from new IG accounts she created. BPD or normal female behavior? You decide.....

You tend to experience more "BPD/NPD" behaviors from women the higher-value you are. Women deploy these tactics to try and secure high value men.

I have noticed this too. High-value and high-attraction triggers their jealousies and emotions and, quite sadly, is what they need to stay in an LTR with a man. And I’m not talking about just BPD women, I’m talking about all women. This is why the more experienced I get, the more I realize that LTRs are a death sentence for the relationship.

 

[metalwater]

so in the end, is it all women are like that or some are more like that. when reading stuff.. NPD and RP low interest sound just the same to me. I suppose both can be present at the same time.

some posters tell that there is no NPD or BPD and it is all just low interest. other posters tell that women are just not designed to be loyal and that all problems stem from biology and that is the root cause of bad behaviour. Others tell that men being weak is the cause of low interest(clearly man's fault). That one gets lots of disagreement when high-value men lose out.

what is the difference in behaviour between NPD and low interest? every negative trait seems to be shared between those. I guess the solution of course is next for all cases. the difference is who is to blame. well not completely because in either case man has to allow it. but what are some of the tactical differences in behaviour between NPD(not BPD) and low interest-only?

I assume a dead father when a girl is young would qualify as the initial NPD wounding...

looking at this from an academic or philosophical viewpoint.