Think this girl is BPD...

[TopGun2000]

Your story reminds me of my first gf who was BDP. I was fvcked up big time then. :trouble:

I am glad I survived and got stronger :yes:

The problem is that I knew what my BPD ex was before I even got with her. Even before we were together I senses something was wrong. The original plan was to never even date her, but her sex had me coming back for more.

She was the one that asked me out and I agreed to it when I was drunk. The next time we hung out I called her my girlfriend and she acted all surprised like "really?", and acted like she never had remembered popping the question. This was the first time I realized she could disconnect from reality.

She later then claimed that by boss molested her (even though I was sleeping right next to her) at a social get together, she would punch holes in the walls, and start fights for absolutely no reason. Although I could never actually prove that cheated, I always had a strong suspicion that she did. We also broke up a lot, and anytime we did she became a makeout slvt, and she would go on to admit that she shared her tounge with 5+ guys every time.

You say that BPD's are angels and then turn into devils permanently, I don't believe that after dealing with so many. They can turn it off and on as they please. They are manipulators. Like I said, my BPD ex never had me on lock, and anytime she acted up I would remind her that I could always leave her at anytime without a care in the world (which I often did). As soon as her abandonment issues kicked in, she was the sweet caring and seductive girl that I once knew. Perhaps I was the guy that could fulfill her ultimate "abandonment", but deep down I think she was deeply in love with me because she couldn't truly have me. Admittedly, I am also kind of fvcked up. But BPD girls are jump of polarity between heaven and hell. I've been through the honey moon stage and all that with many of them. I don't remember what it was like being an AFC and dating them, but once you date one and learn a little game you never let anyone step on your heart like that again. I think that's why my ex despises me. She may have gotten an emotional rise out of me, but it was never out of sadness or pain, mostly just anger and disgusts. She still contacts me from time to time, but I just ignore her. And guess what, she still tries to put on the cute innocent caring and sweet victim roll?

To say that these girls become devils for life is a fallacy. Maybe for the guys who keep pursuing them, but once you show them a taste of their own medicine (what they actually truly want), they fall deeply in love with you. My ex is out fvcking around (probably riding some d!ck right now), but I know she still closes her eyes and pretends its me because I'm the only man who has ever had the balls to turn her down.

These woman are highly seductive, but you must learn to identify their ****.

I know I can fvck my BPD ex at anytime, all I have to do is call her up. But I won't because I know if I do I will just get sucked right back in.

-Scars

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Then today, my girlfriend was saying she might get an apartment in my town by next winter. She seemed like she was hinting that she wanted to live with me. I met this girl only a month ago though and she pretty much pushed the exclusivity thing onto me.. Now she wants to live together? She's a really clingy girl...,

Then she texts me : If you're gonna move you might as well just break up with me now I'm sick of getting hurt. It´s starting to make me think that maybe I should run for the hills?

Woah. Your alarm is ringing and you´re right. This is moving wayyy fast, this is not normal. PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION... I wouldn´t say "eject now", but would keep it going to see how it goes (of course don´t move in!!).

Other than these red flags of dependency.. She's my dream girl who's a complete sweetheart.

That´s probably a bait and switch tactic at play here... Try disagreeing with her, or stablishing some boundaries (saying no) and see how see reacts!

1. Will she get angry?
2. Will she sugar coat you to change your mind?
3. Will she respect your decision?
4. Will she go NC right away/suddenly find a new man?

*The "new man" game is very common, from what I´ve seen. She will make sure you see her making out or hanging out with a new candidate... Bpds are used to getting away with murder, better saying, with manipulation. This little test will tell you something about her MO (modus operandi).

 

[Scars]

When guys start posting about BPD girls on here it's generally always too late. They're already hooked.

Embrace yourself for the crash my friend. We'll still be here.

-Scars

 

[Blue Phoenix]

When guys start posting about BPD girls on here it's generally always too late. They're already hooked.

Embrace yourself for the crash my friend. We'll still be here.

-Scars

I wouldn´t be so gloomy. I see a lot of false alarms from some posters. This case in point, there are strong evidences she is one, but I would go on (with caution) to see...

*Keeping emotionally detached! If she can´t hook you, she´s powerless.

 

[Scars]

I wouldn´t be so gloomy. I see a lot of false alarms from some posters. This case in point, there are strong evidences she is one, but I would go on (with caution) to see...

*Keeping emotionally detached! If she can´t hook you, she´s powerless.

I'm not being gloomy, I'm being realistic.

The hook is already in effect. He wouldn't be posting about it if he didn't have at least some level of emotions towards her. We can tell him to leave, and he might, but these woman always come back. And when they do, they come back full force with their game face on, they want to manipulate and seduce you. The problem I always had was my alcoholism. I could detach from my BPD ex without a care in the world, but my drunk ass would always call her up to come over because I wanted her sex. Before I knew it, we were dating again. It was an endless cycle.

The op will most likely have a lot of stop and starts with this girl before he truly realizes what she is capable of and he detaches himself, either that or she will financially and emotionally destroy him and probably jeopardize is career in the process.

It's kind of like when we tell guys here to go NC. These girls aren't even borderline, yet they always seem to break the rule. Now imagine trying to NC a girl who mirrors your personality, initiates contact first every day, is sweet and caring, does anything for you, wants to see you constantly, and it makes it known that you can have sex with her whenever you want, all you have to do is just see her. Do you think he would have the will power to say no?

This is not a personal attack on the OP, or trying to call him an AFC by any means, but my point is that in all actuality, he is probably going to crash and burn, hard.

You even said yourself "*Keeping emotionally detached! If she can´t hook you, she´s powerless.".. but it's a lot easier said than done.

-Scars

 

[Blue Phoenix]

I'm not being gloomy, I'm being realistic.

The hook is already in effect. He wouldn't be posting about it if he didn't have at least some level of emotions towards her.

Agree, but early detection of Bpd´s tentacles means there´s a "get away"!

You even said yourself "*Keeping emotionally detached! If she can´t hook you, she´s powerless.".. but it's a lot easier said than done.

-Scars

Agree again. It all depends how strong emotionally you are (or have become) and how much experienced you are with this kind of girls.

If someone with a Borderline Personality Disorder attempts to draw you into a relationship, there is a very simple, concrete way to know it. Pay attention to your stomach. Even though he may initially seem sweet, attentive and empathic, you will likely perceive a subtle tightening in the pit of your abdomen, like a small rock you've suddenly noticed in your shoe-barely noticeable, but there.

Listen to that rock, because it is the voice of instinct, and it's trying to tell you something. Listen to your fear and start scanning for an incoming missile. The Borderline is often a tough target to initially confirm, but close attention to his attitudes and behaviors and an emotional position of calm neutrality can help you confirm his threat-potential. And if Borderline is confirmed, get out of there before it's too late.