Think I'm being used as a 'beta orbiter' by a girl.

[Blucher]

Hey guys.

I've got a little personal question regarding a girl I know. So I'll give you the background.

As you can see I'm 18, I'm a 1st year at university (freshmen US).Anyways Molly, Molly is pretty hot I'd says she's a 8/10, she is 21 and has been traveling since 19 before starting university. Molly is pretty frigid from what I've seen, of course I have no idea about what she did traveling but we closely share a social circle at university and she's never hooked up with or even kissed a guy for the whole year.

I'm pretty sure Molly has a few 'Beta orbiters' in-fact I'm certain as some of my friends do **** like aimlessly talk to her over social media for hours she also has lots of guy friends who are aren't very hot, but she keeps them around as friends.

Now I've always thought she's pretty hot, the first time we met it was on a night out, I flirted with her for a bit and tried my luck escalating for a kiss but didn't get anywhere, so I bounced.


After that I never paid much attention to her as I was in the process of getting two FWBs (both worked out - still got one). Fast forward a few months one of my FWbs drops off and I'm looking for a second. So hey I started flirting with Olive again, it went pretty well. Kino - thigh rubbing, hair/head rubbing, hugs etc and strong eye ****ing from both of us.

However when I went in to kiss her, she pulled away, this happened 3 times in one night. She would dance close with me, I got bored and bounced and tried hitting on others, she went looking for me, found me and put her scarf around me and pulled my face in close but wouldn't go to kiss me.

So I cut contact. I 'soft nexted' her.

3 days later she starts texting me
(we have exams coming up)

Her: hey you wanna go splits on this xyz with me?
Me : sure
Her: heya cool
Her: we should probably do xyz to pay for xyz
Me: yep I will do that, though I may not be around so you can carry it round for me
Her: huhuhu **** you!
Her: wont you need xyz
Me: nah got my zuyzz
Her: Cool
Her; we'll figure something out
Me: we can do it after
Her: ok
Me: you on campus?
Her: not now
Her:
Her:what are you doing?
Me: studying
Her: wow
Her:what are you doing
Me: finance
Her: yeah I have that too
Me: wanna prep with me sometime this week?
Her: yes I need all the help i can get
Her : also in economics too
Me: cool text me on (number) ill set something up
Her: I dont have a phone
Her: ill be around all friday
Me: friday at 3
Herk


---- few hours go by


her: hows it going ?
me: headed out to the gym, btw its $10/hour for help
her : haha **** off
her: you have xyz anyways?
me : no
her : ok


I want to say in advance thanks for any replies, as this is a long post.
I am essentially asking if I seem like a beta orbiter or if I genuinely have a shot with this girl, she has hot friends so I don't mind having her as a friend, but of course ideally I'll be ****ing her by next week.

 

[Firestar786]

Why does she keep telling you to fvck off? Has this woman no respect ?

 

[Suspens]

She is an attention whoring c0cktease. Ignore her bull****, go NC. And if she keeps texting BS, "Fvck off stalker." that's what you are going to tell her.

she's never hooked up with or even kissed a guy for the whole year.

Yeah nonsense.

 

[Cloudtopsun2100]

that girl is retarded and you need to step your game up brah, its obvious you are just looking to take a shortcut to FWB #2, spring is here -- time for new, better options

 

[BrainDamage92]

you think?

 

[Blucher]

that girl is retarded and you need to step your game up brah, its obvious you are just looking to take a shortcut to FWB #2, spring is here -- time for new, better options

Yeah reading it again she is a retard.

But Idaf is its just sex. Yeah always on the look out for new options.

 

[Blucher]

Why does she keep telling you to fvck off? Has this woman no respect ?

Well it was a jokey manner

 

[Tictac]

The question isn't if she's using you as an orbiter.

It's why you allow it.

 

[Blucher]

She is an attention whoring c0cktease. Ignore her bull****, go NC. And if she keeps texting BS, "Fvck off stalker." that's what you are going to tell her.


Yeah nonsense.

Thanks for the advice but I said I'd meet her...

 

[Cremasta]

Yeah, you're well and truly in the friendzone, and she's flirting with you so you'll do stuff for her.

Knowing this, you've got two options:
1. Go no contact. I wouldn't say totally cut her off, but don't initiate anything.
2. Have fun with it. Treat her exactly like one of your mates, even call her 'mate' (or whatever your equivalent is in the UK). Do things like telling her it's her round at the pub, and ask her if she has any hot friends she can hook you up with.

In my early days, I used to call this girl I hung out with 'mate' and it was years later that I found out the reason that it pi$$ed her off so much is because she was actually interested in me.
Might be one way to work out whether or not she's actually keen on you and is just playing power games.

 

[Thefakeslimshady]

If you feel like your an orbiter chances are you most likely are. You even said your self she has a lot of guy friends and a bunch of them aimlessly talk to her for hours. When she messaged you a couple of hours later saying "hows it going?" She probably sent that same exact message to a bunch of other dudes. You tried kissing her 4 times alreadyso she knows you are interested. I say you did what you had to do any special treatment towards her will only hurt your cause. Seeing you with other women will get her jealous and make her wonder if she let a great catch get away.

 

[G_Govan]

The question isn't if she's using you as an orbiter.

It's why you allow it.

Nough said...

 

[Blucher]

The question isn't if she's using you as an orbiter.

It's why you allow it.

Hey man

and everybody else thats replied.

So a little update

Basically she flaked on me for the meet but....

her: hey im not coming its really warm and sunny im going to sit outside and read, but if you wait for me ill be there later
her: hey i will text you late if i go and you are still around? I'm keen for just hanging out till pretty late
me: nah im busy later
her: awwww (
her: how long are you going to stay for?
(ignored her for like 3 hours)
her: are you still there?
her: hello?
me: nope, you still wanna hang?
her: yeah was thinking of going to this bar later but I cant dirnk alcohol
her: thought u were busy
me: I was, I didn't figure you meant so late
her: great ok
her: Ill let you know when i leave if im going to the bar or not
her: if you want to go clubbing hannah and emily are going out tonight
me: I won't be going to the bar
her: haha well **** then
me: you can drop by mine with a bottle of wine
her: you're that bored huh?
her: hmmm maybe ill see how tired i am later
me: I've gotta be (bored) to be reading your ****
her: ahahahaha
her:
her: helloo?

(ignored for like an hour)

her: ok im not coming
her: have a great night though!

Right so Im gonna give up on this girl, I have on FWB and comparing the effort i put in to her compared to this well... all I had to was ask her for coffee then **** her the day after, im gonna stop bothering with this chick.

Hope you got some lols watching me be a chump

 

[Frostman]

Waste of time it appears.

 

[Thefakeslimshady]

I would have never replied back after she said "I thought you were busy". Anyways this looks like a lost cause and shes just likes the attention. Just by the way her sentences are written you can tell she has flake written all over her.

 

[Fugitive]

She flaked on the meet. You have a right to be a little cold/distant. You invited her round at that point you should have kept on her and not ignored her.

But now that you have ignored her don't contact her again until she contacts you. When she does contact you then invite her around again. Don't go too heavy on her as she sounds nervous maybe don't go for the kill until she comes over the 2nd time. If she flakes on you cut her off and move on.