Think I missed my shot, help appreciated

[kgill]

Hi guys, this is my first post, would appreciate any help. I met a girl about 7 months ago when I started law school (we're both in the same class). We were friendly for several months at school, hung out in large groups a few times but noting really flirty or anything. Her ex who she broke up with about 2 yrs ago is also in the class (they dated for 3 years).

For the last 2 months, I have been hanging out with her a lot more often at school (sit beside her almost daily) and have lunch with her. We have also hung out a couple times in smaller groups outside of school (got a drink, dinner etc in a small group). We have started flirting with eachother all the time in a joking way and I have always played ****y/funny which she absolutely loves. It has gotten to the point where others have asked us if we are dating and we've both sorta brushed it off. She mentioned to me a couple weeks ago that she is leaving lots of hints that I am not getting.

The thing is that I wasn't sure I wanted to act on it because it is a tight knit class and I don't want to cause much drama if it doesn't work out. She mentioned something about this too once about how she doesn't know if dating somebody in the class would be wise but she is still flirty with me at the same time. I've since completely change my mind and really want to start dating her. I've realized she is worth the risk.

Problem, her ex has also started to notice we talk more and the two of them have started hanging out a lot more (studying alone together etc). Even if she knows I wil be somewhere specific studying, she will often go where she knows her ex will be. About 1 week ago, I went to have a few drinks with her (just us two) and we started talking about the ex who she claims is the sweetest guy but it didn't work out because he was too nice/needy and small (he is a little short/skinny), I am taller/more muscular. She claims they are just really good friends now. Since then she and him have been hanging out together daily and I think I might have waited too long to act. She also mentioned that she briefly dated one of her ex's best friends about a year ago which really pissed off her ex.

Any idea how I should proceed? Is it too late? Should I be trying some BF Destroyer stuff (even though she says they aren't dating). They just seem too close.

 

[Chickfight]

Sounds like you don't have much to worry about from the ex. Seems like he's found himself in her friendzone. I won't critisize you too much, cause I've been in the same stage when I started improving my game. Became a lot more flirty around girls and they liked it, but it just stayed that way like a "flirtationship". That where you are now. The answer is simple, just ask her out! Just tell her "hey, lets hangout some time, just us". Then physically escalate when you two are alone. If you keep this up, then you will indeed miss your shot.

 

[Tiguere]

Bf destroyer??? AMOG???????

What you need is to make sure you still have your balls attached.

Then make a fvcking move. Stop the talking and start the kissing/fondling.

 

[kgill]

Lol yea i know I haven't been playing this right, you guys are def right on about that.

The thing is that for the last week, even when she knows where I will be and he will be, she has chosen to go over to him. Makes me think she has strong feelings for him still and has gotten sick of me. If I do go over to talk to her, she is still really nice, enthusiastic, laughs at all my jokes etc.

 

[PDubb75]

The thing is that for the last week, even when she knows where I will be and he will be, she has chosen to go over to him. Makes me think she has strong feelings for him still and has gotten sick of me. If I do go over to talk to her, she is still really nice, enthusiastic, laughs at all my jokes etc.

It could very well be that this is because of her signals that you have yet to act on. Not only did she give you the signals, she told you she gave you the signals. That means your inaction bothered her enough that she made a point to tell you. And then you still didn't act on it. It's possible that either you missed your chance, or she's trying to make you jealous and win you over.

The only thing to do here is to act on it now. Keep us posted.

 

[Chickfight]

That's not necessarily a bad thing. If she's attracted to you, a lot of girls won't just show up to where you are and kick the sh!t with you. You gotta be a man and go after her and make a damn move and stop worrying about her needy weak EX boyfriend. If her ex-boyfriend was an nfl star or something you might have something to be worried about. The more you hesitant the smaller your chances become. She might say no, but just ****in ask her.

 

[kgill]

Hi guys, bit of an update for anybody interested (long post sorry). It is long and detailed cause I'm frustrated and not sure what to do next. One thing I didn't mention before is that i am really a newbie when it comes to this, never had a LTR.

Anyways, my first post was last Saturday.

I didn't see or contact her on Sunday at all, she texted me Sunday night asking if I was home to see if she could borrow something. I wasn't home and so it was just a quick convo.

On Monday, I txted her to see if she was studying in the building we both usually do. She was, she asked me to come over to where she was to say hello. I did, she was alone. We talked for a while and I asked if she wanted to grab a drink on wednesday night. I did not make it clear it was a date (thought she knew it would be just us 2 since the other ppl we usually go with would be busy with a school project). I thought i might try to advance things on wednesday when it was just us two and it would be night rather than in broad daylight and at school. I stuck around too long on Monday and she eventually said that I should go away let her study and that we'd finish our convo on Wednesday (i know I shouldn't have lingered).

On tuesday, I didnt contact her at all. She sent me a random funny txt at night but I didnt respond cause it was late and not really the type that even needed a response (I could've though)

Today (wednesday), I saw her at school, waived etc. I initiated txting after class, we were both studying in the same building again, she was there with ex-bf. We send some flirty txts back and forth (we were on different floors on the same building). She eventually tells me that to meet her at a cafe on the main level. I go down (like a chump i run down to meet her instead of asking her to come up and meet me). She is sitting there with her best female friend who ive never met but have heard a lot about, introduce etc. The three of us talk for a while. We get up to leave to each go back to where we were, as we are leaving I ask if we are still on to grab a drink later and she says that she cant because she has too much studying left (this is sorta the truth since we have a big final coming up, but i have the same final too and could find time for a quick drink).

Anyways, I have realized that I am an idiot. I never escalated physically in the last 2 months when she displayed interest. Now she's being flaky on real plans while still being flirty when we do spend time together (or txt). Not really sure what to do now, I think I should just ignore her (treat her the same as all my other classmates) for a while until she sets plans with me. Not sure what else to do.

 

[EvilAgenda]

THIS:

 

[Chickfight]

friiieeeeendzooooned

You've officially become an orbiter and it had nothing to do with her ex. He's one too. It doesn't matter that she's flirty with you. Doesn't mean she's attracted. It's just attention whoring.

Not much you can do anymore, either accept being friends with her or start cutting her out, which probably won't raise her interest either. You can take this as an opportunity and improve yourself and become the fvckin man or you can linger around her like a beaten up dog.