Think I may have dodged a BPD Waif bullet

Asthxlife

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So basically I met this girl 2 years ago, we dated shortly but she cut things off and went back to her ex.

Late last year she breaks up with her ex again and starts reaching out to me around February.

I jumped back in enthusiastically because to me she's near a 10/10. Beautiful face, D cup breasts and amazing body, shared interests, etc.

From the beginning she makes things slightly difficult. Some flaky aloof behavior. Some hot/cold. I pushed through it pretty easily because I had other plates. Around 3rd meetup I finally get the bang. Amazing and the tightest girl I've been with to boot. Lets me hit it raw (Yeah stupid on my part...)
4th meetup we take some MDMA together....because of its effects she spills all her secrets to me:

• Grew up in emotionless home with strict domineering unloving father that basically held her in captivity
• Hates her father
• Strict religious environment as a child
• Multiple suicide attempts, cutting scars
• Tattoos that are hidden close to her genital area
• Had never been in a relationship longer than about 2 years and dated abusers and psychos
• Admitted anxiety and low self esteem
• Magical thinking, thought she had "witchy powers" and believed in a lot of woo woo stuff
• Strong opinions, often irrational ones like thinking caffeine is "bad" and arguing about it

Before she spilled all this I had zero suspicion. Outwardly she was amazingly feminine, kind, sweet. Had a "good girl" persona and seemed very innocent and naive. Think Zooey from 500 Days of Summer (which many cite as an example of BPD...and ironically enough she compared herself to her and it was her favorite film) but even hotter. Never any kind of outbursts or mood swings I could detect when I was around her, just seemed like I had found a unicorn.

Yeah I know, RED FLAGS GALORE but I was under her spell. Anyways, after this I thought she'd become closer to me since she had opened up but quite the opposite occurred...she became distant. Ghosted me for about 2 weeks. We hung out 2 more times after but both times she gave me very strong resistance when I tried for sex, and something felt different. Before she was extremely DTF. Looking back I'm thinking perhaps her fear of closeness/intimacy kicked in after she revealed all her cards to me, as fear of closeness/vulnerability is an element of BPD.

Days after our last date she texts me saying though she finds me very attractive and loves my personality that something didn't "feel quite right" and she was going to back off dating me.

Needless to say I was extremely bummed out because she's so damn hot and I thought things were progressing well...I was beating myself up a bit thinking did I goof somewhere like not pushing through her LMR and getting sex on the last hangout etc...that's when I came across info on BPD. Some things matched up but there was no outward rage and a lot of symptoms didn't seem to connect. Then I found info on BPD Waifs and it was BINGO. Almost everything lined up perfectly and she seems like a textbook case.

After the many horror stories about BPD I've read in the past few days I feel like I got off very lucky. Seems she cut me loose due to fear before things got serious. What sucks is that even though I feel like I dodged a bullet I still feel such massive disappointment and withdrawl at the moment. The way she smelled, the sex, the beauty, everything was so intoxicating. Seriously like a drug addiction and I wish I could have just gotten a few more bang sessions.

The waif/quiet variety of BPD is absolutely frightening to me...it's so hard to detect. I would easily have been pulled into a relationship with her had she not gotten scared off or spilled all her secrets to me. The info I found on BPD from this forum was invaluable and I just wanted to share my experience as well.

One last thing I want to ponder is why does it seem like BPDs in general seem to be so attractive, as in 8+ in looks? It really puzzles me. Or maybe the extremely attractive ones are the ones that more men get enmeshed with since they are so hot and the uglies are too ugly to run their games on men.
 
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sazc

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She's not BPD. it's exactly like you said, once she opened up to you she fear the intimacy and the fact that she became vulnerable so she backed off
 

Asthxlife

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She's not BPD. it's exactly like you said, once she opened up to you she fear the intimacy and the fact that she became vulnerable so she backed off
Cutting, suicide attempts, emotional neglect as a child, black and white thinking, fear of intimacy, low self esteem and anxiety...seems like textbook BPD waif to me. Waifs or quiet BPDs will turn anger inward and self harm. She also has a very girlish way of speaking, almost childlike as if she was stunted emotionally in that stage.
 

soulforge

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OP I recently had a similar experience with a damaged woman.

Similar to you... No rage.. Sweet sounding girl.. sometimes even child like.


However her history would suggest otherwise.. this may help.


What I find in common with most of these types of chicks is... A history of child abuse or neglect... and at some point self harming!
 

Spaz

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Every soyboy who got dumped will take out the BPD card after being thrown in the garbage bin.
 

Chev.Chelios

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takes a guy equally or more fvcked in the head to hook a girl like that..

seen it dozens of times..

completely fvcked..
 

Spaz

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takes a guy equally or more fvcked in the head to hook a girl like that..

seen it dozens of times..

completely fvcked..
No wonder I've never met a single BPD girl, they must have been auto dismissed to the trash can.
 

Chev.Chelios

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the guys they always end up with usually get them hooked on love/monogamy, drugs or hire them out to scam their beta orbiters out of there credit card info,

better yet guys that run porn websites hook them up, the really ****ed up girls who are SUPPPPER hot wont do porn because they have to much of a princess complex and it goes agaisnt "god" and staying "pure"those are the worst ones that will fvcking kill you, because sex with them is a straight up heroin injection..

the first time i got shook up by one if these girls my world was fvcked, the 15th one ive come accross and can recognize the patterns and finally figure out wtf they even are.

No wonder I've never met a single BPD girl, they must have been auto dismissed to the trash can.
 

Spaz

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the guys they always end up with usually get them hooked on love/monogamy, drugs or hire them out to scam their beta orbiters out of there credit card info,

better yet guys that run porn websites hook them up, the really ****ed up girls who are SUPPPPER hot wont do porn because they have to much of a princess complex and it goes agaisnt "god" and staying "pure"those are the worst ones that will fvcking kill you, because sex with them is a straight up heroin injection..

the first time i got shook up by one if these girls my world was fvcked, the 15th one ive come accross and can recognize the patterns and finally figure out wtf they even are.
Women comes in all size and shapes of mind, the next time you bump into one, be the predator, that way, no women sane or otherwise (BPD included) could affect you.

It's you then affecting them and enjoying every moment.
 
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