Think I may be setting myself up for a fall

[bunjy]

Heres the drill. Was introduced to a hot foreign chick through a friend. Been on three dates with her over the past two weeks. All seems to be going well. She txts me every day, calls me, has let me stay over (no sex though), we kiss alot and seems very interested. Im confident we will be having sex soon (hopefully this weekend, lol). Also her IL seems to have steadily increased since our last date (shes been txting me more and saying things like 'thinking about you' etc).

Anyway Im concerned about a number of things regarding my game. Im bascially worried im falling somewhat into an AFC trap. Basically we get on really well and defintely have good chemistry. We have good conversation and she responds well to the compliments I give her and me teasing her etc.

The problem is that i feel as if maybe Ive let my game down too soon and too quick. Ive told her 'I really like her' (shes told me this aswell) and havent really suceeded in making myself seem indifferent or mysterious and to some extent I feel as if Ive probably given away too much too soon and maybe been a bit too 'nice'. Dont get me wrong Ive still teased her and been abit unavailable (e.g. I often respond to her txts hours later and have effectively cancelled a date she suggested). I have gamed her to some extent but I feel as though im coming across like too much of a nice guy.

This is whats confusing me though, for the first time ever with a chick she seems genuinely interested in spending more time with me despite my game being the weakest its ever been. Im not sure how to continue. On the one hand im concerned I quickly putting myself in position where I could become a 'nice guy' yet on the other it seems to be naturally going really well.

What you guys think? Should I reasses my game and play it cooler (e.g. lay off on the compliments and nice guy attitude) or should I just go with the flow and continue as I have been??

Its worth mentioning im 31 and shes 25 and pretty hot (I can imagine she gets a fair bit of attention off guys). Also shes not Western. Ive not totally fallen for her or anything but would quite like to not **** it up this time.

 

[Warrior74]

Close the deal.

Then read this thread.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=134995


Good luck.

 

[Bluntmaster]

Foreign girls are SO much better than American. The last foreign girl I dated made me wait 3 dates just for a peck on the lips but she let me know she was interested my texting me every day after our first date.

I ended up banging her on the 5th date and it was a terrible lay, she just laid there like a log. But they can be trained. Just be patient she will spread 'em most likely but she may lay there like a log.

Oh yeah, and I had to rip her panties off on that 5th date. I had to get real aggressive. She was still resisting but I froze her out then re-entered the room where she was sleeping on my bed... basically just ripped her panties off and she didn't resist.

I ended up dumping this girl for my nutjob American BPD ex. It was a mistake but I don't really care.

 

[squirrels]

This comes to mind:


Sun Tzu said: The good fighters of old first put
themselves beyond the possibility of defeat, and then
waited for an opportunity of defeating the enemy.

. . .

The skillful fighter puts himself into
a position which makes defeat impossible, and does
not miss the moment for defeating the enemy.

Thus it is that in war the victorious strategist
only seeks battle after the victory has been won,
whereas he who is destined to defeat first fights
and afterwards looks for victory.


Why is it you fear "f**king up"? Is it a "skills" issue? Or just a lack of confidence? Any moves or tactics cannot make up for a lack of inner-game. Work on yourself.

As the thread Warrior linked suggests...the "tests" never end. You must first place yourself beyond defeat.

 

[grayclif]

When you mentioned foreign I instantly wondered about her immigration status. Where is she from?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Bunjy,
seems to me she is very keen,the real problem is not getting a long term relationship going,but giving away your options too soon.Don't move in with her and always keep a few nights a week for your private interests be they Plates or hobbies.

 

[vatoloco]

When you mentioned foreign I instantly wondered about her immigration status. Where is she from?

This is the first thing that popped into my mind as well...

 

[bunjy]

When you mentioned foreign I instantly wondered about her immigration status. Where is she from?

Shes from Slovakia and her immigration status allows her to stay aslong as she wants in my country (UK).

 

[bunjy]

Why is it you fear "f**king up"? Is it a "skills" issue? Or just a lack of confidence? Any moves or tactics cannot make up for a lack of inner-game. Work on yourself.

This is a good question. I suppose because in the past I have usually ****ed up by now e.g. girl starts to get bored or becomes distant and I end up getting LJBF.

I suppose really its a lack of confidence. Im obviously not confident in myself given that things are going really well this time yet im concerned Im on the road to ruining it, despite no indications otherwise.

 

[grayclif]

Shes from Slovakia and her immigration status allows her to stay aslong as she wants in my country (UK).

Most people can stay in most countries as long as long as they like so long as they lay low. But is she allowed to work, open a bank account, borrow money - make a life.

When foreign types, male (North Americans and Europeans) and females (Jamaicans and Cubans) come to my country they like it so much they look for reasons to stay. And the easiest way to do so is marry a local. Watch out!

 

[Jay Dee]

Most people can stay in most countries as long as long as they like so long as they lay low. But is she allowed to work, open a bank account, borrow money - make a life.

When foreign types, male (North Americans and Europeans) and females (Jamaicans and Cubans) come to my country they like it so much they look for reasons to stay. And the easiest way to do so is marry a local. Watch out!

Slovakia and the UK are both member states of the European Union, citizens of which are allowed to live and work anywhere within the EU.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citizenship_of_the_European_Union

So unlikely to be an immigration gain for this chick - possibly financial or other.

 

[bunjy]

Most people can stay in most countries as long as long as they like so long as they lay low. But is she allowed to work, open a bank account, borrow money - make a life.

As mentioned above because of both UK and Slovakia being in the European Union, immigration isnt an issue and indeed she does have a ban account, legitimate full time job, pays taxes etc.

 

[bunjy]

Ok so thought Id update you guys about the situation here. Im pretty sure I was right I now is the fall I was expecting.

So heres the drill. We've had plenty of sex over the past few weeks, been getting on well and spent a fair but of quality time together. However yet again I feel as though Ive come accross as too nice. I generally probably not remained enough of a challenge, been too keen to contact her and not mysterious enough.

Anyway Ive now found myself in a situation where she appears to be playing hot and cold with me. Ive noticed that she doesnt contact me as much and when I txt her she now responds hours later (as opposed to say 20 mins). Also shes not responded to a couple of my txts recently. Sure she may be busy, but its a defintie change in the way she responds to me contacting her. Ive not drawn any attention to this or got mad or anything stupid like that but im quickly reaching the point where I find myself rather bored of this type of behaviour and bascially cant be bothered with it. One day shes telling me she 'cant wait to see me next', the next she seems distant and like she isnt really interested. Im rather confused by it all to be honest, on the one hand she seems to still want to date me and when we meet shes generally all over me yet on the other she seems uninterested and distant at times. I dont want to next this chick but I quite fancy maybe playing her at her own game. Should I just discontinue txting her?? I have tried this to some extent and it ends with her initiating contact. Maybe dont give her any comments at all and drop the whole 'babe' thing?? Act abit distant when around her??

It has to be said that I feel the 'nice guy' attitude Ive been giving off has become abit stale and boring, any advice on how I can turn this round?? Ive definetely not come across as needy or desperate and im sure my confident nature has shone through, I dont think Ive blow it, yet.

Also I think its worth adding that I think theres a possibility she herself may be worried about coming accross as too keen and may be trying to play it cool herself a little.

 

[bunjy]

Another guy

I do suspect this tbh. I noticed the other day when we was out together she was constantly checking her phone. I casually asked her about this and she mentioned she was waiting for a txt from her mum (who lives abroad). This seemed plausable enough but made me think why if she obviously keeps check on her phone does she take so long to txt me back.

We're going out 2morrow nite and im supposed to be staying at hers, I figure if it goes ahead as planned and I get some sex without any distant behaviour things are ok?? Or would I be kidding myself??

The funny thing is she still sortof seems keen e.g. Im seeing her 2morrow and she just txted me saying 'cant wait to see you 2morrow xxx', this was a response txt to one I txted her hours ago and tbh I was surprised she even txted back. I txted her back saying simply 'see you 2morrow' and then she txts me back straight away asking me how has my day been etc. She reacted to my unusually plain txt.

I dont get it, on the one hand I feel as though shes trying to maybe distance herself from me yet on the other she clearly still seems keen.

I can think of one reason why she may be a bit pissed off though. Ive sort of blow her off for this weekend and her behaviour may be because of this (she first started acting this way after id told her I couldnt see her on Saturday). I get the feeling shes trying to tell me something whether that be shes losing interest or that she abit pissed off. I suppose she could be trying to play abit of game herself.

Either way I guess I'll never know so no point in thinking about it too much.

 

[Iceberg]

Either way I guess I'll never know so no point in thinking about it too much.

Boom. You summed it all up right there. Trying to figure out a woman's logic is an exercise in futility.