Think i have a potential cougar, dont wanna screw it up

[change11]

A little back story..I am 21 and I fix computers for a company that is about 99% older women (30s and 40s). I have always wanted to bang a cougar, it something I want to experience in my lifetime.

Anyways about a month ago I got called in at 5am on a day off because the entire network was down. I was in touch with a woman who was the supervisor for that shift (11pm-7am) I'll call her SupervisorCougar(SC). She is pretty attractive and I would guess she is late 30s. Not married, no kids. I fixed the problem and went to tell her it was fixed.

I ended up chatting with her for a few minutes, she was very friendly and flirty but most of the women at this company are like that with me. The next week a friend of mine at work (a female, maybe young 40s) told me that SC had a crush on me. Normally I would take this with a grain of salt, although with this friend she once told me the same thing about another girl and that girl ended up giving me her number a week later. I kind of brushed it off but thought hmm maybe I could do something with this.

Just today I wake up to a text message around 5am. It's SC, and she is just telling me the the network is down again (which it really was, it was a ***** to fix haha). I never gave SC my number, but a few people at work do have it for emergency purposes.

I'mgoing to post our conversation. It was originally for work, I'm going to cut out the work related stuff and just leave the general chat. I think I have a good chance here and I don't wanna **** it up. I've never been out with an older woman before:

HER: Hey the network is down...blah blah blah work talk blah blah..Also, you should know how highly you are thought of here. I couldn't stop talking about you!

ME: Ok I'm heading in to fix it...blah blah...Thank you for the kind words, people don't usually like the computer guys so it was nice to hear that from you! Feel free to contact me anytime when you have problems...blah blah blah

HER: Wow now I am even more impressed! I didn't want to bother the CEO this morning. I didnt want to have to call your boss for help but I had to and he didnt answer. I always get in trouble, thanks for coming in.

*** Her shift ends and she goes home so she wasn't at work when I got there ***

ME: Ok problem is fixed..blah blah blah..From now on how about you call me directly when you need help instead of the CEO or my boss, you certainly wont get in trouble for calling me! Thanks for your help today..blah blah blah..I look forward to seeing you again, SC, perhaps even at a time when the computers arent broken. Enjoy the rest of your day!

*** I thought about her having the crush and figured **** it, I'm gonna hint at us getting together outside of work. I had no idea how she'd respond but I figured she would probably get what I was hinting at **

HER: Were you reading my mind? That sounds wonderful...you let me know


So...where to from here. She works the night shift, at least over the weekends, so I'm not even sure what her availability is. I was thinking of texting her in a few days to find her availability and then set something up, probably just getting together for a drink or dinner. Then, assuming that happens, I'll just get to chatting with her and see what she wants. I am interested in a FWB or sex only, so if she is looking for a relationship it won't really work out. Im not going to ask her directly obviously...but I figure that she is mature enough to know exactly what she wants and will (indirectly) let me know if she wants sex or something more.

Any tips? Advice? I really dont even know where to take her, thats why I was just thinking drinks orsomething. Couldn't hurt to get a few glasses of wine right? hahaha

 

[f283000]

Any tips? Advice? I really dont even know where to take her, thats why I was just thinking drinks orsomething. Couldn't hurt to get a few glasses of wine right? hahaha

You answered yourself (it's in bold). When it comes to cougars there's only 1 place you can take them and that's to get drinks.

You don't take a cougar out to the mall, you don't take her to the movies, you don't do any of the stuff you would normally do with a young gal. You have to remember that if an older woman is pursuing a younger man it's not to be doing "girl/boyfriend" stuff but shes pursuing you because she wants you to F*** HER! She's looking for secks not a relationship.

Once you get that to your head (she wants you to f*** her) the simpler things will be. Take her out to drinks then invite her back to your place and give her what she wants.

 

[change11]

Ya I am trying to put that in my head, it does make it seem easier, although I am still thinking it over in my head, as I feel I may need to tackle moving from drinks to bed differently then with a girl who is my age.

So I asked her out for drinks next week, mentioned two days that would work for me. She said that sounds nice, wednesday is good, have a good day! Then she texted me...hey fyi i am 41 do you care? To which I replied...not at all, age is only a number I live in XXX, I dont know how far that is from you so I will come to you, just let me know where so I can find a fun spot to go to! Or somewhere you like...

No response yet, I guess it wasn't really needed though? I'll just wait until it gets closer to next wednesday and see what she says...

 

[oneboy21]

You are acting too much interested in her by testing too much un needed information. Cut it short and make her work for you. if you show too much interest that may ruin your lay

 

[change11]

She texted me back...

"I can find a place or we could go to the beach so much fun. I could pick you up at work I would love that or we could meet later. There are bars, ice cream and the air is so nice to breathe and walk. Whatever you want"

Ice cream and a walk along the beach? Uhhhhh that sounds more bf/gf stuff to me...this woman can't possibly really think we could get into a relationship!? Maybe she just doesn't want to come on too direct about wanting sex and after a few drinks down at the beach she will get to the point? Again..I am NOT looking to "date", just want the sex!

 

[joverby]

Dude, you clearly got it easy. Of course she's not going to just come out and say, just come over to my house and fvck me. She's got to have a little self respect.

Go out and bang her man. I'm sure after beach adventure or drinking at the bar she'll ask you back to her place.

As the other poster said, she just wants to bang you. Go with it.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

lol, I love this thread. IDK man, I had an interaction with a 42y/o who DEFINITELY wanted BF/GF situation..she wanted me to move towards her! It was distance and we were never intimate, but there are definitely older women who want younger dudes...

I'd say a few things:
(1) be careful, because this lady is essentially your boss -- this could lead to some residue if she wants a relationship, you don't, things don't work out, etc -- this could damage the flow of your job. You are down this path now, so pulling back would be a bit awkward, but this is for you to decide.

(2) she probably is turned on by having a younger man, just like let's be honest, when we're 32 and picking up a 22 y/o...well...probably not the worst thing in the world If you do just want only sex with her...let her know you're not interested in serious relationships right now...

She is excited about you and showing a lot of interest. You definitely have some options on your table how to proceed and likely can and will have sex with her if you want to. I'd just think about the consequences on your job if worst-case scenario occurs (she becomes a bitter old hag or something) -- also keep in mind, you have no understanding of her relationship history...she could be a psych0 and you don't know it yet.

My $.02 cents -- take it for whats it's worth!

 

[change11]

She is not my boss, there is no situation where I would ever have to answer to her. My involvement with her at work is rare and only involves telling her when something is fixed. That said, I do realize co-workers could be a problem down the road. I've decided that I want this experience so I'm going to go through with it and will keep that realization in my mind.

The game is on...I told her when/where to meet me and told her what were going to do.

"Oh that sounds good, I can't wait I'm really looking forward to it!"

Hopefully I should have a good story for you guys next week.

 

[change11]

What is it that you're going to do with her? (I'm curious).

All you have to do is keep being the cool guy that she already likes...that's it...nothing more, nothing less. She already likes you, and just wants to make sure that you don't turn stupid on her. She likes how you stepped up and took control. Very nice move, mate.

I told her.."Meet me at the beach at 6:30, we'll grab a couple drinks at one of the bars along the beach then when the sun starts to set we can go explore the beach".

 

[change11]

Rearranged the meet to last night....

WOW....not an entirely negative experience, I'm going to right a reflection on this experience.

Story:
So I get to the place. I hadn't seen this woman in almost a month and when I did see her it was VERY brief. Well, she wasn't nearly as attractive as I remembered. In fact I really wasn't that attracted to her. So we went in to grab some drinks. But, appearantly she doesn't drink!? Not sure why she agreed to meet for drinks.

So we get to chatting. You guys ever heard the saying of "an old single woman with cats"? Yeah? Well how about an old single woman with a dog, birds and over 70 house plants! She asked me if I had ever tried online dating...hello I am 21! Then she started talking about the weird emails she and her friends got from guys online. She also brought up dating, guys she's dated, politics, asked why I asked her out, some personal things....basically all things I do NOT want to talk about on a "first date". However it was easy to change the subject and keep the conversation going. This woman wouldn't shut the **** up!

She seems somewhat retarted. She is well versed don't get me wrong, but I felt like I was talking to a 16 year old girl in a 41 year old womans body. I'm pretty sure she has a learning disability or something. I mean just the way she was talking made me think "THIS woman is 41!? Holy ****". I get the impression that she does NOT want a relationship, but she doesn't want just sex either. She wants to go out on dates and get out of her house.

So after a couple beers (and a tomato juice for her LOL), I'm ready to get out of the bar. Get the check and go to the beach. I knew at that point that I really had no interest in this woman except for a ONS. So I figured what the hell I'll go for the kiss close and see if I can make it happen. We go down to the beach and start walking, talking. She keeps touching my arm, bumping into me so I can tell she's feeling it. Then she grabs my hand and we continue walking down the beach. So I stop walking abruptly, pull her into me and kiss her. MY FIRST KISS EVER WHEN I WAS LIKE 14 WAS BETTER THAN THIS, THIS WOMAN WAS MOUTH WIDE OPEN...DISGUSTING. We make out for a little bit, then keep walking. And walking and she is rambling on and on about all this crap.

"You're in charge change11, I like how you're in charge".

I'll make a mental note about that for the future. Take charge, take control and LEAD women.

So I'm heading to our cars. She says oh it's getting late I should let you sleep, I don't want to make you late for work. When are we going out again? Am I going to see you again? We should go to XXX, OMG then we could go here! Whens our next date!? Do you want to go home? What do you want to do now? OMG I need to give you one of my houseplants!

I figured I probably could've suggested going somewhere more private. By this time however, I didn't even want to **** her! I just wanted to get the hell out of there! I just said "Idk I haven't decided what we're going to do next". So I go to leave, of course I have to kiss her again. So she keeps kissing me, I start to pull away, keeps kissing, then starts kissing my neck and I finally get out of there. "Text me when you get home, I can't wait for our next date!" THANK GOD I WAS FINALLY OUT OF THERE.

Of course she texts me this morning saying she had a great night, is happy, blah blah. I'll need to figure out how to get out of this one. If she doesn't get the hint from not responding then I'll just let her know that it won't work out.

Reflection:
Wow. I got home a little after midnight and packed a big bowl in my bong. Then sat there and started to think. I felt very LOW about myself, but I think it's a good thing because it will help me to become the MAN I want to be. I thought to myself, what level have I lowered myself to? I was not physically attracted to her, I found her weird, didn't enjoy talking with her...just very turned off by her. Yet there I was kissing her and hoping to **** her just for the sake of ****ing an older woman? I've realized that out of respect for MYSELF I need to qualify the **** out of women from now on. I felt a little sick to be honest, that I wanted sex enough to stick around with a woman who was turning me off.

I don't know if you guys read my other thread on here about my girlfriend. Well I am still seeing her. And I think I've (started) to appreciate the importance of spinning plates. Like a week ago my GF got mad at me for having to cancel plans at the last minute, I did call her early but I guess she didn't get my call. She called me, then go upset and was like fine I'll just talk to later. Bye. *Click*.

Honestly, before I probably would've called her back right away or texted her right after trying to apologize. I didn't do this though. I think that knowing that I had another option I just didn't give a **** about my GF's bull****. So when she said "fine I'll talk to you later. BYE". I didn't even care, I said alright bye. I wonder if she expected me to call or text, but when I didn't, she then texted me with something like "I can't belive you cancled like that I really was looking forward to haning out." She was even crying too. And it was funny, I DID NOT CARE, I DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR IT. So I simply texted back. "I didn't do anything wrong. You didn't get my phone call. That's not my fault." Then she called me and started getting upset and I SHUT HER DOWN immediately. In simpler terms, I told her none of this was my fault, it's her own problem that she is so upset and I don't wanna hear this **** anymore. I felt SOOO good. She shut up right away and apologized to me!

To summarize what I've taken from this experience:
1. QUALIFY. I will never again stoop to a level where I try to have sex with a woman that turns me off just so I can have sex. It's a pretty pathetic feeling.

2. INDIFFERENCE/SPINNING PLATES. No woman is worth putting up with bull****. I feel stronger from having shut down my GF and feel confident that I can continue to be like that. When she (or any woman) goes off on some bull****, I simply will not care! She wants to hang up on me? Fine, I'm off the phone quicker! She can deal with her own bull****... a womans bull**** will NOT bring me down anymore. Her problem, her responsibility to deal with it, not mine.

3. LIVE FOR ME. Basically, do what I want.Be honest with myself about what I WANT. Even if it means losing a woman, I need to improve on being honest with myself about what I want and then getting that thing (or getting rid of that thing, haha). There are always other options. But more importantly...I don't NEED any of those options. I can happy with myself getting laid 3 times a week or not getting laid at all. Women should be one SMALL part of life, not a big deal.

So...thanks for all the posts guys. Even though I didn't get a cougar****, it really was a positive experience as it will help my to continue pursuing becoming the MAN I want to be.

 

[RockaRolla25]

Rearranged the meet to last night....

WOW....not an entirely negative experience, I'm going to right a reflection on this experience.

Story:
So I get to the place. I hadn't seen this woman in almost a month and when I did see her it was VERY brief. Well, she wasn't nearly as attractive as I remembered. In fact I really wasn't that attracted to her. So we went in to grab some drinks. But, appearantly she doesn't drink!? Not sure why she agreed to meet for drinks.

So we get to chatting. You guys ever heard the saying of "an old single woman with cats"? Yeah? Well how about an old single woman with a dog, birds and over 70 house plants! She asked me if I had ever tried online dating...hello I am 21! Then she started talking about the weird emails she and her friends got from guys online. She also brought up dating, guys she's dated, politics, asked why I asked her out, some personal things....basically all things I do NOT want to talk about on a "first date". However it was easy to change the subject and keep the conversation going. This woman wouldn't shut the **** up!

She seems somewhat retarted. She is well versed don't get me wrong, but I felt like I was talking to a 16 year old girl in a 41 year old womans body. I'm pretty sure she has a learning disability or something. I mean just the way she was talking made me think "THIS woman is 41!? Holy ****". I get the impression that she does NOT want a relationship, but she doesn't want just sex either. She wants to go out on dates and get out of her house.

So after a couple beers (and a tomato juice for her LOL), I'm ready to get out of the bar. Get the check and go to the beach. I knew at that point that I really had no interest in this woman except for a ONS. So I figured what the hell I'll go for the kiss close and see if I can make it happen. We go down to the beach and start walking, talking. She keeps touching my arm, bumping into me so I can tell she's feeling it. Then she grabs my hand and we continue walking down the beach. So I stop walking abruptly, pull her into me and kiss her. MY FIRST KISS EVER WHEN I WAS LIKE 14 WAS BETTER THAN THIS, THIS WOMAN WAS MOUTH WIDE OPEN...DISGUSTING. We make out for a little bit, then keep walking. And walking and she is rambling on and on about all this crap.

"You're in charge change11, I like how you're in charge".

I'll make a mental note about that for the future. Take charge, take control and LEAD women.

So I'm heading to our cars. She says oh it's getting late I should let you sleep, I don't want to make you late for work. When are we going out again? Am I going to see you again? We should go to XXX, OMG then we could go here! Whens our next date!? Do you want to go home? What do you want to do now? OMG I need to give you one of my houseplants!

I figured I probably could've suggested going somewhere more private. By this time however, I didn't even want to **** her! I just wanted to get the hell out of there! I just said "Idk I haven't decided what we're going to do next". So I go to leave, of course I have to kiss her again. So she keeps kissing me, I start to pull away, keeps kissing, then starts kissing my neck and I finally get out of there. "Text me when you get home, I can't wait for our next date!" THANK GOD I WAS FINALLY OUT OF THERE.

Of course she texts me this morning saying she had a great night, is happy, blah blah. I'll need to figure out how to get out of this one. If she doesn't get the hint from not responding then I'll just let her know that it won't work out.

Reflection:
Wow. I got home a little after midnight and packed a big bowl in my bong. Then sat there and started to think. I felt very LOW about myself, but I think it's a good thing because it will help me to become the MAN I want to be. I thought to myself, what level have I lowered myself to? I was not physically attracted to her, I found her weird, didn't enjoy talking with her...just very turned off by her. Yet there I was kissing her and hoping to **** her just for the sake of ****ing an older woman? I've realized that out of respect for MYSELF I need to qualify the **** out of women from now on. I felt a little sick to be honest, that I wanted sex enough to stick around with a woman who was turning me off.

I don't know if you guys read my other thread on here about my girlfriend. Well I am still seeing her. And I think I've (started) to appreciate the importance of spinning plates. Like a week ago my GF got mad at me for having to cancel plans at the last minute, I did call her early but I guess she didn't get my call. She called me, then go upset and was like fine I'll just talk to later. Bye. *Click*.

Honestly, before I probably would've called her back right away or texted her right after trying to apologize. I didn't do this though. I think that knowing that I had another option I just didn't give a **** about my GF's bull****. So when she said "fine I'll talk to you later. BYE". I didn't even care, I said alright bye. I wonder if she expected me to call or text, but when I didn't, she then texted me with something like "I can't belive you cancled like that I really was looking forward to haning out." She was even crying too. And it was funny, I DID NOT CARE, I DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR IT. So I simply texted back. "I didn't do anything wrong. You didn't get my phone call. That's not my fault." Then she called me and started getting upset and I SHUT HER DOWN immediately. In simpler terms, I told her none of this was my fault, it's her own problem that she is so upset and I don't wanna hear this **** anymore. I felt SOOO good. She shut up right away and apologized to me!

To summarize what I've taken from this experience:
1. QUALIFY. I will never again stoop to a level where I try to have sex with a woman that turns me off just so I can have sex. It's a pretty pathetic feeling.

2. INDIFFERENCE/SPINNING PLATES. No woman is worth putting up with bull****. I feel stronger from having shut down my GF and feel confident that I can continue to be like that. When she (or any woman) goes off on some bull****, I simply will not care! She wants to hang up on me? Fine, I'm off the phone quicker! She can deal with her own bull****... a womans bull**** will NOT bring me down anymore. Her problem, her responsibility to deal with it, not mine.

3. LIVE FOR ME. Basically, do what I want.Be honest with myself about what I WANT. Even if it means losing a woman, I need to improve on being honest with myself about what I want and then getting that thing (or getting rid of that thing, haha). There are always other options. But more importantly...I don't NEED any of those options. I can happy with myself getting laid 3 times a week or not getting laid at all. Women should be one SMALL part of life, not a big deal.

So...thanks for all the posts guys. Even though I didn't get a cougar****, it really was a positive experience as it will help my to continue pursuing becoming the MAN I want to be.

Aha! You see?!?!? You see the bold?!?!?!?

Too many men are complaining about, "Why don't women just be upfront and tell you no instead of playing games?"

And here you are, a man, who is playing games with the woman instead of just telling her straight up, "NO!"

If a man is afraid to tell a woman, "NO," imagine how women feel when there's a big strong guy in their presence who can hurt them if they tell him, "NO."

How can we truly expect women to be honest with us when even men play the same game?

 

[f283000]

Thanks for the great field report change11.

I'm just curious how did she become non-attractive in like a month? Reading your OP and then your field report I mean did she put on like 10 pounds or something??

Aha! You see?!?!? You see the bold?!?!?!?

Too many men are complaining about, "Why don't women just be upfront and tell you no instead of playing games?"

And here you are, a man, who is playing games with the woman instead of just telling her straight up, "NO!"

If a man is afraid to tell a woman, "NO," imagine how women feel when there's a big strong guy in their presence who can hurt them if they tell him, "NO."

How can we truly expect women to be honest with us when even men play the same game?

ha! great post! I think OP should consider giving her the "friend card."

 

[nismo-4]

Judge nismo has reviewed your field report. I really respect you for doing this.

It's great to see you out on a date, but she really just wasn't that into you. She just wanted to know that she still "got it." You did have some great ending points, but still, take control and be upfront more. Sometimes you have to drop the girl into the friend zone. Older women sometimes need to be dropped there. Lay that pimp hand down.

If this is understood, we'll stand adjourned.

Case closed.

 

[change11]

Espi,

Ya definitly will need to find some more plates now! I don't have very much experience with women, as friends or sexually. I'm wondering to myself, if after I sleep with X amount of women that my whole mindset will shift. I think it will. I think it would be beneficial to me to get to say, having slept with 5 different women. Then once I've done that (and have the confidence...hey I've slept with 5 different women, I really am a prize) it will make finding/qualifiying future women easier for me.

RockaRolla25,

You're absolutely right. I guess a true DJ would have no problem being honest with a woman that he doesn't want to continue seeing. I think I'm going to tell her that I feel uncomfortable seeing each other considering we are co-workers, that the distance between us (about an hour apart) will make it very difficult to see each other, etc.

f283000,

I don't know. I guess I *thought* I rembered her being skinnier and younger looking. I mean she was wearing scrubs and it was 5am when I first saw her so maybe the scrubs and me being half awake made her seem more attractive? She isn't UGLY looks wise, I just wasn't as attracted as I thought. But the bigger thing that turned me off was what she talked about and how she talked about it. And also her kissing.

nismo-4,

Thanks for reading the FR. You really think she wasn't into me? Kissing, holding hands, talking about future dates, etc? I don't really care if she isn't into me but I have to say (and although my skills are very limited) I definitly thought she WAS pretty into to me.