Think I’m being played. Any views?

[countermart]

I went out with some girls and guys that work in another section of the same company. All the girls are quite a bit younger than me. Girl (1) she’s attractive, walks up beside me alone as we are going to the nightclub and says, “I’m staying with Girl (2) tonight, but it doesn’t have to be that way.” Me, kind of shocked said nothing. I changed the subject because I didn’t expect this at all. Yep, no awards to Countermart for thinking on his feet! Girl (1) and Girl (2) are friends.

The night is fun dancing, drinking away. Later in the night I get talking again with Girl (1), we are having a great time playing a few silly games, lots of chatting close to each other, eye contact a bit of touching, real close for a long time. Good fun vibe, close but not too much touching, as the girl works with all these other girls. Later Girl (2) a little cut out of it, says to Girl (1) , “We should go now, I’m kind of over the music”. Girl (2) says OK, and then to me, “Why don’t you go and dance with Girl 3?” Girl (3) likes me, but I am not into her so I don’t do that.

I flick off for a sec, when I get back the girls are leaving. Girl (2) (who has a boyfriend, but often tells me she is unhappy) hugs me and just does not let go. I am wondering what’s up with this? Actually, this is the second time Girl (2) has done this hard hug, don’t let go thing. Then Girl (1) lets me kiss her on the cheek but no hug, and is now kind of avoiding me!

OK, I know I should not get involved with girls at the same company. But has anyone else had this type of experience? Am I being played and what should I do about it, if anything? I am more interested in the dynamic than anything else.

Countermart.

 

[decades]

girls will be girls. I wouldn't try to over think one night out.

 

[decades]

girls will be girls. I wouldn't try to over think one night out.

 

[jophil28]

I
Girl (1) she’s attractive, walks up beside me alone as we are going to the nightclub and says, “I’m staying with Girl (2) tonight, but it doesn’t have to be that way.” Me, kind of shocked said nothing.

She offered herself to you, no strings, you said nothing and did little even when the penny dropped later wjen you had many opportunites. She felt rejected and showed you so by turning icy..

 

[Colossus]

Jophil is correct. Girl # 1 offered herself to you on a platter, basically, and you had all night to take it but didnt.

She prob felt a bit dejected that you didnt take her up on the offer, or at the least follow up with a number close or proper kiss, so she gave you a bit of distance towards the end.

This one might be lost, but next time seize that opportunity!

 

[Mr. Me]

You've only been played if you were, for example, buying them drinks. You weren't, were you?

>> Girl (1) she’s attractive, walks up beside me alone as we are going to the nightclub and says, "I’m staying with Girl (2) tonight, but it doesn’t have to be that way" >>

Yet, it turned out that way, so I suspect this was a ploy to get you to come out that night. For what purpose?

>> eye contact a bit of touching, real close for a long time. Good fun vibe, close but not too much touching >>

Was she touching you? Or is this about you touching her? She touching you is a good thing, you touching her if she's not touching you = creepy. Kino escalates only when its welcomed by the female.

But if she was into you, the mistake was tagging along with Girl 2 there, as she became the c#ckblocker ("We should go now...").

This is how I see the whole thing should've been handled in more of a "tight ship" fashion (not that I think dating co-workers is a smart move):

Girl (1) walks up beside me alone as we are going to the nightclub and says, "I’m staying with Girl (2) tonight, but it doesn’t have to be that way".

I say to Girl (1): "Hey, thanks, but I'm busy tonight. Tell you what, give me your phone number."

Then you'd avoid the later, yet unknown situation by taking control, indicate that you have a busy life going AND test to see if she was really interested in seeing you privately.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Girl (1) she’s attractive, walks up beside me alone as we are going to the nightclub and says, “I’m staying with Girl (2) tonight, but it doesn’t have to be that way.”


If that happens again, next time you tell every guy she talks to - loudly and in front of her, "hey, this one told me she wants to get laid tonight!"

That would be some funny sh!t Plus, you would probably end up being the one to go home with her, but the laughs you would get out of making fun of her should be more important - it's that dynamic that gets you laid anyway.

 

[countermart]

Fixable????

Thanks for the advice. I know I stuffed this one. Jophil28 and Colossus I think are correct and she just wanted to turn the tables on me at the end of the night, I guess for not isolating her. But under the circumstances it was difficult. Plus by the end of the night she was being influenced by her friend.

Mr Me. No I do not buy drinks for girls. Also Girl (1) did not need to say what she did as I was going out anyway we were walking to the nightclub.

Do you think this is unfixable, what is the best way forward? Any ideas or are there no second chances?

Countermart

 

[Mr. Me]

But under the circumstances it was difficult. Plus by the end of the night she was being influenced by her friend.

Harkens back to my point about controlling the environment.

Girl (1) did not need to say what she did as I was going out anyway we were walking to the nightclub.

You're right, I missed that. She didn't have to say it to get you to go. Right. But she said it for a purpose, and by default, I don't take women for what it *seems* they mean. It could've been, but then, maybe she was baiting you. Doesn't matter.

Do you have her number? If not, ask her for her number and see if she flinches or hands it right over. If you already have her number, wait a few days and call her, invite her out for a date. See what happens. Not that I think you should date coworkers.