Think Fast

[R19]

The following is getting zero traffic under The Archive "I have a boyfriend" and I find it hard to believe that this does not occur to those pushing the envelope or out there. So instead of getting all hot mess about whips, can someone please share their wisdom on this? Tips? If this thread goes anywhere, I bet it will help many of us. Thanks.

Many attractive, sought after women are wheelin' and dealin' so this is bound to happen as their suitors collide...

Consider the following scenario:
It may be at a bar/club in close quarters or at some other get together - anywhere. It's obvious that there is another guy that has something going on with the woman you are seeing. You don't know the other guy, but by each of your actions it is clear that there is a history of some type in play - i.e. neither of you just met her. She has never mentioned him.

What would you do if you are or believe that you are her higher interest (The Defender)?

What would you do if you are the one who is not where you want to be with her yet, but are seeing her and it is becomes apparent that she is seeing him as well (possibly higher IL in him making you The Aggressor)?

Clearly every situation can be different, but it will probably start to play out that she focuses on her higher interest in that moment and ignores the lower.

My recommendation is to keep it cool and think fast. I have found that women handle this type of confrontation poorly and the relative IL she has for each of you will dictate how things unfold. Her perception will be heavily biased by her IL. Don't get a 9mm put to your head because she's probably not worth it...

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

When I'm the new dog with a woman (I'm never the underdog, it'll either be her or someone else so cares?), I give them just enough to be attracted and to more importantly, create mystery. Let that other guy be the one to show her too much attention or act possessive when they're feeling each other out, let him tie his own rope. I work this way because I have annihilated any scarcity mentality I have had in the past.

 

[R19]

I work this way because I have annihilated any scarcity mentality I have had in the past.

Very good - thanks for the post. I understand the concept of driving a wedge and causing or enticing the other guy to behave in an erratic manner. When you're in the dominate position and making it happen, it's one of the finer pleasures.

So let's crank up the vested interest and tighten up the quarters.

Take the following example:
You are in the VIP of a lounge - i.e. an intimate setting. Guy A is seated with his chick of interest and a couple of her girlfriends at a table. Guy B shows up. Now either could have known her the longest or be the higher IL, but it is Bermuda Triangle City right then and there... It is clear that neither of you is some random... What do you do? Do you walk away? Do you ignore the other guy? Do you just play it cool and go with the flow or do you stir up some sh1t? I feel that many women do not like this type of confrontation.

I have had women hide me or hide him and variations of drama, but so far nothing has lead to a fight right then. And I have been on the favorable and a$$ end of the aftermath.

Thanks.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

Early in the game, fighting is a game killer. That's her easy out to drop your a$$ when she's got nothing invested, "he's a psycho!" They seem to go with the guy who doesn't start the fight, maybe not because he doesn't fight but because he doesn't seem to care enough to fight over her.

Plus, what happens afterwards? Does she go home with the guy who everybody is pissed at, who just spent a half hour yelling "I'll kick yer a$$" without, at least, really kicking someone's a$$? Say no. I think it's AFC to ever start a fight over a woman you are interested in (unless she is your wife or long LTR) because it reeks of being frustrated with the world, the girl, and your life. What woman wouldn't want this guy?