Things to talk about on a first date

[Josh Davidson]

I have a first date scheduled with a woman on Sunday.
What sort of things specifically should I talk about?
What questions should I ask?
What should I avoid saying?
(In the past I've always messed up first dates.)

When we talked on the phone she asked me: Is something wrong?
I said: No. I'm just a little nervous.
Then she said: I prefer texting.
Then I said: Ok. I'll text you from now on.
Via text I asked her if Sunday at 7 PM at a certain restaurant would work. And she texted: Yes

(I know that I don't have much game, but I don't seem to need much game with this woman since she seems really into me.)

 

[Black Widow Void]

There's a member on here that has a website on positive communication. As a person that prides himself on good communication, I've looked it over and it's pretty good. Not only do I think he can offer you some tips, but this will also give him a chance to promote his site as well.

If he doesn't get around to this posting, I'll return and post some pointers.

 

[Robert28]

As tempting as it is do not talk about exes! Hers or yours. If she brings it up, keep your answers very short if she mentions yours. If she mentions hers just brush it off and change the topic to something else. Don’t really talk about work too much. I’ve had tons of success when I let them do the talking but don’t sit there like a mute. Just don’t talk over them or cut them off constantly.

 

[Young OG]

I have a first date scheduled with a woman on Sunday.
What sort of things specifically should I talk about?
What questions should I ask?
What should I avoid saying?
(In the past I've always messed up first dates.)

When we talked on the phone she asked me: Is something wrong?
I said: No. I'm just a little nervous.
Then she said: I prefer texting.
Then I said: Ok. I'll text you from now on.
Via text I asked her if Sunday at 7 PM at a certain restaurant would work. And she texted: Yes

(I know that I don't have much game, but I don't seem to need much game with this woman since she seems really into me.)

You can talk about anything you want. Tv shows, movies, music, etc. Ask her some open ended questions. You can bridge off her answers. Just don't make it too interview sounding. Make sure you keep good eye contact during the conversations and don't talk about yourself too much.

You should have never told her you were nervous. It makes you sound weak. Do you think Channing Tatum would have said that? Also, dinner is a bad move on the first date. You will be sitting across from her which will make it feel interviewish and you won't be able to get physical with her. Plus, you will be out alot more money if she never puts out. Meeting for drinks would have been cheaper and better because you can sit right next to her. Good luck.

 

[Paper Crane]

man.. i dont even kow where to start.. theres just so much sht you can talk about--depends where you're trying to go with it but for general:

some fun questions: whats your favorite food?
craziest thing you ever done?
do you hav ea lot of friends?
what was your childhood like?
you into any sports? hobbies?
favorite color, music, movie, etc
what college did u go to/highschool/
have you traveled alot? what cities you been to? countries , etc
are you a romantic type, a closet freak, etc.-> this can lead to alot of fun sht, get more sexual etc
what was your worst date ever? (this is another fun one)
are you into fitness?

you can also talk about activities and places such as:
-Have you done <activity/ (ie: skydiving, rafting, rock climbing)
-Have you been to<restaurant, club, venue, event.?

you can get into more serious topics too like
what have ur past relationships been like?
how many relationships have u been in?
what are your goals short term, long term?
have you ever been needy? or do you tend to be anxious in relationships (this is important)


Just some regular sht.. I can talk to a girl for hours if I wanted to and keep them entertained.. thats one thing that sets me a part from alot of guys.. I could probably think of a lot more but you don't need anyone to tell you what to say or talk about.. one question basicalyl leads to another and convo should just flow naturally.. if you can't think of what to say next, i'd say really sit down and practice

 

[Visionist]

At the start of the date, always talk about something cool you own, big it up, even be arrogant. If she's into you she'll love it and if she's not you were never gonna get anywhere with her anyway.

It could be a cool jacket, or a pet, or a motorbike. I talk about my fragrance collection, having her talk about her experiences with fragrances, I also make cócky statements about her and what kind of fragrances she reminds me of and why.

Then I leave it and have her talk about herself in general.

Then at the end of the date (I decide when that is) I have an inbuilt excuse to bring her home and check out my fragrances. She has to smell them, right. Talking about them wouldn't be enough...

 

[Josh Davidson]

Josh, post a Field Report of the date and let us know how it went.

Ok. I will.

 

[Kynan]

Thanks for the shoutout @Black Widow Void.

@Josh Davidson,

A woman will tell you what to ask her, if you listen well. Your job is to get her talking and lead the conversation, so she reveals the things you should ask her.

I would recommend checking out this article I wrote many years ago. I've evolved my method since then, but it's sound for someone getting started...

A Guide to Making Interesting Conversation

Introduction Most people are boring in their conversations. You ... may be boring. I don’t know yet. You may bore many of the people in your life ... and not even realize it yet. It’s possible. I certainly used to. But I do know they’d never tell you if they thought you were a bore to...

www.sosuave.net

Many guys here say you should listen 80% and talk 20%. I strongly disagree with this. Our job is to, in part, showcase our personality, and we can't do that if we're not talking and sharing at least half the time. We should aim for 50/50, and make adjustments depending on whether the woman is outspoken or shy and reserved.

It's not so much what you ask or say specifically. It's more about revealing who you are and what your life is all about and encouraging her to share the same with you, and looking for common ground. That's how connections are formed. And questions are simply a vehicle to achieve that. If we're just looking for questions we can fire off, it's going to feel like an interview or even an interrogation. Naturally, we don't want that. So instead of asking what questions to ask her, I would encourage you to just develop a curiosity about her and her life. Then you'll naturally ask the "right" questions at the right times.

In the above article, I outlined the things you should be wanting to know about her and inquire about, and how you should go about leading the conversations onto those topics. I would suggest you read it, and ask any questions you may have afterwards. Some guys here have attacked my approach, but I know the results is produces.