They will ALWAYS come back if........

[Barrister]

I think so long as you are aloof after a breakup (regardless if it is an LTR, plate, etc.) there is always a reach out from her to test the waters with you afterwards. When that reach out happens can vary greatly. It may be in 2 weeks or in 2 years, but women's curiosity almost always gets the best of them and they can't stand to feel like you "outdid" them in the IDGAF sweepstakes following the breakup.

Just be wary that many times this is just a validation tactic to see if you are still interested. It doesn't (necessarily) mean she is DTF suddenly. Keep your poise and be cautious. As others have pointed out, the juice normally isn't worth the squeeze at that point even if it is available.

 

[startstrongtoday22]

The key is this: a woman comes back to a guy because she needs validation. She needs to feel that there is at least some guy or sucker out there who is willing to lay his pipe in them or that is willing to listen to their nonsense. Most of the time, it is just a validation seeking attempt. It helps their ego, realizing that there is some guy who is willing to chase them. They love the chase. Women love being chased and like chasing someone.

The best method with a woman that did not workout is no contact. They can come back anytime and anywhere. We have to have control over ourselves and not think with our d1cks but with our heads. If a chick comes back after three months or three years, the whole point is she is NOT coming back for you, but for her! NOT YOU but HER. Once we realize this, we can determine what we wish to do.

When they usually reach out, it's best to be blunt and tell them that you want to sleep with them or not or just do not feel their energy is useful for you in your life. At the end of the day, they are being selfish reaching out to you, so you can be selfish in rejecting them or dictating the terms.

 

[startstrongtoday22]

I think so long as you are aloof after a breakup (regardless if it is an LTR, plate, etc.) there is always a reach out from her to test the waters with you afterwards. When that reach out happens can vary greatly. It may be in 2 weeks or in 2 years, but women's curiosity almost always gets the best of them and they can't stand to feel like you "outdid" them in the IDGAF sweepstakes following the breakup.

Just be wary that many times this is just a validation tactic to see if you are still interested. It doesn't (necessarily) mean she is DTF suddenly. Keep your poise and be cautious. As others have pointed out, the juice normally isn't worth the squeeze at that point even if it is available.

Haha so true. I chased an ex, and even took her out twice for dinner - not because of her but because i wanted her company. Before her bday I told her I wanted to take her out, and then she threw it in my face that there is another guy she was introduced to by her friend who had purportedly bought her gift and she was going to test that. She had a massive bday weekend it seems, and then called me the Wednesday of lol. I went no contact, and for three weeks she called at all sort of times and at all times imaginable, and even send me a text calling me an ******* because every time I called her she answered, and then she finally texted me asking "please call me ?!?", i still went no contact. I will remain no contact. She got outdid.

 

[manfrombelow]

Well, I agree 100% with everything OP's saying.

Just wanna add that it's important to remember that a man does all of these for HIMSELF, not for the purpose of "getting her back".

If you do everything (I mean everything) correctly, there's a slim chance she'll come back, but most of the time, by the time she comes back, you'll have already lost interest with her.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Well, I agree 100% with everything OP's saying.

Just wanna add that it's important to remember that a man does all of these for HIMSELF, not for the purpose of "getting her back".

If you do everything (I mean everything) correctly, there's a slim chance she'll come back, but most of the time, by the time she comes back, you'll have already lost interest with her.

I had a nasty break up with my ex and basically focused on developing myself instead of chasing women for a few months. Within about 4 months, I had upgraded jobs and apartments and I get the “hey I’m nearby” text from her. It wasn’t easy, but I told her to screw off forever and I haven’t heard from her since. I reasoned to myself that I did not want to bring in back that stress & drama in my life for some pootang.

 

[SmoothHendrixPS2]

Women are monogamous by nature and their DNA. Always have been, always will. The biology of what attracts males and females has not changed in 10,000+ years. Though some women cater to many beta male orbiters, I think it's because they cannot find ONE GOOD man to be with. I agree, to some degree, they do like the attention all the online BS gives them.

Yes, there are more and more Cluster B and all-out crazy women on the market today because of the breakdown of the nuclear family and all-around good parenting. This has created legions of "damaged" women that we hear most often about on SS. But, they are also the exception and minority on a percentage basis when compared to the population at large. Plus, most women under 30 are just plain immature, so expecting anything "adult" from them is a long shot at best.

Dating multiple men and never committing to one does go against their programming. It was not biologically advantageous for a woman to be out having sex with as many men as possible. No, they are "designed" to be monogamous and raise offspring--in any species. Sure, society had muddied the water with dating apps and social media but its' effects are fleeting for women.

In the end, masculinity (for women) and femininity (for men) rule the laws of attraction.

Women are not born monogamous.

Marriage is a social construct that was originally used as property exchange, and then popularized because men used it as a way to control womens sexual desires.

Insecure and controlling men have socially programmed women to be monogomous.

This is why we have feminism.

 

[Dr.Suave]

One of my ex is married, has a couple of kids. We broke up more than 15 years ago. She started textin me around November. She texts me at least once a week. My guess is she´s texting behind her husband´s back.

Apparently she gained a lot of weight during her pregancy and cant lose the weight anymore. My guess is the husband isnt f0cking her anymore so she´s looking for attention/valuidation elsewhere.

She´s texting weird stuff like "I feel you and I have always been connected". I show the texts to my current gf and we have a good laugh.

 

[startstrongtoday22]

I had a nasty break up with my ex and basically focused on developing myself instead of chasing women for a few months. Within about 4 months, I had upgraded jobs and apartments and I get the “hey I’m nearby” text from her. It wasn’t easy, but I told her to screw off forever and I haven’t heard from her since. I reasoned to myself that I did not want to bring in back that stress & drama in my life for some pootang.

you did the right thing. An ex is only good for a random lay even if it is worth it, and that is if she comes over, you get laid and she leaves without any bs - usually thats not the case because they just want attention. The fact that she texted and you told her to screw off, you got the power!

 

[startstrongtoday22]

One of my ex is married, has a couple of kids. We broke up more than 15 years ago. She started textin me around November. She texts me at least once a week. My guess is she´s texting behind her husband´s back.

Apparently she gained a lot of weight during her pregancy and cant lose the weight anymore. My guess is the husband isnt f0cking her anymore so she´s looking for attention/valuidation elsewhere.

She´s texting weird stuff like "I feel you and I have always been connected". I show the texts to my current gf and we have a good laugh.

Wow, 15 years lol. That's a long time man.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Wow, 15 years lol. That's a long time man.

Yeah bro. I guess I accidentally alpha-widow ed her.

 

[DreamAgain]

Back when I had a lot of things going wrong in my life, I supplicated to these "boomerang" messages from ex's and it was bait every single time, and I felt worse every single time replying to them.

I was a low value man, and believed they genuinely cared about me. It really is like @startstrongtoday22 says, the message is purely to see is there some sucker that I still have power over, am I still desirable so that the guy I actually want may give me attention if this other guy is giving it to me, etc.

Now, when I fixed all those bad parts of my life in those dark times, I will never, ever give a girl a second chance if we break up. It is over and it is no contact for life.

If for whatever reason I see her when I'm out, I will respond cordially as if any stranger began talking to me, but I will never:

a) ask her to hang out
b) communicate more than a token "that's great, good to hear you're doing well" type of response to anything she says.

I believe taking back your ex, even to smash, weakens your mental game and will mess up your frame with future prospects in your pipeline.

 

[startstrongtoday22]

Back when I had a lot of things going wrong in my life, I supplicated to these "boomerang" messages from ex's and it was bait every single time, and I felt worse every single time replying to them.

I was a low value man, and believed they genuinely cared about me. It really is like @startstrongtoday22 says, the message is purely to see is there some sucker that I still have power over, am I still desirable so that the guy I actually want may give me attention if this other guy is giving it to me, etc.

Now, when I fixed all those bad parts of my life in those dark times, I will never, ever give a girl a second chance if we break up. It is over and it is no contact for life.

If for whatever reason I see her when I'm out, I will respond cordially as if any stranger began talking to me, but I will never:

a) ask her to hang out
b) communicate more than a token "that's great, good to hear you're doing well" type of response to anything she says.

I believe taking back your ex, even to smash, weakens your mental game and will mess up your frame with future prospects in your pipeline.

Hey man, I couldn't agree with you more. An EX who reaches out is not reaching out for you brother. Whenever someone becomes an EX there is a reason for it. By going no contact and never responding to them, you get the power back, your dignity and self-respect. You just need to learn from the experience with EX by learning more about yourself. You need to learn what you like, can tolerate and do not like. Also, you can learn how to treat the next person better - and to be honest I have been doing that with the new people that I am talking to.

I wouldn't even acknowledge an EX if I see her to be honest. If I ever run into an ex, I ignore them like they do not even exist on this planet. This usually leads them to come to me and talk to me... and I usually say I am doing much better than before and while I was with her lol - I make that a known fact by dating her I learned what sort of woman to avoid, and how to avoid toxic people like her in my life. It sounds vegenful, but the truth is an EX is useless person lol that's why it's called an EX, so it's best to tell them they are useless. This is not an ego thing at all, it's just to show them they are useless.

 

[DreamAgain]

Hey man, I couldn't agree with you more. An EX who reaches out is not reaching out for you brother. Whenever someone becomes an EX there is a reason for it. By going no contact and never responding to them, you get the power back, your dignity and self-respect. You just need to learn from the experience with EX by learning more about yourself. You need to learn what you like, can tolerate and do not like. Also, you can learn how to treat the next person better - and to be honest I have been doing that with the new people that I am talking to.

I wouldn't even acknowledge an EX if I see her to be honest. If I ever run into an ex, I ignore them like they do not even exist on this planet. This usually leads them to come to me and talk to me... and I usually say I am doing much better than before and while I was with her lol - I make that a known fact by dating her I learned what sort of woman to avoid, and how to avoid toxic people like her in my life. It sounds vegenful, but the truth is an EX is useless person lol that's why it's called an EX, so it's best to tell them they are useless. This is not an ego thing at all, it's just to show them they are useless.

Yes that is a good approach. My only thing is, the optics of being "rude" to someone like that out in public, let's say you are with another friends group with maybe some other girls or whatever, may not be ideal. To me I don't really perceive it as rude, it's just moving on from a person who no longer has any reason to be in your life.

I will not ignore if I get asked why I am cutting contact/going no contact, as I feel it's fair if someone asks that they get an explanation. I don't like to act in a way that I wouldn't want someone to act to me, so I will be open and say I felt disrespected for xyz reason, and I have no desire to be platonic friends with someone. Maybe I will just say I'm busy and be more covert if I feel that is appropriate. But going the blocking route I will only do with people who incessantly text and don't get the message that their communication is no longer welcome.