you are exactly right mpimpin. Make no mistake. There is sOME very good advice here. I dont post everyday but I browse about once every other day to see if there is something that might be relating to my life I can use.
The problem is twofold. first of all, when you are knew, you dont' know what is good nad what is bad advice. I can now spot bull**** from the truth becuase i've been here 7 years. Some things just dont' jive with the DJ Bible and the principles that you learn here, but it takes a learning of the principles to know that.
Those people who don't bother to read the DJ bible, who dont' bother to go though the DJ Bootcamp that I made myself and many others made themselves go through, go on to give advice that is patched together, not right, and so on and so forth.
I've said it a couple of times, but most people here know i'm a recovering addict. everyone has heard of the 12 steps. Just here, you have to have a working knowledge of how the 12 steps work, and have had to work the steps, more than once (you aren't supposed to ever realy stop working the steps) to be able to help someone else. You have to understand it before you can help other people. You can share your experience strengh and hope with people but you can't actually or aren't supposed to sponser people utnil you have a true working knowledge behind the steps.
the crap we did here is for a reason. The Character building, the affirmations, the taking care of your body, the getting a strong footing on life in general, the going up to random ass women and talking to them just to get over the fear of rejection. These are all basic ass principles that I just plain don't see, and not only don't see, most people dont' care or could care less WHY we do them.
you can make all the " do looks really matter" post in the world, it's not going to change the fact that you need to get your lazy ass in the gym and hit the weights. If not for anything other than taking care of yourself.
We come here and get a tad bit of success with the opposite sex, and think life is made, we sit at home while the GF is off at work, and in the back of you r mind you are scared that her boss who is 5 years older than her and makes 3 times more money t han you make, might make a move on her, and you become jealous and spitful. No one is telling you to get rich, but a man's financial status will always go directly with his personal self esteem, he must be stable and be able to provide.
The bad sponsers in NA, the ones who are so caught on the ego trip of being a sponser, and like hearing themselves talk, go out and spread bad seeds of inromation just like that goes on here. the sad part is, the recovering addict fresh off the street will do anything and listen to anyone to stay clean. I have personally seen a sponser tell a guy to break up with his GF becuase he was not ready for a woman, then go and take the girl himself.
My whole point is, the reason this place is so bitter is becuase no one works the steps anymore. no one comes here and breaks down the DJ bible and stuides, shuts up and reads for a mintue. no one does the DJ boot camp, no one takes care of themselves. all this place has become is a somewaht more anti femisitic version of the old girlproblems site.