There is no way in HELL that "divorce rate" is only 50%

[Rescue Mission]

In America of course.

How is divorce rate even measured? How can it be calculated that 50% of couples who got married in lets say 2000 are still married in 2010? People are getting divorced every day, whether they got married in 2000 or 2003 or 1995.....they eventually end up divorced. Everywhere I look and read, hear, talk to, NO ONE is happily married and EVERYONE is "going through a divorce" or at the very least "working on their marriage" (this applies to people who are between 20 and 30 years old, as people who are more like 50 or 60 years old got married closer to back in the good ole days).

I think the happy marriages pretty much ended when women were allowed to open their mouth in the 1960's (no joke).

I am willing to bet that it is not 50% of "all" marriages end in divorce, I think it is more like 100% of MODERN marriages end in divorce.

There is no way to prove me wrong either, because people who have gotten married in the last 5 years, they are either divorced, or they have a good chance of getting divorced in the future.........and there is no way to prove whether I am wrong or right, because we can't predict the future!!

However, with the current society trend, a happy marriage until the man and woman are both senior citizens like our grandparents is pretty much impossible, because EVERYONE has way way WAY WAY WAY too much freedom to do as they please.........too much freedom = too much chaos.

Don't believe me? We're living it the last few decades, and it's consistently getting worse.

 

[Desdinova]

It's probably the baby boomers throwing everything off. A lot of them are married and have been raised to believe in the more traditional marriage and play the roles of man & woman instead of being 'equals'. Once more of them die off, the divorce rate will go up.

 

[Strelok]

Guys you're scaring me,the more i read here from americans and the more im afraid it will be the same here since all europe seems like a few years retarded america with a 10 years gap when it come to social trends.

 

[Nutz]

It's not actually 50%, but closer to 40something. However, that's as a whole. When you drill down to different demographics it is much higher in many inatances. For example, those who married at 18-22 have something like an 70 or 80% divorce rate after 5 years. Those that wait until much later in life have much lower divorce rates than the average.

 

[Rescue Mission]

It's not actually 50%, but closer to 40something. However, that's as a whole. When you drill down to different demographics it is much higher in many inatances. For example, those who married at 18-22 have something like an 70 or 80% divorce rate after 5 years. Those that wait until much later in life have much lower divorce rates than the average.

Pardon my french, but that is total pure BULLSHYT.

40%??
70 - 80%??

Again, how are these numbers being magically pulled from thin air? How can anyone know whether someone who got married 5 years ago will be getting divorced in the next 10 years or not?

According to these stats, if 1000 couples got married in 2005, then 600 of them will stay married forever.....but that is WRONG! Doesn't the stat essentially say that out of the 1000 couples that got married in 2005, 600 of them are STILL married on the DATE that the data was pulled, WHICH MEANS THEY HAVE JUST AS GOOD A CHANCE AS ANYONE ELSE TO GET DIVORCED IN THE YEARS TO COME!

Think about it....use your logical heads guys.......its more like 50% divorce rate AT THE TIME that the data is gathered, but divorces happen after 5, 10, 15, 20 years, but somehow I doubt that the data gathered addressed ALL divorces.

Besides, this is an impossible statistic to keep track of accurately on a yearly basis. I have not talked to or heard from anyone, including friends, family, co-workers, online forums, and radio shows, NOT ANYONE who is happily married after getting married in the last 10 years (not counting newleyweds) - they are either divorced, or sucking it up and essentially serving their jail sentence of marriage.

Here's a nice little question - why not have the wedding celebration, live together and act like you are married, and do EVERYTHING married people do, except NOT sign the damn contract? It's all about love after all, isn't it???

 

[FireOnTheMountain]

Well, my parents are still married after 30 years.

Also, when we're on the topic of the actual details of the statistics...I wonder if people are counted twice.

For example, two people get married, then divorced, then they both marry other people and get divorced again from them, etc etc. Meanwhile some people have stayed married the entire time.

 

[Nutz]

Pardon my french, but that is total pure BULLSHYT.

40%??
70 - 80%??

Again, how are these numbers being magically pulled from thin air? How can anyone know whether someone who got married 5 years ago will be getting divorced in the next 10 years or not?

According to these stats, if 1000 couples got married in 2005, then 600 of them will stay married forever.....but that is WRONG! Doesn't the stat essentially say that out of the 1000 couples that got married in 2005, 600 of them are STILL married on the DATE that the data was pulled, WHICH MEANS THEY HAVE JUST AS GOOD A CHANCE AS ANYONE ELSE TO GET DIVORCED IN THE YEARS TO COME!

Think about it....use your logical heads guys.......its more like 50% divorce rate AT THE TIME that the data is gathered, but divorces happen after 5, 10, 15, 20 years, but somehow I doubt that the data gathered addressed ALL divorces.

Besides, this is an impossible statistic to keep track of accurately on a yearly basis. I have not talked to or heard from anyone, including friends, family, co-workers, online forums, and radio shows, NOT ANYONE who is happily married after getting married in the last 10 years (not counting newleyweds) - they are either divorced, or sucking it up and essentially serving their jail sentence of marriage.

Here's a nice little question - why not have the wedding celebration, live together and act like you are married, and do EVERYTHING married people do, except NOT sign the damn contract? It's all about love after all, isn't it???

The statistics are out there man, you just got to look for them. The numbers I cited are from various studies I've read over the last year or so. The 5 and 10 year cutoffs for measurement are pretty standard too. The 40ish% of couples that divorce do so by year 10. That means more would still be married by year 5. However, the younger ones that get married, late teens & early 20s, rarely make it past 5 years so that's why it's easier to us that figure with certainty than the 10 year figure in most regular studies.


As for the part about just having a ceremony without the legally binding contract, I fully support that idea. However, some states may still get you with the common-law thing. Plus I think it's illegal in a lot of states to have a marriage ceremony and not have a license. I remember my priest back home explain this one day that it was illegal for him to perform the ceremony without the couple having a signed and state endorsed marriage contract.

 

[grinder]

So?

It sounds like you are placing a high value on this particular social convention. It matters too you.

Why?

Is it a bad thing that our society is trending towards more single people? Or are we yearning for the era of “Father Knows Best” when the divorce rate was low men had much more power, control, and dominance in our society. It has now been eroded away.

Unfortunately the “rules” have changed and we no longer simply inherit power, we must individually create it and prove we deserve it.

In the 50’s the secretarial pool in an office was a field of women ripe for plunder and marriage. We men had a clear career path in management. Now YOU are in that pool and you must claw your way up. Unpleasant, but that’s the way it is.

Marriage is a primitive artificial construct that is disappearing because it no longer fits in modern society. It’s the law of nature; that which is unnecessary disappears.

I say good riddance: Marriage, the Cinderella story, and the soulmate myth are all archetypes from a social structure that is no longer valid.

Change is inevitable. Your choice is to learn and adapt, or sit around being a malcontent.

 

[Rescue Mission]

So?

It sounds like you are placing a high value on this particular social convention. It matters too you.

Why?

Is it a bad thing that our society is trending towards more single people? Or are we yearning for the era of “Father Knows Best” when the divorce rate was low men had much more power, control, and dominance in our society. It has now been eroded away.

Unfortunately the “rules” have changed and we no longer simply inherit power, we must individually create it and prove we deserve it.

In the 50’s the secretarial pool in an office was a field of women ripe for plunder and marriage. We men had a clear career path in management. Now YOU are in that pool and you must claw your way up. Unpleasant, but that’s the way it is.

Marriage is a primitive artificial construct that is disappearing because it no longer fits in modern society. It’s the law of nature; that which is unnecessary disappears.

I say good riddance: Marriage, the Cinderella story, and the soulmate myth are all archetypes from a social structure that is no longer valid.

Change is inevitable. Your choice is to learn and adapt, or sit around being a malcontent.

Our society is not trending towards having more single people,

Our society is trending towards having more single MOMS and DIVORCED people.........smart people who are single and NEVER marry are a ridiculous minority in our society.

 

[sodbuster]

As more men decide not to marry,women may wake up and smell the coffee. BUT that is 20 or30 years out. In the meantime,marry a foreign one. Just like Japanese cars in the 60's vs Detroit iron.

 

[KarmaSutra]

It's probably the baby boomers throwing everything off. A lot of them are married and have been raised to believe in the more traditional marriage and play the roles of man & woman instead of being 'equals'. Once more of them die off, the divorce rate will go up.

More likely the marriage rate itself will go straight down the sh!tter as the new generation of men will refuse to see the act of marriage as an expectation of manhood.

We're realizing, as a global men's community, that we do not need a ring on our finger to prove we're men who know what we want in life.

 

[tinctrar]

Interesting post - and I agree wholeheartedly.

We as a society do have too much choice. Social networking has changed drastically with the internet. Mass media influences social ethics on a widescale basis.

Couple this with our societal outlook on upgrading. Im only 28 years old - but i know my parents and grandparents would acquire possessions and keep them. The washing machine that was 20 years old would be fixed until it couldnt be fixed. The beat up Buick would go through as many repairs as possible until it wouldnt move.

These days we always want something better - and its possible through technology. We are trained to upgrade instead of repair. Its cost-effective in most cases. Hence the "throw-away" philosophy.

Im ranting - my apologies. It will only get worse over time. If we accept it now we can plan to work around it.

This is why marriage is not the same as it was anymore.

Forgot to add that the "nuclear family" has shifted and is no longer the archetypical form it once was.

Forgot to add

 

[Nutz]

Our society is not trending towards having more single people,

Our society is trending towards having more single MOMS and DIVORCED people.........smart people who are single and NEVER marry are a ridiculous minority in our society.

But we're getting smarter about it. Marriage 2.0 is a raw deal for men in western society and fewer and fewer men are "getting into the line to lose half their sh*t". The number of men who have never married by 40 is going up and up, and last I saw is sitting around 20%. If it gets up over 30% or gods willing 40% there won't be enough single men to support the system and it'll crash and reset. That's the misandry bubble people are talking about and it's on it's way, it's just a matter of time. I think it'll be faster than a lot of people realize now that MRAs and PUAs are getting the word out about dating & relationships. Men are organizing at a never before seen rate. This site is just one such example and we're finally helping each other. As someone once said, imagine if there was a gender war and the men showed up? When feminism hijacked society we did nothing, but not people are standing up and fighting back, finally, after 40 years of denigration and being shamed. Slowly but surely things are changing.

 

[zekko]

The real question is if men boycott marriage what happens with the children? The propogation of the species? Do you just have kids out of wedlock or not have kids at all?

There are probably too many people in the world now so if you don't have kids I guess it's no disaster. The problem is when you have a big generation followed by a smaller one. This is like the baby boomer situation - we're having all these people retiring at the same time, and there aren't enough taxpayers (their children) to keep the system going.

Men are organizing at a never before seen rate. This site is just one such example and we're finally helping each other. As someone once said, imagine if there was a gender war and the men showed up? When feminism hijacked society we did nothing, but not people are standing up and fighting back, finally, after 40 years of denigration and being shamed. Slowly but surely things are changing.

I agree that marriage might not be the best choice for guys these days, but just what is it you're expecting or wanting to happen? I keep hearing people call for change, but what sort of change exactly?

Our society is trending towards having more single MOMS and DIVORCED people.........smart people who are single and NEVER marry are a ridiculous minority in our society.

When I got married, my attitude was "This is life and I'll try anything once". As it turned out, it didn't work out, but I wasn't overly damaged by it. The relationship lasted 10 years, so it's hard to call it a complete failure. I wouldn't go back and change it, as a life experience I thought it was worth it.

 

[Reyaj]

The real question is if men boycott marriage what happens with the children? The propogation of the species? Do you just have kids out of wedlock or not have kids at all?

There are probably too many people in the world now so if you don't have kids I guess it's no disaster. The problem is when you have a big generation followed by a smaller one. This is like the baby boomer situation - we're having all these people retiring at the same time, and there aren't enough taxpayers (their children) to keep the system going.


I agree that marriage might not be the best choice for guys these days, but just what is it you're expecting or wanting to happen? I keep hearing people call for change, but what sort of change exactly?


When I got married, my attitude was "This is life and I'll try anything once". As it turned out, it didn't work out, but I wasn't overly damaged by it. The relationship lasted 10 years, so it's hard to call it a complete failure. I wouldn't go back and change it, as a life experience I thought it was worth it.

You sound like someone that can provide insight from real experience. These are the people I look to most when asking questions.

So why did you get divorced after 10 years? Was it the marriage deteriorating year after year or did it suddenly get bad?

 

[5string]

You sound like someone that can provide insight from real experience. These are the people I look to most when asking questions.

So why did you get divorced after 10 years? Was it the marriage deteriorating year after year or did it suddenly get bad?

Although you didnt ask me the question, I can speak from experience. I was married for 25. Raised her two kids and never had any with her. When she hit menopause in her early 40's, she changed emotionally and mentally. No longer satisfied with anything. Constant sh!t tests and drama. Theatened to leave. The second time she threatened to leave, she said she was sorry. I told if she did it again, she was gone. Well guess what? She did it again, and I kicked her out and filed on her. On another note, she got half of everything despite the fact that she made about 1/4 what I did. Ouch! A very raw deal. You'd think that you could make it after 25 yrs. Not always the case.

 

[jonwon]

50% of marriages end in divorce.

Lets also add in.

The % of marriages that are unhappy.

The % of marriages where the couple are seperated

The % of marriages the guy is an unwitting bystander to a cuckhold (his kid aint really his).

The figures shoot up drastically.

I believe 8 % of women subject men to cuck hold, add that small % in the 50% of married people and the figures go down - also add in that probably 15% of those marriages are unhappy, and add in about 10% of marriages are nothing but that on paper, with the couples living seperate lives, who just haven't got round to get the papers sorted yet (on average it can take up to 2-5 years for people to actually be arsed to get the paper work done in divorce).

People say getting married is like flipping a coin, 50% it will work, 50% it wont, that is simply wishful thinking -

 

[Reyaj]

Although you didnt ask me the question, I can speak from experience. I was married for 25. Raised her two kids and never had any with her. When she hit menopause in her early 40's, she changed emotionally and mentally. No longer satisfied with anything. Constant sh!t tests and drama. Theatened to leave. The second time she threatened to leave, she said she was sorry. I told if she did it again, she was gone. Well guess what? She did it again, and I kicked her out and filed on her. On another note, she got half of everything despite the fact that she made about 1/4 what I did. Ouch! A very raw deal. You'd think that you could make it after 25 yrs. Not always the case.

wow.... I think menopause is inevitable for any woman.. and I've seen how wacko they become from women in my family.... very discouraging....

 

[SoCalMike]

I have a couple friends from High School that have been married 10+ years and seem happy, but it's impossible to say for certain if they really are, I don't know what goes on in their private lives.

I like the idea of settling down with one woman, provided she's a hard worker, pulls her weight, is hot, gives me sex whenever I want, etc. But as we all know, this is very hard to find.

I was married once, now I'm divorced and I vow that will NEVER go through a divorce again. If I can't find what I'm looking for, I'm content to remain single the rest of my life.

 

[Warrior74]

Yes--you're correct about common law...most states decree that if you live 2 years with the same woman, she can take you to court and get half of everything you own--i.e. 50% of your pre-tax dollars...because in the state's eyes, you and she are married.

Fortunately in my state its not about living together, its about representation. A friend of mine went to court with his ex girlfriend who tried to use common law marriage to get his house. But the way the law reads, you have to represent her to everyone as your "wife" she has to either take your last name in public or be introduced and commonly thought of as your wife. He always introduced her as his girlfriend and brought in a string of people including her friends to prove that he never presented her as his wife. Brilliant.

An older guy I know (65-70ish) had his 30 year old girlfriend living in his guest house. When she wanted alimony and half as well as child support, he pulled out his trump card, the guest house had a separate address and she had signed a lease although she didn't have to pay it. Thus proving they were not cohabitants and she was entitled to only child support.

Gotta be smart!