The Zen of Indifference.........

[gixxer]

I'm in sort of a writing mood tonight so I figured I'd finally post this.

I've begun to approach a feeling of complete indifference toward women. I truly don't care if I have a date or not, if I get laid at a particular time or not, how a girl feels about me or our "relationship", or if she get's pi$$ed at me. I am becoming completely indifferent. I don't return phone calls if I don't want to. I let emails go unanswered for days and days. I don't appologize. I don't give a f#ck!

Here's a note from my journal:

**Week of 7/4/2005 began to feel strong indifference toward women. My game started changing - I'm having more fun teasing and being unavailable. Neediness is decreasing. I don't feel I really need any one particular woman anymore - I am becoming indifferent to the outcome.**

One great effect on things is that I don't put up with games and BS anymore because if a girl makes things too hard for me I leave BEACUSE I JUST DON'T CARE.

Last week this girl I've dated off and on called me after we f#cked a few days before. She's all crying and *****ing on my voice mail that I'm using her and she wants an LTR and I'm a jerk, blah, blah......... I JUST IGNORED HER AND DIDN'T CALL BACK LOL A year ago I would have been on the phone and up all night talking and all freaked out. So what happens? She emails me a few days later (after I completely ignored her!) to see if I want to hang out on Friday night!

It's Zen, man.............

I'm kind of rambling here, but I mainly wanted to make the point and see how many other guys on here have experienced this kind of feeling.

gixx

 

[drZaius09]

Originally posted by gixxer
I've begun to approach a feeling of complete indifference toward women. I truly don't care if I have a date or not, if I get laid at a particular time or not, how a girl feels about me or our "relationship", or if she get's pi$$ed at me. I am becoming completely indifferent. I don't return phone calls if I don't want to. I let emails go unanswered for days and days. I don't appologize. I don't give a f#ck!

Nice. I like this guy ... finally someone who's made some real progress.

One great effect on things is that I don't put up with games and BS anymore because if a girl makes things too hard for me I leave BEACUSE I JUST DON'T CARE.

:cheer: YES! I shall continue cheerleading for the Gixx! :cheer:

I'm kind of rambling here, but I mainly wanted to make the point and see how many other guys on here have experienced this kind of feeling.

Do I really have to raise my hand?

:cheer: G!:cheer: I!:cheer: X!:cheer: X!:cheer:

 

[GirlCrazy]

I think you'll go far in life amigo, and that there's something Zen about that attitude. Mastery of your emotions will serve you well.

Here's another Zen trip for you. It's called the "beginner's mind". It says that basically every day you start fresh. Don't think you know anything, don't dwell on whatever happened yesterday, and don't mentally prepare for anything. Every day is like being born, except you're born with a cool car.

Someone (his brother was a zen monk) turned me on to this years ago because I used to get jittery before big presentations in front of lots of people, but I found out it works with women too. Just clear your mind, and enjoy the experience. Don't plan anything - be spontaneous. Whatever happens, happens. It's all new and it's all good.

I'm kind of rambling here, but I mainly wanted to make the point and see how many other guys on here have experienced this kind of feeling.

I practice the same sort of thing, but I prefer to call it emotional detachment. I mean ****, if I were totally indifferent, I'd be walking around in my boxers with a bottle of tequila, slapping every chick I saw on the ass. Arrest warrants would soon follow.

For me the goal is to be smooth as silk, and cold as ice. Self control all the way. Zen works.

 

[( . )( . )]

Excellent post. Reminds me of "The power of now" This is what every DJ should be striving for. Actually striving is probably the wrong word to use. Obtain by letting go is probably a better choice of words.

Well done gixxer, hold on to it.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Not to put too fine a point on it, but if you were completely indifferent, would it be necessary to post on a public forum declaring your indifference?

Heh,..sorry couldn't resist.

 

[gixxer]

Wow, I've got my own cheering section!

As far as your comment rollo, it's a new found indiffernce and I'm still excited enough by it that I like to talk about it :cheer: It also doensn't hurt to openly reaffirm things that we want to continue happening. But, I'm sure you knew that

I think we shold all make an effort to help some of the other guys on the board understand that this is the appropriate attitude to have with women. I know a lot of them won't want to hear it or practice it, but if we can save just one or two..................

Maybe you have to get beat up enough to figure it out on your own and it just can't be communicated to someone through words. I know I wouldn't have "got it" a few years ago no matter who told me. I had to get rolled over and over again by mean, decitful, nasty b!tches until it finally sunk in. The David D stuff was key too. It made me see that devoting time to myself and my career and interests and making myself unavailable and hard to get a hold of would pull women to me not push them away.

gixx

 

[jefe96]

I'm a newbie and definitely getting myself on the RAFC road. I feel that I'm already starting to 'get it'. Looking back on my most recent AFC short circuit I can see the mistakes that I made, and the stupid things I did. There's no need to make myself available 24/7 to be some chick's chump and then get nothing out of it! It hasn't totally sunk in yet, but it's getting there. Thanks!

 

[Pookie]

Don't confuse Zen with being inconsiderate.

You can show indifference without ignoring people's e-mails.

I have the same attitude. I began to serious practice (do sittings in the local Zendo) about a year ago.

I have never had more friends in my entire life. They try to cling to me and hardly a week goes by I don't get asked out on a date.

Relationships I have with others are more fulfilling because I am not focused on getting what I want. I just relax and try to have fun with the other person and enjoy them for what they are. I have never been happier in all my life.

 

[Ricky]

This is good!

I have gotten this way as well. I've been real busy from work and study but now I have more free time and have several goals I'll relate in other posts.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

I JUST IGNORED HER AND DIDN'T CALL BACK LOL A year ago I would have been on the phone and up all night talking and all freaked out. So what happens? She emails me a few days later (after I completely ignored her!) to see if I want to hang out on Friday night!

AWESOME.....

Im getting to tHE point where I'm living a life of indifference and it is totally changing my life. I've also copied a tony robbins idea of the mental health diet, where you do not acknowledge or get trapped down by negative thougts. It is so freeing........I am the light.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I am happy to see so many people experiencing spiritual fulfillment.

I have just stopped caring what other people think

Moses (you may know him as Charlton Heston in The 10 Commandments) said "do not fear any man, for judgement belongs to God."

Also, you may know the names "Samson and Delilah" as bible characters. There is a Grateful Dead song by the same name. Samson was the ultimate AFC over Delilah. He was a giant of man who everyone feared, but he got oneitis over Delilah. He tried to do anything to win her affection, but it bored her, and she pushed him to the point of his own destruction.
http://bible.gospelcom.net/passage/?book_id=7&chapter=16&version=31&context=chapter

These stories are thousands of years old. The lessons we are learning in our own life are what men have been going through since the beginning of time.

 

[Pookie]

To quote George Orwell, "The main motive for ''nonattachment'' is a desire to escape from the pain of living, and above all from love, which, sexual or non-sexual, is hard work."

 

[Royal Elite]

First i just like to say congrats to gixxer for "getting it" And second I just like to say that America has deluded us with what is Man should be for so long that when we rediscover what a Man is we rename it to zen of indifference. All you have done was rediscovered the Man in you. Men are not suppose to reveal in emotions we are too be leaders. Leaders of our nations, leaders of our families and leaders of ourselves. At that means not worrying about every emotion someone throws ourway. The only real Men as a whole in the united states today are soildiers. They are retrained from what they have been trained to control their emotional state of being. That is way women usually go gaga over cats in the army or other branches of the service because most of these guys are men. Congrats once again on finding why God gave you balls.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

They are retrained from what they have been trained to control their emotional state of being.

I can't agree with soldiers as a group being the only real men left, Nor can I agree with "we just rediscovered what being a man is all about," Personally, my goal is not to be free from all emotion, but to only care about the things that matter to me. I want to feel and deal with the ups and downs of life without allowing it to over burden me. I think I'm getting there.

True leadership isnt about domination, its is about empowering the next person to be their best. I qualify the hell out of women and check them when they get out of line; my intention in doing so is to have them correct their behavior and have them become more of the person they should be.

Womens magazines often talk about teaching a man how to love them, why cant we do this with women. I can teach my F-buddy and other companions what I expect and what i need from them. This is the type of leader I want to be.

 

[manuva]

Originally posted by Bible_Belt
I am happy to see so many people experiencing spiritual fulfillment.

I have just stopped caring what other people think

Moses (you may know him as Charlton Heston in The 10 Commandments) said "do not fear any man, for judgement belongs to God."

Also, you may know the names "Samson and Delilah" as bible characters. There is a Grateful Dead song by the same name. Samson was the ultimate AFC over Delilah. He was a giant of man who everyone feared, but he got oneitis over Delilah. He tried to do anything to win her affection, but it bored her, and she pushed him to the point of his own destruction.
http://bible.gospelcom.net/passage/?book_id=7&chapter=16&version=31&context=chapter

These stories are thousands of years old. The lessons we are learning in our own life are what men have been going through since the beginning of time.

This crap does not belong on these forums. Take it walking.

 

[Bible_Belt]

This crap does not belong on these forums. Take it walking.

There are none so blind as those who will not see.

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
I can't agree with soldiers as a group being the only real men left, Nor can I agree with "we just rediscovered what being a man is all about," Personally, my goal is not to be free from all emotion, but to only care about the things that matter to me. I want to feel and deal with the ups and downs of life without allowing it to over burden me. I think I'm getting there.

True leadership isnt about domination, its is about empowering the next person to be their best. I qualify the hell out of women and check them when they get out of line; my intention in doing so is to have them correct their behavior and have them become more of the person they should be.

Womens magazines often talk about teaching a man how to love them, why cant we do this with women. I can teach my F-buddy and other companions what I expect and what i need from them. This is the type of leader I want to be.

Firstly there is no such thing as being void of emotions its an impossiblity. Soildiers are taught to control them meaning just because you feel anger doesnt mean you punch a wall. Just because you like a woman doesnt mean you let her walk all over you.

secondly stop with all the in a perfect world stuff. In the real world you live in called earth leadership is about domination. The strong dominate the weak. Doesnt matter how anyone "feels" about it that is how it is. It is what it is.

It doesn't matter what should be, or what could be, the only thing that matters is what is! Thats why the powerful stay powerful and the weak stay weak, because the powerful "get it" and the weak live in a fictional, imaginary world.

 

[gixxer]

Actually, bible_belt's post was relevent to the conversation. I read the story and found a lot in it that applied.

David D tells that story in his Mastery Series.........

gixx

 

[MrLuvr]

Originally posted by Royal Elite
Firstly there is no such thing as being void of emotions its an impossiblity.

Actually Zen does preach being void of emotions and tells you how to get there.

The whole point is detachment from worldly things. There is suffering in the world. There is a cause for suffering. The suffering can be removed. This is done by removing desire and craving.

It has nothing to do with "being a man" that you seem to be going on about. You just don't get it.

 

[Pookie]

It has nothing to do with "being a man" that you seem to be going on about. You just don't get it.

I agree. Being a "man" or a "real man"... who cares? Fact is, the Zen mind frame is a relieving approach to the world and relationships seem to work better.