The Worst Games

[Genghis Juan]

Think back to your dating experiences over the years, the mistakes you made and the lessons you learned from them. What are some of the most annoying games and BS that some girl(s) have put you through (at the datings stage, not talking about LTR's)? Afterwards, learning the lesson(s), how did you handle the next girl that tried to play the same game with you?

 

[Survivor]

I don't think its any particular game as much as it's learning to place more value upon yourself than on the woman.

If you are so focused on passing any specfic "test", then your thought process is reactive and thus, anything you say or do will be from a position of weakness.

At least that's what I've learned over the years.

 

[Chrispy]

As Survivor posted, you can't really take one set of learnings and apply it to the next, unless it's stuff like mannerisms, confidence, brushing things off, and building a thicker skin. I think after many bad dates or people that just don't fit, the thing you do learn is that you want to filter out for girls you want in your life, not the other way around.

 

[sapphire]

games ande tests

I can only describe how I have dealt with games and tests using two recent examples and the results:

1. This pretty hot girl (8.5) who I dated briefy agrees to go out on a date. Last minute she says can't make it and does not even counter offer or give a valid excuse. Calls me the next day suggesting that we go out that night.

Old AFC me: I would have gladly accepted her suggestion to go out that night therefore giving her all the power and elevating me to wuss status in her eyes.

The new me: I declined and told her that I had already made plans to go out with a "friend" and that "perhaps" I will call her "sometime" to go out again.

Result: This girl called me almost incessantly the following week whereas she hardly called at all and I felt that she put me on a pedestal all of a sudden. Sort of a female version of an AFC saying how great I am, etc. In the end I had all the power because I saw through her games and did not put up with them.
.
2. This other hot girl calls me and says that she wants to meet me, etc at the book store where I was at. She shows up in a sexy and reaviling outfit but about 20 minutes later says that she has to go and see her friend who is having problems which is BS.

Old AFC me: I would have begged her to stay.

The new me: I said fine, told her goodbye and sat there reading a book.

Result: About two weeks later she calls apologizing, saying how great I am, etc. similar to girl #1, and that she wants to see me again, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. I said OK I will call you sometime to arrange something. Never called her and that was about three weeks ago. Again, this girl thought I was an AFC like the others and was quite surprised that I did not put up with her games and other BS.


Yes women play games, especially the hotter ones. But like Survivor said, you can't keep jumping through their hoops in a reactive manner; it all comes down to self worth and dignity.

 

[Genghis Juan]

Thanks for the replies. I was just looking to trade stories of the games some girls have played on you, and what your reactions were.

I've been in the longest dating slump that I can remember. Almost always, after a certain amount of time in the hunt, I would either get a significant piece of action, or I would get a gf. However, its just not happening; hitting ground outs and fly outs. Its been several months of this. I think I need to go back to the drawing board and reconsider my strategy.

 

[MindOverMatter]

The best way to handle the games is to not give a damn about the girl. If you can realize that she is easily replacable, you stop caring about games she plays, and if they start to get annoying, you have enough balls to walk away and not give her a second thought. Once you have this mental state, you're immune to their games, and that makes them want you more, because you're not one of those chumps that feeds into her drama.

 

[TrickyD]

Trust your Gut....

I agree w/ everyone on this thread but will add that you should trust your gut always!!!

I just got out of a relationship a week ago and she even played the "let's try it one more time" game/test (which I fell for hook, line and sinker -- she just wanted to string me along to get attention while she looked for someone else). Being an AFC in recovery, I ignored every sign in the book that she had lost interest in me weeks ago and put myself through needless over-analyzing and heartache. If I had been more aware (i.e. recognizing the signs, trusting my gut) I would have got out earlier and went from there...

The bottom line is that you have instincs for a reason... trust them!

 

[Genghis Juan]

Tricky D

Ha! The most recent girl I was seeing is from TN.

 

[TrickyD]

Genghis Juan -- Southern Girls...

Really!

I've only lived in the south for 5 years (originally from CA) and they are definitely a different breed altogether...

What kinda games did she play?

 

[Genghis Juan]

TN Girl

She moved up here for work.

I wouldn't say this particular girl played games. We were seeing eachother for three weeks. On the most recent date, I wasn't 100% because I was tired from work; should have postponed the date; may have been my downfall. She's 34 yo and I'm 28 yo and she's a doctor.

We had a 3 dates, and she seems really into it - touchy, feely, kino, we made out at her initiation twice. Unfortunately, on the last date, I was kind of out of it (tired), but everything was fine, but during the movie, I didn't make a move, and after the movie her mood changed big time for the worse. As we walked by a group of young girls she said bitterly "Maybe you should be hanging out with them".

Although she jumped my bones in the car, it petered out. She returned my call the next week, apologizing for taking a few days to call back, then I called back, left a vmail, then nothing for over 2 weeks (one of those weeks her "brother" and nephews was in town staying with her after which her parents were coming up afterwards to stay with her for awhile).

So I called again on the cell phone, got her and the phone convo wasn't that great. She said she was going to TX this weekend for a job interview on Monday. The cell phone reception was horrible (F cell phones), but she said she'd call (yeah right), and she understood that I was tired from work ont he last date etc. I deleted her digits from my cell.

I know this ridiculous to say but, is it too much to ask for a girl (especially at 34yo) whom you're seeing for 3 weeks to at least drop you a line (by email even) just to let you know if she is no longer interested? I guess courtesy is too much to ask for, even for a "mature" woman whose a doctor huh? I mean, if she can't be courteous and "together", what woman can?

I haven't had too much bad luck with games per se, just one girl tried to string me along, much like you said, but I snapped out of it and cut her loose. I just wanted some people to share some war stories.

Tell me about your theory on Southern Girls. I have dated only two, and they seemed kind of weird...off for some reason, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

Sorry but just one last rant - I'm going to keep hunting to get laid and what I want, but to tell you the sincere truth.. . I couldn't give a rat's ass if I get married anymore or have kids, women are just too messed up. I've had 2 LTR's and a heap load of dates, some f-buddies like the rest of us, and its just so rare to meet a calm/together woman without the drama. Its an oxymoron, like looking for an elephant that can fly.

I'm not even that horny as I used to me. Sex has lost its novelty, so that aspect doesn't control me. I just want a woman I can build something with, or have an F buddy without the craziness. I'm just burnt out with women. They constanty complain about everything, analyze everything, and never reveal what the hell they really want. I've dated younger, older and everything in between, had an LTR with younger, LTR with older, same crap. Nothing changes. Just looking at women and hearing their loud annoying voices makes me annoyed. I think I'll just stay away for awhile, and get this toxin out of my system.

Rant done, stepping off the soap box. Nice.

 

[TrickyD]

Amen....

I definitely hear ya Genghis...

My last three were nothing but drama. It's almost like I've been dating 9-12 year olds instead on 25-35 year old women. If they don't get their way (max attention, sex on demand, etc.) the drama/games begin. I think Player_Supreme has a description of the 3 types of girls (Good Girl, Ho and Freak) and I've been pulling freaks for what seems like forever... I'm still have some hope that there are some good girls left out there but like an old song said "... faith is an island in the setting sun."

As for Southern women... there is definitely a lack of something with them. My estimate is that they lack a certain class about them that Northeast/West Coast girls have. My last 2 were from small towns so that may have something to do with it. Don't get me wrong, they are very intelligent women (one's a Nurse Practitioner the other a Pharmacist) but they lacked that certain something and it became more apparent when they didn't get their way...

Thoughts?

 

[disciple]

I think the biggest thing that I had to learn was to realize that I'm the prize that SHE has to win, and not the other way around.

Speaking of girl's games and tests, you just have to remember that when a girl throws games and tests at you she is really throwing game at you to see if you are a true player and recognize it and call her on her sh*t.

Remember, game should always recognize game.

 

[Chrispy]

I wouldn't expect a follow-up "break-up" message from the doctor...they're usually very busy so all the better. Besides, this might be bad observation, but maybe she wants to keep you as an option? I'm curious why you petered out...were you not into her or were you really tired those times?

I find a quick nap before going out really helps you keep your energy up the rest of the night...

 

[Genghis Juan]

Chrispy,

On the first and third dates with her, I really wasn't 100% because on the first date, I was kind of taken aback by her age (when I first met her, she looked younger), so that sort of messed me up a tad. On the third date, I was tired from working, I was up at about 330am that Saturday, I only managed an hour or two for the nap. I should have postponed the date a few hours so I could get in a few more hours of sleep. In retrospect, I kind of shot myself in the foot there. She thought I was definetly reserved, she mentioned it a couple of times on our last date, which is true, but on that date I was alot quiter and passive than my usual self.

My interest level in her started to creep up as I dated her, but I wouldn't say that I was super interested.

That is true, she may be keeping a line open as an option. I am not worried about it because I may have another prospect in vision.

What about you? What do you have going on? You can let me know in PM if you want.

 

[biker_gixxer]

As we walked by a group of young girls she said bitterly "Maybe you should be hanging out with them".

My response: 'what makes you think I'm not?' With a smirk on my face.



I know this ridiculous to say but, is it too much to ask for a girl (especially at 34yo) whom you're seeing for 3 weeks to at least drop you a line (by email even) just to let you know if she is no longer interested?

too much for girls of any age. You would seem 'needy' or 'soft' doing this.