If you have read any of my posts you would notice one underlying concept: self-improvement is key. It has been my focus and aim, to improve one's self has been the answer. You can't make someone love you, you can only become someone worthy of receiving it. I have been focusing on self improvement as if it where the answer to everything, but only if improvement is done in the right direction.
But how do you measure improvement?
Is it judged by how much your car costs? How high your grades are? How many friends you have? Once i believed these where the measures of improvement and improvement was the only thing that could lead us to TRUE happiness. My oppinion has changed.
We are being people we don't want to be. Our interests and hobbies that make us truely happy might not be cool, they might not be other peoples hobbies so we choose not to have them. As high schoolers we think we should just have cool cars, plenty of girls, & like football. We do these things even if they arent what we REALLY want to do. We get these things and we call it improvement, but if you don't really want these things then your not improving, your just wasting your time.
Social conditioning does so much more then make us shy and wreck our self image, it gives us fake hobbies and tenets. We do things we dont believe in, we strive for things we dont want.
I saved up $10,000 for a car. It was a nice car but did i really want it? No, i dont like cars. All the guys at school do so i think for some reason i should to, if i have the money i should get a cool car. So instead i spent $3000 on a car that will help me get from A to B and i kept the rest of my money to go towards a deposit for my first property (property investment Is a hobby of mine).
It's actually hard to look within and find out what it is that you want. What you believe in and what you want is your uniqueness, this is what seperates you from every other guy out there. So why would you want to share the same aspirations and beliefs as everyone else? Insecurity.
Your scared of being alone. You don't want to do your own thing because its not cool.
Right now your sitting there and you probably think your beyond this, you think your not like everyone else. but please, look within. I am willing to bet that ALOT of you still do things like this. Your whole life you have been conditioned to believe and aspire for certain things, question these things! Ask yourself what it is you REALLY want to do and what it is you believe in.
I'm NOT saying dont go after girls. Sex is a natural urgte and you SHOULD let it out. Women should be one of our hobbies, but we do it the wrong way. We try and make them fall in love with us and then we break their hearts because its cool. We call the fat ones names because its cool. We crack jokes at the nerds in front of them to impress them. What we should be doing is screening them to see if we like them. If we dont then we talk to them and be their friends. If we do like them then we flirt with them, we isolate them at parties or on dates.
The idea is excel in the three main areas of your life, healh (attractiveness), wealth (independance), & social skills (relationships). But we have to excel in the directions WE want to go.
Health & Attrictiveness
Don't become a big jock if you dont want to be one. At the same time dont become a toned abercrombie model if you want to be one. Don't do what the girls like, go after what you want. Do it for yourself. Same with clothes, wear what you want to wear. Not what the girls seem to be going for at the moment.
Wealth & Independance
Do good at school. Do the classes YOU want to do, not the ones your friends are in. Aim for a job you want to do, not what it would be cool to do so. Get the car you want to get. Do what you want.
Relationships
Learn how to vibe. When people step in to your world figure out wether you like them or not by your own tenets, dont judge them by their reputation. Some of the friendliest and funniest guys i have met are nerds and unpopular. Never touched a girl in their life. A few of them are also my better friends.
In other words - just erase that social screen from your eyes.
Hobbies & passions
This is the most important one, you should be doing things that actually interest you. Not whats cool. I enjoy writing, thats why i am here alot. I enjoy computer games. I enjoy going to the gym. there are so many things out there that i actually enjoy doing.
Conclusion
The second i took that social screen from my eyes life became so clear.
My aspirations were easy to see, and because they where easy to see i became so much more motivated. Why? Because i actually DO have these aspirations, not because its cool to have them.
I started to become so much better socially. I realised the hot girls are just lucky for their genetics and i dont even like half of them. I just figured out if i liked people and talked to the ones i did like. I worked hard to keep the relationships i wanted in tact because they are important to me.
Life is so much clearer now.. I know what it is i want, and more importantly i know what is i believe.
Dont take life so seriously. Relax. Do the things you want and stop trying to be cool. This is the key to happiness.
But how do you measure improvement?
Is it judged by how much your car costs? How high your grades are? How many friends you have? Once i believed these where the measures of improvement and improvement was the only thing that could lead us to TRUE happiness. My oppinion has changed.
We are being people we don't want to be. Our interests and hobbies that make us truely happy might not be cool, they might not be other peoples hobbies so we choose not to have them. As high schoolers we think we should just have cool cars, plenty of girls, & like football. We do these things even if they arent what we REALLY want to do. We get these things and we call it improvement, but if you don't really want these things then your not improving, your just wasting your time.
Social conditioning does so much more then make us shy and wreck our self image, it gives us fake hobbies and tenets. We do things we dont believe in, we strive for things we dont want.
I saved up $10,000 for a car. It was a nice car but did i really want it? No, i dont like cars. All the guys at school do so i think for some reason i should to, if i have the money i should get a cool car. So instead i spent $3000 on a car that will help me get from A to B and i kept the rest of my money to go towards a deposit for my first property (property investment Is a hobby of mine).
It's actually hard to look within and find out what it is that you want. What you believe in and what you want is your uniqueness, this is what seperates you from every other guy out there. So why would you want to share the same aspirations and beliefs as everyone else? Insecurity.
Your scared of being alone. You don't want to do your own thing because its not cool.
Right now your sitting there and you probably think your beyond this, you think your not like everyone else. but please, look within. I am willing to bet that ALOT of you still do things like this. Your whole life you have been conditioned to believe and aspire for certain things, question these things! Ask yourself what it is you REALLY want to do and what it is you believe in.
I'm NOT saying dont go after girls. Sex is a natural urgte and you SHOULD let it out. Women should be one of our hobbies, but we do it the wrong way. We try and make them fall in love with us and then we break their hearts because its cool. We call the fat ones names because its cool. We crack jokes at the nerds in front of them to impress them. What we should be doing is screening them to see if we like them. If we dont then we talk to them and be their friends. If we do like them then we flirt with them, we isolate them at parties or on dates.
The idea is excel in the three main areas of your life, healh (attractiveness), wealth (independance), & social skills (relationships). But we have to excel in the directions WE want to go.
Health & Attrictiveness
Don't become a big jock if you dont want to be one. At the same time dont become a toned abercrombie model if you want to be one. Don't do what the girls like, go after what you want. Do it for yourself. Same with clothes, wear what you want to wear. Not what the girls seem to be going for at the moment.
Wealth & Independance
Do good at school. Do the classes YOU want to do, not the ones your friends are in. Aim for a job you want to do, not what it would be cool to do so. Get the car you want to get. Do what you want.
Relationships
Learn how to vibe. When people step in to your world figure out wether you like them or not by your own tenets, dont judge them by their reputation. Some of the friendliest and funniest guys i have met are nerds and unpopular. Never touched a girl in their life. A few of them are also my better friends.
In other words - just erase that social screen from your eyes.
Hobbies & passions
This is the most important one, you should be doing things that actually interest you. Not whats cool. I enjoy writing, thats why i am here alot. I enjoy computer games. I enjoy going to the gym. there are so many things out there that i actually enjoy doing.
Conclusion
The second i took that social screen from my eyes life became so clear.
My aspirations were easy to see, and because they where easy to see i became so much more motivated. Why? Because i actually DO have these aspirations, not because its cool to have them.
I started to become so much better socially. I realised the hot girls are just lucky for their genetics and i dont even like half of them. I just figured out if i liked people and talked to the ones i did like. I worked hard to keep the relationships i wanted in tact because they are important to me.
Life is so much clearer now.. I know what it is i want, and more importantly i know what is i believe.
Dont take life so seriously. Relax. Do the things you want and stop trying to be cool. This is the key to happiness.
