Cloud-uk
Master Don Juan
Christ, where to start...
At christmas I got ill. Over the following months I've seen all the weight I gained from weight training go down the ****ter, literally. I've got the symptoms of amusing bowel movements and the kind of flatulence that kills children and the elderly. Oh and stomach pains. Oh and a total lack of energy.
If you haven't already noticed, I also got a sever case of whiney-*****-ness.
But hey, sometimes life just deals you up a really really cack hand- right?
Actually, wrong.
My worst fears have been realised. Somehow, some time, the earth has come alive. The millions of people, the mind-denting number of beings, plant life, everything in it's collectiveness, comes together not to make the planet earth, but the living world.
And it seems that the world we are part of has developed a sence of humor...
I ****ing love a bit of logic in my life. It helps keep everything from spinning out into some macabre hallucination. So, here is my train of thought:
I'm I'll, I need to do something about it, I can't do something about it, I'm losing all the work I put into my weight training, damn! Everything was just getting good! Damn, how the hell am I supposed to get ass when my farts set off fire alarms? Argh, why can't I stop ****ting? This is hopeless. Maybe I should take some time off, christ all my skills are going to go down the pan, argh I'm so sleepyyyyzzzzzzz Woh! Argh need to **** again, owwww my ****ing stomach! How the hell am I supposed to hold a bithday party like this? Why now? why the **** now?! WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO LEARN FROM THIS?!
Ha ha ha lets make Cloud **** himself for a bit...Yeah, I bet that's what he was thinking....son-of-a-*****....
Funny thing is...everything I've done recently seems to have been paved with gold. I'm not quite sure why...but it has.
Read that bit above again, but do it in a funny voice. Really act out the parts about my bodily processes. Sexy huh?
Yet while in my festering state somehow I've thrown a kick ass party, enjoyed life a hell of a lot more, found my "thing", the thing I'm better than everyone else at, and picked up a girlfriend along the way...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but that shouldn't have happened. It's the kind of bizzare series of events that leaves you standing there with an expression on your face that can only be describes as 'Whhaaaathaaafuuuck? '.
And I guess, as I sit here infront of my iridescent monitor trying to convert my beffudled confusion about the said series of events into words people I will never meet will understand, I feel like a really good practical joke has been played on me.
Like the whole world, in all its eternal beauty and grace is pointing at me and saying "ha ha you are so stupid!"...but in a nice way.
It's so easy to blow something, like your health, way out of proportion, like it's the only thing that matters. What something goes down the ****ter, perhaps it just means you should concentrate on something else.
Anyway, just a little insight into how I'm dealing with something that was really giveing me a head job a few months ago. Now, I'm going to go and find a tree, had a drink, and work out a way to get the world back
.
At christmas I got ill. Over the following months I've seen all the weight I gained from weight training go down the ****ter, literally. I've got the symptoms of amusing bowel movements and the kind of flatulence that kills children and the elderly. Oh and stomach pains. Oh and a total lack of energy.
If you haven't already noticed, I also got a sever case of whiney-*****-ness.
But hey, sometimes life just deals you up a really really cack hand- right?
Actually, wrong.
My worst fears have been realised. Somehow, some time, the earth has come alive. The millions of people, the mind-denting number of beings, plant life, everything in it's collectiveness, comes together not to make the planet earth, but the living world.
And it seems that the world we are part of has developed a sence of humor...
I ****ing love a bit of logic in my life. It helps keep everything from spinning out into some macabre hallucination. So, here is my train of thought:
I'm I'll, I need to do something about it, I can't do something about it, I'm losing all the work I put into my weight training, damn! Everything was just getting good! Damn, how the hell am I supposed to get ass when my farts set off fire alarms? Argh, why can't I stop ****ting? This is hopeless. Maybe I should take some time off, christ all my skills are going to go down the pan, argh I'm so sleepyyyyzzzzzzz Woh! Argh need to **** again, owwww my ****ing stomach! How the hell am I supposed to hold a bithday party like this? Why now? why the **** now?! WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO LEARN FROM THIS?!
Ha ha ha lets make Cloud **** himself for a bit...Yeah, I bet that's what he was thinking....son-of-a-*****....
Funny thing is...everything I've done recently seems to have been paved with gold. I'm not quite sure why...but it has.
Read that bit above again, but do it in a funny voice. Really act out the parts about my bodily processes. Sexy huh?
Yet while in my festering state somehow I've thrown a kick ass party, enjoyed life a hell of a lot more, found my "thing", the thing I'm better than everyone else at, and picked up a girlfriend along the way...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but that shouldn't have happened. It's the kind of bizzare series of events that leaves you standing there with an expression on your face that can only be describes as 'Whhaaaathaaafuuuck? '.
And I guess, as I sit here infront of my iridescent monitor trying to convert my beffudled confusion about the said series of events into words people I will never meet will understand, I feel like a really good practical joke has been played on me.
Like the whole world, in all its eternal beauty and grace is pointing at me and saying "ha ha you are so stupid!"...but in a nice way.
It's so easy to blow something, like your health, way out of proportion, like it's the only thing that matters. What something goes down the ****ter, perhaps it just means you should concentrate on something else.
Anyway, just a little insight into how I'm dealing with something that was really giveing me a head job a few months ago. Now, I'm going to go and find a tree, had a drink, and work out a way to get the world back
.