floydb25 said:
That depends largely on your definition of "chase". To me, it means trying to win someone over. That's basically all it is. You are making them the prize, doing the work, seeking their approval, and trying to get them to like you. This is why you chase after them - to win them over. You are interested in them. You want them. You want them to want you. And thus, you chase. The results aren't usually favorable.
Chase, to me, doesn't mean not doing anything, and making everyone else do all the work. You just don't fight for them, or try to win them over. You don't tolerate BS, accept rejections, etc, and still fight harder for them. You can still set up dates, come in contact with them, and all that stuff. You just don't chase after them. You don't make them the prize, or show more interest than they do to you. You don't fight for them. You let them come to you, but don't make them do everything, and even reciprocate by doing things back. There's a big difference between being passive and not chasing.
Exactly what I was trying to say.
The whole "winning them over" thing 99 times out of 100 ends in disaster and puts women on a pedestal.
The smart women will give you "just enough attention" to make you think you stand a chance and so they get the attention they want, but not so much where they're actually interested.
I get the impression that some guys on here, though, that isn't even the case. The woman is showing no interest whatsoever and he's chasing and looking for clues that she's interested.
To me, a woman's interest level is everything. It doesn't have to be sky high, but for me it has to be high enough where she's easy to reach, on the dates she is polite, is showing physical affection etc., for dates she doesn't flake and if she does, it's days in advance, not an hour before the date and offers to reschedule, not hot and cold. Just basic common courtesy.
And if a woman isn't showing you that, chances are she has low or no interest in you.
I totally understand the whole "wanting to prove her wrong" thing, I fell victim to it in my teens/early 20s, but it just doesn't happen. Women are either interested in you or they aren't.
A good 60-70 percent of the problems on here would go away if the guy just got a grip of himself (mentally) and moved on.
Like Rollo says "If a woman wants to sleep with you, she won't let anything get in the way." Same goes for dating. The guy usually has to do the initiating, but if the woman is interested, she will make it really, really easy for you and if she isn't, she'll come up with convenient excuses that to a smarter person would be easy to dicipher as "not interested, move on."