The "What are we doing" question ...

[Tazman]

If sexuality does NOT eventually lead to emotional attachment, and it is NOT The Natural Order of Things, then why is it that most men (and WOMEN) have to fight AGAINST developing ONEitis, rather than fight FOR it? Hmmmmm???

Although I agree with some of what's being said, I have to disagree with this.

Repeated exposure and/or a sexual relationship does not in itself lead to ONEitis. You have to have a vested interest to begin with before any attachment would occur, regardless of length of time you've been with any particular person.

I believe an imbalance of leverage and perceived options in relation to the person you're with causes ONEitis.

 

[Alexander the Great]

Good one VU. Something to think on. Maybe for a thread of it's own?

It seems the point of Inevitability has been reached. Either "string" her along, making use of her attachement to you, while not committing yourself until she realizes she doesn't get what she wants and dumps you (perhaps, though it seems unlikely she will cure from her feelings anytime soon and go back to the "just-fun" mode, per the usual), or end things.

I would be inclined to end things, as I don't want to fool people into believing something that isn't there, or stringing them along and keeping the commitment pressure at bay, exploiting their weakness until they realize it's not going anywhere. That, or DonS's way, simply isn't me (though never say never).

And as for the pressure, aye, it does equate to manipulation.

What are you going to do, Rhoto? Have you decided already?

 

[horaholic]

DonS is (very understandibly) really bitter at the moment. Cant blame him.

 

[wait_out]

Well, sure we can. You don't punish individuals for the collective sins of their ethnic group, religion or gender and we don't look the other way either.

Supposedly "AFC" values like empathy and compassion make us better people. They help you be a more effective leader, understand others and even give you inner resources to survive disaster (check out Deep Survival for more). They can be manipulated against you if you're naive, but they're still worth having.

Girls cheating and even prostituting themselves for drugs makes them undateable but is hardly the worst form of evil in the world. There's better targets for your hate DonS. This is the worst woman in the world:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/iraq/article5661466.ece

Not some dumb kid showing up at your house with confused ideas after blowing a drug dealer. To be honest, the post you wrote above is disgusting. Girls aren't deterministically evil and your attitude is going to psychologically damage them. Why do you think the girls in the Times article find death preferable to living in shame? Grow up man.

Hold yourself to high standards and ask women to follow you. When they don't, leave them behind. People tend to perform up or down to the expectations you place on them.

Don, to your credit I think you reacted in a very mature way to what actually happened, and blowing off steam on the web is a harmless way to do so, but this attitude will have negative consequences on you in the end if you can't shake it. Be careful man.

 

[Rhoto]

Wow, thanks a lot for the consul guys. Much love.

So my plan of action - inaction. Haven't talked to her since the club. No text, no response, no emotion.

I met a cute black girl on Monday and we had some great chemistry. So - the game is a foot!

Thanks again gents, you offered some great insight.