The way "**** tests" are talked about is just.. strange.

[Veréngárda]

So.. hot take incoming.

Maybe the reason you call them "**** tests" is because you can't handle cheekiness? Note, I said cheekiness. I did not say genuine crappy behavior.

If a woman is giving you crappy behavior, just walk the other way. If she's one of those psychotics who intentionally tests you with crappy behavior.. well then you just sprint the other way Shaggy and Scooby style.

But if we're talking about true "**** tests," yeah that's just cheekiness. Have you never had a male friend try to get under your skin and you just found it endearing? Why does it get a label when a woman does it? You don't call it "**** testing" when another guy does it, right?

More and more I'm beginning to think that use of the term "**** tests" reflects more on the person using it than anything else.

I like to think I take myself fairly seriously. Some might say too seriously. Even I can laugh at people who try to be petty and jab at me.

I can't imagine the sort of complex one would need to have in order to use this terminology.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

So.. hot take incoming.

Maybe the reason you call them "**** tests" is because you can't handle cheekiness? Note, I said cheekiness. I did not say genuine crappy behavior.

If a woman is giving you crappy behavior, just walk the other way. If she's one of those psychotics who intentionally tests you with crappy behavior.. well then you just sprint the other way Shaggy and Scooby style.

But if we're talking about true "**** tests," yeah that's just cheekiness. Have you never had a male friend try to get under your skin and you just found it endearing? Why does it get a label when a woman does it? You don't call it "**** testing" when another guy does it, right?

More and more I'm beginning to think that use of the term "**** tests" reflects more on the person using it than anything else.

I like to think I take myself fairly seriously. Some might say too seriously. Even I can laugh at people who try to be petty and jab at me.

I can't imagine the sort of complex one would need to have in order to use this terminology.

whose alt are you? Good take tho.

 

[HaleyBaron]

So.. hot take incoming.

Maybe the reason you call them "**** tests" is because you can't handle cheekiness? Note, I said cheekiness. I did not say genuine crappy behavior.

If a woman is giving you crappy behavior, just walk the other way. If she's one of those psychotics who intentionally tests you with crappy behavior.. well then you just sprint the other way Shaggy and Scooby style.

But if we're talking about true "**** tests," yeah that's just cheekiness. Have you never had a male friend try to get under your skin and you just found it endearing? Why does it get a label when a woman does it? You don't call it "**** testing" when another guy does it, right?

More and more I'm beginning to think that use of the term "**** tests" reflects more on the person using it than anything else.

I like to think I take myself fairly seriously. Some might say too seriously. Even I can laugh at people who try to be petty and jab at me.

I can't imagine the sort of complex one would need to have in order to use this terminology.

As unicorn said above, I'm skeptical cause you're a new account.

Anyway, you have the game wrong, son. Cheekiness is not tolerated from a girl I'm looking to have sex with. She is not my friend. She is not my bro. She is not intelligent enough or wise enough to understand cheekiness. What you think is cheekiness is a woman's usual weapons she uses against other women she is trying to demean passively aggressively. So no you are wrong. Very wrong.

I laugh at bros cause we do it for fun. I laugh at girls for being little kids trying to play that game with me.

Never allow sh*ttests.

 

[Barrister]

Another "new" poster who takes a swipe at some terminology most of SS uses. Seems to be a trend lately.

That said - I partly agree that many guys see "sh1t tests" when there are none. Anytime a chick tells you something you don't like does not automatically mean she is sh1t testing you. On the other hand, it is easy to say it is harmless ribbing when in fact there might be an undertone of disrespect in there that needs to be addressed. Most guys don't care when other guys do it because they aren't romantically interested in them. They just don't care and move on. When a woman who they want to bang says the same thing it comes off completely differently. So I don't think this is surprising.

 

[devilkingx2]

But if we're talking about true "**** tests," yeah that's just cheekiness. Have you never had a male friend try to get under your skin and you just found it endearing? Why does it get a label when a woman does it? You don't call it "**** testing" when another guy does it, right?

Alpha males do get challenged by other males for dominance though. So there is male **** testing.

So.. hot take incoming.

Maybe the reason you call them "**** tests" is because you can't handle cheekiness? Note, I said cheekiness. I did not say genuine crappy behavior.

If a woman is giving you crappy behavior, just walk the other way. If she's one of those psychotics who intentionally tests you with crappy behavior.. well then you just sprint the other way Shaggy and Scooby style.

[...]

More and more I'm beginning to think that use of the term "**** tests" reflects more on the person using it than anything else.

I like to think I take myself fairly seriously. Some might say too seriously. Even I can laugh at people who try to be petty and jab at me.

[...]

I would say that a **** test is something that can be passed or failed. So there's a right and a wrong response.

So let's say you're at a night club or a party with a girl you're dating and she is dancing and flirting with other guys.

A **** test would be, if you ignore her and go dance with other girls, then immediately she comes running and gives you all her attention for the rest of the night.

If she continues to do whatever she wants or if she gets mad at you for doing the same thing she just did, then it's not a **** test it's her low value personality.

And of course if she does stuff like that all the time or beyond the early stages, eject from her because shes crazy lol.

 

[HaleyBaron]

If she continues to do whatever she wants or if she gets mad at you for doing the same thing she just did, then it's not a **** test it's her low value personality.

Follow up: had a girl who wanted me to be exclusive yet she wanted to **** many guys. Her self esteem was hit when I was getting more girls than she was getting guys. She gets angry at me for it. That's an example of a sh*ttest. I ended up dropping her cause it ain't worth my time.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Women will test your strength and mettle as a man. Call it what you want.

With men and women, ALL the attraction criteria we're pre-programmed with at the DNA level is designed to help us make the best choice in a mate to propagate the species. No amount of social media, OLD, apps, etc., will ever change this.

Women don't want, desire, nor are they attracted to - weak men. They may settle for one, but deep down they know he's not a strong mate for her offspring. So, women will purposely do things to "test" you to see just how much of a man you are as they want a strong male who will be able to fend for themselves to, as menteiond above, propagate the species. Got it? Ask: Do you stand up for yourself or are you a pushover? Are you motivated, a leader, and goal oriented? Are you assertive and go after what you want? Do you take are of yourself and have a hard body and good physique? Women look for these traits and behaviors and a ton of other things.

Case in point: A long time ago I was on a hike with a girl I had been dating for a few weeks. During the hike, I was jokingly giving her s*it about something. She spun around and punched me hard in the shoulder. I calmly but firmly pointed my finger in her face and said "Don't you ever f*ucking do that again." Then stared at her for a few seconds. She said (verbatim), "Sorry, I was just seeing what I could get away with." We dated for about 2 years. She never hit me again, btw.

Ciao.
~Dash

 

[Veréngárda]

As unicorn said above, I'm skeptical cause you're a new account.

Anyway, you have the game wrong, son. Cheekiness is not tolerated from a girl I'm looking to have sex with. She is not my friend. She is not my bro. She is not intelligent enough or wise enough to understand cheekiness. What you think is cheekiness is a woman's usual weapons she uses against other women she is trying to demean passively aggressively. So no you are wrong. Very wrong.

I laugh at bros cause we do it for fun. I laugh at girls for being little kids trying to play that game with me.

Never allow sh*ttests.

Weird. Same reaction but you think of it differently. See I laugh at everyone for being little kids and "playing that game." Guys included. All the same to me.

Alpha males do get challenged by other males for dominance though. So there is male **** testing.



I would say that a **** test is something that can be passed or failed. So there's a right and a wrong response.

So let's say you're at a night club or a party with a girl you're dating and she is dancing and flirting with other guys.

A **** test would be, if you ignore her and go dance with other girls, then immediately she comes running and gives you all her attention for the rest of the night.

If she continues to do whatever she wants or if she gets mad at you for doing the same thing she just did, then it's not a **** test it's her low value personality.

And of course if she does stuff like that all the time or beyond the early stages, eject from her because shes crazy lol.

I think it should be a general rule to only give someone the same amount of "energy" they give you. This doesn't seem like a strategy to me, just what anyone with any self-respect would do.

you joined yesterday

Yo bruh faktz hUeHuEhUeH

 

[Veréngárda]

An alt, yes.

You're an alt. There.

 

[Bigpapa]

So.. hot take incoming.

Maybe the reason you call them "**** tests" is because you can't handle cheekiness? Note, I said cheekiness. I did not say genuine crappy behavior.

If a woman is giving you crappy behavior, just walk the other way. If she's one of those psychotics who intentionally tests you with crappy behavior.. well then you just sprint the other way Shaggy and Scooby style.

But if we're talking about true "**** tests," yeah that's just cheekiness. Have you never had a male friend try to get under your skin and you just found it endearing? Why does it get a label when a woman does it? You don't call it "**** testing" when another guy does it, right?

More and more I'm beginning to think that use of the term "**** tests" reflects more on the person using it than anything else.

I like to think I take myself fairly seriously. Some might say too seriously. Even I can laugh at people who try to be petty and jab at me.

I can't imagine the sort of complex one would need to have in order to use this terminology.

you overthink

it is irrelevant how something it is called , as long as it makes sense and you understand how to respond to such a thing .

20 years ago if you would say “iPhone” people would have been “ WTF is wrong with this guy . It should not be called iPhone , it should be called X “ . 20 years in the future , everyone knows what it is an iPhone and everyone it is fine an iPhone to be called an iPhone

 

[BadBoy89]

If a woman is giving you crappy behavior, just walk the other way. If she's one of those psychotics who intentionally tests you with crappy behavior.. well then you just sprint the other way Shaggy and Scooby style.

What about Scrappy Doo style?

But if we're talking about true "**** tests," yeah that's just cheekiness. Have you never had a male friend try to get under your skin and you just found it endearing?

No

Why does it get a label when a woman does it? You don't call it "**** testing" when another guy does it, right?

Because men are trying to get sex from the women.

If a women tests a man, she doesn’t respect him.

I like to think I take myself fairly seriously. Some might say too seriously. Even I can laugh at people who try to be petty and jab at me.

I can't imagine the sort of complex one would need to have in order to use this terminology.

Really?

If a older non-virgin woman, who has slept with a lot of men and now wants to settle down with a beta male to get access to his resources, takes any jab at me. I will destroy her enough to make her cry.

 

[Veréngárda]

I am exactly the kind of insecure neckbeard "sigma grinder" POS you're referring to.

Why yes, yes you are.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Another "new" poster who takes a swipe at some terminology most of SS uses. Seems to be a trend lately.

That said - I partly agree that many guys see "sh1t tests" when there are none. Anytime a chick tells you something you don't like does not automatically mean she is sh1t testing you. On the other hand, it is easy to say it is harmless ribbing when in fact there might be an undertone of disrespect in there that needs to be addressed. Most guys don't care when other guys do it because they aren't romantically interested in them. They just don't care and move on. When a woman who they want to bang says the same thing it comes off completely differently. So I don't think this is surprising.

It's old pua terminology. Today, most men mistake noncompliance with a **** test. Playful banter or sass vs noncompliance.

 

[Dash Riprock]

I wasn't planning on posting anymore, but this^ really struck out to me. Specifically, her response. I mean I believe you, but it just sounds odd to me, that she would say something like that.

My take on that interaction (as a woman) was you were jokingly giving her shyt, and she playfully (and jokingly) hit you on the shoulder, not to "see what she could get away with," but to tease you for giving her shyt, it was playful, meant to be fun. You were joking and she was joking.

I've done this before with boyfriends, including my current, it's playful banter, including HIM giving me shyt. Which you admitted yourself was meant to be a joke. Teasing her, which is fun!

If I can't think up an equally jokey response back, I might playfully and jokingly hit him, NOT to hurt him (as if I could anyway, he's a strong masculine man after all) but to "pretend" being mad, we BOTH know it's NOT meant to be taken seriously, and often times it leads to some amazingly hot sex so it's a win-win.

What you describe sounds like you believe it was okay for YOU to give her shyt in a joking way, but not okay for her to playfully hit you in a jokey way. NOT to hurt you, come on, that's abuse plain and simple. And you should drop any woman who behaves as such.

But rather as a way to increase sexual tension in a playful jokey way leading to amazing hot sex in many cases.

Just my take FWIW.

I'm not going to split hairs on this, and yes I'm a man and can take a punch, but she grit her teeth and hauled off and pretty much punched me as hard as she could. Maybe ok, with you. But not in my book. It crossed the "playful" line.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I do think we need to retire the word **** test along with all other autistic PUA terms.

Let's be clear, a **** test is a real thing, and you shouldn't be insulted...it's in womens nature to test their man constantly. Do you ever see women **** test bums or loser guys? No, they only test guys they like. So it's not inherently insulting.

It depends on what you mean by **** test as others in this thread have alluded to. Playful banter/teasing (for instance making silly stuff up about themselves to see if you're gullible) is one thing, but a "**** test" in the form of crappy behavior? That's not a **** test and I would agree that pulling back and punishing them is the only solution.

 

[devilkingx2]

I'm not going to split hairs on this, and yes I'm a man and can take a punch, but she grit her teeth and hauled off and pretty much punched me as hard as she could. Maybe ok, with you. But not in my book. It crossed the "playful" line.

With that full context that girl sounds like a psycho.

She was just seeing if she could get away with punching you as hard as she could because you made a joke???

You must've dated Amber Heard.

 

[Kotaix]

The thing is, the sh!t test is testing many things at the same time
First, it's a test of your emotional intelligence to judge if something is trivial. If you get angry at a woman for something trivial instead of laughing it off, you fail.
Second, it's a test of your willingness to defend yourself when faced with non-trivial problems. If you DON'T stand up for yourself, you're def not going to stand up for her, and you fail.
Third, it's a test of your consistency. If you fail to be consistent over time, then your motivation towards her is suspect.

These aren't unreasonable tests and men should do them in return to women. You can only be true to yourself and stand up for your principles, the rest will take care of itself.

She is not intelligent enough or wise enough to understand cheekiness.

No. you're over-generalizing. Women are demonstrably better than men at reading social situations and being manipulative. But at the same time your overall stance is correct, not tolerating what is intentionally bad behavior is a great way to winnow away low-interest women.

If a woman is giving you crappy behavior, just walk the other way. If she's one of those psychotics who intentionally tests you with crappy behavior.. well then you just sprint the other way Shaggy and Scooby style.

I agree wholeheartedly with this. Women who make it a point to p!ss you off usually come from a trashy upbringing and you can expect that behavior to just get worse the longer you know her.

 

[Dash Riprock]

With that full context that girl sounds like a psycho.

She was just seeing if she could get away with punching you as hard as she could because you made a joke???

You must've dated Amber Heard.

One of those relationships were things were good for a year then went downhill fast. Once I established the boundaries, she knew what the dynamic was.

Another good story is she moved in with me after about a year of dating. We had two Dobermans, one hers, one mine. One day she calls me and says she just bought another Doberman puppy and is coming home with it. I told her no way and to not to bring the dog in the house and to turn around and take it back immediately. A fight on the phone ensued and I told her she had severely damaged the relationship with such a bonehead move. She turns around and drives 30 miles and takes the puppy back to the breeder. Breeder won't give money back. Duh. I had a few mutual friends later say good for you for putting your foot down on the puppy thing. I'm thinking no big deal, it was a stupid move on her end. As I got older, I realized a lot of other guys probably just would have caved and let her bring the puppy home.

She was a lot of fun and had an engaging personality but I knew early on this was not a girl to invest in long term. I would have told my younger self to bail after about a year and not let her move in. Live and learn.