The Ultimate Test: Her Rejecting You

[Infern0]

My most recent rejection was the BPD variety (which I confess meant her attraction level to me was not sufficient).

She met me for dinner Friday, came back to my hotel, I pulled her hair, she got 99% naked and after my best 30 minutes with her in 3 months of dating, with her panties half off she randomly freaked out over some minor word (her own first name when she goes by her middle name) and said "You want to see my Bipolar side?" in a voice from The Exorcist. She tried to then say she never cared about me, and asked "what makes you think I ever liked you?" But I just opened the door and said "Are you ready to go?".

There is an article called Hurt people hurt people. Remember that when people say mean things, it means they were hurt in the past and never healed. The only way to heal is to love the people you hate, otherwise you spread the hate. Most guys would have told her off but you should only say words that increase their interest level, or nothing at all. For these types, feel bad for them, have compassion, but get the hell away, at least until they work to get you back. And build a thick skin to historic rejections.

Interested to see her response to that, i've found in the past when you roll off BPD attacks like that they generally come crawling back apologising pretty rapidly..

 

[Infern0]

Often her rejecting you is your failure to read the signs of dissipating interest correctly. DJism is the ability recognize these signs early on and preemptively eject.

• Has she gotten disrespectful?
• Has she distanced herself?
• Is her behavior incongruent with her words?
• Has the tempo all-of-a-sudden slowed?
• Has she gotten overly emotional over a matter which is frivolous?
• Have the "terms of endearment" ceased?
• Are you "not as funny" anymore?
• Has her attitude gotten overly serious or less playful?

Inter alia ...

Heed the signs, and eject/take-a-break accordingly. You will not lose a girl by preemptively ejecting, but you will lose a girl by your callow disregard of her falling IL and her ejecting first.

It is true, it's usually not seeing the signs and taking corrective action, ordinarily what happens is when the above things start happening the guy accelerates rather than hitting the brakes and backing up, then it gets to the stage where she rejects.

By backing up worse case scenario is she just fades away but it's better than running after her like forrest gump shouting "jenny" until she gives you LJBF.

 

[bigneil]

Key quote from that article:

"VIII. Hurt people often erupt with inappropriate emotion because particular words, actions, or circumstances “touch” and “trigger” past woundedness. I have been in situations with people in which there was a gross overreaction to a word I spoke..."

What I did was I called my previous girl (age 22) who I dated the previous 6 month period (also to the day), and told her how much this crazy girl made me appreciate her, and now she's getting on a plane to see me.

This happens a lot, where you can spin an entertaining rejection story to another girl and turn it into a seduction. Comedy = Tragedy + Time, and rejection is the key to sexual prosperity (Louis and Copeland).

 

[logicallefty]

Agree and amplify:

"I am with ya it doesn't seem like we are a good fit. Take care"

 

[mikey2012]

Say..OK..If she contacts you, reply but be brief and dispassionate. Never initiate contact again.

 

[bigneil]

Beware the Dump Echo, which goes like this:

Her: Are you still there?
You: Yes.
Her: Do you still want to have sex?
You: ...Yes.
Her: Just checking!

 

[BrainDamage92]

Put a big fake smile on your face.

Proceed to flirt with hot chicks in her presence if possible works like a charm.


The thing is what they do is they flirt and then they shoot you down when you make a move and pretend to be innocent. Which will always make you angry, conceal the anger bruhs, conceal the anger.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

Put a big fake smile on your face.

Proceed to flirt with hot chicks in her presence if possible works like a charm.


The thing is what they do is they flirt and then they shoot you down when you make a move and pretend to be innocent. Which will always make you angry, conceal the anger bruhs, conceal the anger.

My ex and her friends went to the club to do exactly this. They got an ego boost from "shooting guys down". That was their enjoyment, dressing up 40% naked and shooting guys down.

 

[bigneil]

Here was an interesting quote on BPD (my last rejection in a nutshell):

"A similar reflex drives the Borderline to pick fights with you, especially after an intensely loving, close/harmonious episode. When their attachment fears flare up, abandonment terror is right around the corner--so they have to destroy any closeness with you, before you have a remote opportunity to do it to them! This has nothing whatsoever to do with You. They'll act-out their anxiety surrounding attachment, with all their suitors/partners."

 

[bigneil]

I just opened the door and asked if she was ready to go...

Interested to see her response to that, i've found in the past when you roll off BPD attacks like that they generally come crawling back apologising pretty rapidly..

Now that I think about it, less than 24 hours later the bouncer from her restaurant texted me at 10pm on a Sat. This was the first time he ever wrote to me in 7 months of being my friend. That seemed like a funny coincidence. Because he was the one who originally set me up with her (always tip the bouncers) I told him what happened, but I just said I saw her, that she freaked out at the last minute and I felt bad for her. I didn't say anything else. He didn't act surprised, suggesting he knew (and she was working at the time).

Sadly, I was moving the next day. This had been the first date after she found out I was moving too, so I was literally triggering abandonment fears. I never told her I was moving per se, but on the previous date she asked me and I couldn't lie to her. We had our 2 best dates after I told her, and my attempt was to get her to visit via a plane, but it's not looking good for that.

In hindsight, I'm already over it, and proud of how I handled it because of the following:

1) I said the minimum number of words possible.
2) I got away from her as soon as possible (even though we were literally naked in bed for the first time ever when the attack occurred).
3) I didn't apologize.
4) I didn't say anything mean (only say things that bring you closer to sex).
5) I looked her right in the eye and she stared me down for a whole minute. She wanted to see me squirm but I was stoic.
6) I still walked her to her car, but walked away when she was 100 feet. away.
7) When she got lost in the garage I still guided her out.
8) By quickly ejecting within 10 minutes of her episode, our 4 hour date remained 96% positive.
9) I never wrote to her.

Remember that at any moment this might happen to you. This was my oneitis too, because of the stress of the relocation, but girls can only hurt us so many times before we build a thicker skin to rejection.

 

[guru1000]

2) I got away from her as soon as possible (even though we were literally naked in bed for the first time ever when the attack occurred).
...
This was my oneitis too, because of the stress of the relocation, but girls can only hurt us so many times before we build a thicker skin to rejection. ...

Neil, I like you, but this is stomach-twisting.

You didn't bang her. And you have oneitus?

A woman does not deserve to be rewarded with your time and attention until:

* You have banged her more times than you care to count
* She consistently shows high interest
* She consistently exhibits good behavior
* She proves to be leagues above the harem in every attribute you are looking for

Only then do you reward her with a thought.

The problem here is not her, it is YOU. You invested into a crap stock without due diligence. Investments must show VALUE before you endow. And value does not correspond with worshiping her looks. Kick the pedestal you affixed beneath her, and understand she has/had absolutely no value to you. She is a non-entity in your peripheral vision.

This (click on this link) is how you treat women who don't step up to the plate the way you want it. Great to be a Don Juan, isn't it? Have relations YOUR way--or bye-bye and have a nice day.

 

[logicallefty]

I applaud Neil for #2. Turning a woman down for sex especially in that situation takes extreme strength and willpower. And it messes with their heads BAD. And I guarantee if Neil wants to make a move later, he will have no trouble b@nging this woman at all. She will need the reassurance and ego boost cuz he just knocked her ego into the sewer pipes of he|| in her mind. In 10 years no matter what happens between now and then, she will still be thinking about the guy who turned her down when she was naked in bed. Kudos Neil.. Just imagine the control we men could get back in this world if all men were able to do what Neil did? Just think about that men.. Give it a few minutes before you respond and really think about it.......

 

[Cejay]

I applaud Neil for #2. Turning a woman down for sex especially in that situation takes extreme strength and willpower.

This. ^^^

I turned down a woman on a date almost a year ago and she's still chasing me. She's decent looking.
Her reaction was hilarious and she tried everything she could think of, begging me to let her walk up to my hotel room, grabbing my d1ck. Everything.

We talk a little now and then, mostly I ignore her, I don't let it get sexual.

Recently (almost a year later) she emailed me about it telling me how it hit her ego and that her body is mine.

CJ.

 

[GS750]

This. ^^^

I turned down a woman on a date almost a year ago and she's still chasing me. She's decent looking.
Her reaction was hilarious and she tried everything she could think of, begging me to let her walk up to my hotel room, grabbing my d1ck. Everything.

We talk a little now and then, mostly I ignore her, I don't let it get sexual.

Recently (almost a year later) she emailed me about it telling me how it hit her ego and that her body is mine.

CJ.

It does hit their ego harder the more they are into you. I turned down sex with a girl I was seeing well over a year ago. She still texts even though there's a bf in the picture and I've ignored her for months at a time.

 

[bigneil]

You didn't bang her. And you have oneitus?

A woman does not deserve to be rewarded with your time and attention until:

* You have banged her more times than you care to count
* She consistently shows high interest
* She consistently exhibits good behavior
* She proves to be leagues above the harem in every attribute you are looking for

Only then do you reward her with a thought.

This is true to a point.

However, how many cities have you lived in? I've lived in 25 cities. In cities that are mostly women, men rule. In cities that are mostly men, women rule. Most are the latter.

While I found hot women in every city, in cities where I had only one option for a hot woman, I have developed oneitis. Especially when I've had to move away right when things are getting good. It's natural to get attached to things you know you are leaving forever. Also, it's not easy to pick up hot women in a new city. If you've lived in the same city your whole life, your dating life is an illusion based on reputation. Only a new person in town knows where they truly stand with women.

Note that she was the first girl in over 3 years (a span where I had 10 women) who caused me heartache. And I dropped 20 pounds practically overnight. This always happens when I get heartache.

Are you saying a DJ should NEVER experience heartache or rejection? I disagree. I think there is a healthy amount. This girl was 24 years younger than me, and one of the hottest girls in the city. I was supposed to get rejected. But BPD women take rejections to a whole new level. At least I held my ground. The point of the thread was how to handle rejection even when you really care about them. Saying I never should have cared to begin with is missing the point.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

I don't think BigNeil should be concerned about a "little girl" rejecting him.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

OMG that is awful and stupid really, i wonder if women online act the same way........

Grown women doing things like that OMG:cuss:

Girls in the 21-30 range may do this.

 

[bigneil]

Always remember that when a girl flips out, she is showing hate (the negative of love). In other words, she is showing you how much she cares with how angry she gets. Thus, we shouldn't be concerned with hate so much, but rather, we should beware apathy (the opposite of love).

"Never be put off by a flash of anger or resentment, it is a sure sign of enslavement". - Robert Greene.

 

[dx12173]

Women are always testing us. There is no greater test to our mettle than her rejecting us. Why? Because she has rejected countless poor souls before us, and she has become familiar with the following.

What NOT to do:

1) Men crying.
2) Men begging.
3) Men calling her a "see you next Tuesday" (see Sopranos for example).
4) Men revealing her flaws "Oh yeah? Well I always hated your tattoos!"
5) Men sulking.
6) Men promising to change.
7) Men asking if they are attractive (while looking at the floor).
8) Men blowing up her phone.

(Enumerate yours here).

What to do?

1) Say "I guess that's it for us".
2) Say "It was fun when it lasted".
3) Say "I was good to you" (ideally you will mean it).
4) Say "You are attracted to me" (while looking her in the eye).
5) Say nothing and walk away.

(Enumerate yours here).

What a stupid ****ty ****ing post

 

[NSX-R]

what if your reply with a happy expression is like 'Great,now let me check the next one on my list' wink at her and walk away.