The TSA And My Package

[5string]

Last week, before the holiday, I leave my hometown on a business trip. I have to fly to California. Get to the airport and head to security. Then, they ask me to enter the machine for a full body scan. It's my job on the line so I submit, despite my belief that this is a violation of my rights and an invasion of my privacy.

I get into the machine, they scan me and ask me to step out for what they say is an "enhanced pat down".

The TSA clown says, "you got a wallet in your back pocket"? I say yes I do. But I'm thinking to myself "you know I have a wallet you dumb b*astard, you just saw it when you scanned me"!

He asks me to pull out the wallet which I do and he reaches out and takes it, proceeding to look through it. Then I'm thinking, "what could one possibly have in a wallet that could be dangerous, "a picture of Andrew Jackson on a 20.00 bill"? Last I heard, Andrew Jackson was not a threat to national security.

The he says, "you have anything in your right front pocket"? Sure do. He asks to see it. It's freekin lip balm! He takes the cap off and looks at it. WTF!!! I'm thinking, "you saw that in the scanner as well stupid".

Here is the good part. TSA chump says he wants to pat down my right leg. He begins at the ankle and starts his way up. Get's to the package, takes both hands and cops a big feel.

Now let me ask you guys this, it you are a hetro guy, would you take a job where you had to do that to another man? As for me, no. So who would? hmmmm?

After it's over, I think to myself, "how could I mess with these guys the next time without getting into trouble"? I came up with this, I'm gonna get me a Viagra, take it about 1/2 hour before I go through security and look at a playboy or something. That'll give those clowns something to scan!!!! :moon:

And what's up with scanning pilots? I know they did away with it but let's see now. Why would they sneak something on board anyway? All they have to do is lock the cabin door and drive the darn thing into the ground.

Point is, I don't like this sh!t. It's out of hand. Patting down the elderly, little kids and such. Makes me fvckin sick.

:cuss:

 

[Razor Sharp]

LMAO @ the viagra plan

FWIW, I rarely ever get stopped because I do travel a lot and have figured out a few tricks to go under the radar. It's all about complying with their preliminary criteria

1. Empty your pockets.. all of them.
2. Remove coat/jacket and shoes beforehand so they don't have to ask
3. Take off anything metal, belt buckles, piercings. Try not to wear clothes with lots of zippers or metal buttons in them
4. If you have a laptop already have it in the tray and visible by the time they ask you to do so
5. Don't travel with any liquids. If you do make sure they go in your luggage and not the carry-on
6. Smile and be polite to the agents

Take that with a grain of salt. I haven't hopped on a plane in a couple of months so maybe this isn't so effective now.

Honestly I am dreading having to fly because I know that I probably won't reach my destination. If they do try to fry me with x-rays or handle my sh*t, they will definitely get an earful.. I think the whole airport will hear what I have to say.

The only way I can think to protest this and make a statement is to just stop flying. If enough people boycott, the airlines have no choice but to modify their procedures. I have a business trip coming up soon. It's a 10 hour drive and I've decided to take it even though plane would be much more convenient. Car rental is a lot cheaper too. F*ck these bastards and their Orwellian policies!

 

[5string]

Yep Razor....gonna get me some Viagra. Last I heard, it's not illegal to have an erection. Of course when they scan me, they won't let me on the plane anyway after they see my "deadly weapon".

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

There is a scene of a person standing in a scanner that they are showing incessantly on every news network.

The media people are not without humor. In the picture, it is obvious that this guy is packing serious heat.

 

[highconscienceness]

After it's over, I think to myself, "how could I mess with these guys the next time without getting into trouble"? I came up with this, I'm gonna get me a Viagra, take it about 1/2 hour before I go through security and look at a playboy or something. That'll give those clowns something to scan!!!! :moon:

You should opt out of naked body scanners. Their radiation destroys your DNA, it's part of population control. Better come with Irish skult and pop viagra.

Now the reason they were anal with you is to make you submit. As you described it, you weren't entirely submissive as you were going through them. It's A B Cs of a tyrannical governments, first they make you submit, then they undress you, then they kill you.

Look at this masonic art in Bank of America;

http://static.infowars.com/2010/11/i/article-images/boa_fresco_right.jpg
http://static.infowars.com/2010/11/i/article-images/boa_fresco_center.jpg
http://static.infowars.com/2010/11/i/article-images/boa_fresco_left.jpg

It's time line with events. Here are interpretations for goyim http://www.infowars.com/prophetic-art-in-bank-of-america/

2nd one is inside a concentration camp.


Now I don't give a damn how goyim you are, or how open or closed minded you are. Those body scanners damage your DNA. Go for a pat down, always! Soon pat downs will be illegal and body scanners deployed everywhere. You'd have vans on the street grabbin people and performing same type of procedures. Basically it's population control, between this and yearly vaccinations you won't be able to reproduce. If you care about your future, your survival, I suggest you either move out of the country, or join the resistance.


Here is naked body scanner rap http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhEMRSp7vaY
Here is TSA gangsta rap http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7AWw7t5zj0

 

[cordoncordon]

You went through the scanner with stuff in your pockets. That is a no no. Empty EVERYTHING out, walk through the scanner, you'll never have an issue. I flew out of LAX the day before TG, they had security walking around with dogs and machine guns. But when I got to the security and x ray machines, I emptied my pockets, including my wallet and chapstick, took out my lap top and x box, walked through the same scanner which I have been walking through for years, and had no problems, issues, or patdowns whatsoever. You really could have avoided the entire ordeal if you had just complied with TSA rules.

I must say, I always get a kick out of people complaining about TOO much security at the terminals. Hell, get everyone naked and stick a metal detector up our asses if its going to stop a terrorists from getting a bomb on board. Would I rather be inconvienenced for a for minutes? Or dead?

 

[5string]

You went through the scanner with stuff in your pockets. That is a no no. Empty EVERYTHING out, walk through the scanner, you'll never have an issue. I flew out of LAX the day before TG, they had security walking around with dogs and machine guns. But when I got to the security and x ray machines, I emptied my pockets, including my wallet and chapstick, took out my lap top and x box, walked through the same scanner which I have been walking through for years, and had no problems, issues, or patdowns whatsoever. You really could have avoided the entire ordeal if you had just complied with TSA rules.

I must say, I always get a kick out of people complaining about TOO much security at the terminals. Hell, get everyone naked and stick a metal detector up our asses if its going to stop a terrorists from getting a bomb on board. Would I rather be inconvienenced for a for minutes? Or dead?

OK CC. Point taken but I have some issues with your comments. First of all, I fly all the fvckin time. I go through with my wallet, with my watch on, etc. That's the first time they did that. Who gives a sh!t what you have on you if they can scan it and see it? Why didnt they ask me to take off my watch and look at that? There is no consistancy whatsoever with airport security.

And get this. I'm a frequent flyer bigtime. I have no criminal record. Not even a traffic ticket in 30 years. I'm a US citizen and a US Army veteran. WTF? Go profile the fvckers who really present a risk and leave me the fvck alone. It's not like I was wearing a white man dress and a turban looking suspicious.

This is nothing more than being politically correct and not wanting to offend a particular group of people. This is a waste of taxpayer money and resources. Fvckin government is turning the US into a police state. BigJimbo will like this comment.....The US has turned into a nation of sissies who are more concerned with political correctness than doing what is needed, right and just.

Sorry for the rant.

 

[spider_007]

....Hell, get everyone naked and stick a metal detector up our asses if its going to stop a terrorists from getting a bomb on board. Would I rather be inconvienenced for a for minutes? Or dead?

yea, i agree.....lets not worry about the rooth of the problem.

 

[Razor Sharp]

Yo 5string,

It turns out you don't need the viagra. Just some extra time and a bit of patience to destroy TSA policy with the power of the US Constitution.

http://noblasters.com/post/1650102322/my-tsa-encounter

I must say, I always get a kick out of people complaining about TOO much security at the terminals. Hell, get everyone naked and stick a metal detector up our asses if its going to stop a terrorists from getting a bomb on board. Would I rather be inconvienenced for a for minutes? Or dead?

I don't mean any offense by this at all but your stance is a perfect example of everything that's wrong with this country, a great nation that was built on slogans like "Give me liberty or give me death".. these days its "Give up your liberties or you're all gonna die!"

Consider this

• People find new imaginative ways to sneak explosives on board. TSA is always one step behind
• TSA is worthless. Their prevention record is ABYSMAL. Passengers stop more attacks. In fact they have yet to stop one single terrorist
• TSA policy is in direct contradiction with your 4th Amendment rights as an American.

You are basically saying that if people are afraid enough, they should give up the freedoms promised them by the law of their land. You realize that this actually makes you a supporter of terrorism right? By your logic the terrorists win. In fact I'm sure they are LOVING every second of this, seeing the rights of once proud and free americans deteriorate because most of them are terrified of the big bad Taliban.

It's just mind-boggling to me that people would rather get anally probed, than face the negligible odds of facing a terrorist attack. BTW the actual odds are something like 1 in 10 million, that's like getting struck by lightning 20 times in a row. Sh*t you are more likely to die from a regular plane crash!

http://gizmodo.com/5435954/the-true-odds-of-airborne-terror-chart

But apparently that's enough for every man woman and child who gets on a flight to be sexually assaulted, bombarded with radiation and treated like criminals without any probable cause whatsoever? It's a totally disproportionate response to a threat, and the only reason they get away with it is because people like you will so readily comply and chuck your rights out the window because you are f*cking scared.

Congratulations. You are living proof that terrorism is effective.

 

[Alle_Gory]

I must say, I always get a kick out of people complaining about TOO much security at the terminals. Hell, get everyone naked and stick a metal detector up our asses if its going to stop a terrorists from getting a bomb on board. Would I rather be inconvienenced for a for minutes? Or dead?

Except you forget:

1. You have a higher chance of getting hit by a bus than a terrorist.
2. The detectors don't pick up explosives. They pick up metals and other dense items.
3. Baggages aren't screened as much as thoroughly as passengers.
4. You can always carry explosives rectally. Now bend over and prepare for a thorough screening.
5. There is a higher chance of a terrorist smuggling explosives in through sea cargo because few containers are scanned. So you have a higher chance of getting hit by a terrorist on the ground than in the air.
6. The TSA has never caught any terrorist, ever. But plenty of agents have assaulted passengers. There's even this one case recently where a woman was kidnapped and raped by a TSA agent who later attempted suicide. But this is the best quality available when you advertise TSA jobs on pizza boxes.

Aren't you glad that giving your freedom away gets you all these advantages in return? But hey, you feeeel safe and that's all that matters right?

 

[Bluntmaster]

You are more likely to be killed by a cop than by a terrorist

http://newsblaze.com/story/20090221100148tsop.nb/topstory.html

After 9/11, the fear of another attack on U.S. soil cleanly supplanted the fear of having one`s penis chopped off by a vengeful lover in the pantheon of irrational American fears.

While we`re constantly being told that another attack is imminent and that radical Islamic fundamentalists are two steps away from establishing a caliphate in Branson, Missouri, just how close are they? How do the odds of dying in a terrorist attack stack up against the odds of dying in other unfortunate situations?

The following ratios were compiled using data from 2004 National Safety Council Estimates, a report based on data from The National Center for Health Statistics and the U.S. Census Bureau. In addition, 2003 mortality data from the Center for Disease Control was used.

-- You are 17,600 times more likely to die from heart disease than from a terrorist attack

-- You are 12,571 times more likely to die from cancer than from a terrorist attack

-- You are 11,000 times more likely to die in an airplane accident than from a terrorist plot involving an airplane

-- You are 1048 times more likely to die from a car accident than from a terrorist attack

--You are 404 times more likely to die in a fall than from a terrorist attack

-- You are 87 times more likely to drown than die in a terrorist attack

-- You are 13 times more likely to die in a railway accident than from a terrorist attack

--You are 12 times more likely to die from accidental suffocation in bed than from a terrorist attack

--You are 9 times more likely to choke to death on your own vomit than die in a terrorist attack

--You are 8 times more likely to be killed by a police officer than by a terrorist

--You are 8 times more likely to die from accidental electrocution than from a terrorist attack

-- You are 6 times more likely to die from hot weather than from a terrorist attack

SOURCE: The Progressive Review

 

[Alle_Gory]

-- You are 6 times more likely to die from hot weather than from a terrorist attack

Someone should do something about this! What personal freedoms can I give away to be protected???

The government fondling my junk isn't enough.

 

[JustLurk]

You are more likely to be killed by a cop than by a terrorist

http://newsblaze.com/story/20090221100148tsop.nb/topstory.html

After 9/11, the fear of another attack on U.S. soil cleanly supplanted the fear of having one`s penis chopped off by a vengeful lover in the pantheon of irrational American fears.

While we`re constantly being told that another attack is imminent and that radical Islamic fundamentalists are two steps away from establishing a caliphate in Branson, Missouri, just how close are they? How do the odds of dying in a terrorist attack stack up against the odds of dying in other unfortunate situations?

The following ratios were compiled using data from 2004 National Safety Council Estimates, a report based on data from The National Center for Health Statistics and the U.S. Census Bureau. In addition, 2003 mortality data from the Center for Disease Control was used.

-- You are 17,600 times more likely to die from heart disease than from a terrorist attack

-- You are 12,571 times more likely to die from cancer than from a terrorist attack

-- You are 11,000 times more likely to die in an airplane accident than from a terrorist plot involving an airplane

-- You are 1048 times more likely to die from a car accident than from a terrorist attack

--You are 404 times more likely to die in a fall than from a terrorist attack

-- You are 87 times more likely to drown than die in a terrorist attack

-- You are 13 times more likely to die in a railway accident than from a terrorist attack

--You are 12 times more likely to die from accidental suffocation in bed than from a terrorist attack

--You are 9 times more likely to choke to death on your own vomit than die in a terrorist attack

--You are 8 times more likely to be killed by a police officer than by a terrorist

--You are 8 times more likely to die from accidental electrocution than from a terrorist attack

-- You are 6 times more likely to die from hot weather than from a terrorist attack

SOURCE: The Progressive Review

Obligatory xkcd

Coming up in our top headlines! TSA arrests all McDonalds for alleged heart disease terrorism charges.

 

[Bluntmaster]

Obligatory xkcd

Coming up in our top headlines! TSA arrests all McDonalds for alleged heart disease terrorism charges.

Please go back to just lurk.

 

[JustLurk]

Please go back to just lurk.

On a more serious note, we're spending billions on homeland security with these odds and we're spending about 1/1000 that on heart disease issues. Heart disease is a less sexy line for politicians to tick votes off of, of course.
If the people running this country were las vegas gamblers they'd be flat broke and in horrendous amounts of debt. Only now the country is in horrendous amounts of debt and they stay rich, and yet, when banks screw up with their gambling and cause recession, the people that messed up get tons of cash and a second chance. The average joe pays for bailout. Do you want to argue that this is true, blunt? Or should I go lurk again?

OP paid for some of the the TSA with his tax dollars. That TSA guy got paid, partly by OP's tax money, to touch his ****.. I thought prostitution was illegal in the US?