The Truth Nothing Wrong with being yourself

[alone]

I must confess....
On reflecting Ihad my MOST success with women when I was myself. I.E. I simply went with the flow of things (I placed myself in tune with the environment with the universe around me) I cant describe teh feeling...I just lived in the moment I ust felt good energetic I never gave a damn. Then I found this site....
And my head was filled with analyzations modes of seductions" attitudes etcetera. And what happened? I became sick with thought.... I became worried with others impressions on me and what line to say.
I freeze now and remember the emotion of joy of euphoria Pook called it the fountain of youth. Its a feeling I long for and fills me at the moment
Ok I dont know what you people define as being yourself but whenever my friends told me to be myself I get what they mean. Be who you are A man
I cannot describe the emotion but I know the steps to get there:
Close your eyes
Think of a place which relaxes you ...
Sunset on the beach l
Relaxing on a hillside
Simply remember a place where you were mad with joy as achild running with your dog ,playing water war with your friends...
Breather in (through teh nose)
Then
Let.... Go....
Breathe Out
Embrace that nostalgia
Another Way
This time Imagine you're at the edge of a cliff, the brutal wind blows against you, the sky above is summer blue clear ther is nothing but emptiness beneath you, its a long way down...
Your arms are out stretched..... Your legs wobble slightly as you are about to drop...
Behind you lie your family and friends they laugh a bit some cheering you on, Amongst them aer your enemies they mock you
saying how rediculous you look "wanna be superman " some shout, "Punk!" others jeer. Finally amongst them is that gorgeous girl everybody has the hots for, she stares at you in wonder.....
Let go.....
Alll hate...
All resentment....
Bitterness....
Fear....
Insecurities.....
And simply.....
Slip .....
Into ....
The Moment
Thats It I guess
Peace

 

[Caldus]

I strongly agree man. Being yourself is the way to go. I've always had success when I just went with the flow and didn't put up a show with a girl or tried pick-up lines.

 

[Skweints]

I agree! But only partially. If who you are is naturally someone who lives by the moment, never stresses about everything, etc... then you're naturally a DJ. But if you are someone who always stresses over women, wants to be loved, a "hopeless romantic", then you're doomed. In your case, you got better results being who you are... it was the same in my case... that's why I picked up the rules so quickly (it took me weeks instead of months.) Becareful what advice you give out, sometimes it won't apply to everybody.

 

[Delta]

yah,

being yourself is great if you're a great guy.

being yourself is death if you're an a$$hole.

this leads to self reflection - what kind of person am i?

and then you have to know the right questions to ask in order to evaluate yourself properly... especially with respect to the relevant attributes that pertain to attracting women.

i.e. probably contrary to popular belief, a 'sensitive guy' is probably not gonna help you unless you are a wealthy, famous and spectacularly handsome actor playing a 'sensitive guy'.
--------------------------------------------------

but in as much as part of the mating dance is about PERFORMANCE and putting on a character;

BEING IN 'THE ZONE' is great... but this is different from 'being yourself'.

all performance benefits from being in that trance like state of 'the zone'.


delta

 

[dearsappho]

Originally posted by fuzzx
Now I'm able to convince chicks to play D&D and have fun doing it

LMFAO

 

[McKindley]

Being yourself is a good thing, but I've learned it works better for me now that I'm a refined version of who I am.

Have you ever heard a guy who JUST learned to play the guitar? He can hit all the chords, but it just doesn't sound that great. You can take a guy who's great at the guitar, let him play the exact same thing and it sounds great.

Being yourself is like that. If you refine who you are into its core you'll be lots of fun. Once I became really good at being me making friends and stuff became effortless. I'm enough fun to be around so I don't have to try anymore.

And passion. I've realized what draws people to me is the passion I have. Its infectious. People want to have passion in their lives, so they'll be drawn to those who already have it. Kind of like how people who want to be successful hang out with successfull people.

 

[Skweints]

Human emotion is contagious, dude! It doesn't just apply to passion and success. It applies to all emotion. I always get complimented on being able to make someone feel good after feeling like total crap, simply because I am happy and having a great time. If you can get a normally quiet/shy person to turn into a chatterbox, you've got the necessary skills. If you can get them to laugh and talk about crazy sh*t, instead of boring crap, you're a step ahead of a LOT of people. I know a bartender very well, and I watch her to learn how other guys act and how to pick up on different IOIs, and I've seen huge differences between the quality of our converation compared to other guys. (I've only seen her having conversations like the ones we have with maybe 2 or 3 other guys, and this is out of about 60 different guys)

 

[Double J]

Being yourself is ultimately the best way to go, because putting up a front won't last forever. If you're trying to act like someone you're not with a girl, your true self will surface eventually.

 

[Chlarence]

After coming to this board a couple of years I've had the same realisation. Being your true self is the way to go, but that depends on who your true self is.

Before I came to this board I was a good guy, but not very good with women because I thought that being a nice guy was the way to go. Then after discovering this site I had a huge realisation as to what I was doing wrong. Unfortunatly I thought that being a jerk was the way to attract women. Granted it did work at first, however I found that girls would get tired of my jerky attitude and leave.

On realising this I have gone back to my old self but with less of the old wussy traits. You don't have to be a jerk to attract the ladies just a fun, interesting guy who had his life together. When the ladies realise this you'll be beating then off with a stick.

 

[mistyc]

haha

And yet, the article on the main page "why not 'just be yourself'" is spot on. I quickly reread the article, and it doesn't say anything about being yourself.

But it does say a lot about the advice "Just be yourself" (JBY) and how/when it's given and by who, and how it is weak non-advice. And how it is usually interpreted as "just be passive and magically things will happen".

Being yourself (no "just" in front), without shame, of course is awesome.

 

[alphamale1]

Listen, being yourself is good when u already the man u want to be, have the things u want, have all the women u can get, then yeah be yourself........

the way i see it people say be urself cos they really dont know the answer and if they had an answer, it would take weeks to explain it.

When someone tells me to be yourself, i reply
well yeah when i become that -----------------> MAN then yeah u can tell me 'be urself' and i'll say 'no problem'

its when u know is when u have power.
keep mastering the stuff and use it...
shyt i wouldnt know what of guy you would be after all the hard work u've done but i tell u one thing

U'll be very UNIQUE.

Ben

P.S dont full for that bull**** 'be urself' cos it doesnt work when u know jackshyt what to do or how to behave.

 

[Kaine]

Are your social skills best left for ordering pizza?

Is your idea of socialising dealing out a headshot over the internet in a dimly lit basement with a 2 litre bottle of coke?

Do you think a bench press is just a simple table top steel working device?

Is your idea of fashion a mullet and a dragonball tshirt?

You believe grooming should only be performed by a close knit family of monkeys?

Hey thats cool! What are you still doing here? Just continue being yourself.

A++ advice. Because the reality is, girls love dorks (as long as you relax and JBY).

 

[BlaKTooth]

When you Just Be Yourself, you are a real man, 100%...

But

Most people (i.e. dorks) act nice and AFC Even though they feel deep down that they want to act differently

Most people censor their emotions unknowingly... they teach themselves to become passive and weak. Their free, emotional self is buried under all their society "fronts." They think that they have to be ungroomed slobs because that's what society thinks of them.

Thats the prob with JBY advice.... most people dont know where to find themselves.

But, for most of the people on this site, who understand that being AFC just because society tells you is the wrong way to go, JBY is the BEST advice you can give.

Being a DJ is all about unlocking your self.

Anyway, nice post.