The TRUTH from a Player

[GreatHornedOwl]

First of all, you have to realize that just because a guy is a player does not mean he's a jerk. Often times he's a smooth talking charmer that knows what he's doing. I've slept with 43 women. I'm not bragging (okay, maybe a little). In fact, I have never been called a "jerk" to my face. I'm sure they've told their girlfriends I was, but not in front of me. This is a tag that's tossed around by people in this community who are very naive and make assumptions about how this game works. And it needs addressing because telling guys to go around acting like jerks is misleading to those who are trying to improve their skills. I often read instances where guys in this forum have felt a sense of accomplishment because a women called them a jerk. The damndest thing, it turns out there was no physical escalation or any F-close on the girl. Most of the time not even a phone number to speak of! If a girl is calling you these things and you haven't slept with her, you are going ass backwards.

If that first paragraph seems slightly contradictory, it should.

Jerk has a double meaning and applies to two different types of guys:

1.) Smooth talkers who have sex with many women are called jerks AFTER they bang them

2.) Guys that want women to label them as a jerk because they THINK it will help them sleep with them

Guys in the latter category who go around acting this way are overcompensating for their fear of rejection. They think by putting on this facade the girl will THINK he's a player. What you really reek of is FAKENESS. Girls (especially attractive ones) can spot it a mile away, maybe even two. Drop the act, you're not fooling anyone.

Just today I was at Walgreens shopping for batteries (man are they expensive), and out of the corner of my eye I saw this HB 8. This guy walked past her and said "Damn you look good", followed by "Mmmm" with a cheesy smile to boot. The girl showed a little gumption by rolling her eyes. I had to laugh. There was nothing smooth about this interaction.

The guy couldn't actually go up to her and start a conversation and try to get her number. He had to put on a front because he was too timid to take action.

I didn't sleep with 43 women by making meaningless passes, or trying to act like a "jerk". I'm willing to bet the guys who have slept with as much women as me haven't either. We don't waste time. My point here: Sh!t, or get off the pot.

Soo... why are players good with women? Honestly, If I had to sum it up in one sentence, it would be: We are attention wh0res

WAIT.... WHAT??

Yes.

No...?

Yes.

For the same reason a girl is a slvt.

I get off on the attention.

Look at the similarities:

Player: Hangs out with lots of girls
Slvt: Hangs out with lots of guys

Player: Gets ego boost making a move on a girl
Slvt: Gets ego boost when guy makes move

Player: Sleeps with lots of girls
Slvt: Sleeps with lots of guys

Player: High self-esteem after sleeping with lots of girls
Slvt: High self-esteem after sleeping with lots of guys

I'll give you an example of how I think. Let's say there's a hot girl walking by herself in the mall. Most guys here would probably approach her. I would wait until she was in the vicinity of other guys and then approach, because it makes me look good walking up to a girl in front of an audience. I become the focal point.

Group of girls at Target? Most guys probably wouldn't touch it. I would walk up and start a conversation just to get a reaction out of them, for the simple fact that most guys would be too scared.

Understand what's going on? I am the male version of an attention wh0re. Do I get nervous when I approach girls? Sometimes, but I approach anyway because I want hot girls to notice me, and I get off on the attention of the interaction, regardless if I succeeded or not.

It's probably more insecurity than it is confidence.

How's that for a head scratcher?

 

[Real Talk]

Best post I've read in a long time.

 

[Ease]

You are a super cool guy, we are all impressed.

Good job buddy, condense your writing so it isnt so long next time.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

Over the years, look at how many threads have been made here about what to do with an attention wh0re. Often times, guys knew BEFORE hand their were dealing with an AW, but for some reason they just couldn't let the girl go. The fact she hung around lots of guys, was openly flirtatious, even came across a bit slutty. He wanted her more.

Now, reverse the situation. We're going to uncover a scary revelation. How often does that girl you lust after want the guy that hangs around lots of girls, knows BEFORE hand is a player, but just can't resist even after friends warn her? She wanted him more.

Social value is all about being THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. You want to sleeps with lots of women? Beat them at their own game.

Quick story. I don't recommend this level of candor with a women you just met, but I'd like to illustrate a point. A couple of months ago I was at a party with some friends and 3 chicks who I didn't know very well. They were all pretty hot. Anyway, one of the girls went into the kitchen to grab a Jello shot. I followed her in there discreetly, and as she reached into the fridge, I kissed her on the neck. She kinda laughed and looked surprised. We walked back into the living room where the crowd was. Nobody knew what happened. Fast foward an hour. One of the other girls walked back to her car because she forgot her phone. I followed. As she reached inside the car, I kissed her on the neck as well. She smiled, but wasn't very receptive.

Who did I end up sleeping with? The third girl that found out I kissed two of her friends. A month later, the girl that wasn't very receptive that found out I slept with the third girl. In other words, I led those girls on and used it to my advantage to sleep with them both.

This is exactly how female slvts operate.

You have to STEAL the spotlight off these girls and shine it on yourself! The girl that wasn't receptive at first that I ended up sleeping with, I don't even think she really liked me. But her ego was hurt when she found out I slept with one of her friends. I had more value than she did. She felt "left out" and was probably confused because I kissed her on the neck, then turned around and slept with her girlfriend.

It sounds catty and underhanded... and it is. But the reality is, being a player and being an AW is the same thing and involves one driving force: The gratification of being the center of attention.

P.S. - Ease, you are jealous of me because I sleep with a lot of women. Guys who are bad with chicks resent guys who are good with them.

Thus, proving my point it all comes back to the human EGO.

I didn't have to waste my time posting this advice, but I wanted guys here to understand what's really going on. If you implement the thought process I'm conveying, I'm not saying you're going to get laid like a rock star, but you will get laid... a lot.

 

[teacha]

Greene touched on this in his book 'the art of seduction'....nice post

Appear to Be an Object of Desire – Create Triangles
Few are drawn to the person whom others avoid or neglect; people gather around those who have already attracted interest. To draw your victims closer and make them hungry to possess you, you must create and aura of desirability—of being wanted and court by many. It will become a point of vanity for them to be the preferred object of your attention, to win you away from a crowd of admirers. Build a reputation that precedes you: If many have succumbed to your charms, there must be a reason.

 

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

omg so true,
batteries are too expensive these days

 

[zekko]

Over the years, look at how many threads have been made here about what to do with an attention wh0re. Often times, guys knew BEFORE hand their were dealing with an AW, but for some reason they just couldn't let the girl go. The fact she hung around lots of guys, was openly flirtatious, even came across a bit slutty. He wanted her more.

Now, reverse the situation. We're going to uncover a scary revelation. How often does that girl you lust after want the guy that hangs around lots of girls, knows BEFORE hand is a player, but just can't resist even after friends warn her? She wanted him more.

The social proof factor tends to work better on women than men. "My friends will be so impressed I went out with x, because they all wanted him too".

With female AWs, I do think that's a factor as well, but I notice they usually tend to be very hot and that's what attracts the guys. All the girl has to do is pretend that she's interested in some guys, and they all come running. I do think there are some ugly AWs too, it's just that no one really notices them or takes them seriously.

I don't think guys are impressed that the AWs flirt with other guys, I think they are impressed that they flirt with THEM (and are hot).

Quick story. I don't recommend this level of candor with a women you just met, but I'd like to illustrate a point. A couple of months ago I was at a party with some friends and 3 chicks who I didn't know very well. They were all pretty hot. Anyway, one of the girls went into the kitchen to grab a Jello shot. I followed her in there discreetly, and as she reached into the fridge, I kissed her on the neck. She kinda laughed and looked surprised. We walked back into the living room where the crowd was. Nobody knew what happened. Fast foward an hour. One of the other girls walked back to her car because she forgot her phone. I followed. As she reached inside the car, I kissed her on the neck as well. She smiled, but wasn't very receptive.

That actually sounds a little creepy, but it worked so what can I say?

You have to STEAL the spotlight off these girls and shine it on yourself! The girl that wasn't receptive at first that I ended up sleeping with, I don't even think she really liked me. But her ego was hurt when she found out I slept with one of her friends. I had more value than she did. She felt "left out" and was probably confused because I kissed her on the neck, then turned around and slept with her girlfriend.

I think that's pretty brilliant honestly.
Probably not good for relationship game though

It sounds catty and underhanded... and it is. But the reality is, being a player and being an AW is the same thing and involves one driving force: The gratification of being the center of attention.

I like your equating the player with the attention ho.
Sometimes a guy always trying to be the center of attention can come across as a little bit desperate, but the important thing is what you mention: the driving force. Wanting to be the center of attention is a powerful motivator and drives a guy into action. If he's that type of person.
And I know more than a few of these types. A guy of action will almost always be more likely to get laid than a guy who is passive.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Actually, people who want to be the center of attention all the time are fuking annoying. You always feel like a guest or "fan".
If a girl wants my attention, it´s okay, but if she wants my attention + attention from 200 other guys, then something is wrong.

 

[zekko]

Actually, people who want to be the center of attention all the time are fuking annoying. You always feel like a guest or "fan".
If a girl wants my attention, it´s okay, but if she wants my attention + attention from 200 other guys, then something is wrong.

I definitely agree with you that AWs are to be avoided like the plague. Who wants to be one of her many orbiters?

Now males who want to be the center of attention, that's a trickier subject. There are a lot of pickup gurus that tell you to be the leader of any group, the center of attention, the life of the party guy. It certainly isn't my style and I don't think it's necessary. I look at them as personality types, and guys like that will generally have more luck getting laid than more passive guys.

One reason is that they are relentless. They HAVE to be the center of attention. They HAVE to have the girls' attention. They will do anything to get it, and this need overrides all fear or insecurity that they may have. They seek it out at all cost and cannot rest until they get it. They keep going and going until they have it. For example, in another thread by the OP, he states he gets 25 numbers a night in bars. That's pretty extreme, and more than most guys on this forum I imagine. This dude could probably go through the whole bootcamp in a matter of days.

This type of personality is a good one for shy awkward guys to emulate, because that type of personality is going to be way more successful than the shy awkward personality when it comes to women. I think that's why so many pickup gurus try to teach it.

 

[Maxtro]

Great thread. I'm very jealous.

GreatHornedOwl how did you reach that level?

I love female attention, it's like a drug to me. The problem is that I get it so rarely, I'm afraid of losing it once I get it, which means I don't do anything to push the boundaries.

How do you not care about getting a bad reaction?

 

[909pua]

Good post, I can relate to this thread somewhat and i have some of the basic building blocks you are applying but I am way behind in getting to your status but here are some questions I'm going to ask you that you didn't post about being a true player:

1) Do you do more initiating than the girl (from asking out, inviting, hanging out, etc)?

2) How much money to you spend on these slvts before and after you bang them?

3) So if you are re-defining the meaning of a jerk per your post, so what does that mean in the early stages before you bang them, do you somewhat act like an AFC (opening doors, putting them on a pedestal, complimenting) as in when you smooth talk them and give in (even though you know its an AFC move)?

I know I have more questions, if i formulate some more, I will post them. ANd also, you guys that HATE on his thread and Tha Owl, you need to stop that hater's attitude (to me that's also an AFC is other guys acting jealous cause another guy is getting laid more than he is) because this forum is about learning from people like him to make your game better. Stop acting like an AFC!

 

[Ease]

Yo big guy dont get upset i was just congradulating you on what a cool guy you are.

Keep getting those girls buddy.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

Good post, I can relate to this thread somewhat and i have some of the basic building blocks you are applying but I am way behind in getting to your status but here are some questions I'm going to ask you that you didn't post about being a true player:

Do you do more initiating than the girl (from asking out, inviting, hanging out, etc)?

I initiate almost every time. That includes approaching, calling, hanging out, etc. I didn't sleep with a lot of girls by being passive. Now I understand most guys here would think "Yeah but I don't have the confidence to do that." The funny thing is -- and I mentioned it earlier -- I don't really think I'm that confident. I approach girls probably more out of insecuirty and for the insatiable goal of getting laid. I'm comfortable with my insecurity, it doesn't bother me. Most guys are insecure about being insecure. The sight of an attractive women produces fire in my loins, I'm horny. Guys need to let their horniess take over.

I see a girl first thing that pops into my mind is "I wonder if I can get her." I almost always approach because I know that if I get the girl's number and bang her, I will look good with her in front of other people, especially other females. Which in turn, will make them want me more. But most guys think "What if I get rejected?" I think "What if I get the number?"

2) How much money to you spend on these slvts before and after you bang them?

In bars, never do I buy a girl a drink. First of all, I'm out of most bars in 10 minutes after I get a couple of phone numbers. The hard thing about the bar scene is once you engage someone, you're kind of locked in for 10-15 minutes. I don't do this. I approach, say hi, get the number and I'm out of there. So in this regard, I spend nothing.

However, it's a bit different doing day game. If I get a girl's number at the mall for example, and she agrees to meet up with me a few days later, there's a fairly good chance she's interested. If she wasn't, she wouldn't be wasting her time. I'd send out a text (never do I call) saying "Let's meet up for a drink." We'd have one or two, and that would be it. There's a difference in paying for a girl you MEET at the bar, from a girl you MET UP with at the bar. Due to the sheer number of girls I approach though, I've since stopped meeting them up for drinks. It's gotten too expensive. Their might be a lot of guys saying "Well, you shouldn't be paying for her drinks." You approach a girl, you ask her out for a drink, you pay. It's that simple. I've done that before where I waited until the girl reached for the tab, and it was the most awkward situation I've ever been in. I grabbed it from her, and took care of business.

So now I've shifted from drinks to asking them to hang out. Here's an excerpt from a recent text with a girl I cold approached.

Me: Boo
Her: Who is this?
Me: x, from the mall
Her: Oh hey
Me: What are you doing?
Her: nm, at a friend's house
Me: Text me when you're done, let's hang
Her: Okay, probly like an hour
Me: Perfect

The gist here is that there's a reason I'm texting this girl... because I want to bang her. Did the girl think I was being too pushy? Don't know, don't care. It's not about what she thinks, it's what I think. I thought she was hot, so I'm making an effort to bed her. This is how my text game works.


3) So if you are re-defining the meaning of a jerk per your post, so what does that mean in the early stages before you bang them, do you somewhat act like an AFC (opening doors, putting them on a pedestal, complimenting) as in when you smooth talk them and give in (even though you know its an AFC move)?

Listen, women love flattery. Don't let anyone tell you different. The main difference is when and how you do it. When dealing with cold approaches, generally I stick to "cute" or some variant during the initial interaction. If the girl meets up with me, I become more aggressive.

lol, this one girl that came over a few months ago had an amazing rack. It's all I could focus on during our conversation. I finally a said to her "You have perfect breasts, I need to run my hands over perfection", and reached over and started fondling them. She started laughing, and that laughter turned to light pleasurous moans as I continued. Damn, it was hot. I only met up with that girl one time, because I wanted to try that on other hot girls.

My mentality here isn't so much about the women, as it is soothing my ego. This is what dictates my behavior.

I know I have more questions, if i formulate some more, I will post them. ANd also, you guys that HATE on his thread and Tha Owl, you need to stop that hater's attitude (to me that's also an AFC is other guys acting jealous cause another guy is getting laid more than he is) because this forum is about learning from people like him to make your game better. Stop acting like an AFC!

 

[nismo-4]

Filed under "Judge nismo's tips."

Quite a long post, but I still read it all!

You earned +1 rep Owl!

 

[Scars]

I completely agree and I've connected the dots in a similar way and came up with the same conclusion.

Your last line really hit deep. About how it's more of an "insecurity" then confidence thing. I've slept with exactly 29 woman. I realized a long time ago that I got off on the satisfaction of girls wanting me, having sex with me, and the attention they give me.

I guess I kinda new this my whole player life, but it didn't really dawn on me until you put down into words. It makes complete sense now.

Good job.

+1 rep.

 

[EA Gold]

You need Jesus Christ.

 

[1 Bad Dude]

Three long posts could've been summed up by this: HBs get lots of social attention. If you want to get A$$ from them, then you have to have HIGH social value.

The truth, from another player. I've slept with almost thirty girls between my nineteenth birthday and my twenty-first. I live outside of detroit. A twenty minute drive from canada where the legal age for everything is nineteen. Oh... those were the days. Some really good times back then. Now-a-days I gotta navigate then minefield of singlemotherdom.

 

[909pua]

Owl, thanks for the reply. SO now my question is, do you continue banging these girls? How many do you have rotating right now on some steady flow of A$$?