THE TRUTH: Female Friends

[Mike32ct]

OK, so basically if you want anything from her, it's not going to work.

In the past, when I made a female friend, I did so because I wanted her. Her friends were never the goal. But of course I wouldn't mind being introduced to them.

Even though I've since abandoned the friends first route, its good to finally see why I never met their friends either.

That's one less mystery for me.

Correct. Only have a female friend if you genuinely want to be her friend. Do NOT befriend a girl to try to hook up with her and/or her friends. If a hookup happens (though highly unlikely), it's a bonus.

I have three female friends. Two of which, we are mutually NOT attracted to each other at all, but we like each other as people.

My other female friend was attracted to me, but I wasn't attracted to her so I LJBF her. She's ok with that. Again we like each other as people but aren't going to hook up.

 

[The_411]

Some important pieces are being left out. For the connector you need to avoid one on one encounters if all possible or make it so that if there are one on one encounters it's on non-date terms, or puts both of you in positions to meet other members of the opposite sex.

You always want to try to meet up with groups of friends that way you can give her the idea that you're bringing guys along who are free. Of course what she doesn't know is that these guys are also probably interested in her hot friends.

You can't bring a group of guys that are all smooth well dressed players because she'll likely figure out you're using her a social connector and you and perhaps some of your buddies will be c-blocked.

The problem is that some of the connectors have hordes of friends that are also connector types and you may get a herd rather than her and some hot friends.

It's hard to tell sometimes what her friends will be like.

There are a couple of ways to make sure she's not attracted to you. One of which is the super AFC. Go super AFC on her and you can kill attraction. I discovered this when I was causally dating/meeting people. Super AFC quashes any desire for her for you.

However, here's the key, Backbreaker was correct in that if you’re too nice she won't connect you. You need to capture certain AFC elements that give her the impression that your caring sensitive guy who has had hard luck with women and just needs to meet the right girl.

After all if you're here this is probably true or was probably true at least. Girls will appreciate super nice and they won't get attached to it, unless you're too good looking.

You do need to maintain some edge so you’re not a pushover.

It's a delicate line to play but if played correctly can get you lots of connections and you can even use those connections on the girls the connector connected you with if they're not what you want.

 

[Maxtro]

There are a couple of ways to make sure she's not attracted to you. One of which is the super AFC. Go super AFC on her and you can kill attraction. I discovered this when I was causally dating/meeting people. Super AFC quashes any desire for her for you.

LOL that's the first time I've ever seen advice to kill attraction.

Don't worry 411, I can do that without even trying

Heh, just for the heck of it, I tried to get a female "friend" to introduce me to some of her sorority sisters and she actively told me to stay away from them. It was more of a joking, warning thing but she was obviously against it.

You need to capture certain AFC elements that give her the impression that your caring sensitive guy who has had hard luck with women and just needs to meet the right girl.

Women don't give a shit about that.

I guess unless they are a real friend.

What's funny is that the only girl at all who has mentioned wanting things to work out for me, is a girl who I spent a lot of time with last year and she rejected me. Though she told me that a few months after I was rejected.

 

[The_411]

LOL that's the first time I've ever seen advice to kill attraction.

Don't worry 411, I can do that without even trying

Heh, just for the heck of it, I tried to get a female "friend" to introduce me to some of her sorority sisters and she actively told me to stay away from them. It was more of a joking, warning thing but she was obviously against it.

Women don't give a shit about that.

I guess unless they are a real friend.

What's funny is that the only girl at all who has mentioned wanting things to work out for me, is a girl who I spent a lot of time with last year and she rejected me. Though she told me that a few months after I was rejected.

You have to plant an idea in a connector woman's head that makes her want to introduce you to her friends. You making a suggestion or being an initiator says I don't find you (the connector) attractive but I want you to hook me up with your friends which is a DHV, but also an ego crusher for her, becuase it basically communicates I'm using you.

Women often want you to be an orbiter of sorts and sadly many women want you to be a break in case of emergency option that no other woman else has access to.

Woman play the game too they want their cake and eat it too and only a few rare women will actually be nice and set you up. It's usually when they really like as you friend and find you of high quality.

So, what I was trying to explain, albeit poorly, is that you want to try to charm a connector in a way that not only demosntrates you're not interested, but also suggests that you will return the favor to introduce her to some guys if she will introduce you to some girls.

It's simply networking for social purposes.

A good way to do this is to do this would be a group outting to sporting events. Baseball tends to be the best because you have sun, beer, an event with lots of breaks, a place to see things around the ball park. It's a perfect day approach venue.

Of course you gotta lay friend groundwork first by doing plantonic things together (i.e events that are generally not recommended for attraction building) but the idea is that if you have multiple connectors you've got lots of pools to choose from and you're able to keep yourself very busy.

The big problem is that the more you willingly try to kill attraction.. the chances are the less successful at killing it you will be ...

 

[Maxtro]

Yeah that's a lot of work just to try and get set up with a girl's friends. Though I do see how it can be done if you run with the right social circle.

As for the girl I was talking about. Due to her religion, she isn't allowed to date. I haven't really made an effort to get her to like me or ask her out. If she was of a different culture, my approach with her would have been completely different.

Woman play the game too they want their cake and eat it too and only a few rare women will actually be nice and set you up. It's usually when they really like as you friend and find you of high quality.

It's funny how often I hear people say that girls will introduce you to their friends and the truth is that it's rarely done.

It looks like it's so rare that it shouldn't be a reason to have female friends.

 

[cablecow15]

wow , i mean i got the initial post , n it makes sense , everyone else seems like their over thinking it , you don't go out and make a female friend JUST to get her friends ,just become friends with a attractive woman. dont make friends with girls just to get laid , that's putting to much effort into it , I used to hang out with a friends gf , she was meh , but she was fun and drove her hotter friends around , she made those friends after id known her for a while . you don't want a girl that sees you as a lay , this girl thought of me as a brother ,that's what you want , you want some one that will in no way hinder you . I read a amazing post about it once , it was a guy talking about having a gorgeous girl that he was just friends with , and she would be his wing man and make girl in a club hella jealous, she would help him shop for the right clothes, it works if you do it right.


Alos , girls almost never "introduce you " to their friends ,you just meet , like you will meet up with her n she has friends with her , its not like a planned arrangement if youve known a girl for a while and you havent met any of her friends , there is a reason for it lol

 

[handle]

Too much overthinking in this post. Have a life, meet cool people, and yeah, they'll probably have some hot acquaintances. As just about everyone does. Some of which you can bang if you feel like it because you're a cool, interesting guy. Make some genuine friends and quit scheming. It isn't that hard. And it's a lot easier to maintain a "what cool stuff should I do today?" mindset than thinking "where's the connector? How am I gonna leverage this to my advantage?" Not to mention a lot more fun and less stressful. Meeting girls should be fun and natural.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Agreed-- socializing should NOT be a mental chess game. It's fun to think about these things in theory, but in practice you are NOT going to be the great manipulator of social order that such plans would suggest.

The best bet for meeting lots of new women through your social circle? Host parties, events, happy hours, etc.--and invite acquaintances, rather than close friends. Tell them to bring friends--women will tend to invite other single women to things like this, and there will ALWAYS be a subtext of matchmaking, without the awkwardness of asking to be "fixed up" (which is usually an attraction killer...if you like a girl, don't tell her friend- go up and talk to her yourself!). An added bonus is that being a host comes with built-in frame control, since it's your party.

Close friends aren't really ideal for this kind of thing, because there's too much at stake if things don't go well. Also, a girl that likes you isn't really going to go out of her way to toss girls your way.

 

[CoolBlue]

Connecting works only when the girl is too hot for you and is introducing you to a girl less hot than her...

It's possible to be cool friends with a girl and she really wants to hook you up with her hot best friend. But that only happens if you are providing a lot of benefits in her life that she can't do without you, and she also knows that there is no chance you are attracted to her so she won't feel jealousy.