The truth about attraction: She will NEVER like you

[Raptured Phoenix]

Attraction is an extremely simple concept. I just did a search for "attraction," read through about 60+ threads, and didnt notice ANYONE get at the very essence of attraction. The simple CORE that holds true for EVERY person. Man, Woman, and child.

Before we get to that however, its important to know what I mean when I say "attraction." Let's DEFINE attraction.

Well, I went to www.dictionary.com and got this definition:

Attracting: To arouse or compel the interest, admiration, or attention of

If someone is attracted to you, they have interest in you, they admire you, and they give you a fair amount of attention, true?


But these are only the 'symptoms' of attraction. The actual attraction is even simpler!

Most of you guys have been trying to cultivate the SYMPTOMS of attraction, not an attraction per se.

In reality...what makes you so attractive to the person?

I mean...let's think about this...do they EVER really like YOU?






NO!

The other person will NEVER like you. Read that again.


Now again.



Now accept it as truth.


So, if not you...then who? The better question is "WHAT."

What do they like about you? Nothing.

What do they like? The way they feel.

It does NOT matter who makes them feel the way they like feeling, it only matters whether it happens or not


Don't let your ego decieve you into thinking they like YOU, they are always ONLY attracted to a certain way of feeling.

As soon as you realize this, you will stop asking "how do I make the girl like me?" because it is an irrelevant question.

You can't do it. She will NEVER like you.

The more accurate question would be "What does she like feeling, and how can I make her experience this feeling?"

But that is a topic for another thread

 

[Dee-Zy]

Very good post.

 

[rgeere]

Cool, another one wakes up from the matrix!

I was just trying to convince and AFC friend of mine of this principle today. Glad you have found this out, men need to understand this....

 

[Project.D]

Awesome insight and post. Knowing this, one doesnt have to think about not being good-looking enough or "in their league" when DJing an HB. Its all about how you can get those endorphines flowing.

 

[So pimp its scary]

You make a good point, although it sounds like you are starting to fall into the SS attitude.

Either way, how do you go about developping this attraction?

- Rapport
- Mirroring
- Energy
- Positivity
- Good humour

Good day my friend.

 

[Elfynne]

Not true. Not true at all.

If it's all just about endorphins, what explains the feeling of heartbreak when this person you "like" does not like you back?

If it was only about the feelings you get from being around a person, then it should be no big deal if the person does not feel the same way around you, since you can always find someone else who WILL feel that way in your presence. There is much more to it than merely endorphins.

 

[Lord_Pancake]

elf
heartbreak = endorphine break = heart missing endorphins.
Take a step back and think about the heart as a metaphor.
What is it a metaphor for? Feelings especially feeling good.
and what makes you feel good? Endorphins.
so yes it is all about endorphins

Raptured Pheonix - great post. Imagine neuroscientists running brain scans on girls as they become interested/pay extra attention/ become excited by guys. And then following up these tests with pills that stimulate the brain regions responsible for the release of endorphins/dopamine/hormones in those areas.
In our hedonistic society (america at least) this scenario is not too far fetched. We already have viagra, anti-depressents, and other feel good drugs.
The bad part of this society is that women become apathetic towards guys and effectively eliminate the middle man to gain direct control of their feelings.
The good news is, we can always slip these pills in her drink, and she'll be instantly attracted to us.

 

[Elfynne]

Lord Pancake,


Endorphins are only produced when a person feels certain positive emotions. But the heart represents the entire spectrum of human emotions, ranging from the extreme heights of joy to the pits of depression. There are also psychological ramifications when it comes to human attraction. If you are head-over-heels for someone and they end up treating you like garbage, your mental and emotional sensibilities are offended. Psychological components to attraction are often much more important than the chemical ones.

 

[J-Man]

Originally posted by Raptured Phoenix
The more accurate question would be "What does she like feeling, and how can I make her experience this feeling?"

But that is a topic for another thread

and im waiting for you to make that thread.

this was a really good post, but keep in mind it doesnt actually solve anything. but while it has very little practical use, it is extremely interesting.

i guess its one of those things that are really obvious, but no one ever really thinks about. not even the analytical type.

 

[Raptured Phoenix]

Re: Re: The truth about attraction: She will NEVER like you

Originally posted by J-Man
and im waiting for you to make that thread.

Aren't there already threads about these things?

Geez what the hell happened to this site while I was gone? Seems like I'm gonna have to revive a LOT of the original threads.

 

[Raptured Phoenix]

Originally posted by Elfynne
Not true. Not true at all.

If it's all just about endorphins, what explains the feeling of heartbreak when this person you "like" does not like you back?

When did I ever say it was JUST ENDORPHINS?

I believe what I actually said was that it was about making the other person feel something they liked.

Is heartbreak not a feeling? Albeit one that isn't pleasant, you are still making the person feel something. Was the theme of my thread not about FEELINGS?

Is heartbreak the ONLY thing you feel at a time? No, chances are you still feel however the guy you liked made you feel. That is why you still "like them." Once you stop feeling that certain way that you like so much, you will stop being heartbroken over them and "move on."

Are you a female Elfynne?

A female I know was curious as to what I was writting, so I sent her my thread. She replies "I like you."

How many of you think I would attempt at convincing her otherwise?

 

[Lord_Pancake]

Elf
concepts like heads over heels, psychological components, mental and emotional sensibilities are all byproducts of the chemical processes going on in our brains.

When you refer to heartbreak with
"If it's all just about endorphins, what explains the feeling of heartbreak when this person you "like" does not like you back?"
you are not referring to the feelings attraction creates, you are referring to the need to feel attractive to other people.
If other people are not attracted to you as in they are not "aroused or compelled, or interested" in you, than other chemicals are released. These chemicals try to shut your body down. THey are not endorphins, they are much worse, and they are what you are calling "heartbreak". But don't take my word for it there are thousands of studies to back this chemical explanation up.

The death rate for babies either isolated from their mothers or just unloved by their mothers is staggeringly high. Psychologist Rene Spitz made this known in the 1940's.
Other studies since then show that rabbits that are petted and hugged live 60% longer. The rabbits no one is attracted to are the ones that have unhelpful hormones released into them that accelerate death.

Robert Sapolsky has found this true of primates. THe unloved ones at the bottom of the social hierarchy are filled with way too much cortisol - hormone which accelerates everything from ulcers to heart attacks.

In the end i think psychologically feeling hurt or rejected is less important than the actual hormones that flow into our bodies and affect our bodily functions.

 

[Raptured Phoenix]

Originally posted by So pimp its scary
You make a good point, although it sounds like you are starting to fall into the SS attitude.

Either way, how do you go about developping this attraction?

- Rapport
- Mirroring
- Energy
- Positivity
- Good humour

Good day my friend.

Speed Seduction is about getting laid as quickly as possible. I am only talking about making people feel a certain way.

That answers your question. Don't call it "attraction" if you are going to think of your concept and associate it with the word.

Just say the definition.

Now lets re-phrase your question:

"How do I go about developing a feeling within the girl that she enjoys?"

Don't you want to make other people feel fantastic? I'm sure you have some sense of altruism.

The superficial 'techniques' are up to you, what's important is to understand the underlying concept...which is...to make the person feel how they want to feel. That is what this thread is about; Understanding this underlying concept, accepting it, and then applying it.

 

[Elfynne]

Raptured Phoenix and Lord Pancake,

Yes, I'm female.

The purely chemical thing does not make sense to me. It is true that the chemicals our brain releases can be responsible for how we feel, but these same chemicals are triggered by thought processes going on in the brain. And these thoughts are in turn triggered by certain visuals, sounds, and other stimuli. I have read of the things which you have indicated, and actually I was going to mention something like that. The most obvious conclusion to make is that people (and many animals) are social creatures, and that we are meant to be social. People need and want the love, approval, and acceptance of others in order to be happy and healthy.

The thing that really makes me question the idea that all feelings stem from chemical reactions is this: This is only one example, but...the grief that a person feels when someone dies does not seem to me to be the result of chemicals. When a person cries over their dead mother, friend, etc., you might be able to justify that idea by saying that they feel bad since they will no longer see that person who made them feel so good. But this does not apply when people mourn the deaths of someone they do not even know. I know there have been times in the past when I heard of murders committed that were so horrendous that I could not help but shed tears for the victims. Yet I did not know any of these victims, and their deaths should not have meant anything to me because they had nothing to do with me.

The chemical idea also does not apply to someone who gives their own life to save someone else. Isn't it possible that people actually CARE about others, without constantly considering how that other person makes them feel?

 

[HuuBinh]

nice post Rapture,

Pimp is partially correct with regard to SS.

"What does she like feeling, and how can I make her experience this feeling?"

one of the cores to speed seduction is primarily answering this question.

 

[Raptured Phoenix]

Originally posted by Elfynne
The chemical idea also does not apply to someone who gives their own life to save someone else. Isn't it possible that people actually CARE about others, without constantly considering how that other person makes them feel?

See I never mentioned anything about chemicals, so what is even the relevance of this?


All my thread was about is realizing that the core of ATTRACTION is feeling the way you want.

What does anything you have said have to do with attraction?

 

[superpud]

Attraction starts with respect. Are you a man who can hold his own? Do you take care of your business? Do you treat people with respect? Do expect it in return? Are you responsible? For yourself and others. Are you well-groomed? Are you good to your word? Do you stand by it even if the whole world is against you? Are you who you say you are? Do you use your time wisely? Can you draw a line between work and play? Are you a hardworker? Do you accept constructive criticism? Are you willing to give it? Will you make yourself vulnerable to criticism, even if you expect it? Are you a real man?

All these are very pertinent questions, if not simple. In and of themselves are not conducive to attraction, but all put together describe the makings of character and a foundation on which seduction can be built upon. This is why some men can seduce women by not trying. It's in who they are. Their character and individual status alone can be very seductive indeed. The game as most people would refer to is just that, a game; the topping, the chocolate covering, a layer; sooner or later, the real you will be discovered.

 

[Raptured Phoenix]

Originally posted by superpud
Attraction starts with respect. Are you a man who can hold his own? Do you take care of your business? Do you treat people with respect? Do expect it in return? Are you responsible? For yourself and others. Are you well-groomed? Are you good to your word? Do you stand by it even if the whole world is against you? Are you who you say you are? Do you use your time wisely? Can you draw a line between work and play? Are you a hardworker? Do you accept constructive criticism? Are you willing to give it? Will you make yourself vulnerable to criticism, even if you expect it? Are you a real man?

This is all fine, but in and of itself will not make ANYBODY like you. You can use every single one of those qualities to show off in front of people and make them feel as if you were better than they are.

Do you like snobby show offs? Do you like feeling inferior to people?

Why do you think so many people LOVE watching the high and mighty fall? They have all of those qualities, just because you are respected socially, does not mean the person will "like you."

It all comes down to their feelings; attraction is not a physical thing, what makes you think physical actions/characterists are responsible for it?

Think of it as gravity its an invisible force, but its influences can be observed.

 

[superpud]

Rapture, I'm basically saying that not having some these things handled can screw up your chances even if the girl likes you. There are women who will like you based on having these things handled. Women can be smarter than their emotions, it does happen on occasion.

 

[Don Pablo]

Excellent post Rapture. BTW I used to live in Asheville.