The truth about 'alpha males'

JSH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 20, 2003
Messages
1,095
Reaction score
0
Age
37
Location
London
alpha gene, dont be silly, everything is due to a combination of genes and something like alpha (being dominant) will be dependent on a large number of things like stature and general bone headedness as well as being due to nurture, like ignoring pain. Secondly, alpha is just the name given to the behaviour of the creature that dominates a social grouping. If you are the head nerd in your clique, you are an alpha male, when in your clique.

Being alpha is about social dynamics, you can grow into being one and dependent on your culture and situation, different genes and different upbringings, bring out dominant and submissive aspects.

Its like the one perfect partner conundrum, if you become an alpha or find your perfect partner, then you are an alpha or in your perfect relationship, if you dont, then you do not have the capability of being an alpha or havnt met them yet.

So dont give up hope if you want to be dominant.
 

tactic

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2003
Messages
1,323
Reaction score
1
Age
37
Originally posted by playa
Yeah, and there's a "Rock Star" gene, a "President" gene....

What are you a damn fool?
Um... Okay?

I don't remember saying that there is such as alpha gene. Did i?
 

playa

Banned
Joined
Mar 4, 2004
Messages
48
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by JSH
alpha gene, dont be silly, everything is due to a combination of genes and something like alpha (being dominant) will be dependent on a large number of things like stature and general bone headedness as well as being due to nurture, like ignoring pain. Secondly, alpha is just the name given to the behaviour of the creature that dominates a social grouping. If you are the head nerd in your clique, you are an alpha male, when in your clique.

Being alpha is about social dynamics, you can grow into being one and dependent on your culture and situation, different genes and different upbringings, bring out dominant and submissive aspects.

Its like the one perfect partner conundrum, if you become an alpha or find your perfect partner, then you are an alpha or in your perfect relationship, if you dont, then you do not have the capability of being an alpha or havnt met them yet.

So dont give up hope if you want to be dominant.
Listen to this one he actually has his head out of his aS*
 

hjsknksbm

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 20, 2003
Messages
90
Reaction score
0
Age
40
Location
Tallahassee/Cleveland
Don't listen to this guy. Yes it may be programed in your genes but wat harm can there be walking around thinking your the hottest guy in the world. There is not harm in this attitude and it eliminates all insecurities.
 

playa

Banned
Joined
Mar 4, 2004
Messages
48
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by hjsknksbm
Don't listen to this guy. Yes it may be programed in your genes but wat harm can there be walking around thinking your the hottest guy in the world. There is not harm in this attitude and it eliminates all insecurities.
Yeah, except getting you asz kicked by some big guy or getting fired from a job because everyone thinks you're a stuck up asz.
 

TheInfamousCBear

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 7, 2002
Messages
705
Reaction score
2
Age
41
Location
The World In My Eyes
What ever happened to getting respect from other dudes? Why does everyone want to dominate? You wont always be the man everywhere and in every situation, but if you are respected, you will be good...
 

malestrom

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 16, 2004
Messages
19
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by pharoh
So, what makes you say that your not alpha when you seem to possess almost all of the traits? I was quite shocked when you said that. And then you said you can see based on using only your perception of someone's demeanor and body language whether he is ALPHA or NOT? Could you explain that a little more.

I just don't understand it when you and playa supreme talk about how people are born ALPHA or NOT. I mean, there is no gene for this ALPHANESS, or is there?

I think the fundamental difference between me and your standard alpha is that whereas an alpha tends to be the lynchpin in social situations, I am not.
Not because I am unable, but because I honestly don't care enough to do it. Truth be told, I don't like most social gatherings because of pretense and people showboating their manufactured personalities. I don't partake in that, and I don't contribute to their game. Because of this, I'm usually threatening to others or seen as weird or anti-social.

For example: I don't drink because I think alcohol tastes like s h i t. So when I go to bars with my friends, I don't drink and frankly don't give a flying fvck whether anyone likes it or not. But you'd be amazed at how upset people get with you over this. Anyway, point is, because I can't be bothered to partake of these pretenses, I sooner become the 'weird' guy rather than the fun-loving alpha. But, hey...whatever.


Also, as far as the gene thing:
I don't think there's an alpha gene - that's just ridiculous. What I said was there are TRAITS that are GENETIC and you can't really change these. Height, physical attractiveness, intelligence, verbal aptitude, emotional predisposition, athletic skill....all these elements play a factor in a males status. If you're a deformed midget with a 90 IQ and a 3rd grade education, you have to face it: you can't change many of these elements, and all the bad-boy posturing, confident attitude and eye contact won't be enough to make legions of women rip their panties off for you because they see you as an alpha. Not going to happen.
 

malestrom

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 16, 2004
Messages
19
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by hjsknksbm
Don't listen to this guy. Yes it may be programed in your genes but wat harm can there be walking around thinking your the hottest guy in the world. There is not harm in this attitude and it eliminates all insecurities.
This is exactly what I'm talking about. People thinking that through sheer willpower and mental games (like denial), they can bend their external reality to fit some imagined internal mold. It's not going to happen no matter how badly you want it to. People like this come across as desperate and pathetic.

You have to stay grounded in reality, man. Telling yourself you're a bunch of things you aren't only leads to doublethink - not success with women.

You have to be who you are - just constantly being the best version of that. All the while facing your fears, approaching women and letting nature take its course. At least that way, you know you're a badass because you REALLY ARE, not because you so heavily inundated your brain with wishful thinking that you're just some wannabe poser who looks like a hologram to everyone else.
 

tactic

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2003
Messages
1,323
Reaction score
1
Age
37
Like Vassago's thread.... Make the best of you.
 
Joined
Apr 3, 2003
Messages
3,667
Reaction score
18
Location
http://pimphop.com
Originally posted by tactic
Shall we make a good discussion about genes and alpha males? My last thread died so let's continue here. Is there an alpha gene? No, but we all have different genes. It's all about heredity.
And you know this 100% for a fact? And you also know that they have found that many of the men in prison have an extra chromosone.

Now as I recall back then when that was going around they postulated that many of the habitual criminals were this way due to their genitic make up.

I'm older now and my memory doesn't serve me as well but I do seem to recall discussiions on those with that choromosone were also alpha male types also....maybe I'm wrong in my old 45 year old age...maybe I'm not.

Only time will tell if some people are born with an extra toughness in them and a need to control or dominate others.

If you look at history it bred these types until they were no longer needed. Tribes and group families needed natural leaders to insure the survival of their kind.

Now any fool can claim manic depressiion or Bi polar and live off government cheese and stay alive and actually breed more like him.

I think someone used a new one on me today ODD or some stupid thing.
 
Joined
Apr 3, 2003
Messages
3,667
Reaction score
18
Location
http://pimphop.com
malestrom

You have to stay grounded in reality, man. Telling yourself you're a bunch of things you aren't only leads to doublethink - not success with women.

I think I already said all this in my alpha thread. You still didn't answer me which old screen name you had either. Smoke and mirrors bro.

But your right on point too fella. Keep on keepin on.
 

malestrom

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 16, 2004
Messages
19
Reaction score
0
Re: malestrom

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
I think I already said all this in my alpha thread. You still didn't answer me which old screen name you had either. Smoke and mirrors bro.
Well, I did respond to you in this post here:

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&postid=444162#post444162

Which, apparently, you quit reading 1/4th of the way through.

However, let me say again:

I am not some old vanquished nemesis that has resurrected myself under a new screen name just to battle you. I just discovered this forum in the past week. I give credit where credit is due: and your original thread is credited with some very insightful points. However, I think there was some flawed logic in the entire discourse - not JUST your original post - and I respectfully chose to disagree with some of it. Nothing personal.

Also, as far as the ODD (oppositional defiant disorder): I never claimed that I bought into all this psychiatric babble. I certainly don't believe I'm stricken with this disorder of 'ODD'. I think most psychiatry, including my own diagnosis, is pure unadulterated horseshi t.

The reason I mentioned it is because it illustrates a set of behaviors that are inherent to my personality and how that's filed and pigeonholed in our neat little worker-bee culture. In other words, taking personalities that at one time were responsible for courageous acts and leadership are now being labeled as 'problematic' by bull5hit therapists because they no longer serve a useful function. Virtue has become vice. And, by the way, I credit your original post for mentioning all of this as well. :) However, you don't have a copyright on this information/idea and it can be expressed again by others like I'm doing here. :)
 

ScrewIt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 11, 2004
Messages
1,776
Reaction score
2
Originally posted by malestrom
Originally posted by Player_Supreme
Hmmmm I guess you didn't really read the thread. Cause that is what I surmised.

Player, thanks for your reply.

My comments about your thread were based on what I saw as flawed logic - it's nothing personal.

We are in agreement on a great many things. Namely how to tell if you AREN'T an alphamale and also the fact that you can't be something you aren't. My comments, however, were more directed towards the portion of your original post about how to determine if you ARE an alpha:

-doing things without permission
-hate being told what to do
-anger and resentment towards our modern worker-bee society
-meeting resistance whereever you go
-not being the life of the party
-making people uncomfortable around you
-not wanting to wear a seatbelt
-getting hit when you were a kid

that describes me right down to the last detail. In fact, as a child, I was labeled with "ODD" (oppsitional defiant disorder). I hate being told what to do, and I will purposely not wear my seatbelt for reasons I don't fully understand myself. Additionally, I've been told I 'scare' people, look angry/dangerous and am intimidating. My conservative-and-do-everything-by-the-numbers-and-be-part-of-the-group friends rarely go out with me because, as you said, I'm 'the wild card' and they can't box me into a nice little corner where I make them feel comfortable. When I walk down the street, people get out of my way - not vice versa. People rarely look at me in the eye and, if they do, I often get uncomfortable because I can sense how intimdated they are. I also, generaly, rise to the top of any situation I'm in whether it be at work, school, etc. Furthermore, I attract girls that enjoy being somewhat manhandled in the bedroom - even being 'owned' sexually. In fact, my last girlfriend would get highly turned on when I made her tell me "who owns her pvssy" and doing things like pinning her down during sex.

HOWEVER, with all that being said, I also know I'm NOT an alpha male. I know one when I see one, and I'm not him - unless my perception of self is really skewed. :) I also know many guys who don't get along well with others, hate the worker-bee lifestyle and don't fit in very well into the general public. And they, most certainly, are not alpha males. On the contrary, many of them are bi-polar sociopaths, have ADHD, are 24 year old virgins or otherwise seen as anything BUT 'alpha' in even the most basic social contexts. Strangely, I enjoy their company more than any other, but I suspect it has more to do with intelligence than anything else.

Anyway, the reason I'm saying all this is because I think a great many guys look at themselves and see socially awkward, angry, aggressive personality traits; were beat by mommy and generally resist any attempt to be pinned down by society - and after reading your post, might walk away thinking "I'm an ALPHA!!"....but I beg to differ. Almost all alphas I know are well-adjusted socially and have very few of the personality traits you desribe. In fact, for many of them, their charisma comes from the fact that they AREN'T confrontational, angry or carrying around baggage that results from a disempowered upbringing. People are drawn to them like moths to a flame because they exude a kind of friendly demeanor and just being around them makes you feel special and happy. There's no sense of being 'dominated' or 'submitting'...they just naturally make people want to be around them/work for them/do what they say.



Lastly, you seem to be under the impression I'm some former nemesis who's coming back to do battle with you again. Surely, you've had some serious flame wars on this forum - but I assure you I'm not some old poster coming back for another round. :)

No hard feelings of course - just discussing the 'alphamale' aspect of all this donjuan material. We agree on some things, and not on others.

Again, thanks for your comments.

See you around...
maelstrom, this is very true.
I know this guy who tries to be alpha amongst the group of friends. But he's never approached a girl or # cl;osed or even had ***** for that matter. but he tries to act alpha around the guys he knows will follow him. he is pretty angry, he loses his temper so easily like a damn girl like ****. He tries to act tough around us, but i know for fact he'll never be alpha material. He puts ppl down when he feels they dont live up to "his" expectations. and what i mean by his expectations is that if he just dont plain like you, he dont like you. He's pretty selective about who he chooses to know. Most of the time he acts pretty fake, i can tell by his attitude with ppl. always cracking jokes...why?? cause in reality he's actually a pretty bad socializer and not much of an interesting person. Either he'll crack a joke or tell a story that similarly happened to his friend, but nothing of himself. He's still living in his comfort zone and same chain of friends from H.S., so this will lead to his fall down ....

thats the stuff i hate, tryin to act all alpha around ppl u know u can push around. but every other time ur just another lame AFC.
these types of ppl make me sick to even know them.
 
Joined
Apr 3, 2003
Messages
3,667
Reaction score
18
Location
http://pimphop.com
Sorry I once again only read part of your post. You claim to only of been here for 1 week. You claim not to be as you called it a old nemisis...

How did you dig that very old post (I believe last summer) up.

It was buried down in Anything Else. Not even on the main board.

You start to say one thing then you say another. Misdirection. Why?

There have been alot of fakers around here lately. Quite a few have been busted.

If you've dug that old post up within 1 week as you say then you must be a very incredible person.

This is why I'm not even going to bother engaging you in any form of debate.

You believe as you desire and I will as I desire.
 

malestrom

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 16, 2004
Messages
19
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by Player_Supreme
Sorry I once again only read part of your post. You claim to only of been here for 1 week. You claim not to be as you called it a old nemisis...

How did you dig that very old post (I believe last summer) up.

It was buried down in Anything Else. Not even on the main board.

You start to say one thing then you say another. Misdirection. Why?

There have been alot of fakers around here lately. Quite a few have been busted.

If you've dug that old post up within 1 week as you say then you must be a very incredible person.

This is why I'm not even going to bother engaging you in any form of debate.

You believe as you desire and I will as I desire.


:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Look, Player_Supreme. Here are your options:

1) Realize that I'm just another guy on the forum sharing my knowledge, ideas and thoughts about women

2) Become an overly paranoid cyber-detective and scrutinize my posts to expose a complex conspiracy I've launched against on you on sosuave.com


Honestly, man...you strike me as a little offbeat if not downright weird. But I don't know - maybe you've been involved in some really ugly flamewars around here. ???

As far as 'fakers', I can't comment because I've not been here long enough. Although I will say that the vast majority of this board seems to be filled with alot of people talking out of their ass and are embellishing their accomplishments with women.

If you've dug that old post up within 1 week as you say then you must be a very incredible person.

...using the search function to look up "alpha male" makes me incredible? That's flattering, but in my modest opinion I have to say it just makes me a savvy researcher.

Lastly, it's pretty ridiculous to not read someones post (after they've asked you twice) - then feel compelled to comment on it. wuzupwiththat?

Anyway, those are your two options. Pick one or the other. My suggestion is that you pick number one and keep your paranoia at bay so you don't make an ass of yourself. Or at least give me the benefit of the doubt and allow time to reveal what's true. With that, we can both help one another in our respective efforts in becoming better men.

-Or-

You can pick number two and keep commenting on my identity like some obsessed computer sleuth trying to unravel the mystery of who I am.

If you choose number two and care to keep on with it, this will be the last of my correspondence with you.

I say: let's talk shop and be better men for it.

Now, gentlemen, back to the topic at hand...
 
Joined
Apr 3, 2003
Messages
3,667
Reaction score
18
Location
http://pimphop.com
1. You don't hand me options. Sorry I'm not biting.

2. I'm sure the rest of what you said is valid and on point so keep strokin it.

good bye
 

Devestator

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 24, 2003
Messages
167
Reaction score
0
Geesh! All this alpha nonsense! In every social group there is a heirarchy. It emerges naturally. The alpha male is the (male) leader of that group, or the most dominant member.

You take a bunch of subordinate males, and one of them will become the alpha males. Everyone will NOT just sit with their thumbs up their asses waiting for someone with the magical fairy alpha gene to come along and take charge.

On the other hand, get a bunch of alphas together, and the same heirarchy will emerge. Some tough alpha types will become subordinates.

In your group of friends, can you make decisions better than the leader? Do you have great concern for the welfare of your group? Then you have a good shot at being the leader. If not, that's okay. You have a role. Just be a good friend and play your role. Better to be a beta among cool people than the alpha loser!
 

JSH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 20, 2003
Messages
1,095
Reaction score
0
Age
37
Location
London
Originally posted by Devestator
Geesh! All this alpha nonsense! In every social group there is a heirarchy. It emerges naturally. The alpha male is the (male) leader of that group, or the most dominant member.

You take a bunch of subordinate males, and one of them will become the alpha males. Everyone will NOT just sit with their thumbs up their asses waiting for someone with the magical fairy alpha gene to come along and take charge.

On the other hand, get a bunch of alphas together, and the same heirarchy will emerge. Some tough alpha types will become subordinates.

In your group of friends, can you make decisions better than the leader? Do you have great concern for the welfare of your group? Then you have a good shot at being the leader. If not, that's okay. You have a role. Just be a good friend and play your role. Better to be a beta among cool people than the alpha loser!
thank you, head screwed on boy
 

Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 16, 2003
Messages
914
Reaction score
17
Age
38
Location
Louisiana
Alpha genes! Pft, what a load of manure. I'm with playa, this is nonsense. Being "alpha" is all about context:

Some of you pretentious, preposterous d1ckheads are gonna tell me that a crippled, ugly, old vegetable in a wheelchair can't poooosibly be an alpha. Well Steven Hawking is the alpha of the entire physics community, so fukk off!

That deformed midget with an IQ of 90? Yeah, guess what, he's the alpha of the deformed midgets with an IQ of 90. No one can be "alpha" in EVERY situation, don't kid yourself.

Physical demeanor has veeeery little to do with alphaness. Maybe PERCEIVED alphaness, but that's it. Remember Hawking and Napoleon.

Originally posted by malestrom
Also, as far as the gene thing:
I don't think there's an alpha gene - that's just ridiculous. What I said was there are TRAITS that are GENETIC and you can't really change these. Height, physical attractiveness, intelligence, verbal aptitude, emotional predisposition, athletic skill
With the exception of height, you have a HUGE degree of control over every factor you mentioned. Physical attractiveness? Work out and learn about fashions or what looks good on you. Intelligence? Easy. Read about what interests you, study more often, make a commitment! Verbal aptitude... practice practice practice. Emotional predisposition? A long time ago my emotional predisposition was one of self-pity and loathing, very pessimistic. And now I turned it all around. Athletic skill? Practice.

There is a CAP for every one of these that varies from person to person, but most people are unaware of how much potential lies within themselves.

As for the original poster... how can you say that alphaness is just inborne? Oh right, uh huh. Some people are just DOOMED to suck at life while others are fated to accel at it, right? That's a real can-do attitude, Hitler. Read 'Brave New World' by Aldous Huxley and then get back to me.

People BUILD THEMSELVES into alphas every day. Bill Gates sucked ass at social situations. He was a total nerd and he looked like a worm. Look at him now. He still looks like a worm, and he's still a nerd, but he is the wealthiest man on the planet, period. But that's alright, man. You keep on underestimating people and puffing out your chest to make yourself feel better, and we'll be more than happy to throw it all back in your face and make you eat your words.

Duke
 

tactic

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2003
Messages
1,323
Reaction score
1
Age
37
Who the **** cares if you're an alpha or not... Just be the best you can be.

There is no such thing as magically becoming an alpha. If you have belief that you're an alpha, then you're an alpha to yourself... But if you want to make others think you're an alpha male, then SHOW IT. Don't try to make yourself feel bad that you ain't gonna be one. C'mon people, most of you guys are over 18... Lay off the **** and just experience things yourself and learn to be an alpha. Magic doesn't exist in our bodies.

If you want a discussion about genes, I would be glad to share some things I know with you.

tactic
 
Top