The theft security **** test

[Ease]

You can't keep clashing with me like this atom toucher, you will run out of clever quips when i stop giving you new ones to copy. You know you dont have it in you haha.

It is a **** test because these guys approached her, and out of the corner of her eye, and the corner of everyones eye they are watching you react. How do you react? Do nothing and yes you are not bothered - well done. Do this 4 times out of 5 and you will live a happy life.

But this is an oppurtunity: every 1 out of 5 times, you want to do something to re-assert your position as dominant male to your friends and your woman? You go over and you dominate another man in front of her. Show your masculine side and have her giggling and blushing about how you got macho and marked your territory. Your woman and other guys around will always test your position, sometimes its about leaving behind those iron rules of doing and saying nothing and flex your muscles. It's been said before me but you just never understood.

If this concept is too much for you, then do like i said and shut your mouth when it comes to areas that you dont understand.

 

[loveshogun]

You can't keep clashing with me like this atom toucher, you will run out of clever quips when i stop giving you new ones to copy. You know you dont have it in you haha.

It is a **** test because these guys approached her, and out of the corner of her eye, and the corner of everyones eye they are watching you react. How do you react? Do nothing and yes you are not bothered - well done. Do this 4 times out of 5 and you will live a happy life.

But this is an oppurtunity: every 1 out of 5 times, you want to do something to re-assert your position as dominant male to your friends and your woman? You go over and you dominate another man in front of her. Show your masculine side and have her giggling and blushing about how you got macho and marked your territory. Your woman and other guys around will always test your position, sometimes its about leaving behind those iron rules of doing and saying nothing and flex your muscles. It's been said before me but you just never understood.

If this concept is too much for you, then do like i said and shut your mouth when it comes to areas that you dont understand.

Asserting dominance over other people isn't so much an active thing established by the occasional "turning point event" like the showdown you describe one week and a debate the next. It builds up as an overall presence over time.

So, if you're doing what you're supposed to be doing 90 percent of the time before this situation appears, you won't have to do anything when it does. Because the woman, and all of your friends, will know exactly the same thing: that you don't take any bs behavior, and they should act right if they want to continue hanging around you.

In this way, people are like dogs - if you yell at a dog, it'll only work if the dog was already submissive to you in the first place. Canine submissive reactions are something built up over time, just like in people. If everyone's already "watching you out of the corner of their eyes," then chances are they never took you that seriously in the first place.

I know that even if I were to f*ck something like this up in front of my group of friends, or anyone I'm dating, there's a "forgiveness factor" because they know I don't f*ck this kind of thing up most of the time. Most of the time, I'm the one getting everyone together and making the plans. After years and years and years of this, it's pretty established that I'm the one everyone asks "what's goin' on" when Friday rolls around. That is social dominance.

I'm not saying not to be dominant in this situation, and I'm not saying that your goal isn't the right goal. But, I have to agree with Atom Smasher here and say that your method targets the symptoms of male submissiveness, rather than the causes.

If this kinda thing sneaks up on you, and suddenly you have to prove you're dominant then and there, whereas if you were already dominant (meaning you aren't reasserting - you've been asserting every day for ____ years) you wouldn't have to do anything? Phew... you're right, Ease. That IS a big problem!

 

[loveshogun]

To clarify, we're not "doing nothing" in this situation. We've already done what needed to be done before the situation appears.

If you're going to be dominant, you gotta build it up over time.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I'm with Atom on this one, it's important to establish whats ok and not ok in a relationship. I would keep an eye on her to make sure first of all that she is OK and second of all that she wasnt enjoying their company too much. If she was I would talk to her about it after the gathering. Wanna know why? Because if I start chatting with a female at a bar it's because I want to bone her. If that's ok with us then fine, but if shes not going to like that (and she should'nt in a normal relationship) then she needs to turn on her gas face and wait for those guys to leave. My only rule in relationships is that everything be equal, what she can do I can do. If I cant have that then it's over.

I don't believe that this is a **** test, shes hanging out with her friend so it's not about you. Is she inconspicuously looking over at you every once in a while? Or is she looking over at you with a worried expression? Shes prolly more preoccupied with what her friend is thinking. How is it a **** test if you could have missed the whole thing? A test is conducted with purpose is all im saying. If I would have gotten any bad vibes from her table I would have gone over there given her a big hug and a kiss and stared those ****ers down "so who are your freinds? you just met these guys here? LOL guys, both of these girls have boyfriends OK honey i'm just making sure you're OK." and go back to chilling with my friends.

 

[Ease]

You are rejecting my idea that 1 action, like telling off a guy for chatting up your girl, will change peoples perceptions of you?

Small actions like this every once in a while helps to keep in check, people are always testing. As I said, men and women will always keep an eye on eachother. Men are like dogs in a pecking order, and women will test their man to make sure he is still worthy of her affection. It is true that you build your position of dominance over time, but shows of dominance are necessary. This is one of them.

Your idea that it will only work on submissive people is misguided. I could explain why i think this, but it will be more effective if you try it yourself, and watch people do it to you. Do one of these 'turning point events' and then you say 'lets see him try that again'. A bit like how i turned atom guy upside down with my last post, he wouldn't have showed his face in this thread again if you hadn't come to his aid haha.

My only rule in relationships is that everything be equal, what she can do I can do.

Well we will never see eye to eye then! You make the important decisions and walk in front so she can too? She wears make up so you can too?!
Don't get it twisted this isnt relationship 101, we are just talking about shutting down a guy who is chatting her up once in a while.
ps. do you also take turns to be bigger spoon to make it equal?

 

[SgtSplacker]

Ease your taking my relationship rule completely out of context. Of course there are things she can enjoy that I cant or dont even want to for that matter. But when it comes to things like this something that we can both do that may or not be ideal for the other person, it has to be equal. She wants a **** buddy? I want one too. She wants to party all night with her friends? I will too. Theres certain things she wont do for me? I will not do certain things for her either. I don't get oral sex? YOU dont get oral sex. She wants to act like a little rude beyotch, then i'll say the first ******* remark that comes across my mind. It's kinda like a rule of natural selection, everything either gets facked or everything works. But one thing for sure, is that your not left butthurt because shes being an ass to you for whatever reason

 

[loveshogun]

You are rejecting my idea that 1 action, like telling off a guy for chatting up your girl, will change peoples perceptions of you?

Not at all. YOU were arguing that. You argued it by saying that doing nothing that one time will change their perceptions, whereas doing something will keep their opinion of you high. You asked the question, we answered.

Then when we answered in a way you didn't expect, you added the extra details of "this is obviously a pick-up attempt and everyone's watching and judging."

Our answers didn't change because we had that possibility laid out in our brains already - still not worth the trouble unless the guy is actually doing (not trying - doing) more than just talking. Groping, cussing her out, upsetting her, etc.

I already said, there's a line that the guy can cross where I would intervene, and "assert my dominance" - so long as we're still using dog metaphors (they're handy, aren't they?). So that point, I concede to you. However, talking to my woman is not that line. To suggest that the buck stops at "talking" can be troublesome for new guys on the board, and guys who are in relationships where they're trying to build something better. Sure, for someone experienced, this will come off as dominance because it's the normal pattern of behavior. For someone unsure of himself, the same action will come off as reactive and wimpy.

It's a good academic exercise for people who have been in this for a while, but I think both me and Atom emphasized the "be cooler than your competition" angle to drive home in case any newer people read.

Either way, this is getting way overanalyzed. I stick by personally letting the guy slide, up to my comfort zone (which is pretty wide), and talk as much as he wants. He starts putting his hands on my girl, then I'm getting her out of there... AFTER seeing how she reacts first.

I still assert that if my dominance has to come out in the club, I've been doing everything wrong leading up to that. Like in Boogie Nights where the guy shoots his cheating wife and then himself.

 

[Ease]

Not at all. YOU were arguing that. You argued it by saying that doing nothing that one time will change their perceptions, whereas doing something will keep their opinion of you high. You asked the question, we answered.
.

I hate to get into who is correct and who is wrong thing here. But im just repeating myself from now on.

Asserting dominance over other people isn't so much an active thing established by the occasional "turning point event" like the showdown you describe one week and a debate the next.

You are rejecting my idea that 1 action, like telling off a guy for chatting up your girl, will change peoples perceptions of you

You are at a party or bar with friends and your girlfriend. You are with males in a group and you spot your girlfriend sitting with her friend at a table when 2 guys you dont know sit down and enter a conversation. Your girl and her friend are being chatted up, the guys are good looking and the girls are smiling.

Do nothing and yes you are not bothered - well done. Do this 4 times out of 5 and you will live a happy life. But this is an oppurtunity: every 1 out of 5 times, you want to do something to re-assert your position

Like i said to atom, this kind of DJ bible regurgitation is good and all, but, sometimes its about leaving behind those iron rules of doing and saying nothing and flex your muscles. It's been said before me but you just never understood. You talk about social dominance like it is something you purchased from a store.

The wise man would read your posts and then say, 'well that's great loveshogun, but how do i actually achieve and maintain social dominance? What happens when two guys sit down at a table with my girlfriend and they start laughing at their jokes? How do i react?'

Study what i said earlier in this thread and read it carefully.

 

[LE6END]

So I understand fully,

Ease, You're saying in a situation like this, which may or may not come around often, you have to display your male dominance, and take action?

While, conversely, Atom is saying if you were displaying your dominance daily through out the relationship, and not just on a particular night, this situation would be avoided entirely?

What I do agree with Ease on, though I don't assume any one was regurgitating it, is generic DJ Bible responses, opposite actual, authentic experience speaking (which, of course, I do believe Atom has.) I haven't read the bible, and don't plan on ever reading it. The totality of it is simply the advanced use of common sense. Besides that, I want to keep the elements of pursuit natural. Not to say the bible would take that away, but I feel like if I had all the answers in front of me, that would take away from the experience.

 

[loveshogun]

I hate to get into who is correct and who is wrong thing here. But im just repeating myself from now on.

But you did get into who's right and wrong. Atom didn't really do much to help - all I said is that I happened to agree with his stance. I don't think I said you were wrong. Just that in this:

You are at a party or bar with friends and your girlfriend. You are with males in a group and you spot your girlfriend sitting with her friend at a table when 2 guys you dont know sit down and enter a conversation. Your girl and her friend are being chatted up, the guys are good looking and the girls are smiling. You are in a relationship, hence she is your girl, and the other girl is also taken but the fellow boyfriend is not here.

What do you do?

... I would have no reaction. I know nothing about that situation. Honestly, my kneejerk reaction would have been "find out what's going on," if anything. If she's "my girl," I trust her to be my girl. That assumes that I've been doing everything right up until then. You didn't say anything about whether we'd had a fight beforehand, or if she flirts with guys. None of that. Blank slate. All you gave us is "two guys walk up to my girl and her friend at table and start talking."

How does it make any kind of sense anywhere to immediately turn that into a dominance game?

So once again, if the girl is my girl, she's my girl. No intervention needed based on what you provided - period. Faith does have to come in at some point, because no matter how good your game is, you're not controlling other people. Just influencing them.

To be honest, I never read the DJ Bible. Started with Doc Love's System in 2002, and been figuring things out on my own since.

I've gotta ask, though - why ask a question in the first place if you're only looking for one specific answer? For that matter, what makes "Ease's absolute right answer" different from the "DJ Bible" regurgitation you crusade against?

I'm giving you a lot more cred because you've been part of this community for a while. But I'm not sure what you're trying to prove here by asking a question and not accepting our answers.

So, respectfully, I ask this: are you asking for our answers, Ease? Or are you asking us to give you your answer?

As to how to achieve and maintain social dominance, there are two ways of showing a new guy how to do this. One, you can come up with a very specific example like "two guys walk up to your girl at a bar," and give him a step by step.

Or you can have him work on himself, to study himself and his behaviors, and become dominant overall, and let that just extend to his various actions.

Give a man a fish, or teach a man to fish. That's how I see it.