The texting **** test

[Ease]

A girl sits opposite you at dinner. It is your 3rd date, you have been intimate but not yet closed the deal. She is relationship potential, you like her. You have ordered your food and are engaged in light conversation. There is a pause and a few moments of silence... She reaches into her purse and starts texting while looking down to her lap.


What do you do?

 

[Zodiac]

A girl sits opposite you at dinner. It is your 3rd date, you have been intimate but not yet closed the deal. She is relationship potential, you like her. You have ordered your food and are engaged in light conversation. There is a pause and a few moments of silence... She reaches into her purse and starts texting while looking down to her lap.


What do you do?

I slowly excuse myself to the bathroom, pay for my part of the check to the waitress on the way out and leave her there at the diner.

May sound dramatic but hey if she wants to text someone else during a date she can go be with that person as she considers that person important and cant even set aside a few hours for me as I have for her by showing up to this date. Anytime a woman begins texting without even saying anything before hand like "I have to check my messages because I'm waiting on something important" is a slap in the face and even more of a slap in the face as she is pretty much stating you aren't worth her time. Even though I like this hypothetical girl is not a reason for me to overlook her considering me a chump by texting in the middle of a conversation even if it is a few moment pause.

 

[Tiguere]

always remember that you arent only paying for her food but also for her exclusive attention.

like the guy said... excuse yourself to the bathroom and never look back.

 

[Ease]

Ok I see some responses inclined to leave the table and cut communication in response. I see the pride in this action.

But seeing as we dont want to masturbate for the rest of our lives, there is a better way to deal with this. Remember that girls will test a man no matter what. It is only healthy that they do, they need to weed the strong from the weak.

I'll give my thoughts after some more contributions.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Well she might have just done it due to the awkward silence.. I was hanging out with a girl once who would not stop texting, so I just took her phone away.

Lots of girls these days don't know right from wrong when it comes to manners, so you just have to teach them a thing or two haha.

 

[Fela Kuti]

people are overreacting here. I mean, come on. if she's really a relationship material it's silly to leave her just because she texted someone in the middle of a date. she could be texting her sister to feed the cat or something. or she just pretended to text to avoid awkward silence. yes, it's a faux pas to text without permission but still. I would just pull out my own phone and play a game or something. she'll get the message.

 

[st_99]

IMO, no need to get all dramatic about the situation BUT you just need to keep it in your head that this girl is showing you she is rude and you need to downgrade her ASAP and just continue from there.

 

[Serg897]

I think we underestimate how widespread texting has become in our society, and how many many females especially will be constantly hooked 24 hours a day.

I would make humor out of it. Tell her she is a text fiend. Ask her what's so important. Talk about how people are so busy texting they don't notice other things going on in the real world. Obviously you dont want to be aggressive but you also need to speak your opinion.

 

[EvilAgenda]

A MAN is UNMOVABLE against ALL THE SHT a woman THROWS HIS WAY.

Stop being a whiny p*ssy complaining oh wah wah wah, you are disrespecting me because you are texting and not talking to me. Show her you can handle her sht and are unmovable by it. You don't need her constant attention.

On a semi-related note, my suggestion for you, don't go on dinner dates. Go on action dates, that way you won't be stuck in a situation where she is texting and you are looking lost.

 

[PDubb75]

This recently happened to me, and I took her phone away. She looked at me like I was crazy. I told her it was rude, and she apologized and turned her phone off. The next time she came over she left her phone in her car.

Don't go running off just because she did it once. I think it shows an inability to confront a situation that is not going 100% in your favor. I consider that a weakness.

 

[Ease]

Ill give my personal (the correct) view quickly before it gets lost in posts.

Naturally I would be surprised when someone pulls this disrespectful move during a dinner with me. Staring at her with an unyielding gaze, I say, 'So do you always text people during dates?'. She will smile/laugh in submission, she knows she has been caught.

This is one of those situations when she watch your reaction out of the corner of her eye. You have to be stern because she is disrespecting you, but a normal girl will yield quickly and this will be the end of it. She will then sit happy that she has been put in her place, comfortable in knowledge that her date is not a loser.

Alternative catch phrases:

'Oh im sorry, am i boring you?' or 'Dont text, give me your phone'.

This recently happened to me, and I took her phone away. She looked at me like I was crazy. I told her it was rude, and she apologized and turned her phone off. The next time she came over she left her phone in her car.

Don't go running off just because she did it once. I think it shows an inability to confront a situation that is not going 100% in your favor. I consider that a weakness.

Best reply so far.

 

[49au]

If we walked away from a woman every time they give us a sh1t test, then, as Ease said, we would be perpetually masturbating.

This is an opportunity.

I think it's possible to let her know that she is being disrespectful by smiling and saying something like, "Surely you're not bored already." Or depending on the dynamic, you could say something a little ****y like "I guess you're as bored as me." - with a smile of course. Or maybe something playful like, "That reminds me, I need to text my girlfriend to tell her I'll be home late."

Basically something to subtly let her know that you don't like her behavior, but you aren't freaking out about it (getting up and walking out? really?!)


Also, as someone suggested, people frequently use cell phones/texting to deal with awkward silence or "space." Look around in clubs and bars and notice how many girls are standing around texting. Guys too. They're just trying to avoid standing around with their thumb up their ass.

Her motive for texting during an awkward silence on a date may not be low IL or disrespect. It could just be her (admittedly immature) way of dealing with tension.

 

[Solomon]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=185263

I learned my lesson after that thread

 

[TheJazz]

It means she doesn't respect you. Walk away.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Just ask her about it -- I think that's a little intense -- look at the generation of those in their 20's -- raised on cell phones and nintendos and all of this digital sh*t -- her behavior, was, as a young person, pretty normal -- but it definitely was a sign of her disengaging the conversation.

Maybe it was one of her female friends saying, "Is he cute? Are you having fun?"

Don't overreact, but state that you'd prefer she be engaged and save cell phones for later. I think a normal person could respect that response. If you NEXT her JUST for that, I'd say that's a bit overkill.

 

[Upside]

Question.

Same chick, same restaurant. One year later. The deal has been closed numerous times and then some. She breaks out her phone for a second for when the lull in conversation hits.

Big deal, little deal, or no deal at all?

 

[Atom Smasher]

You use foresight and prevent the problem from happening in the first place.

When I first date woman, I pull out my phone, and ask to see her phone. I shut off my phone and say "I think it's incredibly rude to leave a phone on when spending some quality time with someone special, don't you? I'm shutting off my phone while I'm with you, and I hope you'll do the same."

I don't normally use the phrase "quality time", but it plants a good feeling inside her, and it offsets my being a hard-ass about it. All but the dumbest women will understand that I am saying that I expect her to keep her phone off when she's with me.

If she were to disobey later in the date, I would absolutely end the date immediately. I would show no anger whatsoever, but just very matter-of-factly tell her this date is finished and take her home.

There is nothing more ruthless and terrifying than a man who enforces his rules in a matter-of-fact way while showing no emotion. Showing anger will soften your ruthlessness. She will apologize and beg, but it gets enforced anyway. She will be very slow to show such disrespect again anytime soon.

 

[scribblec]

This recently happened to me, and I took her phone away. She looked at me like I was crazy. I told her it was rude, and she apologized and turned her phone off. The next time she came over she left her phone in her car.

Don't go running off just because she did it once. I think it shows an inability to confront a situation that is not going 100% in your favor. I consider that a weakness.

quoted for the truth, i did the same thing took the phone away in a playful manner then she was really apologetic and i didnt have to resort to a dramatic fking exit

 

[JdelaSilviera]

This is minor stuff.. wouldn´t bother me a bit. There a LOT of situations (i.e. flaking, flirting with other guys, tantrums etc) where you must show some bone, but not on this.

If you show you are affected by a situation like this one, you´ll look childish,social unaware, insecure and a control freak.

And she might be doing that cause she is nervous...

Obviously some "pua" replies, are going to be:
- leave the place
- call a girl to make her jealous
- flirt with the waitress
- slap the *****, and make her blow you in public...

PS: removing the phone from her playfully telling you need to call your lover is actually nice.

 

[st_99]

A MAN is UNMOVABLE against ALL THE SHT a woman THROWS HIS WAY.

.

In theory this is a nice concept but in reality its unrealistic. Not to say you shouldn't strive for it, you certainly should.