The Texting Revolution

[grinder]

I knew someone would make it a generational issue.

Actually, I would venture to guess that when language was developed, it was developed by the more mature crowd who had been around a while and had a better idea of how it could best be used efficiently to handle things, while the young'uns were basically grunting and pointing and making noises that this is how language should be used.



Because, evidently, she was interested in you. I can't believe this is being used as an example to prove texting works.

She even did the man's job for you of obtaining her number by giving it to you without you asking and also by initiating the contact a couple of days later and also by leading via asking you out for a drink! This proves nothing, it's always easy when the girl wants it and does all the work.

Be that as it may, there's still nothing in that example that couldn't have been done by calling, and quicker over a phone call rather then an ongoing series of texts.

Hey, I'll catch you guys later when you start threads about "She didn't text back, what should I do?"

I’ll agree, texting is a woman’s tool. But adapt and learn or die is a universal since the beginning of time.

Learn this or you are dead in this society.

Go ahead and put a bolt gun to your head because you died long ago.

 

[STR8UP]

I’ll agree, texting is a woman’s tool. But adapt and learn or die is a universal since the beginning of time.

Learn this or you are dead in this society.

Go ahead and put a bolt gun to your head because you died long ago.

I think part of the problem some guys have with texting is resistance to change, and part of it is legitimate reasons based upon other factors.

But if you ask me, by simply saying "Texting is for women" you are shooting yourself in the foot.

The hot lesbian I posted about in the other thread.....she's a texting fiend. I don't know her work hours and such, so I'm even thinking about texting her to get the ball rolling.

Why would I do this? A couple of reasons.

First, as I mentioned, I don't know the best time to reach her. I think she sometimes works later into the evening and probably can't take calls, so a text might be better than a voicemail on the first call.

Secondly, I have "something to discuss" with her. We have already established a reason for contact. I have this reason to use as the premise for contact. All I have to do is text her "Let's talk about xxxxx!" and I'm pretty sure I will get a favorable response. When that happens, I say, "ok, what time do you get off work...I'll call you".

Finally, when she originally expressed interest in my project, she said "you should get my email or phone number so you can fill me in". She isn't going to think I'm a pansy for opening with a text.

I'm not avoiding a phone call because I'm afraid to talk to a girl. It ISN'T a buffer. I have hung out with this chick half a dozen times already. There is something established. This is a proper way to use texting.

On the other side of the coin, I have heard DIRECTLY from the mouths of women that when a guy asks them out via text it can be a turn off. You just have to know when to do it and when to not. But this goes back to the original point of this post. THERE ARE NO ABSOLUTES. There isn't a hard and fast "No Texting" rule. Or if there is it should be eradicated.

I guess you could say that texting is an "advanced" technique when dealing with women. Same with Myspace and such. It can be your friend or your enemy. You just have to learn that end of the game and know how to use them.

 

[NewMan]

It's not about resistance to change, It's about the fact that picking up the phone IS NEVER WRONG.

Would you ask a girl out over email? Could you sned the same message over email that you can voice to voice?

communication is key - and avoiding miss communication by not sending emails and text messages is key in my opinion.

I for one will not be texting - I am not going to allow miss communication and the like into my communication with women.

 

[GuanYu]

great post.

I know from personal experience that texting is the new "in" thing, especially for teenagers all the way up to 40's or so. I've been successful with multiple women by strictly texting/email. In fact, a majority of my buddies text me more than call when they want to hook up.

 

[darkstarrr]

double post

 

[fertileTurtle]

It can help but not for initial pickup. You still have to be able to talk face to face.

 

[darkstarrr]

It's not about resistance to change, It's about the fact that picking up the phone IS NEVER WRONG.

Would you ask a girl out over email? Could you sned the same message over email that you can voice to voice?

communication is key - and avoiding miss communication by not sending emails and text messages is key in my opinion.

I for one will not be texting - I am not going to allow miss communication and the like into my communication with women.

you make a subtle but strong point here NewMan. i've had all sorts of little miscommunications with women over IM and text message due to the lack of voice tonality, for example.

i believe the guys have made some good points that texting is here to stay. nearly everybody is doing it these days. my boss sends me text messages from time to time. work is going to be cancelled because of the snow tomorrow i bet. and by 7am i wil receive a text that says so.

we're talking about texting in a much more intimate setting though aren't we. i think when it boils down to meaningless conversation it can be "cute" to use it. but as NewMan may be onto something for which he may not even realize: it can be easy to fall into the pattern of using texting as a form of regular communication. i've been there.

its been said before that phone calls with babes should have some fluff, but the ultimate goal is getting together. we don't talk on the phone for hours on end unless we are on a business trip for example or far away from our women, right? likewise, a phone call is the next step closer [than texting] to the ultimate goal of getting together. to get laid, right? to have togetherness and intimacy. the whole point of this forum in a way, isn't it?

in conclusion: like the aspects of DJism, its important to always remember certain things and not let yourself fall into destructive patterns or behaviors. if people who text begin to rely on it as a regular form of communication it can in some cases lead to an interference with the general flow of an intimate relationship. maybe someone else can elaborate on that point. although i wouldn't want us to start splitting hairs here. as long as you don't over do it i don't find any problem with it, and considering the technologicalization of society, texting is here to stay as a form of communication.

writing a letter-->email-->text-->--instant messaging-->phone call-->get together
(levels of 'closeness' as I deduced from NewMan's post)

*end of ramble

 

[ketostix]

You can also quickly and easily mass text girls in your phone book. It's a good way to find out who is up for going out. I find it silly for someone to shun texting on an internet message board. It's simply a tool just like IM, email and message boards are.

 

[STR8UP]

You can also quickly and easily mass text girls in your phone book. It's a good way to find out who is up for going out. I find it silly for someone to shun texting on an internet message board. It's simply a tool just like IM, email and message boards are.

It's like they have finally made it past the initial tech barrier (the internet) but have a problem moving forward with other technologies.

I was a bit "late" getting on the internet. I think I started in 1998. But I quickly learned that things are rapidly changing, and you have to keep up.

I texted one of my sisters a couple of months ago and used some common tech shorthand, and she had no idea what I was talking about. Incidentally, she is married. Had she been single, I would be willing to bet that this would not have been an issue.

What does this tell us?

Some people are behind the times. Embrace technology, or you will be left behind. I doubt that phone conversations will ever go out of style, but the US is generally a couple of years behind the rest of the world as far as this stuff goes, and we are just now catching up with EU and Asia with the popularity of the SMS system.

 

[#41]

So, as a general question, how do you deal with this:

"Why didn't you respond to my text messages last night, I know you carry your phone all the time [true statement], and I know it's on all the time [true statement]?"

FWIW, I think texting is an essential tool of the 21st century communication. It's here to stay, and simply saying "I don't text" isn't going to cut it for much longer.

 

[ketostix]

It's like they have finally made it past the initial tech barrier (the internet) but have a problem moving forward with other technologies.

Yeah, I also think it comes down to simply PU dogma. I seem to recall someone saying texting is not "DJ" and a long thread debate ensued.

I was a bit "late" getting on the internet. I think I started in 1998. But I quickly learned that things are rapidly changing, and you have to keep up.

I had an Atari computer back in the early 80's and some kids had the Commodore I think from Radio Shack. You couldn't do much with that thing or the Apples at school back then.. Around 1997 or '98 is when I got on my own modern pc and got online also. Being a college student in the late 90's it started to basically be required to have a pc and internet. I remember in the early mid-90's doing my first papers on a typewriter, when most people had transitioned to a pc, word processor and printer. Let me tell you with the way I type it was not fun correcting typos. I think it was around Windows 95 release when everyone started getting online. Using 95/98 on those slower computers through a modem connection was pretty frustrating .

I texted one of my sisters a couple of months ago and used some common tech shorthand, and she had no idea what I was talking about. Incidentally, she is married. Had she been single, I would be willing to bet that this would not have been an issue.

What does this tell us?

Some people are behind the times. Embrace technology, or you will be left behind. I doubt that phone conversations will ever go out of style, but the US is generally a couple of years behind the rest of the world as far as this stuff goes, and we are just now catching up with EU and Asia with the popularity of the SMS system.

And the funny thing of it is, I don't like to talk on the phone that much anyway. I send a short to the point text to set up a meeting and talk in person. It's how I would use the phone if it was back in the day as well, so to me there's no real difference.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Texting, IM, email, and long phone calls are all Buffers if they become substitutes for face-to-face personal communication. It's not that digital communication is "bad", it's when it becomes your PREFERRED method of communicating that it becomes a Buffer.

Bear in mind what a Buffer is - a methodology with the purpose of blunting potential rejection. How many guys have bemoaned a MySpace hook up where they got off on all the great IMs and emails and thought how compatible they were with some girl only to find out she was really a 300lb. land monster who took shots from top angles in her pics? That's the Buffer.

Let me ask this, since a good percentage of us are above 30 y.o. and can remember a time when there was no internet, cell phones or IMs; did you ever pass notes to a girl you liked in junior high or high school? Did you ever write letters on notebook paper to the girl you wanted to get with? How did that work out for you? Why don't you do it now? Maybe because it would come off as immature?

IMs, chat, email, texts, etc. are simple the 21st century equivalent of passing notes in class. Women may even eat it up, because they love the act of communicating, but it's simply a Buffer against rejection. It's a nice, safe wall against looking a girl in the eye and conversing on the spot. It lulls you into a false sense of security with a woman - you have all the time in the world to calculate your words, but you're blind to her body language, her vocal intonations, her eye contact, and all the rest of the subcommunications that women instinctively use on a daily basis. Texting and all the other innovative Buffers we think open us to greater facility of communication actually isolate us and limit us from learning to read a woman (and others) in real time, so it's no wonder guys freeze and choke and need PUA seminars and DVDs to help them overcome what should've been socialized into them as a natural acculturation.

I think the default excuse is to fall back on the idea that messaging is just a new modern convenience that makes it easier to connect, but all it really is is another introversion. I've been married for over 12 years, and both my wife and I have cell phones, AIM, email etc., but we've never used these for more than what needs to be bought at the grocery store on the way home from work. We have the choice to use any kind of communication, but we talk face to face or on the phone because it's easier, and there's no bullsh!t barrier of potential rejection now.

I realize all this makes me sound like some Luddite; trust me I'm not. I use IM, texting, email, my cell phone, etc. all the time. In my line of work I'd say I use digital communication more than a lot of people on this board, but it's a poor substitute for direct communication. You can't detect sarcasm, elation, depression, or really any emotional subtleties with any real certainty. Our sales team ALWAYS meet face to face with accounts. Any good salesman will agree that being present is always preferable to cold calls - why would dating be different? Because you have a personal investment - yourself.

 

[Janez]

It might be labeled as a buffer, but why would buffers be bad? They are used in electronics not that company can write on the box "this cd recorder has 2mb high speed buffer" but because buffers can be useful in unpredictable situations.

I am not saying that I am not agreeing with you to some extent, but even if it is just a buffer that does not mean we should not use it. There are different types of women in the world, and fortunately, different people are turned on by different things, and fortunately, with some women texting can be plain fun.

I don't text with women that are boring to text with, but I like to text with particular woman in my life because her messages can sometimes bring great smile to my face and sometimes are just boredom buffers ;D

 

[NewMan]

What if we're deaf and can't use the phone

This is a totally different angle - I really have no experience with it, but I can understand it is a great method of comm. if you are deaf. Power to you.

Even President Obama uses the NSA-encrypted Blackberry for his personal and work purposes

I use a Blackberry as well. I use it for work email. i do not use it for text purposes.

One of the huge reasons I do not text, is because of the many useless conversations and messages one would get. I don't want my GF to be able to text me such things as:

"What you doing?"

"where are you?"

"Call me later"

"Hey, I was at work and I saw xxxxx......."

This way, I can't be got a hold of through some random mind dump.


For me, it's the hight of lazyness. Is this person so lazy, to not be able to take 5 mins out of their day to actually pick the phone up and call.


Look, I am not trying to convince anyone here not to text. Far from it, we all have our own styles - are own way of doing things - and if it works for you - great, more power to you.

For me, I don't do it because:

- Don't want to be texted with stupid meaningless messages
- Don't want any misscommunication
- Would rather speak to someone - to convey my thought's - to get a better feeling on them
- I think texting is a kid's way to communicate. It's impersonnel - I think to set myself apart from the chaff.

Newman out.

 

[STR8UP]

There are a lot of points AGAINST texting that I don't deny.

- It CAN be used as a buffer

- It is impersonal and some of the info can be lost

- It can be seen by women as a "chump move" in some cases

- etc.

But I stick to my original point that texting is becoming more prevalent and is actually a BETTER form of communication in some cases.

People are busy and can't pick up the phone sometimes. If they don't pick up the phone do you leave a voicemail? How is this better than a text? I suppose it has the benefit of vocal tone in conveying the message, but other than that, how is it different?

It is nothing more than a TOOL that in and of itself is not inherently good or bad. It is HOW you use it that dictates whether it is beneficial to you or not.

 

[NewMan]

- It CAN be used as a buffer

- It is impersonal and some of the info can be lost

- It can be seen by women as a "chump move" in some cases

I think those 3 points are enough to tip the scale by itself.

 

[Fallen]

I have been thinking about this particular topic for a long time. Don't know exactly what it's like in the U.S. but i guess it's pretty much the same as here in Germany.
It's 2009 and you can't turn your back on the whole texting thing. I mean, you couldn't for the last 10 years. Girls/women love it.
But as a guy i believe you definitely have to follow some ground rules for not to mix up girl-girl texting with guy-girl texting. The fact that your cellphones text-archive has a guy:girl ratio of 1:100 speaks volumes.


Don't overdo it by telling long stories/drama. KISS - Keep It Short and Simple

Don't send texts saying stuff you're too scared to say face-to-face. Don't argue via text. Say it live or don't say it at all. This is class A pvss behavior.

Keep your texts shorter than hers. If she texts 2 sentences, answer with one. If she sends one with 8 words, answer with 5 words.

Rarely or never ask follow-up questions with the underlying intention that she now HAS to reply.

Take at least as much time to answer her as she does to answer you. Don't answer within a minute or so. Think before you text.


Because women tend to read into everything you say or tell them, they also tend to read into every single word you text. Talk about over-analyzing.
Watch your language and watch punctuation, placing of smilies etc. You'll never know who's gonna read it.
The whole misunderstanding/misinterpretation thing is a 2-sided coin. On one hand, you can intentionally misinterpret stuff and have a lot of fun. One the other hand you have the risk of being misunderstood/misinterpreted in a negative way. I mean, it's absolutely ridiculous from a mans perspective, but women operate differently from us as we all know.

I had a girl text me: How was your weekend with the boys in Frankfurt?

I replied: You know how it gets in Frankfurt

I meant we had a lot of fun, as you know Frankfurt and as you know my "boys" from all the great and funny stories i told you.

She understood: Fvck off - i'm not telling you


The other girl wrote: Hah! "I've been thinking of you" from London Beat is just on Blablabla FM. (Comment: Yucky 80s/90s song by the way )

I answered: Cool! Those were the days.

Obviously i didn't think enough.
After a while wondering why she never called or texted again and became somewhat cold when i contacted her, and after doing some serious CSI-Sh!t, questioning witnesses and co-workers of hers, i finally found out that it took her a lot of time, thinking and courage to come up with such a sneaky line. We had been out a couple of times but nothing ever happened because here interest level seemed to be something between moderate and uninterested, so i didn't make any major moves. How wrong i was.

Had i answered instead "I've been thinking about you too, sweetheart!" i guess we now would be married and would have 15 kids because i really really really liked her. Still do. Damn it!

She took it as a clear rejection and ran off with some other punk a couple of months later.

My point is: Use SMS/texting wisely and think before you text.

By the way: What's the correct term in the U.S? You really say "texting"? Not SMSing or something like that? "I'll send you a text" not "I'll send you an SMS"? Hmmm

 

[DJDamage]

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=VBflm_S61Wg

 

[Unprez]

It's not about resistance to change, It's about the fact that picking up the phone IS NEVER WRONG.

Would you ask a girl out over email? Could you sned the same message over email that you can voice to voice?

communication is key - and avoiding miss communication by not sending emails and text messages is key in my opinion.

I for one will not be texting - I am not going to allow miss communication and the like into my communication with women.

YES IT IS, you take the chance of calling her when she is busy will result in her not picking and might even agitate her more....txting is a way to gauge her interest and is way to be direct like txting to meet up......ive set up dates just by txting except maybe 5 min before hand wr i might just call.......the general idea is that txting is less intrusive to a girl's personal space...... making it easier to set up dates and communicate in the beggining...period

 

[The Bat]

It is nothing more than a TOOL that in and of itself is not inherently good or bad. It is HOW you use it that dictates whether it is beneficial to you or not.

Bingo.

Any other debate is just semantics and useless.