The Talk (being exclusive) yes or no?

[solo1]

Anyway i've never been in a relationship but i need some advice on this. I've asked a couple of people i know (who are in relationships). My bro said he never had it and they both assumed on being the same page. My friend had it with his girl.

However with this girl im seeing, on the 2nd date, she had told me i was the only guy she was seeing...i guess she wanted me to give her a similar response. But i never really responded to it.
When she said it, i was still thinking about being a mystery, but maybe it was a bad idea.

I know she wants a LTR, and i know i do want the same. However im unsure if she knows this.
I mean we've held hands and very much act like an exclusive couple. I believe this is enough...

However earlier for thanksgiving i had invited her to come over to join my family but she couldnt since i asked her last minute and she made plans. And i am planning to ask her to join my family for x-mas dinner...which is just as good as having the talk, i believe.

Do you guys usually have the talk or just assume? and how successful was assuming?
However if i do have the talk (maybe this weekend) im not sure how to go about this, any advice would be appreciated.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

I always had discussed it with them. I've had a one year relationship where I asked her to be exclusive after 'seeing' each other for about 2 months (senior year of high school). My next relationship was 5 years. I asked her to be exclusive after about 3 months (at age 25)

I said something along the lines of: I'm not seeing anyone else and I hope you're not seeing anyone else. I'd like us to only date each other exclusively.

They'd light up and hug and kiss me and tell me that they wanted that too.

Just fucking talk to her about it. You can't assume that she's not going to date anyone else - you should always communicate what you want!

 

[Bigworm]

bad advice -- being exclusive is something she wants more than u POWERFUL barganing tool-- u should go out at least four weeks before u say you wanna be bf. u can feel it in the relationship when u both r ready to commit -- possibly when u see her for more than sex (intellectual lvl)

 

[Ice Cold]

Tell her that you're not seeing anyone else.

 

[JJMcLure]

You don't bring it up, she has to. You will lose power and control if you bring it up. You just need to focus on keeping her INTEREST LEVEL up to a level where she wants to bring it up.

She always has to believe her interest level is slightly higher than yours. The person who has the lowest interest level in the relationship controls it.

 

[solo1]

Originally posted by JJMcLure
You don't bring it up, she has to. You will lose power and control if you bring it up. You just need to focus on keeping her INTEREST LEVEL up to a level where she wants to bring it up.

She always has to believe her interest level is slightly higher than yours. The person who has the lowest interest level in the relationship controls it.

well the thing is she already brought it up on the 2nd date, it was a little too soon if you ask me. Im pretty sure she's ready to commit, i've seen the way she is. However to her, i probably dont appear to want to commit, just because im the type of guy that likes his space. But i do want her to know im on the same page as her. it's been almost 4 weeks.

However i do still posess control in the relationship because her IL is much higher than mine.

Anyway thx for the advice, ill probably let her know this weekend. I mean i could hold this off for another month, but i dont see a point for it.