The surprising truth behind "Swingers"

[seloifter]

I just finished watching Swingers twice in one day. Don't ask why.

Many hail it as the greatest DJ movie ever made. For that reason, a few people may be upset by what I write here.

If you haven't seen it, it's about a guy who moves to LA after getting dumped in a 6-year relationship. And he just CANNOT get over here. Meanwhile, he has a couple friends whose lives consist of lookign for work during the day and PUing chicks during the nights at whatever parties or clubs they know about.
They talk about some good DJ stuff, and they pick up girls with some DJ techniques.

But in the end.... I think there is a deeper element to this movie that most DJs miss:

The stupidity of it all.

These guys play games. They go into huge debates over whether you should wait two or three days to call a girl. In the end, they got the digits - but what else do they have to show for it? Nothing. It's all pointless.
The final scene, where Trent [Vince Vaughn] thinks some woman is giving him total vibes and flirting from a distance. It's so off the wall. It's obvious she's playing with a baby, but he's so into the game he insists she's vibing him, and he reaches into his bag of tricks and pulls out his "funny, good vibe". And then she walks by him with her baby. It was his own pointless games. Not hers.

There is another scene where Trent tries to PU some chick, then tears her number up. The whole night they're looking for digits, and after a few hours he tears the first number. Because he wasn't feeling her.
It's a totally ineffecient search. He put up a DJ front, and it was ineffecient.

The true romance was with Lorraine [Heather Graham]. She calls him. Straightforward. The following day. She is totally earnest: she's going somewhere, and would like him to join her. She is just trying to find out if he's interested or not. Period. No games. He's into her, so of course he accepts.

The true reason people fall "out of love" is because they were never in love with each other in the first place. They were in love with the FACADES of the other people. When you're with someone knew, you act different. You put up a DJ facade, or a sexy facade. Whatever. So that the other person will like you. But you can't keep it up all your life.
If you get married, eventually the facade will fade and the true person will come out. What if they don't like the true person? That's a failed marriage right there.

Sure, if they didn't like the true person, they wouldn't have gone out with you in the first place (maybe). Big whoop. You don't get ass one night. Look on the bright side; at least you didn't waste 4 years of your life and $40k just to find out you're in love with a person who doesn't exist.

I think this is something Senor Fingers was getting at in one of his brilliant posts. THE GAMES DON'T MATTER. THEY'RE STUPID AND POINTLESS. Two days? Three days? what difference does it make??
You can't make someone fall in love with a facade. You have to get them to dig the real you. Games are inefficient. You waste alot of time for nothing.

I'd just like to conclude with, since I'm apparently criticizing all of DJhood, that I believe the best parts of this site are the self-improvement posts. Such as Pook and Fingers. Those are the gems. Those are what you want to keep. Forget the stupid DJ games. Forget idle tactics. In the end - it's wasting more time than gaining.

 

[E-Z Rider]

I absolutely agree.

And what you're saying is not "anti-DJ", in my opinion. The tips and tricks taught on this sight are suggestions for people that haven't yet developed the mindset and experience of a DJ. They are good for an average who comes here without much of a clue to get started with and get some initial success.

Eventually though, the focus needs to be on the DJ mindset one of confidence and open-mindedness. And gaining experience in all walks of life.

I think the more intangible things (mindset, experience) aren't stressed here quite as much as they should be. It's much easier to learn a trick than to understand and implement philosophy, but it's the deeper subjects here that will bring more awareness and hapiness to the members.

Good post -E-Z

 

[Gangster Of Love]

BLASPHEMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree, the most important thing, aspect, articles, etc. are the self-improvement ones; not the tactics, "games", etc. In fact all the newbies, AFC's will eventually need to get their "inner game", their true self in check before they are truly successful; then, and only then will they realize that the "outer game" is not where its at, and they can do without it, if they got their act together.

With that being said, we cannot just sit back and say, "oh well, just be yourself and things will happen." "Playing games doesn't work." etc. We can't live in the shoulds. Its like going into war, or in competition, you want to have as many tools as possible, just in case you ever need it, or for the days you'll need it.

Techniques, strategies, "games", etc. are all part of the big picture. Women play them, so at least you must know what to look for and BE AWARE and guard against them. So you better know these things. IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS. WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW WILL HURT YOU.

You can't hope to play any game without knowing the rules of the particular game. You must at least know them, learn some, and once you reach the point where you are so good, then you can do whatever you want; you can CREATE YOUR OWN GAME, wich is when you no longer need to play games, you are living your life and inviting everyone else to your party.

 

[drixsa]

AMEN

 

[***]

Your right about most of it. Look into seeing the second one "MADE" it goes into the aftermath of where each of them goes.

 

[lemieux66]

Made doesn't go into the aftermath of anything. It's not a sequel, they're different characters.

 

[BobbDobbs]

There continues to be this unfortunate tendency to lump LTR and STR goals into the same techniques.

Some people want STR's, whether anyone else considers them pointless or not.

Some people want LTR's, whether anyone else considers them too confining or not.

So first pick the goal, and then learn the appropriate techniques.

 

[jakethasnake]

STR, blah blah....


But he is pointing out that even STR are pointless, in the bigger picture. I understand that we all need to 'get it out of our system' and fvck lots of different women - but that's all BS, in my opinion. Our need to be polygamous NEVER disappears, perhaps only when we become too old and senile to get it up.


Seriously, don't you guys feel empty and lonely even after a good fvck or two with a fvckbuddy? I sure as hell do, from time to time. And I know why - it's because we never connected on a deeper level - the only thing that we connected with was my dyck and her snatch.


I used to think that people who said "flings and games are pointless.... it's not worth it in the end" were full of shyt, and that they were just regurgitating things told to them by zealous parents, stuff that they had yet to experience. But someone out there must have said those words in the first place because they DID experience countless flings and games, and have later discovered that a true connection was indeed more valuable. As I get older and take my first bold steps into proper adulthood (I'm in my early 20s), I realize that this is all true. I'm not ready to make the 'ultimate' commitment, but I see myself transitioning into the mindset of a more mature man. That is perfectly natural - there is no need for grown men to cling stubbornly to pubescent ideologies of 'living only for Pu$$'. That is just delayed or nascent infancy manifesting itself at old age, in my opinion.

 

[BobbDobbs]

Hmm, maybe you should visit here: http://www.nomarriage.com/

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by BobbDobbs
Hmm, maybe you should visit here: http://www.nomarriage.com/

Hehe... have you found a wife/domestic helper thru those means, Bobb?

 

[jakethasnake]

Btw, the claims on that site (esp about foreign brides) have one foot in reality but the other FIRMLY in misplaced propaganda-land. Overall they sound like a bunch of bitter dorks to me.

 

[princelydeeds]

Originally posted by jakethasnake

Seriously, don't you guys feel empty and lonely even after a good fvck or two with a fvckbuddy? I sure as hell do, from time to time. And I know why - it's because we never connected on a deeper level - the only thing that we connected with was my dyck and her snatch.


I used to think that people who said "flings and games are pointless.... it's not worth it in the end" were full of shyt, and that they were just regurgitating things told to them by zealous parents, stuff that they had yet to experience. But someone out there must have said those words in the first place because they DID experience countless flings and games, and have later discovered that a true connection was indeed more valuable. As I get older and take my first bold steps into proper adulthood (I'm in my early 20s), I realize that this is all true. I'm not ready to make the 'ultimate' commitment, but I see myself transitioning into the mindset of a more mature man. That is perfectly natural - there is no need for grown men to cling stubbornly to pubescent ideologies of 'living only for Pu$$'. That is just delayed or nascent infancy manifesting itself at old age, in my opinion.

To each his own, you have the right to decide for yourself what you want. I personally enjoy connecting even for very short periods of time. Im not really interested in "connecting" or exploring "feelings" with sum chick. I think every woman I meet is cool but only to a point. Maturity leads people in different directions. I think its quite fair to say that a mature person understands that "love" is a facade, that very likely will come to an abrupt end and leave you broken hearted, poor and lonely.

This is not an attack (I hope you don't take it that way). I think it is a sign of the optimism of youth to think and expect that you will "connect," meet your "soul mate," and live "happily ever after." The older and more "mature," I get the less I believe in "love" and connecting. I think it is yet another form of propaganda. I only know one couple that i look at (from the outside looking in) and think wow Id love to have a relationship like that. Everyone else I look at and think man , if you call that love you can keep it. I don't really know any women Id want to marry. Ive boned lots of pretty women but they are all human and have human frailty weakness and issues. I don't fault people for having problems or being human but that doesn't mean I wanna make their issues my own. i love all people, but that doesn't mean I wanna spend my life connecting or living a fantasy.

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by princelydeeds
To each his own, you have the right to decide for yourself what you want. I personally enjoy connecting even for very short periods of time. Im not really interested in "connecting" or exploring "feelings" with sum chick. I think every woman I meet is cool but only to a point. Maturity leads people in different directions. I think its quite fair to say that a mature person understands that "love" is a facade, that very likely will come to an abrupt end and leave you broken hearted, poor and lonely.

This is not an attack (I hope you don't take it that way). I think it is a sign of the optimism of youth to think and expect that you will "connect," meet your "soul mate," and live "happily ever after." The older and more "mature," I get the less I believe in "love" and connecting. I think it is yet another form of propaganda. I only know one couple that i look at (from the outside looking in) and think wow Id love to have a relationship like that. Everyone else I look at and think man , if you call that love you can keep it. I don't really know any women Id want to marry. Ive boned lots of pretty women but they are all human and have human frailty weakness and issues. I don't fault people for having problems or being human but that doesn't mean I wanna make their issues my own. i love all people, but that doesn't mean I wanna spend my life connecting or living a fantasy.

I see your point. You blow my post out of proportion though. I don't think I ever mentioned any "happily ever afters" or "the ones" in my post. Thanks.